Chapter 4

Over the next two weeks, Zuko helped me as more memories surfaced. Though one memory was especially hard to cope with. When I had been mated to Daniel, we had adopted an orphaned tiger cub named Alexisia Esmerelda Myrai. When Daniel and I had split, he had kidnapped her and kept her in Heaven. I hadn't seen her in 17 years. Did she even remember me? Did she know I was her mom? What was Daniel doing to her? All these questions buzzed around in my head. And I couldn't shake the feeling that something had gone terribly wrong. What was bothering me so much? The feeling kept growing and growing. I only paced as my intuition nagged away at my sanity.

Zuko kept trying to make me sit so he could try and help. "Nyxie, please, Just take a deep breath and sit down. Pacing only makes your energy more frantic; which feeds into your emotions."

"I'm well aware about how that works. I just can't sit still. I'm so restless. My instincts are telling me to go back to Hell. There's something there that's gone wrong. And until I follow it, it will keep getting worse. I have to go back."

He stood. "At least let me go with you in case you need me."

"Fine, but try and keep up." Without another word, I walked out of the living room of my house and let him lock the door. I figured I would walk so I could possibly figure out what was wrong myself before I confronted it. Was one of the kids hurt? Did Erys get hurt? Was there something wrong with an elder member? No matter how I spun it, the same conclusion came about: if either one had happened, it'd be taken care of. If something had happened to the kids, I'd have been informed. I could hear Zuko's voice, but my mind wasn't registering his words. Tears formed in my eyes as I got closer and closer to the gate of Ethereal. I was taking huge breaths to keep calm but it wasn't helping my anxiety. I hadn't noticed I was shaking until I actually stopped for a minute. Whatever was causing my anxiety had to be severe. I took a few more deep breaths and walked through the gates, the gatekeeper having connected to Hell's gates.

"Welcome back, Nyxie." Furo looked up when I said nothing in return. "Is everything okay?"

My voice was a mirror of my grim expression. "I don't know." I avoided eye contact as a tear managed to escape its prison.

"Shit," he frowned. "Should I go with?"

"I'm not sure but just in case we need help, I recommend it," Zuko answered. Furo nodded and the three of us walked back to Hell's castle.

The minute I entered the doors, my intuition and anxiety had my heart racing so fast that I was hyperventilating. Zuko stopped me for a minute to calm my energy; helping my breathing return to normal before I would faint. I felt the cool touch of a shadow on my palm and looked down to see the shadows I controlled swirling about in a reaction to my emotions. I gave a few minutes before continuing, waiting for Alys.

Alys walked out, his ears down. "I could sense your stress and anxiety. Give me your hand." I didn't move but he took my hand and I could feel a huge amount of my anxiety fade.

"Thanks. I have no idea what's wrong but whatever it is, I'll need you."

Alys bit his lip and looked to Furo and Zuko. "Yeah, you will..."

Well, that didn't help any. I took a few more deep breaths and walked in. I could see Zukira and her guard sitting at the table, talking amongst themselves. I walked up and sat in a chair by them, dead silent. Usually I greeted Zukira happily, so she could tell something was wrong.

"What's wrong?"

"I really wish I knew."

Rafia started growling, turning to face the hall. "Bastard," she muttered.

I turned to see Lucifer walking in. There went my anxiety again. So whatever was wrong had to do with him. As he got closer, my anxiety grew. After Lucifer approached and sat, Erys walked in the front doors. I felt like I wouldn't breathe. "A-Alys, Zuko..." The two sat as close as they could and did everything in their power to calm me. Whatever was wrong, it had to do with Erys. I was so dizzy from hyperventilating and anxiety that they ended up laying me down on the floor. "It's Erys. Whatever is triggering my intuition and anxiety, he's behind it."

I could barely see it, but Zukira, Alys and Rafia all shared concerned glances. "No," Zukira frowned. "Actually Lucifer is."

"What'd I do now?" Lucifer didn't sound surprised to be accused of something.

I lifted my head to see all of them exchange glances while Erys just looked puzzled as to why I was on the floor. His gaze said it all and I put the last piece together. "He doesn't know who I am anymore..." The full impact of it hit me as I spoke it. I could feel my heart shatter. "Who did it?"

"I asked Len to do it. He made a mistake mating you." Lucifer's voice was so callous and devoid of any care.

