It's passed 3 am, and here I am, staring at the ceiling of my room. How the hell I'm gonna sleep if the memories of him, kissing me inside that freaking elevator!
I turned to the other side of the bed then closed my eyes again. Trying hard to fall asleep, but failed. For the nth time, I faced back to the other side of the bed and shut my eyes tightly. But what he did in the elevator keeps coming back. I felt his lips touched mine. Then, I felt his hand moved to hold the hallow of my neck and nape to tilt my head little. My eyelids became so heavy for unknown reason, so I let them close. He suckled and bit my lower lip. I was about to kiss him back when I heard the elevator's sound, meaning it was about to open! Good thing he immediately pulled away before it opens. I was still shocked and breathless. Napakurapkurap ako what the hell happened?!Warning: R-18.Mataman lamang akong nakikinig habang ongoing ang aming acquisition meeting.Unlike yesterday, Ma'am Corine is present in this meeting. Read's presence is here too. First look at Ma'am Corine, you could easily tell that she's very sophisticated, knowledgable and a woman with principle. She's very strict and grumpy, her eyes were void of any emotion."It is part of the process for a story to be published is to have a blurb.." Sambit ni Sir Anton na siyang nagp-present sa harapan namin. Nasa gitna ako nila Jomarie at Rio. Si Elouise naman ay nasa gilid ni Sir Peter na nasa kabisera ng lamesa.Nakita ko ang pag sang-ayon ni Sir Peter sa sinabi ni Sir Anton sa harap, "That's why, we are again conducting a Blurb writing competition," nakangiting saad muli ni Sir Anton.
Para akong napaso ng mainit na kawali at mabilis pa sa alas kuwatrong lumayo kay Elouise!Ryll, what have you done! I crossed my arms over my chest to hide my bare breasts. Feeling ashamed of what happened earlier.I looked at the door. The door bell rang continously. Binalingan ko si Elouise nang mapansing hindi parin niya binubuksan ang pintuan. Nakakaawa naman iyong nasa labas no'ng pintuan, baka napudpod na daliri non kakapindot noong doorbell."What the hell are you doing? Open the door!" I hissed.Sa halip na buksan ang pinto, bumaba ang mga mata ni Elouise sa dibdib ko. Kaya sinamaan ko siya ng tingin."What the hell are you looking at?" ani ko dahil iritang irita na ako. 
"I am.. the reason behind my grandfather's death.." Memories of that day assaulted me.Almost six years had already passed but still, the guilt still lingers in me. I know it's not my entire fault however, my mind keeps on coming back on the biggest mistake I have done that day."Nand'yan na si Kuya Maru, Eris.." imporma ko kay Eris na nagce-cellphone doon sa gilid. He's tall and tan. Matangos ang ilong at naka clean cut ang buhok. Si Kuya Maru, ang pinsan kong galing ng Cebu na nagpasyang manirahan na rin sa rito sa Bulacan.Tumango s'ya sa akin, "Arat na?"Tumayo na ako at kinuha ang backpack ko, "Yep, libre na ni Kuya Maru pamasahe sa jeep."Umakbay sa akin si Eris, "Wow, galante ng pinsan mo ha!"
"Saan tayo pupunta?" tanong ko kay Elouise ng mapansin kong palabas na kami ng Manila.Saglit s'yang lumingon sa gawi ko. "It's a surprise," he smiled at me.Huminga ako ng malalim at sumandal nalang. Saan kaya ako dadalhin nito?Kinuha ko ang cellphone ko sa loob ng bag ko.Ryll:GAGO LAHAM KO KAYO TANDAAN NYO YAN HA.The girls respond immediately.Judy:???Eris:Bangag ka ba?Kimberly:Whut? laham din kita lodicakes.Tumawa ako sa reply nilang tatlo. Mga walang suporta! Elouise glance at me."Sila Eris 'yon." Imporma ko sakan'ya
We spent few more days at the hotel bago bumalik ng Manila. After that night, my unknown relationship with Elouise became better—no, maybe kind of. He thinks that I have already overcome my nightmares and trauma after he brought me in Antipolo but he's completely wrong.My nightmares became more severe each passing night. Palaging mayroong pumapatay sa akin sa panaginip ko. I always end up dying. Nightmares sucks.Ilang araw na akong walang tulog. At tuwing madaling araw, si Eris ang madalas kong binubulabog kagaya ngayong madaling-araw. I woke up because of nightmare. It's 2:17 in the early morning, and I can't help but to cry. I've been suffering with this for too long and nowadays it became a burden on my mental health big time. That's why I already planned something already in my head."E-Eris.." Hindi ko maiwasang mapahag
