Intense Presence

                                         

She pairs her eyes at me, then at rose , I know that look, " what is it anna?", she smiles at me then back at rose, who had her head bent down now, as she drummed her hands beside her, ''mom wants everyone to be gathered for dinner" she said, beaming now.

     " I would be there in twenty_"

 " mom wants you there now, and rose too" she said stomping her feet on the floor as she folds her arms together, staring at her lips poked out, “being silly doesn't do much , I would be there in twenty minutes" I added, she rolled her eyes then yanks rose by the arm.

   " hey!" 

*****************

       Like every other year, mom threw  a party  to  showcase her fancy  ideas on how well she could get so much food to fit on  one table, and how well people would admire the  food, and her too, 

   Seated on the table, as the fork  clicked dramatically on the plates, the endlessly long table filled with people consecutively chatting amongst each other, but rose , she had a selvet across her lips now, as she had not quite long choked on a silly joke Axel had just told.

    They were seated close to each other, as he occasionally placed  hands on her, it hurts to see her laughing so casually with him, what makes him so funny?, it’s just a moron that happens to share the same space as a child. 

    “ ashe dear,  pass the salad would you? ” mom said , obviously to bring their chatter  towards my direction, passing the salad, I shoved as spoon full in my mouth, just like I had been doing for the past hour, “ you all know that when asher was just a baby, he used to puke all over his walker anytime he perceived peas?“

   There it goes.

They are wow abs chuckle after her statement

  

   “ now look at my boy , all grown up” the cheering noise on the table persist as everyone gaggle to moms  weird  stories I could almost recite it , i see axel wrap his hands around her shoulder, “ you know back then, he used to be so fun to be around, wasn't it asher ?” he asked.

    The sight of his hands around Rose's shoulder made my heart constrict, as I wrapped the fork around my fingers, “ no, he's not weird, just  composed” rose said as she stared at me, smiling sweetly, 

“ composed? ”

   For a second the table  was quiet  , and all I saw was her beaming at me, with a squinted eye. This  uncertainty I feel when she smiles comes tugging at my mind and thoughts, unbearably as it lingers, my cheek burns again

   Her eyes held mine, as she diligently shoves a fork in her mouth 

    “ Well if ‘reserved’ also means jerk then I would accept that,” Axel said , pulling me out of what I would call oblivion.

    The repulsive  laughter pulls me off guard.  As i glare at every one of them, i hate family dinners , and not just anyone, just the one where i have to watch this annoying human try his  best to push my last string till it snaps, “ you don't have to be stupid axel, shut up and eat”

   “ oh guess who’s so composed after all” he said once more pulling the crowd at his mercy as his crew laughed along,  classic axel…

     “ well baby girl i know he is your boss, but if you need a bag to burf in sometimes i got you”  he said  holding her hands in his, his touciness made my heart ache, as i grasped the for, with every knot of restraint i had 

    He looks at me, smiling , looking at rose, she does that thing again where she tucks her hair behind her ears, and gives a puppy dog eyes, I could tell she’s way uncomfortable by his presence, but Axel being a moron he had no idea, it will hurt less if I am out, the mind hurts only when the eye sees. 

   

   “ i am going, it was nice having this dinner”

    i swoop the stain off my mouth, “ don't go so soon Asher stay a while would you” mom said, ,looking across the table, her plea had everyone staring at me, including rose, “ i am sorry mom, i would see you some other time” i said pushing the chair  back to , walking over to her i place a peck on her cheek, then waved at dad.

    “ i would be leaving to” 

   Said rose as she stood from her seat, “ why rose, you don't have to assist him to his car you know” 

   “ well…”

  “ thanks rose for everything, i really appreciate” anna cuts her off, and i have never been so grateful in my life, walking out of the building, never felt this much more suffocated in my entire life than i just did now.

