Chapter 3

Our love making had been very passionate, even more so now that we had rediscovered a deeper connection to each other. I rolled over, seeing Erys sleeping. It was rare that I saw him sleep. He looked so peaceful. I rubbed my eyes and stretched, yawning. What time was it? I glanced out his window, seeing a mid morning sun. So maybe about 9 or 10? Getting out of bed, I managed to find my clothes under his bed. Quietly dressing, I left the room. The castle was eerily quiet. I reflected on my dreams, which I had assumed were more memories of my childhood. I had seen Erys and I playing together as kids, he called me featherfluff and I called him mirror hair. The nicknames we had... We had argued over hair brushing, his hair to be exact.

I laid on the floor of the throne room, bored.

Mayami sat beside me. "Nyxie, something is wrong with Kira's guard." Mayami was a shadow guard to me. If I needed, she could guard me. I was pretty adamant about defending myself, so she was rarely around.

Despite Kira's guard not liking me for whatever reason, I still cared about her. After all, she was a close friend of Zukira's. "She's not hurt, is she?"

"No, it's just that...Well, I talked with Rafia after the wedding. Zukira dismissed her as a guard. That could be bad for her, since she is an angel, too."

"It is Kira's choice after all. It's not our place to tell her what to do."

I tried to soothe her unease, but Yami kept arguing. What had gotten into her? She normally dropped an argument when I told her there was nothing to worry about. We kept arguing until Yami struck me, leaving a trail of claw marks on my cheek.

Alys, who must have heard us arguing, tackled Yami before she could strike me again. "That was a mistake, tigress. No one strikes the Princess for any reason." He struggled to keep her down as Yami's temper got worse.

I breathed deeply to calm myself so I wouldn't retaliate. "Hurt by the one assigned to prevent such a thing. How ironic." My voice was tinged with sadness. "Mayami Jonovich, you are dismissed. Leave the castle."

Yami froze. "Nyxie..." Alys now released her, only for Yami to fall to her knees. "Please, don't!"

I turned away. "Alys, escort her out." With a heavy sigh, I walked away. I was severely disappointed in her. I knew Yami had a nasty temper but I never thought that she'd strike me. I happened to pass by Astrania, who was staring at a paper rather peculiarly. "What's wrong, Goddess?"

"I've been summoned to Heaven. Which is very confusing. I'm usually the one who does the summoning." She continued to study the document, puzzled.

"So, what's so puzzling about this document?"

"The person who signed it hasn't been seen in decades."

Now I joined her bewilderment. "Who signed it?"

"The first Goddess of Heaven, Kalira Dela Cruz." Both of us were puzzled now. When I was in training, I had learned that Kalira had disappeared without a word at least 80 years ago. No one knew why or even where she went. "Well, this will be a chance to further some of your angelic knowledge. Come with me."

"But, you banned me from Heaven, remember?"

"I shall make an exception in this case. However Kali does have the power to over rule my decision should she want to." Astrania walked out to the throne room, out of the doors and to Hell's gates. She turned to Furo, who was leaning against the first inward gate. "Could this lead us straight to Heaven?"

"Yeah, I suppose I could make it do that," Furo yawned.

"Would you please do that?"

The elder opened an eye and smirked. "Only because you said please." Furo stood, put his hands on the gates and murmured something in Latin. "There ya go. Just walk on through."

"Thank you, demon elder." Astrania bowed and the two of us walked through the gate. I would still never understand how the thing with the gates to the realms worked. How could one gate connect to another place entirely? I would have to ask Len about it later. The Goddess kept muttering to herself about how strange this was and what not.

As we walked our way in, I pondered about some other memories that were slowly returning to me. I had been previously mated to two other men. I strained my mind to remember their names, pushing passed the mental fog. Zack, then Daniel. That was about all I could get-names to the faces I saw. A few more concentrated moments and I could remember how they were abusive and controlling. Why had I gotten with them in the first place? I kinda wished the memories would just come at once, but I suppose that would overwhelm me. Who knows how much had been "wiped" from my mind. "Goddess?"