"Com'è la tua giornata?" How's your day?"I am fine, Doc." I smiled as I seat infront of When, my psychiatrist for almost 3 years now. Back then, I was diagnosed with Adjustment disorder with depressed mood. It was normally lasts within 6 months but can be prolonged like what have happened to me.On my first to fifth month of living here in Switzerland, everything was rough. Nahirapan akong mag-adjust sa environment at mag cope lalo na sa language nila. Buti na lang, Englisherist si Doc.But then, after months of studying and reading books, I can say that I learned — not everything tho. Hindi pa rin ako fluent.I feel so scared the first time I went to Dr. When's Psychiatric Clinic. How funny that I even thought that he's a pervert. I was wrong tho. He's handsome and so so gentle
PAULIT-ULIT kong binasa ang article na 'yon. Tumigil lang ako ng humapdi na ang mga mata ko. Hilam ang mga ito kaka-iyak sa hindi ko matukoy na dahilan.Dahil ba natutuwa ako na hindi na nagtatago sa likod ng pen name n'ya si Elouise? o dahil nasasaktan ako kasi.. ang posisyon ko dati sa tabi n'ya ay napalitan na ng iba?Tinuyo ko ang basa kong pisngi. This isn't worth my tears. Besides, I told him before not to wait for me. And what hurts the most is.. I tought, he would come to me like he used to do before. I thought he would find a way to follow me.. however, it didn't come.And it disappoints me until now.Pumasok ako sa loob ng banyo, para makapag half-bath muna at para na rin makapag hilamos.Nang makapag palit na rin ako ng pantulog ay
"Mukhang ginto ang presyo ng mga pagkain rito ah," bulong ko habang papasok kami sa loob.I simply looked around. As for our date, Rowhen brought me to a steak house here in Zurich. Mangha kong tiningnan ang kabuuan ng lugar. The whole place shouts luxuriousness and extravagance.When glanced at me, "What did you say?" tanong nito habang pumipili ng pagkain sa menu. Narinig niya pala ang pagbulong ko."Nothing, I said I'm hungry.." palusot ko. He chuckled."Silly.. What's yours?"My phone beeped. "Oh! go ahead. I don't know what to choose anyway." ani ko saka kinuha ang phone ko sa bag.I saw Judy's name on my notification. She texted me. I rarely reply to her text because I w
I got choked by her sudden question! Bwiset talaga 'tong mga ito. "A-Ano ba namang tanong iyan?!" Umubo-ubo ako, with a look of disbelief in my face. Kim pushed back her hair while waiting for my answer, seated on the sofa. Her eyes were telling that she's eager for my response. "Curious lang kami. Ano ka ba, 'wag kang Kill joy!" Umirap si Eris, pinipilit akong sumagot sa walang kwenta niyang tanong. It's not something to brag about! Her famn question is ridiculous to answer! What the hell! "H'wag mo siyang pilitin sumagot, gaga." Saway ni Kim kay Eris. "It is a private matter, gunggong ka." Nag-thumbs up ako ng palihim kay Kim, tinanguan niya ako pabalik. "Oo nga, there's a line, o." Segunda ko pa. I made a face. Nanliit ang mga mata ni Eris. "Hhmm, base sa itsura ng mukha mo, you guys didn't do the nasty pa.." Her brows shot up and down again, feeling like a detective. "Just make outs, am I right?" I frowned. What the heck? How the hell did she get that answer just from lo
Nagmamadali akong bumaba ng kotse pagtapos kong i-park sa parking. Habang nasa elevator ako naisipan kong i-text si Elouise to say sorry dahil pinaghintay ko s'ya at para sabihin na rin na nasa ospital ako dahil nandito si Eris. Para makasunod na rin siya kasama sila Joseph at Kim. To Elouise: Love, I'm sorry. I am at the hospital, I can't attend you right now. I send it first then message him again. To Elouise: Nandito sa ospital si Eris. Tinawagan ako ni Read kanina habang papunta ako d'yan. Sunod kayo rito :(( I text him also the address of the hospital. May mga kasabay akong pasyente, tipid akong ngumiti kay lolo na nakaupo wheel chair. Apo niya siguro 'yung kasama niya dahil medyo bata pa ito. Gaya ko ay naghihintay rin silang huminto yung elevator sa 4th floor dahil yun din ang pinindot noong kasam
"Thank you, ingat ka!" "You too. Kumain ka na." Kumaway ako kay Elouise bago sumara 'yung elevator. Hinatid niya lang talaga 'yung lunch ko at kailangan n'yang bumalik agad kasi marami pa daw s'yang naiwang trabaho sa opisina. "Iyan ang when." Sabi ni Lane nang magkasalubong ko ulit siya habang papunta na ako sa opisina ni Eris, dala ang lunch box na bigay ni Elouise. "Wala pa rin bang lalaki na pasok d'yan sa standards mo?" Tanong ko sakaniya. Nagkibit-balikat lang siya. "Nako, hindi mo sure." I looked at her warily. "Seriously, sino?" Her answer is neutral. Ayaw pa sabihin sa akin, parang others! "Wala nga! sige na kumain kana do'n." Pagtatabo
