CHAPTER 1: I LIVE AGAIN TO SEE YOU

Chelsea’s POV

[rain pouring out heavily]

The weather probably knows what I am feeling right now. It conceals the tears that come out of my eyes.

“I missed you, Dale” I whispered.

I'm sure he heard me, or he's only an inch away from me. I'm still thinking about him.

I visited him every day for days after he was buried, simply to cry in front of his grave, trying to soothe the agony. I'm at a loss for how to divert my attention. How can I ever get past this?

I turned to face the ground and felt the rain pour down on me, competing with my tears.

[sobbing]

Huh? The rain stopped?

No. It didn't, but I couldn't feel it any longer. I lift my head and see an umbrella on me, and as I glance back, I see this lovely lady holding it for me. Her beauty had taken my breath away. She was dressed entirely in black, which made her glow, but it was her eyes that drew my attention.

Why do those eyes appear so sorrowful and agonized?

I'm not sure, but there's something incredibly familiar about her that I can't put my finger on.

She's looking me in the eyes, and I'm not sure what she's thinking or what her gaze says at the time.

“Why are you… crying?” I gently asked.

I am completely stunned when she just suddenly cried while gazing at me. Why do I have this concerned feeling??

[gasp]

She just suddenly hugs me!! What the--- My jaw just dropped!

“I missed you” she faintly said.

“W-What?!” okay, I heard it clearly but I am completely confused right now and I want her to repeat what she just said for me to confirm it.

She looks astonished after realizing she said something bizarre, and so do I.  

“Oh! Oh, I’m sorry! I… I just missed someone who looks a lot like you” a smile painted on her lips while saying the last words.“Oh… is that so…” she must be in pain too, “by the way… what are you doing here?” I asked.

Oh gosh! Could she be someone related to Dale? An ex-girlfriend??? or maybe he’s having an affair---

“I was just visiting someone and then I saw you so…” she explained.  My thought shortened and I just realize I am so stupid to think that. I know Dale will never do such things.

“Oh, Uhm you shouldn’t bother though but thank you so much for the concern. I thought you were someone related to Dale” I forced a smile.

“Is he… your boyfriend?” she asked referring to Dale.

“My fiancée” just saying those words makes me happy. The thought of it makes me smile.

“You must have loved him so much,” she said.

“A lot…” a gentle smile formed on my lips, “I want to spend the rest of my life with him but… he’s gone now” and that smile fades instantly.  

“I’m sorry”

“Don’t be. I will continue loving him even if he’s not physically here because I always carry his love with me”

“I love you, too, so much” she suddenly stated.

“What?” did I hear it wrong again??

“That’s what Dale will tell you if he’s still… living,” she said without a change of emotion.

It's strange that I feel at ease chatting with her as if we've known each other for a long time. We have a connection, but I can't quite put my finger on what it is. I'd never had an unforeseen interaction such as this before.

“I think I should go,” she said while closing her umbrella.

I nodded my head and smile at her but she didn’t even smile back.

I watch her walk away. She’s something. Those eyes and emotions were sad, I can tell.

I wonder what she’s going through and I even forgot to ask her name.

She helped me lessen the burden by being able to bring up a conversation about it. I feel aided a lot.

Dale’s POV

I didn’t anticipate it to be that hard. I thought I could make it today but here I am crying and walking away because I can’t manage to stay long looking at her in anguish. I can’t keep pretending any longer.

It was hard not to burst out my emotion, to not embrace her longer or perhaps kiss her.

Grr! How will I even do that if I am inside this woman’s body?? And seriously lord?? My ex-girlfriend?? Of all the people that I can reincarnate, you chose my ex-girlfriend??

Why?? I could have reincarnated to a man so it would not appear weird telling Chelsea I am her fiancée but this?? How will she supposed to believe me when I tell her that I am Dale? This is absurd!!

[sigh]

At least I finally got near and talk to her. It took me a while to do that because first, I have to learn how to be a woman! I mean, what stuff does they do with their body and whatever it is, it was not easy. The awkward part is... you know I… of course I saw every part of this body. It’s not like I haven’t seen one before, it’s just weird living with it.

The second reason is, I don’t know how to tell her or how I should tell her. Every day, I tried, but I became a coward after overthinking rather than trying. It terrified me that she wasn't going to believe me, so I would surreptitiously watch and follow her to ensure she was okay. What I wasn't expecting was seeing her weeping right in front of my grave every single day while communicating to me. She would sometimes fall asleep and I’m just in the corner guarding her.

I didn't go home yet; instead, I hid and waited for Chelsea to depart so that I could send her home... by following her. It’s the same thing, right?

She drives slowly, very cautious.

It made me reminisce.

I recall one occasion when I was too drunk to get behind the wheel, so she came running to pick me up. I was heavy and couldn't remember how she carried me. I was so drunk that I puked on her, and I know she was outraged but her patience with me is something I will always admire. She sat me in the back seat and made sure I was comfortable, but then she abruptly takes off her clothing to change since I, her lover, puked on her.

Well, she was confident that I was knocked out, but I wasn't, and I was already turned on by her exquisite figure. I believe I became sober very immediately. It was the first time I saw her shirtless, and she was just enticingly hot. When she realized I was staring at her, she panicked and tried to cover her body, but wicked me grabbed her and kissed her.

She was agitated and tried to push me but I didn’t let go until she stops and kissed me back.

Nothing happened afterwards because I was knocked out. I left her hanging and the next day she was mad about it. All I did was laugh and adore her being sulky.  

[smiles]

I desperately want to do that stuff with her again. I longed to stroke her hair while she slept on my lap. I want to kiss her on the forehead and then hug her afterward. I want to tell her that she looks her best when she smiles and that I should be the reason she's happy. I wanted to kiss her every sunrise and sunset with her while we sat on the beach. I have a lot of plans for us. Too much that none of them will happen again.

