"In every part of the universe, you're going to stay angry at him?" Kriti mused, but a smirk was apparent on her face. It was amusing for her how Kabir and I were fighting, ignoring each other for past few days.
Ignoring her jab, I removed the cover from the flowers and put them in the vase. Glancing down at the rotten flowers, I smoothed down one of their petals with a sad smile. How ironical. We love them at the first, but when they start to wither, they were just a thing of a sore eye. All they desired was love and care of someone to realize how important were they, that once you loved them and you can love them again.
"I'm not angry at him," I stated, slouching on my hostel bed. "I was at first, but not now. I can see from where he came, but he lied."
She hummed, walking steadily around the small room of mine and Fiza. "Good thing she's not here," she said, "She gets on my nerves every single time. How do you handle her?"
"She has a good heart."
"Ah, sweet Alina, thou hast cleft my heart in twain," She said dramatically.
Squinting my eyes at her, I replied, "I haven't broken your heart by praising someone else."
"A one who doesn't deserve." She danced around the small places, letting her fingers brush through the spine of my novels and took one out. "I'm taking it."
A small voice in mine argued to not let her take it. Who knew how was her care for the books? What if she ruined it or put her coffee mug on top of it or wear the edges? I was being insane. She wouldn't do it, and I need to relax down. It was just a book. She would return it to me as soon as possible.
With a heavy heart, I nodded and laid down on my bed, seeing the white blank ceiling and missing the one in my home. I had pasted stars on it, that glowed in the darkness. It felt like even when it was dark, stars would shine on top of mine, guiding and showing me a path to the light. It made me see that only in darkness we could see the light and understand its value.
It was Kabir's idea.
A sudden ache erupted in my heart, clenching it bit by bit. The day when we fought reeled back in my head and the pain intensified. Closing my eyes, I took deep breaths, focusing myself back to the present. It was done. It was over and we were apart because we were different from each other and he lied to me.
He lied to me because I'm sick.
I groaned lowly under my breath.
"Are you okay?" I could hear the concern in her voice.
"Yeah," I forced out. "Just tired after college. Do you wanna go out?" I sat on my bed, staring at her, but before she could reply, the door of the room opened and Fiza entered with she wasn't alone. When I stared at her back, I realized a boy was with her. An unknown boy.
What the hell? Boys weren't allowed in the hostel.
I stood up abruptly, shock plastered on my face, but it was Kriti who asked, "Boys are allowed in the hostel? I didn't know that, but Kabir told me they weren't." She faced me. "That's why he never came. You lied to him?"
"I didn't!" I hissed. "What-"
"Rules are boring," Fiza said and dropped her handbag on her bed. She swirled and smiled at the boy, while I clutched my wrist tightly under my arm. The room was packed with people, not enough air to breath.
My gaze maundered across the room, looking for a sign to breath. Too many people, not much space. My eyes stung, but I pushed it back and took deep breaths. In and out. In and out. It had to be done.
"But they're rules," Kriti stated. "You pervert, get out of here. This room doesn't belong to your wannabe."
Kriti and Fiza stared at each other, compelling another to back down. Their fight wouldn't die down just like that. I had no idea what problem this two harbour for each other. In the starting, they used to get along fine, but later it changed, Kriti developed a sting eye for her. However, she never told me to part away.
Fiza turned her face to mine. "Alina, it's just studying. I promise."
"Do it in the library," I said, tightening my grip on my wrist.
She hesitated before replying, "He needs to speak and you know how is our librarian. Please. Understand. You know I won't do anything to put us in trouble."
I side glanced at Kriti, who was busy glaring at the boy standing at the door. Maybe I was thinking over, maybe it was just an innocent study and I had to get over it. Like Kabir said, I couldn't blame every single man I meet for the sins committed by that bastard. I had to get over it and maybe my decisions were still influenced by what happened. Always on alert, not losing myself and being carefree.
With a troubled smile, I said, "Fine, but he should not be here after 6. You shouldn't do anything inappropriate in this room. And, as long I'm here, keep him out or do it in the library. I don't care how much troubling it's for you. Else I'm telling the warden."
