Chapter Four

Aunt Carol. I didn’t want to wake you from your seeming peaceful sleep so instead I’m writing you this note. I have somewhere I need to be so you won’t be seeing me at home when you wake up. Don’t worry about me, I’ll be back before evening. Here’s my phone number just in case.

-Alex.

It was barely 7am when Alex left the house.

His aunt had returned home late the previous night and had simply gone to bed. Partially because he didn’t want to wake her and cause he couldn’t face her and lie to her, he left a note for her on the table in the living room.

He was dressed in dark jeans with a white hoodie and a black t-shirt underneath. His unwashed hair was covered in the hood of his hoodie, the pride flag he picked from the trashcan laying in his pocket.

From the flyer, he knew he needed to take a train to get to where the pride parade was going to be starting. To get there as early as possible, he left home as early as he could and boarded the train to leave.

After close to two hours of riding, he finally got to his destination. He got off the train and almost immediately was welcomed by the cheers and different colors of the rainbow getting waved in the air.

He exhaled as he walked towards the crowd. It was a spectacular sight with dozens of people roaming the streets to take pride in who they were. By the sides, there were booths having literally everything from foods to clothing with a touch of the rainbow to them.

His steps slowed down as he walked further into the crowd. The people all seemed to be having fun, raising flags, banners and showing off their glamorous outfits. Suddenly feeling self conscious as he seemed like the odd one out dressed in just a white hoodie, he attempted to hide his face with the hood.

Everyone seemed to be in pairs- either with a friend, a partner or even a LGBTQ item. He hesitated for a while then took out the little flag shoved down his pocket and held it.

“Hey there!”

He turned to meet an obvious dragqueen referring to him.

“Me?” he asked, pointing at himself, almost stuttering.

“Yes, you,” Alex almost gulped as the dragqueen walked towards him. “Your outfit. It’s a bit plain, don’t you think?”

“Oh,” he looked at his plain white hoodie in comparism to the glamorous outfits everyone around him seemed to have on. “I guess.”

“Do you mind getting splattered?” he was replied to with a smile. “With paint. Your hoodie’s white so it’ll be gorgeous.”

He looked up to see a couple holding different colours of paint buckets and a light brush. They smiled at him in obvious anticipation of his positive answer.

“Yes,” Alex nodded, excitedly, surprising himself. “I’d love to.”

“YES!” their squeals were overly excited as they moved closer to Alex to splatter paint in the different colours of the rainbow on his hoodie. In barely two minutes, his hoodie looked extremely colourful and Alex couldn’t believe how excited it made him feel.

Bowing in gratitude to them, he quickly resumed walking suddenly feeling very among. He raised his flag and in no time, began dancing to the numerous tunes coming from the crowd.

He had almost gotten completely lost in the moment until he bumped into someone, immediately pulling him out of his momentary trance.

“Oh my God,” he let out as he felt himself almost fall. To his relief, he quickly felt arms wrapped around his waist, immediately saving him from a dreadful fall. “I’m so sorry.”

He let out an exhale feeling the grip around his waist tighten, allowing him to regain his balance. He exhaled again and looked up to see who was courtesy of him not falling to the ground.

“Oh,” he let out as he realized his hands were wrapped around the stranger’s neck. They were so close to each other and it seemed like though he saved him from falling, he was leaning to fall on him himself. “Um, thank you.”

He quickly unwrapped his arms away from the stranger’s neck and got on his feet the moment he felt him unwrap his arms away from his waist. “Sorry.”

Alex looked up to meet the stranger who seemed just as flustered as he was. It was a guy, taller than him with obviously strong arms. “Uh, oh, it’s no biggie.”

As he spoke, Alex couldn’t help but stare at his lips as they moved to form the words. They were pink and the highlight of his face followed by his flushed colored cheeks.

Alex nodded at him in response then looked away. It didn’t last long though as his gaze returned to him the moment he heard him speak again.

“Um,” he voiced out, Alex attention’s completely shifting to him. He licked his lips then ran his hands through his hair before shoving the hands into his hoodie’s pocket. Just like him, Alex noticed he was putting on a hoodie, his a dark almost black color.

