“Say, Chris… when do you think we’ll reach the top of this one?” I ask barely able to breathe. He pauses and turns, “this peak usually take around ninety minutes to reach, to hit them all its nine miles, and then the nine miles back.”I stop and put my foot on a rock and pretend to adjust my shoelace while I discreetly suck in oxygen. But, I can hide my heaving chest, even in this tent of a coat. Next I remove my glove and look at my watch. “If I recall the guide, I’d say we have already been at it for an hour,” I wheeze.“Yes. We have,” he replies. It suddenly strikes me that unless I come up with something soon, my game is up. I’m going as fast as I can to keep up with him, but the muscles in my legs feel as though they’re on fire, my lungs are ready to collapse – and despite wearing more clothing than the average mountain climber, I’m bloody freezing. I already know without looking in a mirror that my cheeks are flushed and my lips are blue. I can’t feel the end of my nose, my
“Oh Scott, he’s just a dream,” I say hazily as I lower myself onto a seat at the kitchen table with legs that are still trembling in pain. “We’ve so much in common, did I tell you?” By the next day, I’ve forgotten all the terrible parts of the date, and I’m finding it impossible to think about anything other than how drop dead gorgeous he is. The simmering sexual tension is no doubt fuelled by the fact that we still haven’t consummated the relationship yet. I’m determined to leave it a while with this one: Chris is boyfriend material – I can feel it. The last thing I want is to give in to temptation and get it on with him too soon, leaving him with any doubts about my girlfriend potential. So after our drive back to Hull, we had an old fashioned snog on the doorstep and said goodnight. I’m so bloody proud of myself. But, I don’t know how long I’ll be able to resist.Scott looks up from his daily paper and smiles, “Yes, you did.”“It’s amazing. He’s into stranger things – like me. An
Despite the unpromising name, the business awards in the first week of June is always a promising night out. I’ve attended for the last three years, either as a guest or a client, or on my company’s table.I will be the first to admit that it doesn’t sound exciting. Okay so the award ceremony itself is a little lacklustre, but by the time the ‘networking opportunities’ begin, people are so drunk that they struggle to stand up straight, never mind try to win their next big contract. It’s usually rather entertaining.One previous year which has become infamous – an uptight CEO joined forces with a jewellery designer and persuaded half the room to move across town for a karaoke night. This CEO being a man who is straighter than a ruler belting out “I’m all about that bass”, dance moves included has to be one of the enduring images of the corporate year.I have more reason than ever to look forward to it this time. Chris is my date. The only downside is that, having spent my entire overdr
Mike Stonehouse is a total sleazeball and a grade 1 arsehole. Political correctness gets a lot of stick these days, but there’s really no other way to describe Mike. With facial hair like an eighties porn star, a combover that does nothing to hide the male pattern baldness he has, and a semipermanent drool. He’s like a dog searching the for female in heat. I will give him his credit, he set up and owns multiple business in Yorkshire, two of which are our clients. But it’s hard to appreciate his accomplishments when he’s the sleaziest man you could meet, someone who, given the choice, I wouldn’t sit within a mile radius of, never mind next to. I didn’t even realise that men like him existed until I attended a similar event a couple of years ago and spotted him groping the backside of anything in a skirt. Karma came when a financial director turned around and slapped him across his face. Unfortunately, that only encouraged him. After half an hour of fighting him off, she gave up a
The awards ceremony drags on so much that I’m practically catatonic by the time that ‘best marketing or advertising agency’ is about to be announced. I glance in Mr Browns direction to give him a supportive thumbs up. His seat is empty. “Where is Mr Brown?” I mouth. The woman to his right, a diamond broker, gives a bewildered shrug. Whispers are exchanged around the table. People start to look agitated. The winning theory is that Mr Brown has stepped out to take a phone call a couple of minutes ago, but hasn’t been seen since. “I’ll have you know, choosing the winner of the best marketing or advertising agency was an extremely difficult task for the judges,” says the presenter, a cheerful, almost bald redhead. “The competition in this sector has become stiff over the last few years, with an aggressive rate of new business demanding exposure, which has made it a buoyant industry.” “What if we win?” I ask nobody in particular. “Who will collect the award?” “I guess that wil
“Mr Brown, I’m sorry. I’m so bloody sorry. I don’t know what else to say. I really am desperately sorry.” Mr Brown takes another huge gulp of wine. “Let’s forget it, Emma, shall we?” His tone doesn’t reveal whether he’s to forgive me or kills me and bury my remains for the animals to eat. “We’ll talk about it at work tomorrow.” “You’re not going to fire me, are you? Oh god, Mr Brown! Please don’t fire me, I beg you. I love this job. I love the company. I love you, sir. I’d do anything..” “Emma, stop it. Please.” I think I’m about to cry. Again. It turns out, my boss had stepped out to take a call from his mother’s care home. She’s had a few funny turns lately and he won’t take any chances. Even if this time, she’s only phoning to request a new floral dressing gown. “I’m not going to sack you,” he sighs. “Luckily for you, your clients would object too much. Of course, how impressed they’ll continue to be after their marketing agent company’s director has been called Mr Bl
“Would you really have rescued me?” I’m crying again. “Would you have gone up and accepted the award in my place?” Scott shrugs like it’s no big deal. “Of course.” “But you don’t know the first thing about marketing do you? What would you have said?” “I’m not sure,” he says. “Something along the lines of every organisation needs a marketing PR, as much as ER, and even more than M&M’s…” I burst into a fit of giggles. “You’d have fitted in well. There was so much bullshit in those speeches.” “I enjoyed myself,” he admits. “I bet you did. Did you accept Rachel’s number?” Scott’s grin is huge, “it’s hard to believe isn’t it?” “Not at all. You need to believe how amazing you are, Scott.” He lowers his eyes, “well, we will see if she calls.” “She WILL call. I’ve never been so confident about anything in my life. But to go back to my original point, I wish I had let you rescue me. If I had, I wouldn’t have made the worst acceptance speech in the history of speeches.”
