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79. The One Where The Nightmares Are Back
Last Updated:
2022-12-26 17:31:58Related chapters
Always is not Forever 80. The One Where He Tries
Reviving out of that horrible night, I steered into the kitchen to get a glass of water and clear the confusion in my mind. Two more weeks and his birthday would be there and my nightmares were nowhere on stop. Two weeks more and I would tie myself in a relationship that wouldn't matter if I couldn't be truthful to him.Taking a seat in the kitchen, I clutched my head in my hands, cursing at the past for taking me out of one person who loved me too much and would despise me if it ever got out.Dragging a shaky breath, I went to my room and stared at the pink teddy bear of my height and smiled at the memory stored in it."Can I untie it now?" I whined at my stupid boyfriend. The black cloth tied around my eyes was irritating me, the smell of Mehandi in my hands was sickening me.Even after a week, the smell hadn't faded nor it was ready to be gone."Hush, baby!" He dragged me by the shoulders. "I have a birthday surprise for you.""You already gave me a birthday gift.""That black jacke
Last Updated : 2022-12-26Always is not Forever 81. The One Where I Promise to Face It
A hand rested on my waist, but I shrug it off and paid attention to my book placed in front of me. Again his hand came to my shoulder, and I slipped it off with my hands. After a minute, his lips came to my cheek and I groaned irritatedly. "Alina—" "Will you stop touching me?!" I shouted at Kabir, turning my head. "I'm trying to study, will you let me?" "Why are you getting so worked up?" He scoffed, standing up from the couch. "It has been four months since we last kissed each other. You don't even let me touch you anymore," His sentence ended in pain. "You move away whenever I am near." Because I was scared of what it would do to our relationship. I was scared you would leave me alone and I would imagine you further as him. Even when I wasn't sleeping, I felt a flicker of him in you. I was just trying to protect both of us. "Kabir, I'm not free," I forced out. "My book is released. I'm busy with it. Then there is college and studies. My life doesn't revolve around just kissing
Last Updated : 2023-02-28Always is not Forever 82. The One Where I Get Ready
Parting the lid of my laptop, I entered the password and met the screen before clicking on the facetime and talk to her. Tomorrow was the day when I would reveal everything to Kabir and then hear the proposal he had for me, hear if he even wanted to go through it anymore.Crossing my legs on the bed, I connected to her, and within minutes, Dr. Sha's face became visible to me."How's everything, Alina?" She asked."Confused." I twisted my lips to her answer. "Tomorrow is Kabir's birthday." She nodded. "He's going to propose me on his birthday."The calm look on her face slipped for a second before she maintained it again. "That's fast," She answered, a bit of frown visible on her forehead as I toyed with the edge of my top. "Marriage means—""I know," I cut her off. "But he's ready to wait.""Did you talk to him?" She asked."Talk what? Tell him he's my nightmare? That how his girlfriend is scared of him? Then no, I haven't told my boyfriend that I imagine him as Rishi now and that I'm
Last Updated : 2023-02-28Always is not Forever 83. The One Where I Never Get The Chance
Leaving on our floor, I walked to our apartment, and instead of ringing the bell, I used the key and entered.Staring into the distance, I frowned at the darkness and pressed the buttons at my side. All I saw was the emptiness of the apartment we used to live in. That was his preparation."Kabir, this preparation sucks!" I shouted. "Too much. What happened?" Laughing, I searched for him on the terrace but all I found was emptiness. "Kabir, where are you?" Scared, I went inside again but he was nowhere to be found. Running to his room, I found it was empty.Where was he?"Kabir, this is a sick joke. Where are you?" I shouted, angered laying at the words I threw at him.Annoyed, I took my phone out to find missed calls from him. I forgot turning it to normal. Quickly, I called him and he answered it. "Bookworm.""Where are you? If you're going to propose me on phone, I will slap you. I dressed up."He chuckled. "Sit down on the sofa.""But—""Sit down." A fear coursed through my veins f
Last Updated : 2023-02-28Always is not Forever 84. The One Where She Dies
