As I pick my outfit for the day, a wave of nausea crashes over me and I suddenly catch hold back the whole meal he had cooked for me. The hanger with the pretty skirt I had picked falls on the floor as I dash for the bathroom, past the man who was buttoning up his shirt. I crouch over the toilet bowl and I understand this is how my life is going to be from now on.Not pretty. Definitely smelly and unkind, but there was not much I could do. I had to wait it out, didn’t I? I hear Killian’s hurried footsteps behind me, but I lean in and close the door before he can barge in and see me like that. All sweaty, throwing up into the expensive toilet bowl he had bought for this place.A few strands of hair stick to my face and I feel even worse when I think that I need to get up and get moving. Everything felt like a chore right now. A boring, tedious chore that made me feel queasy. Was this some sort of bad karma? What did I do to deserve this? Eventually, I get up and flush the toilet, clos
A few days pass and with each day, I think I can handle the nausea better. The supplements and medicines are really helping but I'm also sure that part of it it's due to the lack of anxiety and anger that I experience everytime he was near. And he was near a lot. There were no business calls. There were no meetings. He was jus I here, all the time. And I was growing fond of seeing him.To my surprise he didn't ask for anything off of me. He didn't ask for sex. He didn't ask to get psychical... He was just here, always alert and ready to help me if I needed something. It was a bit incapacitating since it felt as if he didn't trust me with anything, but it was also sweet because I could see him take responsability and that made me think he was going to be a good father.I still had not made my mind about keeping the child or not, but I knew it was going to settle soon. I just had a feeling of what my decision would be, but I was a little afraid to speak it out just now, because somehow,
The front door of the house slams closed and with it, all my courage dies. Tears swell in my eyes and I am chocking in my sobs. I had told him! I had told him that going to the pack doctor was a mistake! I had told him we should have waited a little more until breaking the news to everyone? No one believed me! No one believed that my only partner has been him -Fucking omega genes and their fucking fertility rate! Why?! Why did it have to come down like this?! Why did I have to be in the middle of such a shitty thing? Why were people so mean and shitty here... How did I end up in this mess?! WHAT DID I MARRY INTO ?!Killian is tense too and he hesitates to come to me. And I feel alone and abandoned right now, because I could really use some comfort. His fist hits against the wooden entrance door and he let's put a low growl."Should have known she's here to pour her venom into our cup -" he growls out and I can feel that growl into the marrow of my bones. He was being angry.He was di
He looks doubtful, and right now I am not sure if he doubts me or himself. With slightly narrowed eyes and with flared nostrils, he watches me and I once again feel like nothing but a puny woman that has little power in front of what feels like a force of nature.His pupils have blown out and I can’t help but think that there was something in the food… but the way what seems like anger turns into maybe one of the most surprised and sincere, genuine smiles I have ever seen, tells me I have gotten it all wrong. Lips peel back and he shows me his fangs and a soft shiver, a rush of what feels like magic, pulses alive under my skin.“You’re telling me I am going to be a father -” he whispers, half choked by his own emotions. How does a man like him even have emotions? He looks and feels like a damn mountain. Did mountains have feelings? Was there anything else beside work and schemes and plots happening inside of that thick skull? I have never seen such sincere happiness before. In no one
I’m a bit of a mess. I think I have always been. It takes a while to get the hang out of myself, but eventually, the day turns out to actually be plenty of fun. As promised, I get ice cream and Pizza and we do have a short visit with a new medic. Anamaria. I think. I think that’s her name… I’m not sure. But she seemed to be a gentle and sweet person and I felt a bit of relief. Of course, she made sure to schedule a set of blood tests and other things and sent me home with another bunch of vitamins and important prenatal pamphlets that I made sure to stuff into Killian’s arms. I might still be in denial, but I had plenty of time to get some documentation while Killian would be away. And I’m sure that even wolfless and punny as I was, the motherly instincts are there somewhere and they would kick in at the right time. Or at least, that’s what I’m telling myself.As we get home, (funny how I am already calling this place a home), I walk right upstairs, to get ready for bed. The sun had
My feet stop right at the edge of the dock and my heart is hammering its way out of my chest as I stare at the water. It’s too dark to see anything underneath the reflection of the moon and the stars and all the waves. With my heart frenzied, with my mind in shambless, I kneel on the dock and bend forward to see a little better, trying to get a glimpse of the white haired idiot -From underneath the water, Killian emerges with a smirk on his face. His hands grab on the dock and he pushes himself up, to a closer level to my face, and his wet nose brushes against mine. Oh! The urge to slap him right now is so big, I’m not even sure how I control myself right now. One thing is certain. A wave of relief crashes over me and I let out a loud sobby sigh as I fall on my ass and cover my face with both my hands when I understand how big of a fool I was. He KNEW what he was doing! He knew how to swim and this was not the first time he was doing it! Then why did I get so anxious all of a sudde
