Chapter 10 - Her Decision

     It is the middle of the week and another long day of working. Dragging myself out of bed, I hop in the shower hoping to wake myself up. I literally catch myself falling back to sleep while washing my hair. How is that even possible? Only getting three to four hours of sleep at night, being on your feet all day, and not eating enough. That is how people fall asleep while washing their hair in the shower.

      My foggy mirror that the shower steam caused seems like a good representation of my life. I feel like I’m just walking through life without knowing where I am going, because I can’t see where I am going, when I’m in a daze all day long due to lack of sleep. Using my hand, I swipe the mirror, leaving streaks, but I don’t care. Throwing my now dull raven locks up into a messy bun, I proceed to brush my teeth. The face that stares back at me is no longer my own, but a shell of what it used to be. Dark circles hover below my eyes while my cheekbones protrude out due to lack of nutrition. My blue-violet eyes are the same color, only they no longer shine. Spitting the toothpaste out, I rinse, wipe, and slowly shuffle over to the kitchen where my coffee awaits.

      Having to endure another day like all the days before this is just so overwhelming. My shoulders droop as I sip my coffee at the table. My mind is clear of all thoughts except for one. Where did I ever get this ugly as sin floral tablecloth? I frown. Something doesn’t look right; it doesn’t belong in the ugly print of the material. Stretching across the table, my fingers slide over something black. Very slowly, my hand covers the foreign item and I slide back towards me. When I lift it off the table, my fingers fumble with it and it flutters down, landing in my lap. I don’t touch it right away. Instead, I stare at the bright color that is scribbled across it. It reminds me of blood. Blood reminds me of death. When I think of death these days, I think about peace. How peaceful would it be to just no longer exist? Just think about how much sleep I could get. 

      A shrill ringing starts to blare, and the table begins to vibrate. My head snaps to the sound. It’s my phone. I glance at the caller ID and see that it’s my mother’s hospital. My mind snaps me back to reality. Swiping my phone screen, I hurry up and answer. It’s the desk nurse.

      “Um, is this Ms. Kramer?” she asks timidly.

      “It is. Did something happen with my mom?” 

      “What? Oh, no. Your mom is perfectly fine.” I let out a huge sigh, and she continues, “I just wanted to call because I remember you asking once if I knew who sent your mother the flowers.”

      “And? Do you know who it was?”

      “I am sorry, I don’t. But I did see a well-dressed man dropping off another vase just as I was coming on shift this morning. I don’t think he was from the flower shop.”

      “Can you at least tell me what he looked like?” I am confused. Why would some guy be bringing my mom flowers? Did she have a boyfriend before the accident? That can’t be. He wouldn’t wait all this time before getting her flowers if that was the case.

      I focus back on what the nurse is saying, “He was wearing what looked like an expensive suit. He had dark hair that looks messy on top but it’s just the way it is styled. I’m sorry I can’t tell you more. That is all I know.”

      “No, no, thank you. You have been a tremendous help. Thanks for calling and letting me know.”

      “It is no problem. I will call you if I ever see him again. Next time I will make sure to get a better look at him for you.” 

      “Ok, thank you.” I hand up the phone and just sit there pondering what she just told me.

       Noticing the black card is still in my lap, I pick it up and examine it. I didn’t realize I still had it. Bringing it to my lips, I push the corner of it into my bottom lip, contemplating. 

      ‘What if I just said fuck it, and did it?’

      ‘I mean, it’s only my virginity. It’s not like I need it. It’s not like I’ll ever see him again.’ I’m talking to myself as I stare down at the twine around my finger.

      “You broke my heart, Knox Hamilton. You said you would love me forever and that you would marry me. But you never came back for me.” I say all this aloud while my eyes tear up, “Maybe it’s time that I give up on my fairytale and face reality.”

      ‘But can I really go through with it?’

      ‘Can I give my virginity to a complete stranger? Better yet, will I be able to last a whole month with the stranger, and let him do as he pleases with me?’

      My silent thoughts seem to have a bit of an effect on my lower regions. The thought of having no control over what someone does to me makes me tingle. Maybe that is what I need; give complete control over to someone else for a little while. The money will definitely help with mom. As much as it scares the shit out of me, it may just be what I need to finally get my head above water. I slide the card into my back pocket and head for my first house cleaning job.

      I finished my last house a little after lunch time. I already sent a text to Frank letting him know that I won’t be able to work tonight. He was not too pleased with me, but I don’t care. I have never called in sick or taken time off in the past. Before I chicken out, I pull the black card out of my pocket and dial the number.

      It rings a few times before her sultry voice comes over the line, “I had a feeling that I would hear from you again, sweet Aria.” 

      “Hello Scarlett.”

      “It is Miss Scarlett for future reference.” Her voice is seductive and if I were a man I would definitely be seduced. “It’s Wednesday, Aria.”

      I know why she says it the way she does, “It is.” I reply.

      “Will you be joining us this evening?”

      I bite my lower lip. It seems to me that she is anxious to have me be one of her treasures. I wonder if she will compromise on a couple of things. I guess it won’t hurt to ask.

      “There are a few things that I want first before I agree.”

      She chuckles on the other end, “Negotiating with me, Aria? Let’s see what you are wanting and then I will let you know. It’s quite unusual, you know.”

      “Yes, but how many twenty-four-year-old virgins do you get to auction off?”

      Another chuckle, “Hmm, touché! Go ahead then, ask.”

      “First of all, I want the starting bid at one million dollars.” I scrunch my nose. This one was a far fetch one, but I figured I would ask anyway.

      “Done.” She quickly responds, “Anything else?” 

      I am thrown for a loop at how fast she agreed to that one. The others shouldn’t be a problem. “Yes. The outfit that you wanted me to wear isn’t going to do.”

      “That is what all of our treasures wear, Aria.”

      I roll my eyes, “I understand you need to sell sex, Scarlett. It’s just that the color wasn’t very appealing. Do you have one in a royal blue or violet color? You know, to make my eyes pop.” I giggle.

      “Oh dear girl, you melt my heart! We have them in almost every color, so yes. We will find one just right for you.”

      “Okay, last one.” This one makes me nervous, “My mother is in a coma. I would like to be able to visit her at least once a week, if not twice a week.”

      “Aria, I am sure that whoever your buyer is will allow you that privilege. As I said before, we vet all our buyers. You may get a Dominant that will demand you be submissive to them, but even they still have a heart. I will make sure to add it to your Bio for this evening. Is there anything else?”

      I try to think but I don’t think anything else is all too important, “No, I guess not.”

      “Fabulous. Auction starts at nine tonight, so I need you here by eight. We will do hair and makeup.” She rattles off how she can’t wait to see the faces of the men when they see her new treasure, blah, blah, blah. “See you tonight, sweet Aria.”

      I’m left standing in the middle of the sidewalk staring at my phone. ‘What did I just get myself into?’ I shake my head, “You’ve got this, Aria. Just think of it as an adventure.” I did always want to try new things, but this? I must be losing my mind. Looking at the time on my phone, I see that it’s one thirty. I need to get home and get myself ready. I have so much shaving to do! I also need to go in and schedule my bills to be paid automatically out of my account. I am hoping the money will be there by the time the bills come out, otherwise I will have a lot of overdraft fees. 

      My nerves begin to fray thinking about calling into all of my jobs and letting them know I will be gone for a month. Most likely they will not be waiting for me when I get back, but at least I’ll have a little cushion and can look for new ones once I return. Blowing out a much-needed breath, I make my way to the bus stop.