“Yeah?”

“Are,” he took his hands out of his pocket to run them around his hair. He had long obviously dyed hair as the roots were beginning to rebel, that seemed like they needed a trim but still looked good regardless. “Are you okay?”

He swallowed as he asked the question, Alex watching his Adam’s apple bobble as he did. His eyes trailed down his neck as he noticed he had a silver necklace on. The pendant, if it had any, seemed to be buried down into his hoodie and Alex had to fight the urge to lean forward to peek at it.

“Yes, I’m okay,” Alex finally said after a while of realizing he had been doing too much staring. “I am. Thank you.”

“Well that’s great,” he said, the corner of his lips stretching into a smile. “Well, I’m Sebastian. And you?”

His smile widened as he introduced himself, birthing beautiful cheekbones and lightening up the most gorgeous set of blue eyes Alex had ever laid his eyes on. “Blue.”

“What?”

“What?” Alex immediately looked up to a confused looking guy.

“Your name’s Blue?” he confirmed.

“Oh, that,” realization finally hit Alex. “Yes, it is. Blue, that’s my name.”

“Nice meeting you then, Blue.”

“Same here,” Alex finally smiled at him. “Sebastian.”

“You can just call me Seb.”

“Okay, Seb.”

“So,” Seb spoke up as they resumed walking next to each other. “How’s it going?”

“What?” Alex looked at him briefly. “Oh, you mean the parade? Fine, I guess. It’s going okay.”

“Is this your first parade?”

“Uh, yes,” Alex nodded. “How about you?”

“Yeah mine too,” he also nodded.

Silence fell between them for a while as they both did nothing but walk.

“Um,” Sebastian said after a while, stopping to face Alex. “Do you want to maybe, get out of here?”

“Get out of here?” Alex asked, wide-eyed.

“Not exactly get out,” Seb ran his hand through his hair and groaned. “Just like, take a break to grab a bite or something just to you know, spend some time- oh no, it’s kinda getting sunny so maybe just to-”

“Sure,” Alex cut him off then broke into a smile. “I’d love to.”

“Great!” Seb exclaimed. “Um, I mean, that’s great. Ah, I saw an icecream store on my way here. It’s not so far so we should be able to walk there.”

They walked to the ice cream store in an awkward silence and true to Sebastian’s words, it wasn’t far as they got there in only a couple of minutes.

“Welcome!” they were greeted by the cheerful waitress as they stepped into the store. “This way.”

“What’s your favourite ice cream flavour?” Seb asked as they walked towards the counter.

“Might sound a bit basic,” Alex laughed a little as he replied. “But it’s vanilla.”

“That’s not all that basic,” Seb laughed too. “Mine’s chocolate.”

“I guess we are both very basic.”

“Yes we are,” Seb smiled at him then faced the waitress. “One vanilla and one chocolate.”

“Oh are you a couple?” the waitress grinned at them. “You get a discount if you are.”

“Oh, no-”

“Yes we are!” Alex heard Seb cut him off to say. He smiled at the waitress then turned to face Alex then held his hand in his.

Alex felt himself freeze as Seb wrapped his hands around his, a warmth circling his hands and slowly, his whole body.

He uttered no words as they both stood by the counter waiting for their ice creams.

"Here," Seb finally let go of his hands to hand him his ice cream. "Your vanilla flavored ice cream."

"Oh," Alex muttered, replacing the warm feeling Seb's hands left with the cold one the ice cream cup brought along. "Thank you."

"What was that?" Alex said as they both took seats in the store. "We're not-"

"Oh you mean that?" Seb seemed relaxed. "A little discount doesn't hurt, does it?"

"Of course it doesn't," Alex let out a nervous chuckle and took a bite of his ice cream. "Of course."

Again, silence fell between them as they both took bites of their ice cream. Alex stared at Seb as he sent scoops of his flavored ice cream down his throat. It was crazy how few hours ago he didn't imagine he'd be at the parade not to imagine having ice cream with a boy who couldn't deny, he found very attractive.