"Kabir, what are you doing?" I stared at the polythene in his hand. "And what is that?""You stop cooking." He placed the polythene in the slab, strolled forward to stand next to the stove and turned it off. "We have a chef now." Peering at him with a sheepish smile, I placed the knife out of my sight and paid my attention to his whining face. "Come with me.""But I need to cook. It's a stress reliever. I just completed a hectic project and assignment, and laptop screen is making me sick," I tried to argue but one look from him shushed all my protests. "I will still cook. Get out of the kitchen."He regarded me for a couple of seconds before placing his hand on the knife. "You want to be a housewife?""No. Why?""Cooking." He nodded at the fried potatoes. "I don't mind but—""Shut up. Cooking is a necessity." Scoffing at his confused face, I took the knife from his hands and started cutting the tomatoes. "If I love cooking, it makes me a housewife?" He twisted his lips at the corner,
Last Updated : 2023-02-28Always is not Forever 85. The One Where I Remember Everything
Not bothered by Dhruv's words, I latched the car door open and sprinted into the house. Five hours since he conveyed to me about the news of the death. Five hours since he didn't pick his phone again whilst I tried to swallow another piece of a tragedy of my life."Papa!" I shouted in the mansion. "Papa!"He came out of his room, frown resided in his face as he faced me. "Alina."Seeing him, I ran and hugged him tightly as if it would keep the nightmares at bay, stop the horrifying dreams knocking at my door, halt the bad news stringing one after another without caring the state of my heart.Why was everything happening at once?"Is it true?" My voice came muffled in his chest."Yes. Do you want to see her body? It's supposed to be burned by five.""She can't go to burial grounds," Mom's voice heckled our talks. "She's not married.""Bullshit," Dad cursed. "You know I don't believe in such stuff. Let's go?" Dad promoted. I nodded in his chest, withdrew back a little and had no tears l
Last Updated : 2023-02-28Always is not Forever 86. The One Where It's Too Much
"Alina, are you okay?" My therapist snapped her fingers in front of me. Reviving out of that day, I nodded and clutched my knees to the chest, rocking back and forth. "You dozed off there.""Why she did it?" I asked, staring into the distance. "She said she was like my mother. Which mother does that? Plan their own child rape?"It had been a week since I saw the blocked memories of mine, realized she knew it all the way and had helped him because of some money. It was always about money. Wasn't it? So my innocence was traded for money. My whole life was traded for money.It felt like I had been involved in prostitution.Which human do that to another? How could she see me like this every single day? She was worse than any person I had ever met. She was worse than him. At least, he showed his true colors. She stayed behind and let him do anything."Still traumatic?" She asked, and for the first time, I sensed pity in her voice."More than traumatic." I leaned my head on the back, stari
Last Updated : 2023-02-28Always is not Forever 87. The One Where I Start Anew
***"Papa, I'm scared." Fiddling with my fingers, I peered at his neutral smile. "All of them are strangers."He unbuckled his seatbelt and twisted his body to see me. "And like you," he pointed out, grabbed the brown packet of Subway from my hands. "Do you want me to come?""What if I fall apart?" I stared down at my lap. "What if they thought I was lying? What if I'm not strong to face them?""Who says that?" Everyone. "Come on. I will take you. You're so scared." He chuckled."No!" I waved my hands at him to sit on his side of the car whilst I unbuckled my seat belt. "This is not my first day of school.""You hadn't cried on your first day of school." He laughed at my shocked behavior. "Everybody was crying but you were too happy. Your mom was confused. I was confused. You weren't scared of leaving us." He patted my cheek. "You were never scared. You cannot be scared now. I'm here. Your papa is here.""And he supports me?" I repeated.At least Kabir did one good thing. His leaving
Last Updated : 2023-02-28
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Always is not Forever 120. The One Where He Proposes