"Yes, Nyxie?

"You said Kalira's last name was De La Oitiz. Isn't that the same name as the elders?"

Astrania gave me a half smile. "You've got a lot to learn from her."

I blinked. Okay, that was bizarre answer. But one never questioned a deity. Bad things tended to happen when a deity was questioned. The more I reflected on my past lovers, the more things I remembered. I had given birth to two kids with Zack. Daron and April. What happened to them made me freeze. I remembered how abusive he had been, now shuddering at the thought.

- - - - -

I had just gotten back from shopping with one of my old friends, Ringo. April and Daron had been waiting to go to the little market so I gave them the money when I got back. As usual, Zack was demanding and horrible. Ringo had called the guards on him and he was still pissed about being in jail for a few years. It was getting late and I wondered where the kids were. They should have been home by now. I was just about to go out and see where they were when there was a knock on the door. A lump rose to my throat as I approached the door. My intuition was telling me that it was only bad news. Despite my feeling, I opened the door.

"Are you Mrs. Lee?" A guard asked, depression in his voice.

I could barely speak. "Yes."

"Ma'am, we found your children. They had unfortunately been slain by a delusional demon."

"Are, are you sure?" Tears welled up in my eyes. I knew he was right but I still asked.

"Unfortunately, yes. We found you as an emergency contact written on a card they both carried. I'm sorry, I really am. They were taken to a healer but the injuries sustained were too severe."

My shaking hand reached my mouth as I bit my lip. "I, I see...Thank you. Have a good night." I closed the door and leaned my head on it, heavy grief crushing me.

"Who was at the door?"

His voice didn't even make me flinch, when normally it did. "A guard...April and Daron were killed..."

I heard a plate shatter and then he was at my throat from behind. "How could you let this happen?!"

I was not in the mood to deal with this two faced bull shit. My hand pried his off and jerked it away. "Since when the fuck did you give two fucking rats asses about the kids? You always beat me in front of them, threaten them and then proceed to neglect them! Don't give me your two faced ape shit!" I shoved him away from me and stormed out the door. I flew off before he could follow me.

- - - - -

"Nyxie? Nyxie? Hello?!"

I jolted with a gasp. "What? Huh?" I blinked the tears from my eyes to see Astrania staring at me.

"You've been standing there for a few minutes now, crying. Are you okay?"

I wiped my face. "Yeah, just a painful memory...Let's go." I walked ahead of her, hating that I'd been seen crying. I was always told that crying meant weakness. I reached the palace, guards pointing their spears at me.

"At ease, I brought her with me," Astrania waved them away and we walked in.

Last time I had seen this place, I was in training. It was a modest sized palace, maybe a little smaller than the royal castle. There were silver and gold decorations everywhere, the walls painted a misty sea foam green. Who decided that sea foam was green anyway?

"Ladies."

A beautiful lilting voice caught my attention. We turned to see a woman, about 6'7", approach us. She had long, black hair down to her waist, ebony black dragon wings, and ivory white dragon horns gently swerving on top of her head. Instinct told me to bow and I did. "Goddess Kalira."

"Hello, Nyxie, Astra."

Astra rose from her bow. "Goddess, where have you been?"

"Recovering from a near deadly curse laid upon me by a rather betraying angel. But I am better now and ready to resume my reign as Goddess."

"As you wish, Goddess," Astra nodded.

"And Nyxie," Kali turned a warm smile to me. "You are welcome here without worry of threat. I praise your bold choices as they have resulted in peace. Both of you may refer to me as Kali or Kalira. I am a rather informal ruler."

I was surprised by this sudden hospitality but didn't dare question it. I knew nothing of Kali or what she was capable of doing. "Thank you, Kali. I merely followed my heart." My intuition told me that the betraying angel Kali spoke of was Lucifer.

"The best choice one can make in my eyes."

