“How’s the jacuzzi?” I ask Mum, yesterday they had a new addition to their spa room. “Jacuzzi? That’s what he told me it was too.” “Oh, so he hasn’t brought home a jacuzzi?” “No, Emma. No, he hasn’t. We have a mass amount of water in our room, but it is not a jacuzzi.” “I’m confused. What is it, then?” She gives an exasperated sigh. “It’s a bloody inflatable birthing pool, Emma.” “A birthing pool? As in a pool that women give birth in?” “Spot on. Just when I thought your Dad’s taste in knock off goods can’t get any worse, he brings this home.” She doesn’t sound impressed. “Apparently, they were getting rid of them from the maternity unit. I think several hundred babies have been bought in that thing. Which is obviously very beautiful – but it does shatter the image I had of sipping cocktails in it.” I hear a splash, “I don’t know what your problem is,” Dad shouts. “It’s been cleaned and it’s great in here. You’d have never known if I hadn’t told you.” “There is a s
Our new home is everything I’ve ever wanted in a home: it’s huge, open and light, two master bedrooms, with a small home above the garage, and in a great location within a fenced community. I wander into my bedroom which is twice the size of my old one and at least ten times more luxurious. It’s expensive of course, but anything would be expensive compared to the house I shared with Scott. That was my foot on the ladder home. It was a bargain when I found it, even more so now that the mortgage is paid and I’m now earning by renting it out. Or at least I will be once the tenants sign the paperwork. I just couldn’t stay there, everywhere I looked I saw him. So I’m moving in with Dani, in her new build, with the intention of buying a new home for a fresh start. I open the balcony doors, a breeze skips across my bare arms and lifts my spirits. But it’s short lived. Even this isn’t enough. I should be buzzing with excitement, but I’m not. Because I won’t be living with Scott any longer.
There are two new starters at work today, Pacey; a sweet young guy for the IT department who’s channelling his inner iron man and sporting a goatee, and Sara; a marketing trainee who has legs that don’t end, she’s turned a few heads. It’s if no surprise who Drew has turned his attention to. “Come on Sara, put me out of my misery,” he smirks. “I’ve got two tickets for tonight’s Queen tribute, and one has your name on it.” “Oh,” she giggles, obviously flattered. As she’s new to the company, and Drew, I can forgive her. “I had something else on tonight, sorry.” “Cancel it,” he almost orders her. “You won’t regret it – I promise.” “You will,” I mumble under my breath. “I guarantee it.” I’ve got so much on today, including chasing a new client to replace Nike. Although it’s sickening to think that they still think that I was the leak, I’ve accepted that that they’re never going to believe me. The only way to move on is to find a replacement client. I’m therefore fine tuning a
Our final night out is a joyous affair, well for most of the group it is. Katie and her friends – Daniel and one of his friends - they’re bursting with excitement about the start of their trip. Dani has spent the evening demanding to know everything about my brother (so far I’ve revealed that he has a crooked tooth, his feet stink, and that he’s lazy, but none of it has put her off). And Scott, completely understandably, is brimming with as much anticipation as the others. If he has second thoughts, he’s not showing it. As for me, I’m making a fair to average job of looking happy. Which is an achievement. Because I feel as though I’m having a bad dream and can’t wake up. I as though I’m parachuting – with a failed parachute and heading for the ground. I feel like crap. Sorry, it’s difficult to be poetic when you feel this bad. “Have some cake, Emma,” Daniel says as he pushes a plate near me. “You d hardly eaten anything.” “Oh, thank you,” I say and take the plate. I make a show
Scott abandons the car without consideration for others outside of Mum’s and Dad’s house and we quickly jump out. The air is thick with smoke and fear as the neighbours with grey faces huddle amongst themselves. There’s firefighters everywhere; running and shouting. I stand in front of the house and struggle to breathe as the flames crackle and roar, as they burst from three windows and the smoke billows into the night. “Where are they?” “They’re still in there,” Steve says, his eyes heavy with tears. “I tried to go in, but the hallway was filled with smoke and….” Without even thinking, I race towards the house, but Scott wraps his arms around me and pulls me back. “LET ME GO!” I scream. “Let the professionals do their jobs, Emma,” he pleads as his arms wrap tighter around me. I watch horrified as the firefighters wearing breathing apparatus make their way into the house. There’s orders being shouted and soon the house is being doused with foam and water. I feel a sudden r
Scott has gone to the local store, just as he always does on his days off. Only this isn’t a normal day off. All his bags are packed and waiting by the door, ready for his departure in two hours. I’m supposed to go to the airport to see him off, but the moment my eyes opened this morning, I knew I couldn’t go through with it. I won’t be able to watch him and Katie head off together without bursting into tears and giving the game away. I take a notepad and pen from my bag, and begin writing as quickly as I can. I don’t have long until he returns. ‘Dear Scott, I’m sorry that I didn’t get to go to the airport with you, but if I don’t make visiting hours at 9:00am, I won’t see mum. She needs me right now, more than you need me, after what happened. I know you’ll understand, under the circumstances. Have an amazing trip and please don’t forget about me, will you? I’ll miss you more than I could ever explain. I meant what I said – I want a post card from every destination - don’t