"Blue? Do you have a lot on your mind?"

Alex looked up to Seb staring at him. He had finished his ice cream and had resorted to watching him.

"Something like that," Alex's honesty took him by surprise.

"Me too," Seb managed a smile. "We seem to awfully have a lot in common."

“And I don’t know if that’s a good thing,” Alex said, hoping they only truly had things in common as it seemed on the surface. He was far from anyone’s dream and his life was taking a drastic turn. He might not have known Sebastian for long but he was sure he wanted him to have a better life.

“Do you have a lot of time on your hands?”

“I guess,” Alex leaned forward to reply Sebastian. “Why?”

“It’d be a shame if we both allowed this opportunity slip through our hands,” Sebastian replied. “You have things on your mind and so do I. If left alone we’d probably both just get lost in our thoughts so why not let’s go have fun?”

“Fun? What do you have in mind?”

“Hit a couple of malls?” Seb’s face lit up. “Play games- videogames, anyone. Go bowling, hit the karaoke, try different snacks- the possibilities are endless!”

It truly did seem endless. Alex smiled at the thought, wondering if the universe was truly just interested in making his last days memorable.

He met Seb’s blue eyes that twinkled as he expected an answer. He seemed very excited at the thought and was failing to hide his true feelings.

“Alright. I’m in!.”

It had to be the most fun Alex had had since forever. Seb was an extremely fun party animal that just needed a push to bring out that side out him.

They visited arcades and played numerous games- Alex managing to beat Seb almost every time. It was exciting and frustrating to both of them as Seb swore Alex cheated every time and Alex just couldn't stop explaining they were his first times playing.

By the time they reached the bowling alley, they had both finally

They reached the peak of their frustration at the bowling alley. Both their attempts to bowl were epic failures as neither of them seemed to be able to get a grip of the ball. After several failed attempts, they gave up and concluded bowling simply wasn't for them.

They hit the karaoke next, both glad at their similar tastes in music. After screaming their lungs out, they found a nearby restaurant and had mouth watering dishes they had never had before.

"I wouldn't be exaggerating if I say this is the most fun I've had in my entire life!"

"Me too," Alex agreed with Seb as they walked out of the restaurant where they had both just been served another amazing delicacy.

He really wasn't exaggerating. He was happy. Sincerely happy and he couldn't remember the last time he felt that way in years. Even if it was just for the moment, his mind felt as ease and he didn't remember anything that troubled him.

"When's your curfew?"

"Curfew?" Alex laughed at Seb. "What am i? A prisoner?"

"Alright then," Seb nodded. "Um, let's see. It's few minutes past 4. We can still spare about two hours."

"What for?"

“We concluded we were going to be enjoying the day to the fullest, right?” Seb confirmed, Alex nodding. “Let’s go to cinema then.”

“I’m not even a movie person.”

“Bills on whoever loses,” Seb wasn’t giving Alex a choice. “Rock, paper, scissors!”

“Ha!” Alex exclaimed in victory. “Lead the way, loser!”

“Thought you weren’t a movie person.”

“Don’t try to run away from your duties.”

They found a nearby cinema and luckily, they had just started showing a movie few minutes ago. They rushed into the room and took seats farthest from the screen and placed the single large bucket of popcorn Sebastian had gotten in between them. By their sides, were their individual bottles of coke, paid for by Alex as his little way of relieving Seb’s pain of footing majority of the bills.

Their attentions were fixed on the movie for the first hour until they both began to brush their hands against each other as they reached for popcorn. It was awkward at first but as the bumps became more frequent, they both simply allowed their fingers curl around each other and remained in that position till the end of the movie.

The movie finally ended and as they both got up alongside the dozens of people in cinema, they realized they had both abandoned their popcorn after a while as their hands got busy feeling the warmth of each other’s. Letting out a nervous chuckle, Alex grabbed the bucket of unfinished popcorn and contemplated on what to do with it.

"Should we just throw it away?" Seb suggested on noticing Alex's confusion.

"Should we?" Alex asked. "It'd be a shame though. Here, at least have some more."

