If anybody had told me six months ago that Dani and my dimwit brother would become an item, I’d have questioned their sanity. She’s sophisticated, intelligent and witty. And, well, he farts like a flatulent rhinoceros and is refined as those hillbillies on The Hills Have Eyes. Yet, they got together two weeks after the fire, when Dani expressed a sudden and mysterious desire to join me when I popped round to Steve’s to loan him The Walking Dead box set. I stayed for fifteen minutes. Dani stayed for four days. Her theory is that I am blind to Steve’s charm because he’s my brother. That he’s fun, loving, amusing and attentive. She also tried to tell me that he’s great in bed, but I acted like a grown up and stuck my fingers in my ears, while singing “la-la-la-can’t-head-you-la-la-la” until she stopped. As for Steve, well, he’s smitten. Honestly, she’s turned him into a puppy dog – albeit not a very cute one. Despite my reservations, they seem to be enjoying themselves. And for the
Chapter 1 - The Hangover Waking up with a pounding head, a dry mouth that has to be drier than a nun's downstairs, aching limbs and a random arm draped over my waist, I struggle to get up and then stumble to the bathroom. I rub my eyes and stare at the hungover, half dead panda-eyed loser staring back at me.How on earth is this my life? Who is that in my bed? Why can I not find Mr Right? Why do I always choose Mr Right-Now? Why am I always finding Mr Wrong? Surely I have dated them all - skinny boys, fat boys, still live with their mummy boys, sorry I can't stay boys and it's not you, it's me boys. When will I ever learn?And what is that damn smell? I quickly smell under my arm and then cup my hand and breathe into it, then smell. That smell would be me - holy shit. It's horrific, it's like something actually crawled into my mouth and died. How glamorous is my life?I’ve made it to the grand old age of 31 alive, a semi-decent job as a mortgage advisor, kept myself in reas
My head is pounding as I walk through my local area, it used to be a small area, however developers had thought that Kingswood was a desirable area and continued building new home after new home. I can’t complain too much. It’s become a self sufficient area, local shops, bars, restaurants, schools and even a health centre. What I care about now though is the lovely little cafe/restaurant that I’m heading to. The Village Green. They have a lovely breakfast and lunch menu. Just what I need, along with a drink to wash down some ibuprofen to ease this headache. I check my phone and see several messages from the girls. Laura, Ellie, Pavan and Katie are already there, having driven rather than walked. I don’t know how they dared, I must be at least three times over the legal drink drive limit still. Unless they didn’t put as much away as I did. There are messages from Heidi and Shelly saying they can’t make brunch, but let’s do drinks and takeaway tonight as they have to hear about my mo
Some might say that I don’t need another pair of heeled black shoes with a to-die-for heel. Particularly when, to the untrained eye, there are several similar pairs fighting for space under my bed. Others might point out that the success of a first date is never to do with the quality of footwear. That you’re just as likely to meet the love of your life in 99p flip-flops as in glorious sling-backs that cost . . . well, let’s not dwell on the cost. Let’s dwell instead on Rich, with whom I’m going on a date this evening. The gorgeous, intelligent, chisel-jawed, tight-arsed Rich. That way, you’ll understand about the shoes – and why, despite my strict rule that a first date will never result in sex, I have removed all trace of body hair so that my bikini area now resembles that of a French porn star. Just in case. The to-die-for shoes and enthusiastic depilation are but elements of a routine with which I’ve been a stranger to for the past eleven months.It was then that I was thrust b
*** CHAPTER TRIGGER WARNING *** “It was a disaster of epic proportions,” I declare. “I’m sure you’re exaggerating,” says Katie. “I’m not. By the end of the night, the look on his face was exactly the same as Daniel’s”The girls look at me blankly. “The accountant from before Christmas,” I add. “Which one was he again?” Pavan asks. “You know – the one who looked like a skinny Jason Mamoa.” Pavan shakes her head, still baffled. “The one whose nose I broke doing my “YMCA” routine,” I say reluctantly. “Ah. Well, The Village People always have had a lot to answer for.” Despite the quip, I can’t help noticing Pavan’s sympathetic look. It is a look with which I am tragically familiar. “Do you think you’re going to see him again?” She ventures. “Not unless he is run over, suffers a catastrophic head injury and he has a bout of amnesia and forgets what a moron he went out with.” “It can’t just have been the thing with the shoes, surely,” Katie says. “I mean, the thing with the shoes so
* * * One Week Later * * * “Let me get your bags,” I say as Scott struggles to get out of the car. His leg is in pot and he’s struggling to use his crutches. “I’ll help,” Pavan says. “You really don’t need to do this, Miss Emma,” he says shyly.“I wouldn’t have it any other way. I’ve considered you a friend for a long time and you also saved my life. It’s time for me to step up and be the friend you need. I should have done it sooner,” I tell him honestly.“I wouldn’t have accepted it before,” he replies truthfully.I know I’ll be eternally grateful and indebted to Scott for several lifetimes. Once Pavan leaves, I tell Scott I’m going for a shower. I spend what feels like hours sitting in the bath under the torrent of water as my tears escape. This is what I’ve resorted to since it happened, crying in the shower and letting the water wash my tears away. “Miss Emma, can we talk?” Scott says as he taps on the bathroom door.“I’ll just be a minute,” I tell him and turn off the shower