My claws broke digging into the stone floor. "You heartless bastard!" I hissed. I would have been at his throat had it not been for Alys and Zuko holding me down. "He doesn't know me, so he doesn't know his own kids!"

I wished I hadn't said that, because at that moment, Damien and Kanna walked in. Kanna was carrying Elly, who was half asleep. Kanna squeaked out her words. "Dad doesn't know us?"

Erys scoffed and stared at me. "I'd never mate an angel. I'd certainly never have children with such arrogant creatures."

His voice was so cold, I felt the shattered pieces of my heart break more. "But...you did...We married..." I could barely hold my shaking hand up to show the gold and ruby studded ring he had given me. "We knew each other as kids...." Tears escaped my eyes, grief overwhelming me.

Zuko bit his lip. "If I know her as well as I do, this grief will quickly be replaced with sheer outrage."

Furo, who I guess was leaning on the wall by the doors, just sighed. "Lucifer, you fucking dumb ass. You can't brain wash people and expect it to work out." He made his way to the hall. "I'll talk with Len about this."

My body shook as I cried. The one person who had saved me as a child was now ripped from me. "LUCIFER I'LL FUCKING KILL YOU!" I struggled against Alys and Zuko, baring my fangs.

Zukira, seeing how pissed off I was, stepped behind Rafia. "She isn't mad at you, Zukira. You're safe."

"Everyone but Lucifer is safe," I growled through my teeth. "Who the hell gave you the right to choose what someone remembers? You don't have the fucking right to rip away part of someone's very life!" I may not have been able to move, but my shadows were untouchable. So Lucifer flew back and into the wall behind his throne.

"Shit! We forgot about her powers!" Alys cursed.

"Nyxie, calm yourself. Attacking him will do no good," Len's voice came from behind me.

"It makes me feel a lot better, so I'd say it does some good."

Kanna just stared at Erys. "Dad, you really don't know who we are?"

"And I couldn't care less."

Elly started crying after that. "Daddy, Daddy! Miss my daddy!"

How could his own flesh and blood not clear the amnesia forced onto him?! I noticed Lucifer get up and dust himself off. "Don't you dare come near me, you pathetic excuse of a creature! You disgrace the name fallen angel!" My powers kept him by his throne and far from me. Despite my rage towards him, I wasn't out for blood. "And as far as mistakes go, your fucking highness, Kalira made a mistake by not killing you. She should have instead of letting you off easy. You should be dead."

"No one has seen Kalira in decades. It's rumored she's dead."

The doors opened and I heard heels clicking. "Well, too bad rumors are just lies spread by the jealous. That and I let him off, for pity."

I heard a few gasps and knew it was Kali. "Kalira! But, how?"

"Bow, insignificant fallen one." Oh how I loved this woman already. I could see him bow out of the corner of my eye. She approached Len. "I'd like to refine our treaty a little further, if you don't mind."

"Not at all," he replied.

I sat up, having calmed enough to be released. "Hello, Kali."

"Nyxie," she smiled at me then turned to Lucifer. "You have such little respect for others. It's a wonder you even survived in this realm with your weak little powers, let alone rose to the throne. What'd you do? Fuck your way to the top?" I heard some laughs covered by coughs but I let my laugh out. "I suggest you watch your actions. Don't you forget-you're still just an angel ruling a realm of people who despise your kind."

Zukira stared. I don't think she had ever seen Kali before. "Hello, Goddess," she bowed respectfully.

"Hello, little green angel. You may call me Kali. And might I suggest you break the forced amnesia on Erys."

Erys was just staring at Kali in awe. I know he had never seen her before. I don't think he even knew she existed. "Erys, the first Goddess and creator of all you know now, Kalira."

"Um, hi? Nice to meet you?"

Kali just smiled. "Len, shall we discuss business?"

"Of course. Let us go into my office. Right this way."

Kali bowed to the rest of us. "Zukira, do what you must. It is your power." She turned an icy gaze on Lucifer. "And shut your mouth before the flies leave maggots. Nyxie, center yourself. Anger and harsh words never solved anything." And with that, she followed Len.

Damn was she good with words. She had silenced Lucifer's huge ego in only a few sentences. I admired her. "So, uh, now what?" I sighed, the rest of my anger fading. The kids were whispering excitedly about having seen Kali in person. At least that little distraction had stopped their tears.

