After losing her brother, Amaris feels lost and alone. But she is far from alone, she just doesn't know it yet. Unaware until her 18th birthday that she's a shifter, and not just an ordinary wolf, but a rare white wolf. When she meets her mate, she fights her attraction, overwhelmed by all of the changes coming at her. With both suspicions and emotions strong, is she ready to become a part of a pack? Is she ready to learn about who she truly is and where she comes from?
View More!!Trigger Warning!!
The following Prologue Contains acts of sexual violence, self-harm, and assault. Reader discretion is strongly advised.
Skip to Chapter One if being triggered is a possibility.
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Prologue
It's my eighteenth birthday and instead of celebrating, I'm standing alone in the pouring rain, shivers racking my body as I watch the casket being lowered down into the ground, my heart shattering as I say goodbye to the only person that I have ever been able to rely on in my whole life. Where do I go from here? Is this my life? Destined to be alone forever?My brother, Axel, and I grew up bouncing around foster homes, one after another. No one ever wanted us, at least that was how it always seemed. We almost had a family once. The Montgomery's had told us they wanted to adopt us. God, we were so excited. We were finally going to have a family. A place to call home. But then a few days later, all of our dreams went to shit when we came home to our bags packed and a social worker standing on the front porch, waiting for our return from school so that she could take us away.Away from the people who were supposed to give us a family.I don't know why they changed their minds. I've always felt as if I were...I don't even know how to put it into words...it was as if I didn't belong... Some of the places that we lived in were pretty nice. Nice as in the paint wasn't peeling from the walls and we didn't hear the sounds of rats scurrying across the floor throughout the night. Others may have not been dumps, but honestly, I would have rather been in a dump or even on the streets than have to stay in those places. And then there were the people themselves. Some of our foster dads, although they never tried anything, the way they watched me, always made me uncomfortable and if I said anything about it, no one ever believed me. But Axel always did.Because, although they never touched me—fuck, Axel, he...he had it so much worse because they did touch him. The things that they did to him...it turns my stomach, making me feel sick just to think about it. They were depraved, sick, and utterly disgusting.And it fucked him up really bad.And it only got worse as we got older. Not only did he receive abuse at home, but then he started to be abused at school, too. The boys began teasing him, looking down on him, finding him being gay a reason to treat him like scum.But things escalated quickly. Someone even raped him in the boys' locker room with the end of a hockey stick.A fucking hockey stick.And that had been his final straw.That is what made him take his own life.That is what made him leave me.I'd found his note on his desk when I went looking for him. After seeing the words, “Goodbye, Amaris. I'm sorry...” the letter fell from my fingertips as I looked around his room, searching for any sign of where he could be.That's when I heard the sound of a gunshot ring out from the backyard. When I took off out of his room and down the stairs, I already knew what I was going to find but I still pushed the backdoor open, stopping when I saw him lying on the ground, a handgun a few feet away from him.The next morning, after spending the night down at the police station, answering as many of their questions as I was able to, I dragged myself back up the stairs, entering his room instead of my own, stopping when I saw his letter laying on the floor where I'd dropped it.Bending over and reaching out, I picked it up with a shaky hand. Curling up in his bed, I read the note that he had left for me.He told me goodbye, explaining everything that had happened to him. It broke my heart as I read about all of the things that he'd kept locked inside, not having told a soul about the extent of the abuse that he'd suffered both at home and at the hands of our peers.As I read the letter, over and over again, tears streamed down my cheeks, my breathing becoming choked as I