Chapter 12 - Eric POV

At last, I was home, I banged the door behind me and slid down to the floor.

"How can I be so pathetic?"

"Eric...what's wrong dear?" I saw Johanna hurrying towards me from the kitchen. Her face was as white as snow, worry written on every line.

"Hey, Nanna, I'm sorry. It's nothing to worry about." I said, trying to reassure her.

I laid my head upon my knees to hide the guilty feeling so very obviously coloring my face and neck.

I felt her hands gripping my biceps, and she pulled me up. She didn't loosen her grip till I was seated on the couch. She gave me a look to say stay and then disappeared back into the kitchen. She entered the living room carrying two cups filled with a thick, scarlet substance.

"Drink it will make you feel a little bit better. It's still fresh and hot. "

I took a sip hesitantly before gulping half of it down. I didn’t realise I was that hungry until it touched my tongue.

"Now, tell me what is wrong."

I stared into those shimmering eyes. She always cares so very much. Through thick and thin, she has been there. Her eyes were filled with expectation and wisdom.

No one could ever imagine the wisdom she had. Only experience can teach you that wisdom.

She was a mother to me. More than anyone or anything else.

I loved her more than anyone.

"Oh' my boy, what have made you so sad two days before your birthday?"

"This is supposed to be a happy time."

"Nanna... I...I don’t understand why I am suddenly so weak. I feel like I'm under a spell or something." I sighed.

I could see the worry in her eyes instantly.

"No, no, not that kind of spell." I reassured her quickly.

"Worse, I think. I think I'm in love, or rather I know I am, but I know I shouldn't be." The later burst out of me like a volcano erupting.

A smile appeared on her lips. And a sigh of relief escaped her.

"Eric, dear, what is wrong with that? Being in love is normal, and surely you have been in love before."

"Nanna, she's gone. She left this morning and I'm not sure where to, although I have a good idea but no..." I mumbled to myself and then continued; "I don't think she will ever come back." I gave her a look.

A wave of realisation played over my grandmother's face.

"Have I ever told you how your grandfather and I met?"

"No."

"I'll make it short and sweat." She sighed more at the memories rushing forward than at the thought of telling it again.

"Many, many years ago, more than I care to remember. Your grandfather and I met in 'training' if you could call it that . It wasn't a school just yet. He was one of the in crowd, and I was an outcast because of my bloodline. See, they were all jealous, and so I didn't quite fit in well." She winked.

"He made fun of me all the time, teased me about my looks or heritage. I'm most certainly not going to tell it all. Like a tragic love story, I was in love with him. I knew I shouldn't be because of how mean he was and all that, but I was..." She sighed again.

"One day out of the blue, he declared his love to me. I refused to believe it because of our history and also the time came for me to leave.

"What I didn't know is that he came looking for me, and after many a years, he found me. We renewed our love and became one with each other... When he was taken from me...I just had to leave. So I took you and moved here."

Tears were threatening to spill over their walls at the remembrance of these memories.

"Why did you take me, Nanna ?" I didn't mean to ask, but it just came out.

"Because I knew what your mot... stepmother had planned for you, and I couldn't let her do it. She took away both my husband and son, and I would not let her destroy my grandson as well. I lost enough to that place and that woman." Anger darkened her eyes.

As quick as her eyes filled with hatred, it softened again, and she changed the subject.

"So, who is this girl?"

"Nanna, remember that girl I agreed to kiss at the last dance?"

She knotted.

I knotted.

"The one that terrible friend of yours always wanted to hurt by pranking her?"

"Yes, her step sister." I hung my head in shame.

"No..."

"Nanna..." I pleaded for her to listen. To understand.

"To them that kiss was a joke, a prank but too me it was more it was...real. I just wish I had told her before the summer holiday because now she thinks I only like her because of how she changed physically. She thinks that I did not see her beauty before she changed."

Grandma gave me a look of disbelief.

"Grandma, it isn't so, I have liked her since I laid my eyes on her. When she was chubby, she looked so cute to me, and now she's the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. That's also why I insisted on kissing her at the last dance because I couldn't stand the idea of someone else kissing her.

"I wanted to do so much more..."

Zinnia filled my head, and she didn't want to leave me alone. The idea of me hurting her left me disgusted in myself, all over again.

"Eric, are you sure you didn't just experience lust because that can easily be mistaken for love?"

My eyes found hers.

"Nanna, how old am I. She made me feel everything, love, lust, anger, pain, and most importantly, for the first time, she actually made me feel...alive."

I took a deep breath before continuing.

"And how could only lust possibly leave me feeling so empty and dead once again?"

I hung my head, thoughts rushing in and out of my brain. Nanna stood up hesitantly and then came to sit next to me .

Taking my hand in hers, she said; "My baby boy, maybe you did find love... Don't let it go. Don't ever let it go. For once you have found it, you have to take it, work hard at it, and never ever let it go. Go find her."

She quickly wiped an escaped tear away as she winked the others into their shelters.

She smiled hopefully, but I could see the sadness in her eyes.

"No, I will stay with you. I don't feel ready to go anywhere just yet." I added hastily so that she wouldn't think I'm staying because of her.

"You must leave the nest sooner or later."

"I choose later."

"I agree." A sigh of relief escaped from between her lips.

"I will get dinner ready. You must be starving." She said as she stood up and walked away.

I smiled at her, but inside, I felt torn. She didn't need to know that, though. I can't leave Nanna alone. She hasn't been alone in such a long time, and on the other hand, I need to know how Zinnia feels. I need to know whether or not she is my missing half.

I just, I can't leave Nanna alone, not until she is ready. What if she's never ready?

So be it then.

Suddenly, she was in front of me, her face pulled in a weird smile.

"I have thought about it, and I think you should go."

"What, but you just said?"

"I will not leave you alone." I said incoherently.

She gave me a look of motherly affection-the sort you knew was just a mask because soon a hiding would follow before she continued;

“Eric, I'll pack the things you will need for your trip, but you are going. It is time for you to leave the nest. Yes, it is going to be hard at first, but I will survive. I have before and will again. And the sooner you leave, the sooner you will find her and then you can come home. I would like very much to meet her."

"Grandma, you don't understand..."

"I fully understand." she interrupted.

"Grandma, no, you don't understand she's... not human."

"I know, and I also know who she truly is but that you will need to find out for yourself as it is not my story to tell. Now go pack your things and I will pack you some food and sustenance for the road ahead."

I looked at her awestricken and a bit pissed off. She just smiled and gave me a hug.

"I love you, Nanna." I said, choking back a sob. Suddenly, I felt like a little boy again.

"I love you to my bo. That's why I'm letting you go. This is what is best for you."

She kissed me on the forehead, and then she disappeared.

I followed her example and disappeared as well.

When I got to my room, I honestly didn't know what to do next. (What am I supposed to do now?) I thought to myself, I knew my grandma gave me her blessing, but do I really want to leave her alone...

I slowly started throwing what I would need for the yourney into a backpack.

Something was bothering me.

I just could not figure it out. Then, a clattering of dishes and a gasp coming from the kitchen confirmed the paranoia I felt.