I know that I’ve hit rock bottom at work when I catch myself wondering if whether staying at home watching loose women would be a better alternative. The hangover I’m experiencing is nothing compared to the burning and shameful memory of last night. Or the fact that Mr Brown has refused to look at me all morning. And even worse is the fact that my speech is quoted word for word in business section of the local newspaper. And the fact that the picture caption reads: All present and erect…. Emma of Herman-Brown’s paying tribute to her boss and CEO Mr Big-Cock. On top of this publicity dilemma, a problem has emerged: two local stations have finally agreed to a behind the scenes piece with one of my clients; a dentist. I’ve been pushing the idea for a few weeks, so under normal circumstances, I’d be absolutely delighted. The problem is, they want to go today, to coincide with their approval to operate from the CQC – at exactly the same time I’m running a major product launch for
If anybody had told me six months ago that Dani and my dimwit brother would become an item, I’d have questioned their sanity. She’s sophisticated, intelligent and witty. And, well, he farts like a flatulent rhinoceros and is refined as those hillbillies on The Hills Have Eyes. Yet, they got together two weeks after the fire, when Dani expressed a sudden and mysterious desire to join me when I popped round to Steve’s to loan him The Walking Dead box set. I stayed for fifteen minutes. Dani stayed for four days. Her theory is that I am blind to Steve’s charm because he’s my brother. That he’s fun, loving, amusing and attentive. She also tried to tell me that he’s great in bed, but I acted like a grown up and stuck my fingers in my ears, while singing “la-la-la-can’t-head-you-la-la-la” until she stopped. As for Steve, well, he’s smitten. Honestly, she’s turned him into a puppy dog – albeit not a very cute one. Despite my reservations, they seem to be enjoying themselves. And for the
The moment I see him I am balled over by how handsome he is, he’s irresistibly, mouth wateringly sexy. I’m looking at a man who, thanks to project Scott, is the ultimate manifestation of female desire. He turns heads wherever he goes. But that isn’t the reason I love him. It’s not the clothes, or the hairstyle, it isn’t even his body or face. The Scott I love is the funny, intelligent, caring, loyal and lovely person I met all those years ago. That’s the Scott I long for, the Scott I can’t spend another day without. The trimmings and display are irrelevant. “Hi there, Emma,” he grins. His grin becomes a smile and it sends a surge of Hope through my veins, turning my legs to jelly and killing my ability to speak. “Are you okay?” “Yes. I … yes,” I stutter. Emotion rushes through me and my heartbeat thuds in my chest, thundering in my ears. “I’m just surprised to see you,” I say once my words find their way back to me. “And… happy?” I nod as tears cloud my vision. “Ve
There’s one single word on the front: Emma. Seeing my name written in Scott’s very distinctive handwriting makes my heart pause and I gasp for breath. With my heart racing and fingers trembling, I open the envelope and head to my small balcony terrace. I throw myself into the chair, cross my legs and scan the letter, unable to devour its contents quick enough. ******** Dearest Emma, I’ve written this letter multiple times, and rewritten it in my mind at least a thousand times. Yet o never thought putting pen to paper would be so difficult. This is the eleventh copy and I’m still not happy with it. I thought about quoting your favourite poetry and literature but nothing seems appropriate enough to explain the situation, so it’s down to clumsy old me. There’s just one small problem; what do you say to the woman you’ve been in love with for years? From the moment I first met you, Emma, my life has been enhanced in a way I can’t fully explain. All those cold, wet and miserable aft
I try to think of an ingenious way to get through security. But after yet another infuriating conversation with another official, I’m forced to accept that the methods to combat terrorism are also enough to intervene when a unfit, scruffy and desperate woman. With an alarming and increasing level of determination I decide to buy a ticket to somewhere in Asia, just so that I can get through the security gates. But after another episode at the security desk, the fact that my passport is in a box at my new home is clearly a show-stopper. I stand in the airport in a confused daze, and take out my phone. I wanted to do this in person, but now I have no choice. I close my eyes and wait for the line to ring. It goes straight to voicemail. “Oh god,” I cry, but nobody notices. For almost an hour I pace up and down, trying to come up with a brilliant plan. But no matter how I try, nothing happens and no plan is formed. I look at my watch for the millionth time today and see that
