Chapter Three: Chrysanthemums

Another day has passed and I had nothing to do but look for a job. Earlier I tried to apply to management to be an assistant but I was not accepted. I tried everywhere and it was already late in the afternoon and I was still not accepted into other jobs because the only reason was I don't have a college degree.

This is a big problem because I desperately need money to pay for my grandma's hospital bills, she was still confined there, she has diabetes so she needs lots of medications. She was so stubborn, I always told her to not eat sweet foods but she will just say that she will eat those foods while she was still alive and now those foods cause her diseases.

I was scratching my head while thinking about my problems in life. It was just annoying because it was too hard for me to find a job. I was looking at the sights here in the town and I noticed people lurking in front of a big building. There are cameramen and newscasters so I think they are waiting for some famous businessman to come out there. There were tall men in black shades who hurried into a fancy car because they were being attacked by reporters. I see and hear the cameras stuttering and flashing at them.

I ignored to look there and saw another building on the other side, I noticed a sign that they are hiring for an editor. I have a little bit of knowledge of editing so I might be accepted there. I entered the building and saw people working there coming out and I heard them talking about their jobs. I envy them that they have a good job unlike I still have a hard time finding one. I hastened to walk to reach the elevator and there were other guys inside. Two tall men were standing behind me. They look like businessmen because of their suits.

''You go home first and just buy food outside, remember he's not at home, no one will cook for our dinner,'' I heard the guy standing on the left side say while looking at his wristwatch.

''Sure, by the way, how was my presentation earlier?'' the other one asked. ''You nailed it,'' he was praised.

I looked at their reflection in the mirror inside. They look like siblings because they have the same face shape. As we waited to reach the top, I was surprised when the elevator suddenly shook a little for about five seconds and the guys behind were surprised too. The elevator didn't move so it looked like we were stuck there but luckily the light is still there. I tried to press the door open button but it didn't work.

''Sh*t these buttons aren't working!'' I complained.

''Let's wait for the elevator mechanics, they are coming to fix this,'' the guy in a light blue collared suit said.

''Just calm down miss nothing bad will happen to us here,'' the guy on a v-neck shirt reassured. Well, I'm not panicking, I was just worried because I might not be able to catch up with their hiring now.

''I'm okay, I'm just in a hurry because there might be a cut-off in the hiring here,'' I explained while fixing my buttons.

''Hmm..don't worry they will accept applicants until tomorrow,'' said the guy in a v-neck shirt and smiling at me. He seems nice like he is approachable.

''Okay. Umm..are you two working here?'' I asked while scratching my nape.

''Yes we are, by the way, I am Enzo and this is Alas,'' he introduced and smiled at me. I nodded and we were about to shake hands but I notice the guy named Alas was glaring at Enzo so he stopped. It was as if he was suddenly angry and Enzo covered his mouth. There was nothing wrong with what he did, he just introduced himself. 

Maybe Alas is overprotective because Enzo is his boyfriend. I wondered.

''No f*cking way!!'' they both shouted. I was shocked by their sudden shout so I backed away. I don't know what I did to make them shout at me. Did they hear my thoughts?

''Are you two okay? Is there a problem?'' I asked while raising my eyebrows. Enzo shake his head while Alas was looking at me seriously like he was annoyed by my presence. They are weird and I became more suspicious of them. Maybe they are in denial of their relationship.

Later on, the repairers arrived, so the elevator worked again, those guys went to the other floor so I was left alone. Finally, I reached the seventh floor so I entered the office of the employer. ''Hello, ma'am. What can we help you with?'' an office girl approached me.

''Umm... I'm about to apply here ma'am as an editor,'' I answered. ''Just enter that room miss. Ma'am Ofelia is our employer here,'' she added. ''Thank you,'' I proceeded to the room where she instructed me to enter. There I saw women on their desks doing some paper works.

''Good afternoon, I am Freeda Adelaina Miller an applicant for this company,'' I introduced myself. A blonde woman in a black skirt approached and she gazed at me. She was silent and I don't understand why she look at me reluctantly. I sniffed myself but I don't smell anything that stinks. Is there something wrong with me?

I held her my resume and she accepted it. She opened the folder while reading the documents in it. ''You're only a high school graduate. Do you have any experience in editing?'' she asked.

''Y-yes, I have experience in editing when I was a part of a journalism way back in high school,'' I answered.

''Hmm...a school program in journalism but I'm sorry we need some applicants who have a bachelor's degree in English, communication, or journalism. We can't accept some high school graduates because we are ensuring that we hire persons who have better capabilities in editing,'' she acknowledges.

''Umm. I might don't have a degree but I promise I will try my best to become a better editor, I have experience so I can do some basics,'' I begged, trying to please her to accept me.

''I can't assure you. If you just graduated from college you might be accepted,''  she clarified, returning the folder to me.

''A person can work even without a degree. Education should not be based but the ability and desire of a person in a certain field,'' I acquired. 

''Whatever you say Ms.Miller I can't do anything because that's the basis here but try to find non-required degree jobs you might be accepted there. I can only tell that you should finish college first so that you can work for big companies someday,'' she articulated.