Zukira sighed and moved to Erys. "Sorry but you heard the Goddess." She had to stand on her tip toes to reach his head. He was six foot and she was just five feet tall. Huge height difference when they were side by side. She rubbed her hands on his head for I'd say about 30 seconds or so before he blinked and shook his head.

"Dad?" Damien tilted his head, a wolf ear twitching. Damien was like a mirror image of Erys, but with white horns and grey wings.

"Yeah?" Erys turned to Damien. "Why the tears, squirt?"

Oh, thank god that had worked. "Erys!" I scrambled up and glomped him, squeezing him tight.

"What'd I miss?" He put his arms around me, extending the embrace when the kids joined the hug.

"Asstwat over there forced amnesia on you so you'd forget Mom and us," Kanna informed him. Elly climbed her way onto his leg and wouldn't let go.

"Yeah, asstwat over here would like to move now," Lucifer crossed his arms.

"Shut up," I scoffed, releasing his shadow. Angrily cursing, Lucifer left the room.

"I need some fresh air." I broke free of the group hug, the kids going to their rooms to talk about whatever. I looked back as I walked out. "I guess I'll be back in a few min-SHIT!" I wasn't looking where I was going and ran into a tree. I fell back, hitting my head on a step. "Ugh, fuck that hurt." I held my head in my hands, rocking back and forth slightly. I blinked and looked around, unable to recall where I was. "Where am I?"

"Oh boy..."

I turned to see a female green haired angel, male silver haired demon and a brown haired fox. Behind them were a silver haired male and black haired male. Those two were laughing at me. Had I done something funny? Made a joke? "What?" That only made the two fall over laughing. My gaze moved to the angel and demon. "Aww, you two look so cute together! It'd be funny if you two had a kid. The hair would be purple if hair colors mixed."

The angel flailed. "ACK, NO! He's your mate! You can have him!"

"What am I? A fruitcake?" He retorted.

I couldn't help but laugh. "You're funny. And that smile takes my breath away," I smiled to him.

"You always did say that," the male laughed.

The woman smacked his arm, the fox giggling at whatever was amusing. "NO LAUGHING MATTER!"

"I'll get Len," the fox left, shaking her head.

"So, who is this hot demon here?" I sat up and smiled flirtatiously.

"He's your mate and father of your children."

"The only children I have were killed," I frowned, recalling Daron and April. "And I know he's not the father." By saying that I felt like I was reading paternity results.

"Nyxie, I need your hand."

"How do you know-" When I turned around, a tall male with blonde hair and a blue streak was behind me. "Holy WOW are you gorgeous! But you've got nothing on the silver guy over there." I moved a little back to wink at him. The other two males got up and left, still laughing at me for whatever reason.

"May I see your hand?"

"Sure but don't give him the wrong idea," I replied, still staring at the other demon. Damn he was so fucking attractive and his voice was so mesmerizing. I could listen to him read off boring paper work and not get bored. I felt a hard tap on my palm, heard some whispers, then a dull headache made me close my eyes for a minute. A rush of images passed by. When I opened my eyes again, I saw Len, Kira and Erys staring at me. I felt my hand in someone's and turned to see Len holding it. Promptly, I pulled it back. "Awkward..."

Zukira tackled me, knocking me over. "NYXIE!"

"Um, hi? What'd I miss?" I hugged her and got up after she got off of me.

"Well, you were about to go outside. But you ran into a tree, then fell back and hit your head on a step. You kinda forgot you were mated to the bear here and thought Erys and I were a couple."

"But you kept flirting with me the whole time. It was rather cute."

"I guess that's just how much we're meant to be. Even if I lose my memory, I still want to be with you," I smiled.

"Indeed. Well, glad you're back, Nyxie." Len stood and left the room. He was probably going back to his office.

"This has been one hell of a day," I rubbed my sore head and checked my hand for blood. "Ok, I'm not bleeding. I do need to lay down, though. This headache is kicking my ass." I slowly stood to avoid vertigo and walked back inside.

"Rest well, my love," Erys gently kissed my head. "I'll be here when you come out."

I smiled and gave him a kiss. "You're such a sweetheart. I love you."

"I love you, too."

With a smile, I went down the hall and into my room for a much needed nap. All my emotions had left me exhausted and this headache was just dragging my ass down pass out lane. Comfy pillows snuggled my head as I laid down in bed to rest. The sun was setting so I figured it was a good time to sleep a little bit.