Given the fact that my mum was in a serious near death experience twelve hours ago, she’s looking amazingly well. “Just typical, isn’t it?” She mutters as she grabs another peanut m&m. “Everyone in the real housewives has a hot tub and none of theirs houses burned down.” Dani just smiles and offers me an m&m. “No thank you,” I shake my head. “But then I suppose they had the real thing and wasn’t swimming around in a discarded birthing pool.” My mum must be made of stronger stuff than me. While she is happily stuffing her face with chocolate, I feel like I’ve been hit by a damn truck. It’s not just the aftermath of the fire though, although that alone could leave me in a state of shock until 2040. My mind is also spinning with thoughts of Scott, who is now en route to Doncaster airport. I hope he’s not too annoyed with me for sneaking off, but then I did have a good excuse, even though visiting hours don’t officially start until 10am. It’s a good job Dani managed to
Dani is screaming so loudly that the poor patients at the other end of the corridor must think she is undergoing an amputation without pain relief. “Why didn’t you tell me? For fuck sake!” “I… I .. don’t know,” I stammer. “I didn’t want to compromise your friendship with Katie for a start.” “How?” She asks incredulously. “Katie’s in love with Scott, like you said. Even if I was going to be a total arsehole and try to steal him – which I’m not – what good would come of telling you? It’d just land you with information that you’d be powerless to act on.” “Uhhhhh,” Dani rubs her hands down her face. “What a mess.” “Don’t I know it,” I agree. “I don’t mean about you and Scott,” she tuts impatiently. “Though I grant you, that is also a mess.” “What then?” She sighs and her eyes find the window. “You know when I said that I thought Katie was in love with Scott?” I nod. “I was wrong.” It takes a few seconds for her words to sink in. “What?” “She likes Scott, don’
If anybody had told me six months ago that Dani and my dimwit brother would become an item, I’d have questioned their sanity. She’s sophisticated, intelligent and witty. And, well, he farts like a flatulent rhinoceros and is refined as those hillbillies on The Hills Have Eyes. Yet, they got together two weeks after the fire, when Dani expressed a sudden and mysterious desire to join me when I popped round to Steve’s to loan him The Walking Dead box set. I stayed for fifteen minutes. Dani stayed for four days. Her theory is that I am blind to Steve’s charm because he’s my brother. That he’s fun, loving, amusing and attentive. She also tried to tell me that he’s great in bed, but I acted like a grown up and stuck my fingers in my ears, while singing “la-la-la-can’t-head-you-la-la-la” until she stopped. As for Steve, well, he’s smitten. Honestly, she’s turned him into a puppy dog – albeit not a very cute one. Despite my reservations, they seem to be enjoying themselves. And for the
The moment I see him I am balled over by how handsome he is, he’s irresistibly, mouth wateringly sexy. I’m looking at a man who, thanks to project Scott, is the ultimate manifestation of female desire. He turns heads wherever he goes. But that isn’t the reason I love him. It’s not the clothes, or the hairstyle, it isn’t even his body or face. The Scott I love is the funny, intelligent, caring, loyal and lovely person I met all those years ago. That’s the Scott I long for, the Scott I can’t spend another day without. The trimmings and display are irrelevant. “Hi there, Emma,” he grins. His grin becomes a smile and it sends a surge of Hope through my veins, turning my legs to jelly and killing my ability to speak. “Are you okay?” “Yes. I … yes,” I stutter. Emotion rushes through me and my heartbeat thuds in my chest, thundering in my ears. “I’m just surprised to see you,” I say once my words find their way back to me. “And… happy?” I nod as tears cloud my vision. “Ve
There’s one single word on the front: Emma. Seeing my name written in Scott’s very distinctive handwriting makes my heart pause and I gasp for breath. With my heart racing and fingers trembling, I open the envelope and head to my small balcony terrace. I throw myself into the chair, cross my legs and scan the letter, unable to devour its contents quick enough. ******** Dearest Emma, I’ve written this letter multiple times, and rewritten it in my mind at least a thousand times. Yet o never thought putting pen to paper would be so difficult. This is the eleventh copy and I’m still not happy with it. I thought about quoting your favourite poetry and literature but nothing seems appropriate enough to explain the situation, so it’s down to clumsy old me. There’s just one small problem; what do you say to the woman you’ve been in love with for years? From the moment I first met you, Emma, my life has been enhanced in a way I can’t fully explain. All those cold, wet and miserable aft