“You fucking lunatic!” I scream through my sobs, fighting to get away from him, but as soon as he loosens his grip on me I panic even more, because I’m still in the water with no idea how to swim to the shore.“Madelaine!” Killian insists and he grabs my waist a little tighter, to give me some support. “I have got you, Madelaine! My feet are touching the damn bottom!” He insists and stomps his legs a little to prove it to me that he is well anchored into the sand while he holds me.With tears in my eyes, I stare at him with skepticism. There was no way he - no! Frustration fills me up and I suddenly want to claw his eyes out. He had me fooled! He had me thinking I was going to die! The damn fear I felt compares to nothing I have ever experienced and I want nothing more but to pay him back right now -“I hate you!” I spit at him and his expression harshens. My heart sinks, but I said what I said and I could not take it back. With a steady grip on me, the man lifts me up and sets me on
As I wake up, a certain soreness settles inside of my body once more. What last night seemed to have been sheer pleasure, has now turned into soreness and slight swelling. The sensation was not annoying, it was just a reminder of how hard to satiate he was. Talking about him… where was Killian? I toss and turn, but the bed is empty and a little cold. It means he had left the bed a while ago while I was still asleep. A strange emptiness takes hold of my stomach, making it turn and fill up with nothing but nausea. I push myself up and look around the room. He was not inside -“Killian?” I call out and a hint of panic surges through me.For a brief moment, I can only imagine that everything I had experienced for the past month has been nothing but a fever dream. Nausea rises to unbearable limits and I rush out of bed, to the bathroom. After a quick meeting with the toilet and after refreshing myself, I walk out a little drowsy, but with a peaceful mind at least. It was not a fever drea
Altair and Aaron. Two bright stars on the endless sky that life is and can be. Two perfect little angel who just happened to hit a bit of a road bump right before they were even welcomed into the world. Born a bit too small and frail to be allowed to fly, the two little angels have been confined to secure chambers that helped them grow and develop their flight wings.Or at least, until they were ready to be taken home.That day came way too late.I was growing insane walking these brightly lighted corridors, always watched by nurses, always told what to do, how to touch and how to not touch them. It took so long for me to be allowed to actually hold my children that I actually had a breakdown right in front of the maternity when I was told I had to wait a few more days. I still did not get to properly hold either of them, but seeing them, and getting to touch their little hands and feet was enough to keep me sane.Not to mention that the mating bond was burning like a bright fire insi
Everything hurts. There is nothing in my body that is untouched by pain.I hear voices around me and I don't entirely care if they are nurses or people who think of themselves as being close to me, but I don't want to wake up yet. The pain is too much and my mind slips back into nothingness.***I think... I think it's later. I might have died. But the pain that still clings to my body is still sharp and very much present. The voices around have changed. And I can feel a warm touch that squeezes my hand. I can feel lips pressed against my knuckles. I can feel a soft breath brush against my skin.A rush of tingles wafts under my skin and makes me feel slightly more alive as it pools energy into my chest, making my heart flutter slightly. My eyes slowly open and I try to blink away the haze from my eyes.I try to remember what happened. I try to remember the last thing I remember, but my memory is too foggy right now.I was certain I was in a hospital. Have I given birth? Was I even ali
Dread takes hold of me, gripping my heart with an iron fist that makes my anxiety spike alongside fear and other things while I walked behind the nurse that didn't bother to give me too many details. Actually until we stopped in front of a glass wall, she didn't give me any details at all.She stops abruptly and turns to the glass wall, pointing in a rather vague direction inside the room."The twins have been born hours ago. Two prematurely born children who are not in great condition -" she tells me with a flat, emotionless voice before she looks up at me." they have a chance of survival, but we would not put our hopes too high into it. Better expect the worse and have a great surprise. " she tells and I feel like I want to strangle her.Was the the way one delivers news to a new father?My eyes drift from her figure to the glass wall, behind which I can see two small, incredibly small, pink and strange looking babies. Some of us are born with ears and tails, but my babies were so v
