001: Delivered.

Emerson stared at the plate in front of him, his fork hovering just above the food. Shit! There it was again—cucumber and onion, together on the same dish. 'Who, in their right mind, thought that was a good idea?'

He slammed his fork down, irritation piled up in his gut.

"Is this a joke? Onions and cucumbers, in the same dish?" he barked, glaring at the new cook. She’d been here for two whole days, and somehow, that was enough time for her to screw up something as basic as his dinner.

"I… I didn’t know you didn’t eat cucumbers or onions," she stammered, her eyes wide and apologetic.

"Of course, I don’t eat cucumbers. Why would I eat something that tastes like wet cardboard?" Emerson snapped.

The cook blinked in confusion. She looked between the plate and him. "But... what’s wrong with cucumbers?"

A heavy silence fell over the kitchen. Every cook and cleaner stopped what they were doing, and Emerson could almost hear their collective gasp. She’d just made a rookie mistake by asking that question.

'Well, let them watch.'

"Of course not. I don’t eat cucumbers," Emerson said flatly. "And you’ve never even bothered to check my meal preferences, have you?"

Her face flushed bright red. "I’m sorry, I didn’t know! I just started today."

"I don’t care," Emerson said with a dismissive flick of his wrist. "You’re fired. Now go."

He watched her stumble back, muttering under her breath about how she didn’t deserve this, as she hurried out of the kitchen.

A few cooks exchanged glances, trying to be discreet, but it was obvious they were all watching to see if the new cook would cry. It didn’t matter to Emerson. He wasn’t here for their opinions.

One of the cleaners, a short guy with a buzz cut, whispered to another, "You know, he’s a little intense, huh?"

Emerson didn’t even look up, but he could hear a response. "Yeah, but at least he’s not picky. Just don’t put cucumbers on his damn plate and you’ll be fine."

He chuckled under his breath. 'At least they’re figuring it out.'

His phone buzzed, pulling his attention away from the chatter. 'Raven. Great.'

Emerson picked up the phone without even looking at the screen. "You alive?"

“Amazing you’re still talking to me," Raven’s voice boomed through the speaker. "I’ve been gone for three months. And, by the way, I wasn’t vacationing in the mountains. I was getting holy water and prayers. That’s a sacred journey, my friend.”

Emerson sighed tiredly, sipping his coffee. “Yeah, yeah. You’ve been blessed by monks. I’ve heard the spiel.”

“Oh, come on. You know it works,” Raven insisted, his voice suddenly serious. “They did something that’s—”

“Okay, okay, I don’t need the details. You went to the mountains. You got your monk blessing. Great,” Emerson interrupted, trying his best to cut him off.

“Don’t act like you don’t care,” Raven teased. “You miss me. Three months of silence, and this is how you greet me? I thought we were like brothers.”

“Don’t get all sentimental on me,” Emerson muttered, rolling his eyes even though Raven couldn’t see it. “I’ve been just fine without you around.”

Raven laughed loud enough that Emerson had to pull the phone away from his ear for a moment.

“Really? I was gone for three months, and that’s the welcome I get?”

“Yeah,” Emerson said, flipping through a random magazine. “You’ve been MIA. I don’t have time to miss you.”

There was a pause on the other end, and then Raven spoke up again, his tone quieter. “I’m sorry, alright? It’s just... things up there... they get complicated. You wouldn’t understand.”

Emerson had a vague idea of what was going on in Raven’s life, and he knew it wasn’t pretty. But it was one of the reasons he still considered Raven a close friend.

He sighed. “Nope. I don’t get the whole monk thing, and I don’t need to. But it’s good you’re back. Even if I didn’t miss you.”

Raven snorted. “Right. So, what’s going on with you? Any new business stuff? Wild parties?”

"Business as usual," Emerson muttered, setting his mug down on the counter with a quiet clink.

“Okay. Well, you won’t believe this, but we’ve got a delivery at the office—”

“Wait,” Emerson interrupted. “Delivery?”

Raven’s voice took on an oddly serious tone. “Yeah. A robot. A full-on robot. It’s standing in your office right now. Delivered and everything.”

Emerson raised a brow. His hand was still in midair as he tried to process what Raven had just said. “Wait. A robot? You’re telling me there’s a robot in my office? And you didn’t... who dropped it off?”

Raven paused for a beat, like he was savoring Emerson’s confusion. Then, with a hint of laughter creeping into his voice, he added, “Yeah. Some kid… you remember the one we interviewed a week before I left? The one who didn’t even finish high school? He sent it over.”

Emerson felt his stomach drop. “You’re telling me this kid sent a robot to my office? The one who couldn’t even graduate, and now he thinks he can... what, sell me a damn robot?”

“That’s basically it,” Raven replied casually. "I figured I’d warn you before you see it for yourself. Oh, and by the way, it’s a... sex bot."

Emerson’s brain short-circuited for a moment. He stared blankly at the wall, unsure whether he was hallucinating. "A sex bot?” His voice came out strange. “This... this kid made a sex robot and sent it to my office?"

“Yep,” Raven said, as if it was the most normal thing in the world. “Apparently, it’s supposed to improve 'your productivity' or something. The kid’s got big dreams, but I think he’s just trying to get into the tech market.”

Emerson rubbed his temples. Godforsaken headache. "This kid has to be out of his mind. Did you even ask him why he sent it to me, even after I told him not to contact me anymore?"

“I did, but the kid was like, ‘It’s a demo model,’” Raven replied, oddly entertained. “He’s all, ‘I thought maybe you’d invest.’ I don’t know, man.”

“I’m not in the market for a sex robot,” Emerson growled. “What the hell is wrong with people?”

Raven chuckled. "Look, I get it. It’s weird. But it’s there. Just go check it out. Worst-case scenario, you send it back.”

Emerson ended the call abruptly, staring down at his phone as if it might explode. A sexbot? In his office? This was beyond stupid.

But, of course, it was just his fucking luck.