[sobs]

I wish I have lived longer so she would not be suffering this way and I wouldn’t be inside a woman’s body right now.

I tailed her making sure she will not notice me until she stops in front of her house.

Why did she step out? Their gate is invariably opened by their helpers so they just have to wait for it. I keenly observe her until someone familiar appeared.

KEN??

What the f*ck is he doing here?? To Chelsea’s house?

That bastard even put her jacket on Chelsea!!! Okay, I understand that she’s soaked in the rain but he should not do that!! Is he trying to flirt with my fiancée?? That scumbag!!

I think I can kill a person right now!! He’s getting on my nerves! Don’t he dare use my death as an opportunity to finally get my fiancée!! I swear I’m going to murder him once he betrays me! He’ll see!

I know he likes Chelsea even before I did but f*ck! I won! Chelsea chose me! Don’t he dare make a move and talk behind my back.

Grr!! I am jealous! That should be me taking care of her.

No one should be touching my girl. I don’t want her talking to a man. I just only want her, only mine.

I am not selfish, am I??

I have to stop them!

I got out of the car to grab them, but when I shut the door, I caught sight of my reflection and something smacked me. In this state, how could I be jealous and selfish? I wasn't there for her; in fact, I'm responsible for her grieving all day and night.

[sigh]

I hope the right time will come when I can finally embrace you and tell you that I came back, just as I promised.

“Hey”

[heart beats rapidly]

It’s Chelsea.

I rapidly looked at the person calling me and I saw Chelsea standing on my side with Ken’s jacket wrapped around her.

“Y-yes?” why am I stammering?? I can’t relax though especially since she caught me here.

“What are you doing here?” she asked nicely making she does not offend me. As is I will. She’s always considerate and soft-spoken.

“Oh! Is this where you live?? What a coincidence! We saw each other again!” lying to her is the hardest thing.

“Yeah. This is where I reside and… you?”

“Uhm… I think my car is… I mean something’s wrong with my car so I decided to pull over”

Whoa. I have to come up with a reason why she wouldn’t notice that I was stalking her and she seem to believe me though, hopefully.

“Do you need help?” she offered.

Should I say yes just so I can have time with her? I should probably accept it.

“Sure---”

“Chelsea” Ken called her, “is there a problem?” he added until his eyes turned to me.

“She might need our help. Her car is not working well what’s why she pulls over” Chelsea explained to Ken.

“Have we met before?” Ken suddenly asked, “I think I already saw you once I just can’t remember when”

He’s trying to examine me to remember something.

“Huh? Me? I don’t think so” I immediately answered. He must be familiar with Zae because she’s my ex-girlfriend.

Ken is my friend, not a close friend or a best friend, just a friend. We were classmates in high school when Zae used to be my girlfriend that’s why Ken and I knew each other.

“Maybe that was not you. What happened to your car?” he asked.

He walks towards my car and try to check every corner, “I can check on it if you want… but it will take long” he said.

Before I could speak, Chelsea holds my hand and speak, “Okay then, we can go inside while you wait”

“Of cou--- I mean, you will let me in?” I almost forgot I am a stranger to her.

“Yeah!” she smiled after her word.

She’s too kind. How can she just let a stranger in? What if someone just came here and asked for help and she help him but that was a trap??

“Change your clothes” I told her while we were walking towards their house.

She stopped and look at me. I got nervous when she gave me a surprised look.

“What did you say?”

Did I offend her? Sh*t! why did I say that??

“I’m sorry that’s not---”

“You reminded me of someone dear to me…”

Oh… I thought she was offended.

“He used to tell me the same thing…” sadness in her reflected in her face.

Just so you know, I am just here, in front of you, my love.

“Anyway, please take a seat” she offered me their couch. I missed visiting here. This is like my second home.

[Chelsea giggles]

“You’re even took his favorite spot and… sit exactly like him,” she said smiling.

“Did I?” I asked.

How can I even refrain from doing it? It would naturally come out and it’s too late for me to notice it. Chelsea is such a keen observer. I keep falling for her through a woman’s eyes.

“Could I offer you anything, coffee?” she asked.

“Sure” I simply answered and smile.

“Any preference?”

“A latte will do”

I drink any coffee but latte is my top preference. I looked at her when she’s not even moving and her brow furrowed.

“You know what--- never mind. I’ll just get you coffee” she said and leave.

I stood and walk around to see things I’d suddenly left. Chelsea’s family becomes my own family when I don’t have gone to mine. I saw the painting on the wall and it got me smile. Those were the ones I got from France during my travel and I gifted them to their family, ever since they put them in the same place.

“It’s nice, isn’t it?” Chelsea stood next to me carrying my coffee.

I look at the painting before responding to her, “It sure does”

“Here” she handed me the coffee and when I took it from her, our hands touched. It feels nice. I already miss the feeling of her touch.

“Thank you”

I took a sip of the coffee and I it’s a little too sweet, “hmm this is sweet”

“Don’t you like sweet?” she asked.

“No, but it’s fine,” I said.

“You’re pretty straightforward though” she paused for a while, “I haven’t asked for your name yet. I’m Chelsea Romero,” she said and smiled.

I could look at her for a long with those smiles on her face.

“I’m Aliyah Zae Garza. Just call me Zae” I smiled back.

“Pretty name just like you”

Should I be happy for the compliment? My ex sure looks good but the girl I’m looking at right now exceeded every woman I knew. 

“You know, it’s strange that I feel at ease since the moment I saw you earlier like for an instant, you healed me. I can’t explain what’s in you that makes me feel… unbroken”