* * * One Year Later * * * * * * Emma’s POV * * * A year after starting at Herman Brown and I’ve just finished a huge career changing presentation. Something I never thought I’d have achieved two years ago after he who must not be named almost ruined my life. I thought I’d never be happy again, but today I feel life is finally going in the right direction. “How do you think it went?” I’m buzzing with adrenalin after one of my most important presentations ever. “I can’t believe you have to ask,” replies Danielle, perching on my desk. “The panel couldn’t have been more convinced if we’d bent down and given each of them a deep throat blow job.”I suppress a giggle and skim through the notes I scribbled during the meeting. I’ve worked for weeks on this pitch but if we win the client – a massive sports brand firm – it’ll be worth it. “You weren’t thrown by the question about contacts in the China?” I fret. “What’s with the lack of self-belief, Emma?” says Danielle, stuffing her red ha
My careers now on track, my life is moving forward and I’m order to stop Mark continuing to affect my life, I’ve decided it’s time to jump back on the dating wagon. But I haven’t practiced any self love since that night and my waistline shows it. My love-life will never get off the ground unless I endeavour to become thinner. Scott looks at me as if I am certifiably insane when I share this conclusion with him. I then explain that there is some logic behind the theory and I am not simply some Hello magazine-reading idiot who is obsessed with the size of her thighs, at which he points out that I love Hello magazine and spend more time contemplating the circumference of my legs than most people do inhaling oxygen. My argument is this: first, had I the bum of a seventeen-year-old gymnast champion and a washboard stomach that made Kate Hudson look like a pork-pie addict, I would radiate a level of self-assurance that would be irresistibly attractive. Secondly, were I possessed of such
If anybody had told me six months ago that Dani and my dimwit brother would become an item, I’d have questioned their sanity. She’s sophisticated, intelligent and witty. And, well, he farts like a flatulent rhinoceros and is refined as those hillbillies on The Hills Have Eyes. Yet, they got together two weeks after the fire, when Dani expressed a sudden and mysterious desire to join me when I popped round to Steve’s to loan him The Walking Dead box set. I stayed for fifteen minutes. Dani stayed for four days. Her theory is that I am blind to Steve’s charm because he’s my brother. That he’s fun, loving, amusing and attentive. She also tried to tell me that he’s great in bed, but I acted like a grown up and stuck my fingers in my ears, while singing “la-la-la-can’t-head-you-la-la-la” until she stopped. As for Steve, well, he’s smitten. Honestly, she’s turned him into a puppy dog – albeit not a very cute one. Despite my reservations, they seem to be enjoying themselves. And for the
The moment I see him I am balled over by how handsome he is, he’s irresistibly, mouth wateringly sexy. I’m looking at a man who, thanks to project Scott, is the ultimate manifestation of female desire. He turns heads wherever he goes. But that isn’t the reason I love him. It’s not the clothes, or the hairstyle, it isn’t even his body or face. The Scott I love is the funny, intelligent, caring, loyal and lovely person I met all those years ago. That’s the Scott I long for, the Scott I can’t spend another day without. The trimmings and display are irrelevant. “Hi there, Emma,” he grins. His grin becomes a smile and it sends a surge of Hope through my veins, turning my legs to jelly and killing my ability to speak. “Are you okay?” “Yes. I … yes,” I stutter. Emotion rushes through me and my heartbeat thuds in my chest, thundering in my ears. “I’m just surprised to see you,” I say once my words find their way back to me. “And… happy?” I nod as tears cloud my vision. “Ve
There’s one single word on the front: Emma. Seeing my name written in Scott’s very distinctive handwriting makes my heart pause and I gasp for breath. With my heart racing and fingers trembling, I open the envelope and head to my small balcony terrace. I throw myself into the chair, cross my legs and scan the letter, unable to devour its contents quick enough. ******** Dearest Emma, I’ve written this letter multiple times, and rewritten it in my mind at least a thousand times. Yet o never thought putting pen to paper would be so difficult. This is the eleventh copy and I’m still not happy with it. I thought about quoting your favourite poetry and literature but nothing seems appropriate enough to explain the situation, so it’s down to clumsy old me. There’s just one small problem; what do you say to the woman you’ve been in love with for years? From the moment I first met you, Emma, my life has been enhanced in a way I can’t fully explain. All those cold, wet and miserable aft