"Thank you. If you do not mind, I wish to return to my home for the time being. I have some things I need to think over." I wanted to ask Kali questions, mostly about my childhood and who my parents were, but I needed a walk.

"Very well. Do enjoy yourself, dear," Kali waved as I left.

I was bothered by a vague memory I was seeing. It was of my wedding, but it wasn't how I remembered. This one was different. We were marrying, yes but it wasn't a happy ending. Something went wrong and Erys went after everyone-even me. Confusion, fright, shock. Was this another memory I had been meant to forget? Who had made me forget it? I kept putting little pieces together as I flew back to Hell. My wedding had just happened, hadn't it? Why did it seem to have a different ending? Could it have been a nightmare? I made a pit stop in my home realm of Ethereal to pick up an old friend and bring him with. We retreated to my room and I began relaying how I was remembering the ruined wedding, my first born kids, and the abusive relationships. Zuko was essentially being appointed as my personal therapist. His powers dealt with cleansing energy and after all these bad memories, surfaced, I needed some cleansing.

A knock on my door disturbed us. Zukira and Len came in. "Princess, Erys has been put into a deep sleep. Zukira caught him trying to snap off his horns."

"What?! Why?!"

Kira fidgeted nervously. "He said something about hurting you during the wedding?"

So it wasn't a dream... "I see."

"He's safe from himself now. I can wake him up, I'm just letting him get some needed sleep."

Elysium and Veraque were peeking in the door behind Kira and Len. If Len could restore memories, could he also erase them? "Len, you can restore memories. Can you erase them as well?"

He seemed surprised by my question. "Indeed."

I looked in his eyes and sighed. "Did Erys and I already wed once before? And if so, why did you make everyone forget it? How much time did everyone forget?"

His lip twitched, barely noticeable but I saw it. With a sigh, he answered. "Yes, you did. But something possessed the prince, literally, and he attacked everyone. We had to restrain him and chase out the spirit. I would say about a month was forgotten, as that's how long recovery took for those who were involved."

"I see. Was the culprit taken care of?" He nodded and looked to Veraque, who also nodded. Whoever did it was dead now. This new information was drowning me in emotions I didn't want. Without a glance to the others, I stood. "For now, I'm going to leave Hell and go back home. A lot of my own repressed memories are surfacing and I need time to deal with this on my own. Wake him up when you see fit, Zukira. I'll return on my own." I grabbed a cloak from my closet and motioned for Zuko to follow me. Veraque and Elysium both ducked out of the way.

"I'll miss you, Nyxie," Veraque frowned.

"Come visit, okay?" Elysium tried to sound okay with my decision.

"You are always welcome," Len reassured me.

"We'll be waiting," Kira waved.

I stopped to hug each of my kids, said I was going on a job, and left. I didn't know when I'd return but hopefully I'd be more at ease when I did. As I walked from Hell, I thought about the first wedding. The memory was very hazy, but I remembered important details. We had said vows that were, coincidentally, similar to ones we had just spoken. I had actually worn a red dress, and he had his typical look. It was just Erys and I, so everyone was celebrating. Well, I suppose not everyone if some demon had the nerve to possess Erys and make him attack everyone. My memories seemed to have a strong haze around a woman with black hair and black eyes. I got a bad feeling from her. Was she the one responsible? I knew I shouldn't be thinking about it, as it was already taken care of. But I couldn't help it. I had been cruelly robbed of what should have been my happiest day.

"Nyxie, come out of the past." Zuko stopped in front of me and put a hand on my shoulder. "It's been dealt with already. I understand what you're feeling, and you're right. It was cruel. But fixating on the past won't do anything now."

"You're right," I sighed heavily, stopping just outside of the gates that Furo had worked his powers on. We had made it from Hell in what seemed a few minutes, but I was probably deep in thought for the whole walk. It didn't take a few minutes to walk from the castle to Hell's gates. So many memories and emotions to work through. Had Len known his gift would unlock more than just one moment in time? He had good intentions, so I couldn't be upset with him.