I try to think of an ingenious way to get through security. But after yet another infuriating conversation with another official, I’m forced to accept that the methods to combat terrorism are also enough to intervene when a unfit, scruffy and desperate woman. With an alarming and increasing level of determination I decide to buy a ticket to somewhere in Asia, just so that I can get through the security gates. But after another episode at the security desk, the fact that my passport is in a box at my new home is clearly a show-stopper. I stand in the airport in a confused daze, and take out my phone. I wanted to do this in person, but now I have no choice. I close my eyes and wait for the line to ring. It goes straight to voicemail. “Oh god,” I cry, but nobody notices. For almost an hour I pace up and down, trying to come up with a brilliant plan. But no matter how I try, nothing happens and no plan is formed. I look at my watch for the millionth time today and see that
I’m normally the safest driver in the world. Or at least that’s what I tell myself. Scott would say I drive like a grandma, behind the wheel , sticking to the speed limit and often below it. Scott, my heart aches. But with the needle on my speedometer touching a perilous 74mph – okay, so I’m not the next Schumacher or Hamilton, but I’m belting along the M62 in a small Vauxhall corsa leaving behind a caravan and two heavy duty trucks. My heart is hammering against my ribcage as I play corny movie scenes in my head. Lovers running with open arms and floaty haired women being spun around. Kisses that go on forever. The problem is, that this reunion isn’t going to be straightforward. Firstly, there’s Katie. Whether she fancies Daniel or not, there’s protocol to follow. Call me old fashioned, but declaring your love for someone else’s boyfriend isn’t the done thing. Yet, that is exactly what I’m about to do. And I’m not sure if I care about the consequences. And then there’s t
Dani is screaming so loudly that the poor patients at the other end of the corridor must think she is undergoing an amputation without pain relief. “Why didn’t you tell me? For fuck sake!” “I… I .. don’t know,” I stammer. “I didn’t want to compromise your friendship with Katie for a start.” “How?” She asks incredulously. “Katie’s in love with Scott, like you said. Even if I was going to be a total arsehole and try to steal him – which I’m not – what good would come of telling you? It’d just land you with information that you’d be powerless to act on.” “Uhhhhh,” Dani rubs her hands down her face. “What a mess.” “Don’t I know it,” I agree. “I don’t mean about you and Scott,” she tuts impatiently. “Though I grant you, that is also a mess.” “What then?” She sighs and her eyes find the window. “You know when I said that I thought Katie was in love with Scott?” I nod. “I was wrong.” It takes a few seconds for her words to sink in. “What?” “She likes Scott, don’
Given the fact that my mum was in a serious near death experience twelve hours ago, she’s looking amazingly well. “Just typical, isn’t it?” She mutters as she grabs another peanut m&m. “Everyone in the real housewives has a hot tub and none of theirs houses burned down.” Dani just smiles and offers me an m&m. “No thank you,” I shake my head. “But then I suppose they had the real thing and wasn’t swimming around in a discarded birthing pool.” My mum must be made of stronger stuff than me. While she is happily stuffing her face with chocolate, I feel like I’ve been hit by a damn truck. It’s not just the aftermath of the fire though, although that alone could leave me in a state of shock until 2040. My mind is also spinning with thoughts of Scott, who is now en route to Doncaster airport. I hope he’s not too annoyed with me for sneaking off, but then I did have a good excuse, even though visiting hours don’t officially start until 10am. It’s a good job Dani managed to
Scott has gone to the local store, just as he always does on his days off. Only this isn’t a normal day off. All his bags are packed and waiting by the door, ready for his departure in two hours. I’m supposed to go to the airport to see him off, but the moment my eyes opened this morning, I knew I couldn’t go through with it. I won’t be able to watch him and Katie head off together without bursting into tears and giving the game away. I take a notepad and pen from my bag, and begin writing as quickly as I can. I don’t have long until he returns. ‘Dear Scott, I’m sorry that I didn’t get to go to the airport with you, but if I don’t make visiting hours at 9:00am, I won’t see mum. She needs me right now, more than you need me, after what happened. I know you’ll understand, under the circumstances. Have an amazing trip and please don’t forget about me, will you? I’ll miss you more than I could ever explain. I meant what I said – I want a post card from every destination - don’t
Scott abandons the car without consideration for others outside of Mum’s and Dad’s house and we quickly jump out. The air is thick with smoke and fear as the neighbours with grey faces huddle amongst themselves. There’s firefighters everywhere; running and shouting. I stand in front of the house and struggle to breathe as the flames crackle and roar, as they burst from three windows and the smoke billows into the night. “Where are they?” “They’re still in there,” Steve says, his eyes heavy with tears. “I tried to go in, but the hallway was filled with smoke and….” Without even thinking, I race towards the house, but Scott wraps his arms around me and pulls me back. “LET ME GO!” I scream. “Let the professionals do their jobs, Emma,” he pleads as his arms wrap tighter around me. I watch horrified as the firefighters wearing breathing apparatus make their way into the house. There’s orders being shouted and soon the house is being doused with foam and water. I feel a sudden r