Rubbing my neck with the hand, I felt his presence on my back. "What is he doing here?"I turned to face him. "Kabir--""Alina, no." He cornered me, caging between his body by placing both of his hands on the counter table. "It's ten at the night.""He came. I couldn't say him to leave.""Or you could have said it's not ideal for him to come," He shot back, straining lines visible on his forehead. "You looked uncomfortable. Did he say something?"Nothing just confessed it to me and I had no idea why he thought he loved me when he knew nothing about me except the things I shared in the support group when he had no idea how needy I was, how I seek for attention."No," I whispered. "You got late.""Work." Pranit voice from the hall echoed in the kitchen and Kabir's eyes darkened. "I hate him. When I see him, I see how you said you loved him." But it was a lie. I was trying to hurt you, make you see how you leaving had impacted me. "I know you both have same past," He dragged a shaky brea
Always is not Forever 119. The One Where I Reject Him
"Come again?" Dr. Sha asked, her hands flying from right to left, hitting the ping pong ball with the red colored bat.Hitting with my bat, I tried to dodge her attempts to make me lose a point. "Why are we playing ping pong?""Don't you get bored staying in a room?""Kind of."But this wasn't what I had expected when she called for an outside meeting instead in her building's cabin. I had thought a café maybe, or someplace quiet but she had surprised by calling me to a club and assured nobody would come in this room."Your dad was ready to allow it.""His friend owns the club," I mumbled dryly, the sound of the hitting echoing in the four walls."And he loves you," She pointed out, smashing the ball and before I could hit, it flew from my side. "And you lost a point.""Funny," Grumbling, I walked to one of the corners, picked the ball and started the game again. The sweat had started forming on the forehead, my grip on the handle of the bat was losing, my wrists were aching. What was
Always is not Forever 118. The One Where I Face It At Last
Yawning, I closed my books and stretched my legs. Getting up from the bed, I walked out of the room to find something to eat. Switching on the lights, I found a note stuck to the refrigerator.Food is in the microwave. You were sleeping. Must be hard practice 😝 Ps. Heat and eat.Chuckling at her handmade emoji, I crumbled the note and threw it in the dustbin before opening the microwave and found the plate in it. She never forgot about me. Twitching my lips, I brought the plate out and grabbed a spoon.Cold food was better than hot food and she wouldn't understand that.She wouldn't understand why I had gone straight to the bed after coming back from college, she wouldn't understand how much it was killing to know that how deep secrets we both were holding.Before I could take a spoon, the kitchen walls were invaded by the screams.Alina.Dropping the spoon, I sprinted to her room, opened the gate and saw her struggling in her bed. She hadn't gotten any dreams since she had started s
Always is not Forever 117. The One Where He Knows
"I still think you shouldn't go," Kabir's voice brought me back to present.Shaking my head, I tried to remove the memory. It was before I had started imagining him as Rishi, it was before when we were happy and there used to nothing other than nightmares to trouble our relationship.Now we had to be careful. This careful was getting on my nerves."It's fine," I stated, changing the song on the stereo of the car."Here." He passed me his phone, connected it to the black aux cable. "Listen any you want."Taking his phone, I went through the songs, ignoring the EDMs he loved to hear and settled on something soft to not make him hyper."Now, Dhruv and you. You're traveling too much.""I'm not. He needs me. He's all alone, handling Ria." I curled on the seat. "She's too small. She needs to see people love her despite her father leaving for jobs. And Dhruv deserves a break.""I get you're worried. We all are." He dabbed his palm on the horn. "But look at yourself. You're squeezing your sch
Always is not Forever 116. The One Where I Miss
[ A L I N A ' S P O V ]Gripping the pen tightly, I wrote down the explanation of the sonnet, completing the work that had been due last night. I blamed it on my over-worrying boyfriend who couldn't keep his mouth shut on why I was traveling this much. From past two months, I had been pacing back and forth between Bangalore and Delhi every weekend.He was getting angry.And I was getting pissed.Sighing, I placed the pen between the pages. Just two more lines, Alina and then you could go and shower to remove the aftermath of mediation and yoga."What you writing?" Hearing him, I levitated my head to stare at his face, but then, my gaze dropped to his chest.Where was his shirt? And why the hell wasn't I changing my gaze?Gulping, I paid attention to the white pages, overwritten by my hands. "Sonnet explanation. College work. You didn't go to GYM?""I'm taking a time off for a while," he answered, moving across the kitchen to grab a bowl for himself and picked the milk carton from m
