Chapter 4: Mind

The laughters that filled the classroom delighted Aiko. She’s done with most of her exams and now she aced her presentation. She went back to her seat while the professor was dismissing them.

“Good job, Aiko.”

Aiko smiled at the professor. “Thank you, Sir. Thank you everyone.” She gathered her things and went to the cafeteria.

She kept biting her lower lip.

“What? Does your tummy hurt?” Miya worriedly glanced at her stomach.

Aiko nodded.

“Have you eaten breakfast?” Goo, the one sitting next to her, bowed down to check her facial grimace and snapped a photo. She didn’t notice it.

“I had.”

“Hmmm… it’s the exam week. You just had a presentation. Your anxiety level must be high.” Goo posted the photo on social media with a caption #justconstipated. “By the way, are you still seeing your therapist?”

Aiko fixed her long skirt. “I’m planning to see her next week. Can we order food? I just want to eat.”

“Alright. Wait for me here.” Miya volunteered.

“Thanks, Mi. Love you!”

Goo chuckled. A lot of people are liking his post.

“What are you giggling at?”

“Nothing. Kalli just commented on my post.”

“What is it about?” Aiko unlocked her phone and checked her social media. Nothing unusual.

“Goo, help me!” Miya called.

Goo left his phone to carry the tray on Miya’s hand. Aiko took his phone and peeked at what he posted. She was furious when she saw her ugly expression displayed on his feed. The post was customized so it was hidden from her. There were also lots of comments poking fun at her. One was from Kalli.

“Goooooo! I’ll kill you, you son of a %#?~/.”

Goo laughed at Aiko's reaction. Once again, their corner was filled with more pleasant noises that drowned Aiko's thoughts.

Aiko decided to see her therapist the same day. She was contemplating whether to tell her what was really happening to her.

“You seem restless, Aiko. You do not look well. Would you like to tell me more about your day?”

“Nothing, really. It’s just the exam week and bunch of kids got sick these days. I'm just here for refill.”

Her doctor wrote something on her records. “You can always tell me anything. This is your safe place. Well, if you’re hesitant, you can write it first. We’ll talk about it when you're ready. For now, you can take your anxiolytics at same dosage. And don’t forget blah blah blah blah.”

Aiko was no longer listening.

“Carmi, is…there such thing as collective schizophrenia?”

“What made you ask?” The doctor was quick to respond.

“When your senses are inconsistent with reality, isn’t that schizophrenia?"

The doctor slightly nodded, it's like waiting for Aiko to take the bait so she could trap her in the cage.

Aiko tucked her hair behind her ear. “I just had the same lecture in school but then I forgot to ask the professor. I was just wondering what if there’s more than one person experiencing the hallucinations, isn’t that collective schizophrenia? Can that happen?”

“Shared psychosis. That’s what it’s called. It is rare and usually happens to people in closed relationship.”

Aiko nodded. “Oh." She paused to think. "Can I go now?”

The doctor stood from her chair and sat next to her but didn’t touch her. She knew Aiko didn’t like to be touched by her.

“If you’re experiencing anything that bothers you. Something that makes you doubt the reality, I am here to listen.”

And you’ll diagnose me as schizophrenic? Aiko answered sarcastically in her mind.

“Don’t worry, Carmi. It’s just a subject in school.” She defended.

She walked out of the doctor’s office in deep thoughts.

What is reality anyway? Do we really share the same reality? What if my perceived reality is different from yours, does that make me the sick one?