Shock plastered on her face. "You wouldn't."
"I would." I stared back at her. I would do anything to protect myself, even if it meant fighting with my friends. My safety was far more important to me.
"Have you gone mad, Alina?" Kriti hissed at me. "A boy is in your dorm room. What would Kabir say?"
"As far as I remember Kabir and I are fighting. And he doesn't make decisions for me," I said firmly. I was tired of hearing what Kabir would say, how Kabir would react. Was in this relationship my all actions depended on Kabir? Wasn't I my own person? "Can we go now? He would be gone when I'll be back."
I grabbed my sandals from the side, wore them and without glancing at Fiza, I went out of the room along with Kriti who shook her head at me.
"That girl will land you in a big trouble one day."
"Then what am I suppose to do, Kriti?" I demanded. "Ask her to kick him out. Do you think she would've have done that? She would've hidden it from me, carried him through some other way. At least I'm aware right now."
"You can change rooms."
How do I explain it wasn't that easy? Changing rooms would require coaxing to some other girl, learning to adapt to her and I wasn't ready for it again. It took a lot of me to adjust a room with Fiza, and going through that again would only wear me down more and it was the last thing I required. I couldn't take more medicines, aware of what they would do to me.
"I don't wanna talk about it. Let's grab a coffee and you wanted to shop."
She gave me a disbelief look, but didn't ponder on the subject anymore and nodded.
Paying the cabbie, we hopped off and I stared at the place in front of me."They have the best coffee. Trust me." Swallowing my doubts, I followed her into the place and the sudden smell of coffee made me a dizzy a bit but I controlled it. Too much strong.Looking around the place, I found a table at the corner of the place and pointed my direction to it. Walking through the aisle, we settled and I stared down at the menu."What are-""Hey." Hearing his voice, I clutched the menu tighter and glared at Kriti, who only shrugged her shoulders in reply.What was he doing here? Didn't he have his GYM at this time? And I thought we were on the place of ignoring each other, refusing to acknowledge each other mistakes and behaving stubborn and rooted on our grounds.When I had explained all this to Nisha, she had cursed Kabir and offered to talk to him, but I brushed her off. She had more important problems in her own life, and no matter what happened between us, it was supposed to stay betwee
K A B I R P O V :-Boarding off the plan, I slung my laptop bag tighter around my shoulders and listened to the announcement vibrating above me.Belt 5.There I would get my luggage. My eyes were weary from the lack of the sleep. When I had woken up, I had made up my mind to sleep in the flight, but all thanks to the person sitting next to me who had forgotten to bring his headphones. Being polite, I had even offered my headphones but he had looked at him as if I had done a crime.Whatever.Rubbing my fist against my closed eyes, I followed the directions to the belt 5 and waited for my luggage to come.I should at least call Alina, but wouldn't it be early? She must be getting ready for the college, or still sleeping, as far as I knew her. How would she get to college?College is within walking distance.Yeah, but. I shook my head, endeavoring to shake off the worry laying behind them. It wasn't like she was all alone in Bangalore, and she couldn't handle herself. We were fightin
"Where is Dhruv?" I asked the house taker, and she pointed her finger to his room. Muttering weak thanks, I climbed up the stairs, jumping one after another. Forgetting all my manners of knocking the door, I opened it with a grin. "I'm bac—Fuck! Damn it! Dhruv yaar! Darwaza toh lock kr lia kr.!" Two bodies scrambled out of the bed. Cursing further, I stepped out of the room and took a deep breath to clear my vision of the horror I had just witnessed. I had seen Dhruv shirtless, but this damn it. Huh! I was going to vomit. "Don't vomit all over the floor." A voice interrupted my thoughts. Pulling my gaze, I saw a lean boy standing in front of me. "Rahul. Hey. You were here?" He nodded. "Left to the living room when I heard the moans. Didn't you hear them?" I shook my head. "I was too excited to meet him. Fuck my eyes." He laughed out loud, slapping my back. I glared at him, shoving his hand off my back. I wonder what his reactions would be to find almost two naked bodies. "I sho