gasped, sobbing.Axel wrote about the locker room incident, about the group of boys who'd taken turns holding him down and raping him with the end of a hockey stick. Another student walked in, saw what was happening, and turned back around, leaving the bathroom, not bothering to stop the abuse. The student acted as though he'd not heard Axel as he'd cried out for help. As he'd cried out for them to stop. Over and over again, he'd cried out for help, but help never came. At the end of the letter, he told me to seek out the captain of the hockey team. Which didn't make any sense.Kenton Clearwater is the captain of the hockey team—unless the cocky hockey player is the student that had walked into the bathroom and hadn't helped him.If that is the case then Kenton had failed him by walking away when he needed him the most.I had failed him by not knowing what he had been going through.The teachers at school had failed him by not seeing the signs of abuse.Our peers had failed him by being the ones that would torture him.Our foster father had failed him by being the one who was responsible for the abuse.And our foster mother had failed him by turning a blind eye to what was happening, all so they could continue to collect a check from the state each month.He'd been failed, over and over again, and there is nothing that anyone can do to change it or take it back.He was gone. He'd given in to the only choice that he felt that he'd had. And now, here I am.All alone.Amaris This is getting totally too weird! First Maxon and now Zach? What on earth is going on?From beside me, Zara glances toward Zach and then back at me, a look of shock on her face. “Zach!” she gasps. “What about Rayna! I thought—You know she has been waiting forever for you!”Zach tosses his sister a frown. “I don’t know why! I have never looked twice at her. So, whatever it is that you thought, you’re wrong.”With a shake of her head, Zara argues, “No! That’s not true and you know it! What about—”“Zara!” Zach snaps, interrupting her. Then growls, “That is enough!” Although she is clearly irritated and confused with her brother, I also feel confusion, and maybe even a little resentfulness toward me, coming off Zara. Which irritates me because I have done nothing to give him the impression that I have interest in him in anything other than a friend.Without casting a second glance back in either of our directions, she huffs and then changes into her wolf form, bolting away and i
Amaris It’s been a week since Maxon and I had our moment out in that field and I still can’t wrap my head around it. The draw between us is undeniable. It’s not as strong as the pull towards Kenton, but it’s definitely still there, and that fact alone confuses me. I mean, I have a mate. So, why am I drawn to someone else? The back of my neck prickles with the feeling of being watched, but I don’t have to turn and look to see who it is. It’s him. It’s always him. He watches me just as much, if not even more, as I watch him. Because I do watch him, even when I don’t mean to. I’ll be thinking about something, not even paying attention, and then the next thing I know, my eyes are locked on him and I’m tracking his every movement, analyzing everything about him. When he watches me, it doesn’t appear to be out of curiosity, but because of the pull. The longing that I find in his eyes when I catch him looking is clear as day. He doesn’t know that I have a mate. No one knows that
AmarisMaxon stays quiet as I relay my story, his face remaining expressionless, which is as irritating as all heck, because I can’t even begin to tell what he’s thinking—for all I know, he thinks I belong in a looney bin—and with how I grew up, maybe I do—but that’s not the point at the moment. The point is that I’m pouring my heart out to this relative stranger and I’m getting absolutely nothing in return.“So, after opening a gorge in the earth and then finding myself surrounded by a pack of wolves, I took off. It was all too much.”“So, let me get this straight,” he says, biting his full bottom lip as he considers his next words. “You had a twin brother. Your wolf has a snow-white coat and you have powers?”“I know. I sound crazy, but it’s the truth.” I say, preparing myself for him to laugh in my face, but he doesn’t. He grins, but it isn’t in the way I was expecting. It’s not condescending.“I believe you.” He simply states, completely taking me by surprise.“Y—you believe me?”