''T-thank you,'' I said, I felt dismayed. ''Lastly, I am not degrading you. I just want to explain that education is very important so I hope you continue to study. You don't have to worry because you have many chances. Do not be afraid that others will get ahead of you. You have your timeline and own goals in life. So be better and I wish you all the best,'' she inspires, smiling at me.

I was about to thank her again but she walk away already and left me alone standing here in the office. I could do nothing but leave. I didn't take the elevator because it might get stuck again so I just went down the stairs. I slowly descended as I was stunned by the absence. I think of what Ma'am Ofelia told me and she was right that I had to finish my studies first. If I hadn't worked I would have been a second-year law student now. My dream is to become a prosecutor and I want to prosecute criminals to keep people from harm.

''They should be imprisoned. They are evil,'' I murmured when watching the news on the television with dad.

''We do not know the whole truth Freeda. So it will go through a long process to prove if they are guilty, sometimes some innocent people will be accused so there will be attorneys to defend them,'' Dad explained and I nodded.

''But it is better to imprison them Dad so that they will not do bad things to other people again,'' I said.

''Yes Freeda and aside from convicting criminals you should also learn to defend some innocent people, life is sometimes unfair Freeda. So to make it fair you should listen and understand both sides and try to solve the case by having empathy and diligence.'' Dad added.

I smiled when I remembered our conversation. Dad was a policeman before but he wanted to become an attorney but he chooses to serve in the police department instead. He was tasked to catch the criminals and one night he was killed in an operation. My smile fade away as I sat down the stairs.

That night was painful to remember.

That night they took my dad's life. Justice was done for his death but I could not understand why I was not happy. I feel like there seems to be something wrong with what happened. So until now, I have been figuring out the incident behind my father's death.

If only mom and dad were alive I wouldn't be suffering like this. If only I could change the past, I would love to change it, since then I've been dreaming of a perfect family. I'm jealous of other kids having their parents beside them but I'm lucky and happy enough that my grandmother is still alive so I'm not alone. I took the cap from my bag and put it back on my head. I continued walking down the stairs and when I got outside I noticed that the sky was dark. It was already evening and I just thought of walking home. I was walking here near the market and I saw someone selling flowers in the streets. There are some violet flowers and it was my grandma's favorite, so I will buy them to surprise her, I decided to go to visit her first in the hospital before going home.

"What flower is this?" I asked the florist, I took a piece of flower and smelled it. "It's a Chrysanthemum miss. Only one hundred fifty lei of each bouquet," the florist answered. I nodded while picking the violet Chrysanthemums.

"You can pick red Chrysanthemums miss. They said it symbolizes love," the florist suggested and I smiled.

"I remember what my grandma said that violet chrysanthemums symbolize recovery for a sick person so I'll buy this one," I said.

The woman took the flowers that I had chosen then she put them inside the basket. While waiting a tall man suddenly stood beside me and was also picking flowers. I noticed that he was wearing a blue coat and wearing a red scarf that covered his mouth. I also saw that he pick up some white Chrysanthemums and suddenly thought to suggest.

"As far as I can remember my grandma said that white chrysanthemums symbolize loyalty and honesty, am I right?" I said while picking a white flower and smelling it. He did not say a word and continued to take flowers. It's pretty embarrassing that I even spoke. I wasn't answered, I better just talk to the flowers maybe they'll respond.

"These white chrysanthemums are the flowers of death," this quiet man suddenly spoke. I looked at him as I smelled the flower I was holding. "Really? Flower of death?" I asked, confused. We look at each other and I was a bit shocked to see his face when he removed the scarf from his mouth.

I think I have already seen him before.

"This is the flower I offer to my dead parents," he said and his eyes are still on me. I had a strange feeling that I can't explain. I can also feel my heart was beating faster. Why is it like this?

''Have we met before?'' he asked, his glow-red eyes were lustrous. "Hmmm... I-It's good that you offer them f-flowers," I stuttered, changing the topic. I was sweating as the man still didn't take his gaze away from me. I'm just confused now because I seem to have met this man but I just can't remember where and when.

"I didn't expect to see you here," my eyes widened at what he said, I pretended like I didn’t hear anything. "Hmm... S-sorry. W-what did you say?'' I still stuttered and gulped.

When the woman gave me the flowers I bought, I immediately paid and did not make the change. I was in a hurry to leave there because I was uncomfortable with that man. My heart was pounding so I stopped on the side to breathe. As I stopped here near the diner, my phone suddenly rang and someone was calling whom I did not know.

"Hello? Who is this?" I asked breathlessly.

"Is this Freeda Adelaina Miller? We would like to inform you something and please prepare," said a woman on the other line. Her voice was serious like she was making me even more nervous.

"W-why? What happened?" I asked nervously, I was so curious and I don't know what was going on. 

"We want to convey to you this sad news. Please be strong. Your grandmother has passed away," she directly said.

After hearing that, it seemed like the world suddenly stop rotating. I hang up the phone and let go of the flowers I was carrying. I saw the white flowers fall to the ground and scattered everywhere. My tears suddenly flowed along with the blow of the wind and the sudden rain. I also have realized that I brought the wrong flowers, the flowers that were not mine.

The Flowers of Death.