CHAPTER 12

AVA

The night air was cool, with the moon casting a silvery glow across the landscape, reflecting off the surface of the lake. As I made my way toward it, my thoughts wandered to everything that had happened between Derek and me.

 I couldn’t help but blush, remembering the way he had held me, kissed me, and said things I had never dared hope to hear.

For the first time in my life, I felt like I was stepping into the light. The alpha’s offer to give me a job had been the best gift I could ever ask for. It wasn’t just about the task itself—it was about being seen, being heard.

 I had always hidden in the shadows, afraid of what others might think, ashamed of my twisted spine, my weakness. But now, I had a chance to be out in the world, to let people see me as I was, not as a fragile, broken thing to pity.

It was liberating in a way I had never experienced before. Even my wolf seemed to rejoice in the freedom. She had always wanted to be out in the open, to run and feel the wind on her fur, to live fully.

As I walked, I thought about my bold request to Derek—the one week together. It felt reckless now, daring even. I had never been this confident, but I didn’t regret it.

 I had been denied love all my life, and I just wanted to feel something. I knew deep down that it would all end in a week, that Derek would eventually go to his bonded mate, but for now, I wanted to savor every moment.

I wasn’t sure if he could ever love me fully, but I knew I would never feel this way again, and that was enough.

The soft rustle of the leaves in the wind made me pause. I was getting closer to the lake, and I still hadn’t spotted Derek. 

Looking across the water, my gaze fell on a small cave on the other side. It looked like a perfect spot to wait for him. My wolf was already urging me to make the journey.

“Let’s run,” she urged, her excitement infectious.

I stripped off my clothes and folded them carefully before letting her take over. The shift was smooth, and soon, I was bounding across the ground in my white wolf form, feeling the earth beneath my paws, the air cool and refreshing as it whipped through my fur. It was pure freedom.

“We need to mate with him,” my wolf said suddenly, her tone insistent, more forceful than before.

I sighed inwardly. “It’s not that simple,” I replied. “We’re not mating until we’re both ready. You know that.”

She huffed, clearly irritated with me, but I didn’t care. I had a plan in my head, and I wasn’t going to rush into anything. We needed to take this slow, to make sure it was the right thing for both of us.

As I reached the cave, I paused, taking in my surroundings. The quiet was almost eerie, but it felt comforting, a private space where I could think, away from the watchful eyes of the pack. My wolf wanted to run, but I held her back. We needed to be calm, to collect our thoughts.

Suddenly, I heard the sound of footsteps approaching from behind. My heart skipped a beat, and I knew immediately it was Derek. I didn’t need to see him to know it was him—his scent filled the air, rich and intoxicating, pulling me in.

Derek appeared in the entrance of the cave, his figure tall and imposing in the moonlight. The way the light danced around him, the shadow of the trees framing him—it was like something out of a dream. He was perfect in that moment, his dark eyes catching mine, and everything inside me stilled.

“So this is where you’ve been hiding,” he said, his voice low and teasing, but there was something else in it—something deeper, more vulnerable.

I tried to take control again, but my wolf wasn’t having it. She trotted toward him, wagging her tail, her eyes shining. 

Derek knelt down, and I felt a surge of possessiveness and desire as his hand stroked her fur. She let out a soft whine, leaning into him, and I couldn’t help but roll my eyes.

“Are you flirting with him now?” I muttered, my voice full of irritation. She was actually better at it than me .

But my wolf wasn’t listening. She was too busy basking in Derek’s touch, her tail swishing happily.

“You’re a very pretty wolf,” Derek said softly, his voice filled with admiration. “You’re so unique…”

“I never thought I’d say this about a wolf, but you’re incredible,” he added, his hand still gently stroking her.

Then his tone shifted, becoming more serious. “Ava, I know you can hear me. Even though you’re in wolf form, I know you can understand. I’ve been wanting to say this for a while... If things were different, I would have chosen you. 

If I didn’t have this responsibility as the future alpha, if I wasn’t bound by duty, I would have run away with you. I would have taken you far away from all of this.”

I felt a strange flutter in my chest, something bittersweet. For a moment, it felt like he was truly seeing me, not as the broken girl from the past but as someone worth choosing.

“I know your life has been hard, and I’ve added to that,” Derek continued, his voice thick with emotion. “But this isn’t what I want. It’s just the way things are. I’m bound by my duty, and I have to do what’s expected of me.”

I didn’t realize I had shifted back until I felt the cool air against my bare skin. My head was resting on his lap, and though I was exposed, vulnerable in every way, I didn’t feel afraid. 

I felt safe, cherished. Derek’s hand was gentle in my hair, and I could feel his sorrow, his regret, and his longing.

“Ava,” he whispered. “I need to be with you. All of you. I feel like I’ll be miserable if I don’t. It’s a risk I’m willing to take if you are too.”

His words were a promise and a plea, and in that moment, I realized how much he cared. Maybe things weren’t perfect, but for tonight, they didn’t need to be. We could be together, just the two of us, without the weight of the world pressing down on us.

“I wish it could be easy,” he said, almost to himself. “But it isn’t. It never has been.”

He reached into his bag, pulling out a small package. “This is a condom,” he explained, his voice quiet, almost shy , which was actually weird because the Derek I know is not usually shy . “It’s used to prevent a full mating bond from being completed.

Derek stood, offering me a set of clothes. “I thought you might need these,” he said, a hint of a smile tugging at his lips. “Also, I brought some food. Thought we could have a picnic, talk… just be together for a while.”

I couldn’t help but blush, touched by his care and the effort he had put into making this moment feel special. The food, the drinks, the fact that he had thought of everything—it was more than I had ever expected from anyone.

For the first time in my life, I felt like I was truly seen. And maybe, just maybe, this risk was worth taking.