   Reaching for my keys in my pocket, as i try opening my door, i see rose walking out, with her hands all wrapped around her arm, as she caressed her silver purse with the other , ‘hey” she said, forcing  an obvious smile, 

    Just ignore her and she will go away. I have had way too much drama for one night .

  This had been the only way i solve my problems but not now,  as she was just feets  away from me, “ i know older brothers can be a little bit cranky” she said wrapped her  finger around her neck, impersonating a person trying to strangle or being strangled,

, her silly gesture tears my mask of stoicism, as I guard out in laughter.

   “ he’s not my older brother, it’s just a minute difference”

   “ it's in the blood” she whispered dramatically with her palm covering her mouth like she doesn't want anyone to hear, obviously aware we were alone, once more I smile, “ if you say so”

  “ I know so, being the last child isn’t rosy”She rolls her eyes skyward.

     Just when I had wanted to say something, it came to my realization, I don’t feel uneasy anymore, neither do I feel claustrophobic, is she ?.

   She smiles even more, and a Chizzy feeling locate my one’s hot chest.

  “ Are you going to the office, or back home?” she said, pulling me back to reality. “ Home,” I said as I opened the door, hoping she would hop in, but I haven’t asked yet.

  Damn 

   “ it's a nice party, you might want to stay a little  longer” i said, she looks  back at the house then at me, “ i kinda don't like parties” she said as she grimaced, “well that makes two of us” 

   “ do you want a ride, or you got one here” i said waving the thought of my mind,  “ uhm, i would just catch a cab” she said in a looking back at the endless queue of car, everyone here came with a ride, soon she starts drumming on her finger as she deeper further into the road.

    “ ok , that's a yes, hop in” opening the car she stood  muted at a spot, “ we don't have all night rose i will drop you off” i said,  as I gestured for her to get in, she did as expected, while I worked over igniting the engines. 

   The ride home felt worse as her fingers wouldn’t stop drumming, “ if you keep doing that we might actually have a road accident, it’s really distracting” I said, as I find myself peeking every now and then to her finger. 

   She halts for a while, “ uhm sorry” 

  “ Why are you nervous around me ?” i asked , looking at her fingers, now clenching and unclenching them, what’s the point anyway, “ you don't have to answer”, pressing the accelerator, the car moves faster, the earlier she’s off the car the safer she feels, she bends her head, then bite her finger gently, “ you are very strange sometimes” she said in  a whispers.

   Here words were like hot coal on water, “ then you shouldn’t have defended me when my brother said same” , pain flourishes deep within me as my fingers wrap the wheel, “ no it's not like that , you are not__”

   “_ you are not bad asher, you were very free when you danced with me, but after then…”, she halts for a while, then stares at her finger, then at me, “ you changed” she whispered in a barely audible  tone.

  

    Her words struck me hard again, I don’t battle with the fact that I am weird, and for some reason she makes me feel so bad for being who I am, “ you shouldn’t stand up for people you know nothing about” I cautioned, she doesn’t say a word, instead she drums her finger. 

    “ it won’t happen again…, I am sorry, I wont_”

 “ it’s fine, we have arrived” 

   “ thanks for the ride” she said grabbing her purse from her thighs, as she faced the window, I shouldn’t have said such to her, “ I am sorry, I shouldn’t have_”

 “ it’s fine”

   She cuts me off, but I deserve it, it’s best if I let her go, leaning further, her scent stupefies my senses one’s more, as I hesitate just to get a longer scent to remember, my body heated evenly to the closeness, as I felt my shaft harden, being the close makes my body react in ways I wouldn’t have imagined it would.

   Looking at her, she had her eyes closed and her lips parted gently, they were as red as the roses outside the house, and as delicate as each petal, I want to feel them so bad against my thumb, I want to tell her to give me a chance if she could, but instead I flick the switch and the door opens.

   “ goodbye rosalie” I whispered, she exhaled gently, her warm breath, toys with lips, as I pulled away.

  The further she is away from me the best it is to get back to my sense