Chapter 1: The Mutt Who Survived

 

Sireen’s POV

I walk stealthily towards my first class, trying to stick to the shadows as best as I can, and all I can think of is how much I regret sleeping in today. If I had been in school earlier, I could have managed to avoid what I call my epic walk of shame on the first day of my second year.

As I take small cautious steps, I keep my head down and try to think of happy times. No such luck. Everyone's whispers keep playing on repeat in my head. I can’t even call these whispers if they’re audible enough that I don’t need my wolf’s enhanced hearing to pick up the words.

“The moon goddess should have taken you in his place.”

“I can't believe  you'd do something that wicked to your own brother.”

“It's all your fault.”

I bite down the sting of the words, as well as the memory of my brother’s life slipping through my fingers right in front of me that night. Walking towards my lecture hall reminds me of how much I miss Kyle, and of how much I'd rather be anywhere but here. Maybe I should have just…

“Sireen!” My best friend Camilla screams, jolting me from my thoughts, and I gasp. Unlike my very shy personality, Camilla can be very energetic. “Where on earth did your mind wander off to? I have been trying to get your attention for hours. You didn’t reply to my texts, and I’ve been calling your name for the last minute or so.”

“I literally just walked in,” I whisper, clutching my bag tighter.

“That doesn't matter.” She waves it off before she grabs onto my arm. “Are you okay?” She's searching my eyes for answers to things I didn't even understand. Before I can think of a lie, Camilla speaks. “What happened to Kyle wasn't your fault.”

That’s just who Camilla is. She chooses to believe the best in everyone even when they don't deserve it. Because I certainly do not deserve it. What happened to Kyle was my fault, but admitting to it would break me.

“Say it with me, Sireen. It wasn't my fault.”

“It wasn't my fault,” I choke out, but the words taste sour in my mouth because I definitely don't believe them.

“Again.”

“What happened with Kyle wasn't my fault,” I say with a little more life, but it’s not Camilla who responds.

“Don’t delude yourself, mongrel! It was nobody’s fault but yours. You could at least not be a coward for another second and own up to it.”

I turn to the speaker, and bile rises in my throat on taking the thick curls of her long brown hair and her forest green eyes in.

Kristy.

If there was someone I wish I could flush down the toilet, it would be her. I didn't like hearing her speak, not that I heard much of her speaking since her preferred means of communicating with me were sneers and pranks. But at least, she was telling the truth.

“Ohh fuck off, Kristy,” Camilla jumps in to defend me. “Don't listen to her, Sireen, come on,” she says, dragging me off while Kristy glowers. “We aren’t listening to that bitch.”

I follow my friend blindly, and we head down the halls before we finally part ways since we take different classes. I settled into the lecture hall and wished Camilla was here. Not having our first class together was torture.

I bury my head into my books and pretend to be taking notes, hoping everyone would just leave me alone, but, my wolf suddenly starts prancing in my head, rearing herself forward in high alert as she presses her furs roughly against my skin.  I don't pay attention. I just want to get this day over with.

Heat crawls up my spine, and my nose is assaulted by a scent, causing my head to snap up.

Then, Trevor, my brother's—late brother’s—best friend and our alpha in training, sprints in, his eyes searching for something in the crowd till his eyes land on me, and then he growls. Everyone immediately lowers their heads in respect, but I freeze in place, my heartbeat stopping altogether.

“Mate,” We both say under our breaths.

Then the professor walks in, and as madly as Trevor zoomed in, he storms out. And as much as I'd like to say that I pay attention to my class, I do not.

My mind races all over the place, my heart beating like I ran to catch a moving train, but it is Trevor's lingering scent that calms me, like he's reaching out to me. Trevor and I used to be friends just as he was friends with Kyle, but after we were both attacked and Kyle died, Trevor stopped talking to me. He and Kristy were close, too close, now that I thought about it, and whenever she pulled a prank on me, Trevor watched with indifference.

But for that split moment where Trevor had barged into my class, singling me out, and staring at me like that, I let myself believe that it would be alright. That we’ll be together and I'll be loved by my mate with the help of the fated bond.

When class ends, everyone filters out quickly, but I don't move because, through the corner of my eye, I notice that Trevor steps into the class as the last person files out, like he had been there all along.

He closes the door, turns the lock, and as he cages me in with his powerful alpha stride, I gulp, my heart beginning to flutter. I admire him. I can't help it.

His long dark hair, and his muscular physique, my eyes trace up from his waist and settle on his lips. I suppose there's no harm in admitting that I want my mate.

“Trevor,” I gasp under my breath when he finally holds my hands, excitement soaring in my chest. They look very small in his large ones—my hands.

“Sireen,” He says, like he’s testing my name on his lips after a long time, then he crouches low, flooding my lungs with his masculine scent as he scoops me up and sets me down on the table so we’re somewhat leveled now.

He looks into my eyes, holding me captive. “Do you want this too?”

I nod. I don't think I could have talked even if I tried to.

He tilts my head back exposing my neck better to drag in a deep breath, inhaling my scent. Arousal trickles out of me, knowing that my scent does the same thing to him that his does to me.

Trevor spreads my thighs apart slightly and takes a step closer to me while tracing a path from my neck to the tip of my nose with his. My breath catches in my throat, my chest starting to heave as I pant, breathless.

The space between our lips is so little as his lips now hover over mine, somehow like he's teasing us. When his lips touch mine and he groans softly, I breathe a sigh of relief. Almost immediately I realize I have no idea what to do, I have never been kissed before. But, it's like Trevor feels it too because he starts guiding me, teaching me.

He removes my tense hands from the table and places them behind his neck before returning a hand to my face and the other to my hips.

The kiss was a spark in my dark world, igniting something deep inside me, a fire I hadn’t known existed. In an instant, everything else fell away. I was someone my mate desired. Trevor would protect me, it didn't matter how much he probably hated me because of the death of my twin brother, his best friend.

He kisses me with untamed passion that makes me want him more. I draw closer, feeling his rock-hard erection through his jeans on my skin, and suddenly I'm blushing and breathless. I stop the kiss for air, but we don't move away. We breathe each other in.

“Hello.” He smiles when he notices the blush on my face, and I bury my head in his neck. This is what peace feels like. “Sireen,” he tests again, and I like my name on his lips.

“Hmm.”

“I want to see your wolf,” he rasps, and my world as I know it, spins to a halt.

Ohh no.

I never shift in front of people because…well, because my wolf is…deformed.

My mother always said that I was a late bloomer, but the fact was that something tragic enough just hadn’t happened to me yet. When my twin and I were attacked a year ago, and he tried to protect me, taking fatal shots that were meant for me, agony tore through me like a volcanic eruption.

The pain triggered my shift, but somewhere between it, I caught Kyle’s unmoving eyes, and I got stuck. As half human and half wolf.

I’d only tried to shift twice after his death, but my shift remained the same. A half shift.

I was a halfling.

This is my secret.

But Trevor is my mate, so it shouldn't matter, right?

He takes a step back from me and places me back on the floor, his hands still lingering on my waist like he didn't want to let go. But it's his eyes I'm looking at. For what? Answers? Can I trust him…not to run?

He nods silently.

There’s no way he heard my thoughts, but it feels nice that he replies.

So I shift.

It takes me a whole painful minute, but as soon as my one human and one wolf’s eyes meet Trevor’s, he takes two steps away from me, and I see the horror in his eyes.

“You're…a mutt!”

Then he laughs. Long and deliberate, hitting the only spot that hurts, and then, Trevor leaves me half-shifted in the empty classroom. And in that moment my heart shatters into a million pieces.