[ A L I N A ' S P O V ]"You should've called your dad." Meenu Auntie chided me as soon as she caught my luggage bag. A frown settled on her face, disappointment covered her whole face, but I ignored it and stared at my wrist and traced the path of the bandage."I did," I said emotionlessly. "He didn't pick up."Called him after a month, called everyone after a month, conveying I would be next week because I was going worried sick about Kabir's mother because I was scared staying alone in the hostel among few girls. I had thought of staying in Kabir's apartment, but then let the thought sail away.See them once and get over it. Get over because you need to.Putting my luggage at the back, she sat back with me and told the cabbie the address to home."What about this secrecy?" She demanded.When nobody had picked up the call, I had called Meenu Auntie, informing her and she was delighted I was coming back. I had told her I would catch a cab, but she hushed down my plans and informed s
"Kabir, where are we going?" I caught his hand to stop his movements. The street was strange to me, no doubt every street in Bangalore was strange to me. I didn't get much time to wander around. Kriti had said we would explore the city on the weekend in her activa.He rolled his eyes, grinning. "Remember we played twenty questions once and you told me you love Punjabi food after South Indian?" I nodded. "And last night you were complaining that you're sick of sambhar." I nodded along with his words, growing restless. "Damn woman, stay calm." He laughed. "This street has best Punjabi food.""Is it?""Of course, my foodie girl.""I'm not a foodie.""You are." He slung his arm across my neck, pushing us inside the restaurant. "You ate the whole pizza last weekend.""I was hungry," I argued. "I'm never coming to your apartment again."To my reply, he smirked and pulled the chair back. "My lady. Shall we?"I sat down and gleamed at his side. "Do you realize we've never gone out like a date?
A knock interrupted me from the reading. Pushing my glasses, I stood up, unlocked the door and opened it.Dad was standing outside with a tray in his hand."You were hungry." I stepped aside, letting him enter. He had changed his clothes to casual. Placing the tray on the bed, he waited for me to join him. Sighing, I settled opposite to him as he revealed the dishes and the mug of hot chocolate. "Sorry, you had to hear that.""Papa." He levitated his gaze upwards. "I'm sorry for not picking your call.""You must be busy," He didn't mean it as a taunt or snide remark. He hoped I was busy."I wasn't," I squeezed my eyes tightly."Oh." Happiness wore down his face. "Then why? I thought everything was okay between us.""I'm sorry." I shook my head rapidly, curled my hand on top of my thigh. "I was mean. Forgive me.""Nothing to forgive, Alina. Just don't ignore my call again, okay? It worries me. When Kabir told you weren't coming, I was going to fly to Bangalore.""When you met Kabir?" I
"Akshay, this is Alina. Alina, this is my partner in crime," Kabir introduced us. "We used to play pranks on Nisha."Akshay dipped his head a bit, his face crackled in the glowing lights."You're the topic in our relatives." He grinned, and Kabir's look turned to tensed from playful. "Some guts you both have admitted your relationship and putting us all in danger. You should've kept it secret. These oldies won't let you live. Twenty-one and they'll be forcing you to marry."My eyes widened at his words, and frantically, I searched for Kabir's face, who shook his head at his brother."Don't scare her like that," Kabir hissed. "Alina, don't listen to him. He's mad." I nodded because accepting that was much better than the word his brother had pushed inside my brain. Marry? Was he absurd? I was just eighteen.Excusing myself, I engaged with Nisha and her cousins. It was much better than meeting with Akshay, but it wasn't for long they started asking me about Kabir. God, was this the only
[ K A B I R ' S P O V ]"Thanks for the gift." Nisha beamed beside me, but her whole attention was on the bracelet strapped to her wrist. It had cost me a fortune and I had no idea how dad would react to finding I had used too much from my debit card. He had set a limit for both me and Nisha, but I had overdone it this time. I could've gotten her a new dress, but it wasn't worth it. Her closet was filled with them, and she had all the supplies for her paints.And I was running late. So, in the end, along with Mom, I had gone to the jewelry shop. I had to give her something on Bhai Dooj."It must be expensive," She whispered, tensed."It's okay. You loved it. That's what matters.""But dad—""I'll handle it. Excited about England?" Dad informed her yesterday. She had been in shock but then jumped on the couch, screaming she was going to England and teasing me because I couldn't go.Some devil she was. She was getting back on the car thing."A lot." She smirked. "I'm going to miss y