Always is not Forever 115. The One Where Reality Is Out
***"You!" Shouting, I shut the door of her cabin. Jennifer looked up from the files. "In my cabin now."She raised her eyebrows in amusement and nodded. Who told her to tell lies to Alina? I got her teasing on me, I accepted it but feeding lies to her wasn't acceptable. I was an inch away from losing Alina again. Inch away to destroy all the progress we both had made after getting back together.Taking a deep breath, I entered my office and turned to face her. Yesterday, I had spent all my day to get new clothes before selling my old clothes and helping Alina with the packing.She was moving back with me. Good. I could see clearly how she was scared of me.Jennifer stepped in. "Now that's the Kabir I know. Angry and dominating one."Rolling my eyes, I nodded my head to the money placed on the table. "You're leaving India in next twenty-four hours. This is your pay. You're no longer my assistant.""I answer to your father, not to you." She crossed her arms over her chest. "He sent me.
Always is not Forever 114. The One Where The Past Begins
Staring ahead at the scene, I smiled and tapped my fingers on her arm. She turned with a smile and slipped her hand around my waist."I missed you.""You did?""Yup," She grinned. "Don't go again."Laughing lightly, I was about to reply when her figure disappeared from my arms and all I could see was the face of her house perched in front of me. What was I doing here? I was in our apartment, meeting her after a long time.A hand tugged on my shirt. Peering down, I stared at the girl."Kabir, save me." Confused by her statement, I wondered what she was talking about me. "Save me, Kabir," She cried, thumping her hand on my chest. "You promised you'll save me. Save me now."She took a run inside the house. Frowning a bit, I followed her inside, took the flight of stairs and entered the room I hadn't been into for past three years.Wasn't it burned? Wasn't it locked?My feet thumped on the old familiar room, looking for the small girl but, all I found was Alina standing at the corner, sta
Always is not Forever 113. The One Where We Solve
Presenting a smile, I stood up, took the clothes and strode to her bathroom. Shedding the rest of my clothes, I entered the shower and cleaned the disgusting things sticking to my body. When I checked for a shower gel and shampoo, I found the girly stuff and sighed. Looks like I would be smelling like her until the morning.As I was washing my hair, all the previous month we had spent together started biting my places. She was too distant from me. Her words seemed to be held and assessed carefully. Maybe moving in with me would change everything, maybe we would be different then, maybe we would back to our love life.But what about the insecurities? How would I solve them?"Kabir, are you done?" She knocked the door. "Was I too harsh? Is it not removing? Do you need my help?""Yes, it's not removing!" I shouted back, smirking. "Help me.""Tie a towel."Looking around the shower, I grabbed the towel from the upper shelve and tied it around my waist. "Done." My eyes remained glued to th
Always is not Forever 112. The One Where I Become A Joke
Alina's expression didn't change, her hands remained still at her side, her eyes narrowed at me."You're lying." Again, the same sentence. "She saw you without clothes.""I'm aware," I confessed. "Once she came in my penthouse. I was roaming in my briefs and she saw it." Seeing her expression, I added quickly, "I did yell at her for disturbing my privacy. I changed the code too. I didn't know she knew about it. She purchased the penthouse. I should've been aware.""But you kissed her." She clutched the arms of the chair tightly. And that was the reason I didn't want to tell her. "I can't stop imagining when you kissed her." She dragged a long, shaky breath before facing me, turmoil residing in her black eyes. "You wanted to forget me?" With reluctance, I nodded. "Was I that bad?""No, I just love you too much," I replied honestly. "Wouldn't you have done anything to forget me?""True." Standing on her toes, she trudged to my side, caught my face in her hands and inched it closer to he