AmarisI jolt awake; the urge to get out of here is all-consuming.What is going on? I ask, the need for answers just as strong as the need to bolt.‘Something—' she begins but then stops, as if reanalyzing whatever is making us feel this way. Then, suddenly, panic surges throughout my entire body as she states, ’Mate! Something is coming that will put him in danger. We cannot go to him yet, we must prepare.’Again? I question, wondering what I’ve gotten myself into and if this guy even knows the meaning of keeping himself out of trouble. We have to prepare, now?’Yes, now!’ She states, urging me to get a move on. ’There is no time to waste!’Knowing that there isn’t any point in arguing any further, I get dressed and then quickly but quietly make my way through the pack house, intent on not waking any of the other people who are more than likely still asleep—much like I would still like to be—especially with our keen sense of hearing, which, with my human upbringing, is something tha
Kenton“Fuck,” I growl, my head throbbing as I try to pry my eyes open, the overhead sun too bright. “What the hell happened?” I mutter to myself, not expecting any sort of an answer in return.“It feels like we fell off of a fucking cliff,” Asher groans from somewhere close by, prying my eyes open, I find that he’s laying on the ground a few feet away from me, with Boone not far from him on his other side.I look around at our surroundings, not paying attention as Asher crawls over to Boone and tries to rouse him. A cool evening wind blows around us, kicking up fallen leaves along with the scent of something unmistakably familiar. Reaching out, I grasp ahold of a handful of leaves and bringing them to my face, inhaling deeply. The scent of earth is the first thing that I recognize, but underneath that is that familiar mouthwatering scent that I would recognize anywhere. ‘Mate’, my wolf growls, thrusting himself to the forefront just as I begin scenting the air around us more thoroug
AmarisWe cover the distance back to the pack quickly, so quickly that to my still trying to acclimate mind, it shouldn’t be possible to cover so much ground in such a short amount of time. By the time Glendon meets the four of us at the tree line, the sounds of the battle fought are long gone and are now replaced by the painful cries of the wounded, and the anguished wails of those who lost friends or loved ones.Glendon’s appearance is broken and full of sorrow-as the Alpha, he feels each loss on a level that only other Alpha’s who have also experienced loss can understand.The streets that, just yesterday were filled with kids playing and families enjoying time out in the sun together, are now littered with the bodies of both friends as well as those that attacked them.“Dad,” Zach says, coming up to his father, but the Alpha merely holds his hand up to stop him. It’s only by that action that I realize that his entire body is shaking. Looking at him closer, I take in his closed, pi
AmarisAs we make our way back toward the Midnight pack lands, I finally dredge up the courage to ask Zane something that’s been bothering me since we left Kenton. *How did you know who Kenton was?*He turns his sandy blonde head in my direction, his blue eyes appraising as if he’s trying to figure out if I’m trying to hide something. And I guess I am, but I’m not going to let him know that.He chuffs, then turns to face back forward again. Part of my alpha training is to know who all of the Alpha’s and upcoming Alpha’s are in all packs, as well as their beta’s.That makes sense. So, you knew who Asher was too? I ask, curious.Yes, he says simply. Then, without another word, he runs to catch up with his siblings, leaving me behind to ponder my thoughts.After seeing Kenton today, and now knowing more about shifter life, and having come to grips with the fact that I too am a shifter, I can’t deny that I’m drawn to him. That I feel things for him I’ve never felt towards anyone else be
AmarisAs I close the distance, I shift back to my human form, smoothly transitioning from running on four paws to two feet. It’s been less than twelve hours since I first got the feeling that something was wrong, but I still fear at what I’m going to find when I make it to the Range Rover.Climbing up between trees, I wind my way over to the driver’s side and lean down, looking into the window to see if there is any sign of life within the vehicle.Gasping, I quickly pull the door open, Kenton’s large body falling out onto the ground with the action.“Kenton,” I shout, moving to stand over him just as I hear the other three pulling the two more doors open.“There are two more in here,” Zach calls, his voice echoing slightly in the cab.Crap! Crap! Crap! I mutter over and over again as I try to find the pulse in Kenton’s neck. “Oh, thank Christ!” I say with a relieved sigh when I find a strong pulse beating against my fingertips.“He’s alive. I think he’s just knocked out,” I say as
Amaris “Ugh,” I groan as I land on the dark gray mat covering the floor of the gym within the training grounds. “Come on, Princess,” Zach goads, knowing that I absolutely hate that nickname. “If you can’t stay on your feet while fighting me, how do you plan to take on our enemies, or any other threat?” “Fuck you!” I snarl as I flip, landing back on my feet and immediately charging him, launching into a roundhouse kick, barely holding back a laugh as he drops to the floor with a groan of his own. Ever since early this morning, something has felt off, like something is wrong, but I don’t know what. My wolf has said nothing, but I know that she has retreated to the far recesses of my mind. Kenton. His name echoes through my mind, just as it had early this morning when the feeling hit me out of nowhere, but I wonder if the thoughts of my mate have something to do with my wolf’s longing to be with him. I’d dreamt of him after finally falling asleep this morning, but it was more like
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