I try to think of an ingenious way to get through security. But after yet another infuriating conversation with another official, I’m forced to accept that the methods to combat terrorism are also enough to intervene when a unfit, scruffy and desperate woman. With an alarming and increasing level of determination I decide to buy a ticket to somewhere in Asia, just so that I can get through the security gates. But after another episode at the security desk, the fact that my passport is in a box at my new home is clearly a show-stopper. I stand in the airport in a confused daze, and take out my phone. I wanted to do this in person, but now I have no choice. I close my eyes and wait for the line to ring. It goes straight to voicemail. “Oh god,” I cry, but nobody notices. For almost an hour I pace up and down, trying to come up with a brilliant plan. But no matter how I try, nothing happens and no plan is formed. I look at my watch for the millionth time today and see that
I’m normally the safest driver in the world. Or at least that’s what I tell myself. Scott would say I drive like a grandma, behind the wheel , sticking to the speed limit and often below it. Scott, my heart aches. But with the needle on my speedometer touching a perilous 74mph – okay, so I’m not the next Schumacher or Hamilton, but I’m belting along the M62 in a small Vauxhall corsa leaving behind a caravan and two heavy duty trucks. My heart is hammering against my ribcage as I play corny movie scenes in my head. Lovers running with open arms and floaty haired women being spun around. Kisses that go on forever. The problem is, that this reunion isn’t going to be straightforward. Firstly, there’s Katie. Whether she fancies Daniel or not, there’s protocol to follow. Call me old fashioned, but declaring your love for someone else’s boyfriend isn’t the done thing. Yet, that is exactly what I’m about to do. And I’m not sure if I care about the consequences. And then there’s t
Dani is screaming so loudly that the poor patients at the other end of the corridor must think she is undergoing an amputation without pain relief. “Why didn’t you tell me? For fuck sake!” “I… I .. don’t know,” I stammer. “I didn’t want to compromise your friendship with Katie for a start.” “How?” She asks incredulously. “Katie’s in love with Scott, like you said. Even if I was going to be a total arsehole and try to steal him – which I’m not – what good would come of telling you? It’d just land you with information that you’d be powerless to act on.” “Uhhhhh,” Dani rubs her hands down her face. “What a mess.” “Don’t I know it,” I agree. “I don’t mean about you and Scott,” she tuts impatiently. “Though I grant you, that is also a mess.” “What then?” She sighs and her eyes find the window. “You know when I said that I thought Katie was in love with Scott?” I nod. “I was wrong.” It takes a few seconds for her words to sink in. “What?” “She likes Scott, don’
Given the fact that my mum was in a serious near death experience twelve hours ago, she’s looking amazingly well. “Just typical, isn’t it?” She mutters as she grabs another peanut m&m. “Everyone in the real housewives has a hot tub and none of theirs houses burned down.” Dani just smiles and offers me an m&m. “No thank you,” I shake my head. “But then I suppose they had the real thing and wasn’t swimming around in a discarded birthing pool.” My mum must be made of stronger stuff than me. While she is happily stuffing her face with chocolate, I feel like I’ve been hit by a damn truck. It’s not just the aftermath of the fire though, although that alone could leave me in a state of shock until 2040. My mind is also spinning with thoughts of Scott, who is now en route to Doncaster airport. I hope he’s not too annoyed with me for sneaking off, but then I did have a good excuse, even though visiting hours don’t officially start until 10am. It’s a good job Dani managed to
Scott has gone to the local store, just as he always does on his days off. Only this isn’t a normal day off. All his bags are packed and waiting by the door, ready for his departure in two hours. I’m supposed to go to the airport to see him off, but the moment my eyes opened this morning, I knew I couldn’t go through with it. I won’t be able to watch him and Katie head off together without bursting into tears and giving the game away. I take a notepad and pen from my bag, and begin writing as quickly as I can. I don’t have long until he returns. ‘Dear Scott, I’m sorry that I didn’t get to go to the airport with you, but if I don’t make visiting hours at 9:00am, I won’t see mum. She needs me right now, more than you need me, after what happened. I know you’ll understand, under the circumstances. Have an amazing trip and please don’t forget about me, will you? I’ll miss you more than I could ever explain. I meant what I said – I want a post card from every destination - don’t
Scott abandons the car without consideration for others outside of Mum’s and Dad’s house and we quickly jump out. The air is thick with smoke and fear as the neighbours with grey faces huddle amongst themselves. There’s firefighters everywhere; running and shouting. I stand in front of the house and struggle to breathe as the flames crackle and roar, as they burst from three windows and the smoke billows into the night. “Where are they?” “They’re still in there,” Steve says, his eyes heavy with tears. “I tried to go in, but the hallway was filled with smoke and….” Without even thinking, I race towards the house, but Scott wraps his arms around me and pulls me back. “LET ME GO!” I scream. “Let the professionals do their jobs, Emma,” he pleads as his arms wrap tighter around me. I watch horrified as the firefighters wearing breathing apparatus make their way into the house. There’s orders being shouted and soon the house is being doused with foam and water. I feel a sudden r