"Oh saan ka pupunta?"Rinig kong tanong ni Eris habang pababa ako ng hagdan. Nasa tabi niya si Kim, nakaupo sa sofa gamit ang laptop niya."Good morning!" Masayang sabi ko bago tuluyang makababa ng hagdan. Kinindatan ko silang dalawa kaya kumunot ang mga noo nila."Good morning, saan ka nga pupunta?" Tanong ulit ni Eris. Duh, hindi ba obvious? papasok ako sa trabaho syempre! Nakabihis na kasi ako ng pang-office. Ganoon din naman silang dalawa."Syempre, I am going to work!" Tumaas ang dalawang kilay nila sa akin. Bumaling na rin si Kim sa gawi ko.Ano ba kasing problema nila? gusto ko lang naman magtrabaho. At isa pa, kaliwang kamay ko lang ang may benda, e right handed naman ako kaya makakapag-type pa rin ako sa laptop ko.Nagkatinginan sila Eris a
"Anong sabi?"Eris asked curiously. Sumunod pala siya sa amin. Tumigil na ang tunog ng door bell. I felt really sad to find him feeling sorry to me for the sake of her. Well in fact, he didn't do anything wrong. I just noticed, I am being unreasonable now. He's just being nice to his friend— colleague. But Nica did this to me, my alter ego said. And he really believed that it was my fault."Should I talk to him now or tomorrow?" Tiningnan ko silang dalawa.Nagkatinginan rin sila sa tanong ko. "I think you should talk to him right now. Masamang pinapatagal ang away and besides, wala naman siya sa scene na nabuhusan ka ng bagong kulo'ng tubig.." Kim spoke. "And he tend to believe what you said on the spot kesa alamin pa ang totoong nangyari kasi, you have his full trust so he believed what you said." She sort it out calmly. I admire Kim for not being rash for circ
"Don't touch me."I tried so hard not to wince in pain. Mariin ang pagkakakagat ko sa pang-ibabang labi."What happened, Love?" He asked worriedly. Humakbang siya palapit sa akin at marahang hinawakan ang braso ko.I look at Elouise's worried face. I suddenly want to cry. I didn't do anything wrong, why did she do this to me? Tiningnan ko ang mukha ni Nica. She looked so started on what she have done. Binalik ko ang tingin ko kay Elouise. Masama na siyang nakatingin kay Nica."What happened, Nics?" He asked. Still looking for an answer from the both of us. I could only hear our heavy breathing."I—I was.." She went pale. I sighed."It was my fault." I told him instead. "I annoyed her, that's why." Nangingi
"Uh, hello." I said awkwardly.Shit. I suddenly got nervous. Hindi naman nasabi ni Elouise na may darating siyang bisita. Lumingon siya sa akin habang nagtatanggal ng sapatos si Nica. Sinamaan ko siya ng tingin. Elouise Paz, you're dead meat.He look at me innocently. Inirapan ko siya para ipakitang naiinis ako. Sana sinabi niya ng maaga na may bisita s'ya para binitbit ko rin sila Eris at Kim dito!"I'm sorry.." Biglang sabi ni Nica. "Amnnv b I interrupting something?" Nagpabalik-balik ang tingin niya sa aming dalawa ni Elouise. Yes, girl. You are obviously interrupting our dinner. I chose to keep it in. I am not that rude to say that to her face. I was just so startled to see her. And, what's with her and Elouise' doorbell?Nginitian ko siya. "No, wala naman." Gumilid ako para malaki ang dadaanan n
"Ewan ko ha, but I think she's trying to woo Elouise."Sabi ni Eris habang nag-aagahan kami bago pumasok sa trabaho. Kinwento ko sakaniya na pumunta si Janica sa condo ni Elouise."He told me naman na there's nothing to worry about Nica." Sabi ko habang ngumunguya.Eris brow shot up. "Well, if he say so. May tiwala naman ako kay Elouise, pare. Pero doon sa Nica, wala."I sighed. "Same, jusko."Hinaayan ko nalang 'yon at pumasok ng maaga sa opisina. Pagdating ko palang sa cubicle ko binuksan ang phone ko. I saw his text since last night. Hindi naman ako galit at nagtatampo. Nakatulugan ko lang talaga phone ko kagabi kaya hindi na ako nakapag reply sa messages niya.From Elouise:Lov
"W-What did you just say?"He caught me off guard with what he said. I am looking at him with wide eyes! I mean, maybe I am hearing things?"Why? you think my proposal is ridiculous?" Elouise turned to me.Ridiculous my ass. Sinong nagsabi? wala naman akong sinabi. Ang sarap kaya sa pandinig ng sinabi niya to the point na hindi na ako nakapag react ng maayos."Ano nga ulit sinabi mo?""I don't want to repeat it again, it's embarrassing." I saw his ears turned red.Tinaasan ko siya ng dalawang kilay. "So you are saying that I am an embarassment?" I joked.He frowned. "What? No." Tiningnan niya ako ng masama. "I know you heard it. What I just say is just a.." Hindi niya matuloy