I’m normally the safest driver in the world. Or at least that’s what I tell myself. Scott would say I drive like a grandma, behind the wheel , sticking to the speed limit and often below it. Scott, my heart aches. But with the needle on my speedometer touching a perilous 74mph – okay, so I’m not the next Schumacher or Hamilton, but I’m belting along the M62 in a small Vauxhall corsa leaving behind a caravan and two heavy duty trucks. My heart is hammering against my ribcage as I play corny movie scenes in my head. Lovers running with open arms and floaty haired women being spun around. Kisses that go on forever. The problem is, that this reunion isn’t going to be straightforward. Firstly, there’s Katie. Whether she fancies Daniel or not, there’s protocol to follow. Call me old fashioned, but declaring your love for someone else’s boyfriend isn’t the done thing. Yet, that is exactly what I’m about to do. And I’m not sure if I care about the consequences. And then there’s t
Dani is screaming so loudly that the poor patients at the other end of the corridor must think she is undergoing an amputation without pain relief. “Why didn’t you tell me? For fuck sake!” “I… I .. don’t know,” I stammer. “I didn’t want to compromise your friendship with Katie for a start.” “How?” She asks incredulously. “Katie’s in love with Scott, like you said. Even if I was going to be a total arsehole and try to steal him – which I’m not – what good would come of telling you? It’d just land you with information that you’d be powerless to act on.” “Uhhhhh,” Dani rubs her hands down her face. “What a mess.” “Don’t I know it,” I agree. “I don’t mean about you and Scott,” she tuts impatiently. “Though I grant you, that is also a mess.” “What then?” She sighs and her eyes find the window. “You know when I said that I thought Katie was in love with Scott?” I nod. “I was wrong.” It takes a few seconds for her words to sink in. “What?” “She likes Scott, don’
Given the fact that my mum was in a serious near death experience twelve hours ago, she’s looking amazingly well. “Just typical, isn’t it?” She mutters as she grabs another peanut m&m. “Everyone in the real housewives has a hot tub and none of theirs houses burned down.” Dani just smiles and offers me an m&m. “No thank you,” I shake my head. “But then I suppose they had the real thing and wasn’t swimming around in a discarded birthing pool.” My mum must be made of stronger stuff than me. While she is happily stuffing her face with chocolate, I feel like I’ve been hit by a damn truck. It’s not just the aftermath of the fire though, although that alone could leave me in a state of shock until 2040. My mind is also spinning with thoughts of Scott, who is now en route to Doncaster airport. I hope he’s not too annoyed with me for sneaking off, but then I did have a good excuse, even though visiting hours don’t officially start until 10am. It’s a good job Dani managed to
Scott has gone to the local store, just as he always does on his days off. Only this isn’t a normal day off. All his bags are packed and waiting by the door, ready for his departure in two hours. I’m supposed to go to the airport to see him off, but the moment my eyes opened this morning, I knew I couldn’t go through with it. I won’t be able to watch him and Katie head off together without bursting into tears and giving the game away. I take a notepad and pen from my bag, and begin writing as quickly as I can. I don’t have long until he returns. ‘Dear Scott, I’m sorry that I didn’t get to go to the airport with you, but if I don’t make visiting hours at 9:00am, I won’t see mum. She needs me right now, more than you need me, after what happened. I know you’ll understand, under the circumstances. Have an amazing trip and please don’t forget about me, will you? I’ll miss you more than I could ever explain. I meant what I said – I want a post card from every destination - don’t
Scott abandons the car without consideration for others outside of Mum’s and Dad’s house and we quickly jump out. The air is thick with smoke and fear as the neighbours with grey faces huddle amongst themselves. There’s firefighters everywhere; running and shouting. I stand in front of the house and struggle to breathe as the flames crackle and roar, as they burst from three windows and the smoke billows into the night. “Where are they?” “They’re still in there,” Steve says, his eyes heavy with tears. “I tried to go in, but the hallway was filled with smoke and….” Without even thinking, I race towards the house, but Scott wraps his arms around me and pulls me back. “LET ME GO!” I scream. “Let the professionals do their jobs, Emma,” he pleads as his arms wrap tighter around me. I watch horrified as the firefighters wearing breathing apparatus make their way into the house. There’s orders being shouted and soon the house is being doused with foam and water. I feel a sudden r