I’m not entirely sure how or when, but one thing is sure. Demetri beats me to the hospital. By the time I made it there, the man was already filling in details about the patient he had just brought in, even if they already had all her files. They demanded to know what happened, and as this was a hospital for the likes of us and more, Demetri did not spare a detail. I find him covered in blood from chest down and I don’t have to ask to know it was not his. The feeling of guilt and incredible nausea wash over me with such force I feel like I am about to throw up as soon as Demetri’s gaze moes and meets mine. I can feel the judgment behind those green eyes.I could feel the fingers he mentally pointed at me in an accusatory way. Demetri yearned for a mate and he could simply not understand how does a mated wolf get in this situation? How does a mated wolf treat his mate in order to have her risk everything in the Moonfire Eclipse unbinding ceremony?I make my way towards him and fall i
The chants that ring and echo through the forest barely reach my ears anymore. There is a magic buzzing in the air that surrounds my body, that makes my skin prickle and turn to goosebumps as if it was tickling me. It could feel a mild tingle under my skin, but in the beginning everything seemed fine.It seemed....It was not long after when the contractions started. At first, they were dull and faint, making just some of my abdominal muscles spasm and contract. And of course, I thought this was just because of my anxiety. But they have become a bit harsher, a bit more insistent.It didn't matter... Nothing mattered now. I had to focus on Killian. I had to focus on me... I had to focus on my wish.A low grunt humms along with the strange chanting of thw witch who doesn't seem to pick on my discomfort. My arms wrap around my belly, my hands going underneath it and above it, Stroking it slowly, trying to soothe the strange contractions. I have read about them. Any pregnant woman does.F
As I get in the car, I get even more uneasy and anxious. Something was off and I am not sure if it was just the fact that the moon was completely covered by clouds and it felt as if nothing was alive, or if it was just a sense of anxiety because I was so damn close to fulfilling my wish.Nevertheless, it did not matter! I was very firm on my decision. Nothing could make me change my mind now! I needed this! Thalia gets in the car with me and I barely get to settle down before she drives off like a damn maniac, making my heart skip a beat.“Where exactly are we going?” I ask half heartedly. Maybe this was a good question to ask before I had climbed in the car…She looks at me for a brief second before looking ahead on the road. A car passes by us and I feel myself grow smaller in my seat. That must be Demetri’s car. Nonetheless, it seems that he doesn't actually notice us, because he drives past without a damn sign he will stop.Why does part of me wish he would…“It’s a bit of a more
I didn’t even know what to say. I had already made up my mind about it. I have even come in contact with the right person to perform the ceremony. I could not wait another hundred years for the Moonfire Eclipse to happen again. I did not want to live my life short and meaningless.. I did not want to die waiting hoping to feel what I want to feel, craving and longing for it the way I am doing now. But it seemed like Killian was very adamant about his decision. He would not support me in this /madness/ as so many called it. It slowly started to set in for me. That I did not ask for the proper support. That this was not something I should rely on others to support me through.I slowly look away from him and I feel his eyes move to me now. His breathing was shallow and uneven and I could tell he was fighting back his tears. It did not feel right to put more pressure on him though, so I leaned into him again and remained silent.The man let out a long sigh, his nose burying into my hair,
Killian runs out of the room like a whole damn storm, leaving nothing but splinters, broken things and pain. It was not as if it did not already hurt, but the turned back, the absolute betrayal I feel coming from him digs deep into my chest, pain pooling within my wounded heart.It was something to be expected, wasn’t it? Men were usually like that weren’t they? It was as it every and each one of them was a carbon copy of the previous one and so on and so forth. Our kind has seen them come and go, all as heartless as they made them. It was no surprise that he was just another brick in the wall- or at least that’s what I kept telling myself as I am once more in this god forsaken room I was slowly growing to hate.As my whole being shakes with my crying, the twins in my belly start getting fussy and agitated, kicking and moving tirelessly around as if they were on a damn dancefloor. It hurt, but it did not compare to the pain that was crashing over me in waves, as the sea crashed again
Her brows are narrowed and her eyes are dark and her attitude unmoving. She seemed to have made up her mind without even asking me first. As I turn to her again I find her staring at me as If I were the biggest baddest wolf there was in the woods.There was fear, tangled with anger and frustration, alongside guilt and sadness, and somehow, no matter how insane she just sounded, I could not just blow up right now. “You are pregnant -“ I start speaking, trying to find a logical way to reason with her.“Very observant of you!” She huffs and rolls her eyes, as she moves away from her spot on the window sill, to find a better spot to sit in.I follow her with my eyes, pinned in my spot in the middle of the room, trapped between rushing out of the door and lashing out at her to smack some sense into her.“Maddy.” I start, my voice low as I slowly saunter towards her, pinching the bridge of my nose with a low sigh escaping my lips. “The Moonfire Eclipse ceremony is a dangerous thing to do!”