Rubbing my neck with the hand, I felt his presence on my back. "What is he doing here?"I turned to face him. "Kabir--""Alina, no." He cornered me, caging between his body by placing both of his hands on the counter table. "It's ten at the night.""He came. I couldn't say him to leave.""Or you could have said it's not ideal for him to come," He shot back, straining lines visible on his forehead. "You looked uncomfortable. Did he say something?"Nothing just confessed it to me and I had no idea why he thought he loved me when he knew nothing about me except the things I shared in the support group when he had no idea how needy I was, how I seek for attention."No," I whispered. "You got late.""Work." Pranit voice from the hall echoed in the kitchen and Kabir's eyes darkened. "I hate him. When I see him, I see how you said you loved him." But it was a lie. I was trying to hurt you, make you see how you leaving had impacted me. "I know you both have same past," He dragged a shaky brea
"Come again?" Dr. Sha asked, her hands flying from right to left, hitting the ping pong ball with the red colored bat.Hitting with my bat, I tried to dodge her attempts to make me lose a point. "Why are we playing ping pong?""Don't you get bored staying in a room?""Kind of."But this wasn't what I had expected when she called for an outside meeting instead in her building's cabin. I had thought a café maybe, or someplace quiet but she had surprised by calling me to a club and assured nobody would come in this room."Your dad was ready to allow it.""His friend owns the club," I mumbled dryly, the sound of the hitting echoing in the four walls."And he loves you," She pointed out, smashing the ball and before I could hit, it flew from my side. "And you lost a point.""Funny," Grumbling, I walked to one of the corners, picked the ball and started the game again. The sweat had started forming on the forehead, my grip on the handle of the bat was losing, my wrists were aching. What was
Yawning, I closed my books and stretched my legs. Getting up from the bed, I walked out of the room to find something to eat. Switching on the lights, I found a note stuck to the refrigerator.Food is in the microwave. You were sleeping. Must be hard practice 😝 Ps. Heat and eat.Chuckling at her handmade emoji, I crumbled the note and threw it in the dustbin before opening the microwave and found the plate in it. She never forgot about me. Twitching my lips, I brought the plate out and grabbed a spoon.Cold food was better than hot food and she wouldn't understand that.She wouldn't understand why I had gone straight to the bed after coming back from college, she wouldn't understand how much it was killing to know that how deep secrets we both were holding.Before I could take a spoon, the kitchen walls were invaded by the screams.Alina.Dropping the spoon, I sprinted to her room, opened the gate and saw her struggling in her bed. She hadn't gotten any dreams since she had started s
"I still think you shouldn't go," Kabir's voice brought me back to present.Shaking my head, I tried to remove the memory. It was before I had started imagining him as Rishi, it was before when we were happy and there used to nothing other than nightmares to trouble our relationship.Now we had to be careful. This careful was getting on my nerves."It's fine," I stated, changing the song on the stereo of the car."Here." He passed me his phone, connected it to the black aux cable. "Listen any you want."Taking his phone, I went through the songs, ignoring the EDMs he loved to hear and settled on something soft to not make him hyper."Now, Dhruv and you. You're traveling too much.""I'm not. He needs me. He's all alone, handling Ria." I curled on the seat. "She's too small. She needs to see people love her despite her father leaving for jobs. And Dhruv deserves a break.""I get you're worried. We all are." He dabbed his palm on the horn. "But look at yourself. You're squeezing your sch
