Chapter 17 - Zinnia POV

As I opened my eyes, I realised we were in my fathers house.

I recognised the room only slightly because everything was still dancing around my vision. This was the room I slept in during the summer vacation here with my dad.

"Why couldn't you wait!" I yelled but it only came out in a whispered sob.

My birthday was tomorrow and now my dad would not be there.

My body suddenly started twitching, my head started throbbing, my brain was on fire and it felt like it was growing in my skull, my skull split. My eyes burned, I could feel the burning moving down my face. Hot, sticky, wet liquid was running out of my eyes, out of my nose and out of the corners of my mouth. The burning ran down the length of my body. I could feel it reaching my fingers, running down my legs to my toes. It was burning my me from inside out. I felt my body sizzling and changing under the pressure of the heat. I felt myself fading into unconsciousness as the pain got worse by the second.

I wanted to die.

It felt like my entire body was going to explode into a flaming ball of fire. After what felt like hours I faded into unconsciousness, darkness welcomed me.

Death didn’t come though, I could feel the sun peeking through the curtains, to wake me up.

I didn’t feel like waking up… not ever… (What do I have to live for, my dad’s dead, I can’t go back and Eric… What am I supposed to do without my father? How am I supposedto go-on.)

I wish I could be a…butterfly, they can fly away into oblivion, their small and beautiful.

Suddenly I felt like I had wings and the air was brushing against it. The slight gust of wind suddenly lifted me into the air. I opened my eyes slowly, unwillingly but it just felt to real. With a shock I realised I was really in the air, gliding. As I passed the mirror I could see the wings, magnifisent wings fluttering. Something strange caught my attention. The eyes, their not black like a normal butterflies but grey, not a dull grey or a silver but a shade in between with a black outline. I realised that I was looking at myself and then a door slammed behind me and I fell onto my very human ass, on the ground. Suddenly Justine was by my side helping me up. I looked in the mirror I was myself again except for my eyes… my hair. My eyes were still grey with a black outline and my hair dark almost black but I could still see the brown. I could see Justine’s shocked reaction in the reflection of my mirror.

“What am I?” I closed my eyes and turned to her. I saw she hesitated for a moment after a while, that felt to long she answered;

“You are a shape shifter.” In a whisper as if that was a great secret. I plumbed down on my bed.

“That’s bad?” I stated more than asked.

“No, it’s just a little more complicated.” She said, placing a hand on my shoulder but she was trying to convince herself.

“Everything is always damn complicated…always.” I stated.

“Have you opened your letter yet?”

“No, why?” I mumbled answering her.

“Where is it?”

“On the fireplace, with the gift Eric gave me.”

“Do you want me to hand it to you, so that you could read it?”

“No!”

“But Nia…”

“No!” I Did not want to open it yet. I Wasn’t ready to open it just yet. I Could feel the anger and hurt boiling in my body and in my mind. Nothing was ever easy… nothing…

My head was racing and my heart was acking. Every single blood cell was boiling and my skull was split as well as all of the bones in my body felt brused. I was most defnintly not dead.

I stood up slowly and got dressed, I realized I wasn’t wearing any clothes. I could feel Justines’ eyes following me and that started to get on my every last nerve.

I just wished everyone will leave me alone. I studied my new clothes, the black tank top hugging my body, old blue jeans and my black boots didn’t seem to fit right anymore. I didn’t care though, I shrugged at my reflexion and went out on the balcony. From here I could see the houses, every elf alone, minding their own business.

Suddenly two very small children caught my eye. They were beautiful, exotic with their pointy ears and cat like eyes. I wished for a moment that I could be one of them. Just to be normal for once in my life. (I miss you daddy, why did you have to leave me? Why couldn’t you just stay? I don’t want to be here anymore daddy.)

My thoughts were interrupted by the bang of the door for a second time, it was pushed open with such force that it sounded like a bomb exploding. Maybe it was just my head.... I rolled my eyes.

“Justine, did she open it yet?” Williams voice rang through me like a bell, chiming loudly in an empty space, vibrating through the walls. I closed my eyes and gritted my teeth. I know they are only trying to help but it was getting onto my last nerve.

So I tried to consintrate all my anger on one place, a little pot-plant in a big pot, I thought about angry winds as angry as me pulling at the plant, pulling and pushing and then about ice, freezing it into place, leaving it cold, hurt and raw. As my thoughts came to an end I was staring at a ruind plant, torn from the ground, frozen and ripped in half. I blinked a few times clearing my eyes of tears. Then it hit me I’m eighteen today. That means all the pain I went through last night was to ready my body for the magic and apperantly to change shape. I breathed a sigh of realization. Suddenly I felt warn and weak.

“Zinnia, are you alright?” I heard William’s concerned voice behind me.

I scoffed and murmured; "Fine."

“You don’t sound fine.”

“Just leave me alone.”

“Nia?” He placed his hand on my shoulder

“Do you want me to bring you the letter?”

“No! Don’t anyone understand the word no! Leave me alone!”

I couldn’t take it anymore.

I ran and jumped from the balcony landing in a crouch but I didn’t look around.

I could feel the tears running down my face.

I wish they could leave me alone.

All I wanted to do was run, run away and never return.

That mighy become a possibility because I didn’t know where I was going. All I saw was flashes of trees and eyes burning into me. As I ran I could feel the eyes burning into my back. I could hear the whispers on the wind.

By now I was running for hours when I slowed down a bit only to see a cliff on my right side.

The thought to fling myself over the edge of the cliff passed quickly.

I turned around and started running back the way I came.

As I was picking up speed again something crashed into me.

Something hard, warm and covered with furr.