He dug his hands into the popcorn and shoved it into Seb's mouth taking him by surprise. They both froze at his unexpected gesture, unable to do anything.

"Okay I should throw it away," Alex quickly broke free and tossed it into the trashcan. "There."

Seb smiled at him in response then chewed the last bits of popcorn in his mouth. "Let's go."

They stepped outside the cinema, both realizing it was already getting dark. They had both lost track of time completely and had forgotten they still had a long way to go to go back home.

"Do you stay around here?" Seb turned to ask Alex after walking for a while.

"No, I'll take the train back home," Alex replied him. "How about you?"

"Same," Seb smiled at him. "Oh, look. The train's here. Let's go."

They both quickly got into the train and took seats next to each other. In a few minutes, the train roared to life and began the journey.

Alex checked the time on his phone and began fidgeting. In barely an hour, he was going to return home and it was finally dawning upon him. He had had enough fun for the day and had to return to his old life to start a new one in a few days.

He looked at Seb who seemed just as lost in thought, gazing out of the window. Never had he imagined he’d find someone like him in such a short time. Someone he immediately fancied and someone he wouldn’t have minded being with if only they had met under different circumstances.

If only he had met him earlier when he still had a little more confidence in himself. When he wasn’t ready and determined to push that version of him away and never allow it resurface.

Too lost in his gaze at Sebastian, he couldn’t bring himself to look away even when he turned and locked eyes with him. Sebastian blinked a couple of times and in no time, found himself just as lost in his eyes.

“It was really nice meeting you,” Alex said almost in a whisper but loud enough for Sebastian to here.

“Same here,” Sebastian replied and broke the eye contact for a while. He leaned forward to take Alex’s hands in his and wrapped his around it then placed it in his lap. “It was really really nice meeting you too. I’m really glad I decided to attend the parade today.”

Alex’s hands squeezed around Seb’s, still in Seb’s lap, the warmth from their hands together colliding with the heat from Seb’s lap creating a feeling that sent jolts down Alex’s spine. He could feel goosebumps making their way through his skin with every second that passed with him and Sebastian still staring at each other.

He wasn't the only one that felt it. Sebastian leaned forward, not breaking eye contact and literally swallowed. He watched Alex watch him with keen interest as he moved closer towards him.

He slowly unclasped his right hand from Alex's and placed it on his lap. Watching Alex almost flinch as he placed his hand on his lap, he curled his fingers and rubbed them in a circular motion around his thigh.

"Blue," Seb whispered then leaned even closer towards Alex. The space between them was only getting shorter as they both began to lean forward, replacing the distance between them with their breaths. They both exhaled and breathed slowly, their breaths hitting their skin and like it was magic, prompting both of them to close their eyes simultaneously.

Sebastian's hands moved to the back of Alex's neck and was about to serve as a guide when they both heard Alex's phone ring.

"Oh my God, I'm," Alex breathed out as he pulled away from Seb. "I'm sorry, i-"

"What? Don't be," Sebastian said then looked away.

"I have to go now," Alex said as he took out his phone. He had a call from an unknown number and he could already guess it was his aunt. "Oh, I'm getting off here."

"What? Wait," Seb held Alex's hand as he got up. "Already?"

"Yes," Alex stared at Seb's hand on his. "I have to get off now."

"How bout- Um when will I get to see you again?" Seb joined him on his feet. "Can I have your number, at least?"

"Oh, no," Alex freed himself from Seb's grip. "My phone's broken at the moment so I don't really have a number to give you."

"Oh," the disappointment was evident in Seb's voice as he spoke. "Your I*******m then? Or Snapchat?"

"I don't use I*******m," Alex felt his stomach churn as he lied. “Or Snapchat."

"Oh," the disappointment had finally spread to Seb's eyes as they finally lost their shine. "What then? Won't I ever get to see you again? Or talk to you?."

"Maybe," Alex replied. "Look, I really have to go now okay?"

"Come on Blue, I really do want to see you again."

Alex managed to smile at him, unable to say the same. In response, he simply said, "Good night."

Seb's shoulders fell as he let out an exhale.

"You too. Good night, Blue."