[ A L I N A ' S P O V ]Gripping the pen tightly, I wrote down the explanation of the sonnet, completing the work that had been due last night. I blamed it on my over-worrying boyfriend who couldn't keep his mouth shut on why I was traveling this much. From past two months, I had been pacing back and forth between Bangalore and Delhi every weekend.He was getting angry.And I was getting pissed.Sighing, I placed the pen between the pages. Just two more lines, Alina and then you could go and shower to remove the aftermath of mediation and yoga."What you writing?" Hearing him, I levitated my head to stare at his face, but then, my gaze dropped to his chest.Where was his shirt? And why the hell wasn't I changing my gaze?Gulping, I paid attention to the white pages, overwritten by my hands. "Sonnet explanation. College work. You didn't go to GYM?""I'm taking a time off for a while," he answered, moving across the kitchen to grab a bowl for himself and picked the milk carton from m
***"You!" Shouting, I shut the door of her cabin. Jennifer looked up from the files. "In my cabin now."She raised her eyebrows in amusement and nodded. Who told her to tell lies to Alina? I got her teasing on me, I accepted it but feeding lies to her wasn't acceptable. I was an inch away from losing Alina again. Inch away to destroy all the progress we both had made after getting back together.Taking a deep breath, I entered my office and turned to face her. Yesterday, I had spent all my day to get new clothes before selling my old clothes and helping Alina with the packing.She was moving back with me. Good. I could see clearly how she was scared of me.Jennifer stepped in. "Now that's the Kabir I know. Angry and dominating one."Rolling my eyes, I nodded my head to the money placed on the table. "You're leaving India in next twenty-four hours. This is your pay. You're no longer my assistant.""I answer to your father, not to you." She crossed her arms over her chest. "He sent me.
Staring ahead at the scene, I smiled and tapped my fingers on her arm. She turned with a smile and slipped her hand around my waist."I missed you.""You did?""Yup," She grinned. "Don't go again."Laughing lightly, I was about to reply when her figure disappeared from my arms and all I could see was the face of her house perched in front of me. What was I doing here? I was in our apartment, meeting her after a long time.A hand tugged on my shirt. Peering down, I stared at the girl."Kabir, save me." Confused by her statement, I wondered what she was talking about me. "Save me, Kabir," She cried, thumping her hand on my chest. "You promised you'll save me. Save me now."She took a run inside the house. Frowning a bit, I followed her inside, took the flight of stairs and entered the room I hadn't been into for past three years.Wasn't it burned? Wasn't it locked?My feet thumped on the old familiar room, looking for the small girl but, all I found was Alina standing at the corner, sta
Presenting a smile, I stood up, took the clothes and strode to her bathroom. Shedding the rest of my clothes, I entered the shower and cleaned the disgusting things sticking to my body. When I checked for a shower gel and shampoo, I found the girly stuff and sighed. Looks like I would be smelling like her until the morning.As I was washing my hair, all the previous month we had spent together started biting my places. She was too distant from me. Her words seemed to be held and assessed carefully. Maybe moving in with me would change everything, maybe we would be different then, maybe we would back to our love life.But what about the insecurities? How would I solve them?"Kabir, are you done?" She knocked the door. "Was I too harsh? Is it not removing? Do you need my help?""Yes, it's not removing!" I shouted back, smirking. "Help me.""Tie a towel."Looking around the shower, I grabbed the towel from the upper shelve and tied it around my waist. "Done." My eyes remained glued to th
Alina's expression didn't change, her hands remained still at her side, her eyes narrowed at me."You're lying." Again, the same sentence. "She saw you without clothes.""I'm aware," I confessed. "Once she came in my penthouse. I was roaming in my briefs and she saw it." Seeing her expression, I added quickly, "I did yell at her for disturbing my privacy. I changed the code too. I didn't know she knew about it. She purchased the penthouse. I should've been aware.""But you kissed her." She clutched the arms of the chair tightly. And that was the reason I didn't want to tell her. "I can't stop imagining when you kissed her." She dragged a long, shaky breath before facing me, turmoil residing in her black eyes. "You wanted to forget me?" With reluctance, I nodded. "Was I that bad?""No, I just love you too much," I replied honestly. "Wouldn't you have done anything to forget me?""True." Standing on her toes, she trudged to my side, caught my face in her hands and inched it closer to he