Not a Puppet

I pulled at my dress nervously.

All of my clothes were now picked out by Alpha Ronan, and I was not a fan of his style. My dress was weirdly sexy. It showed off my cleavage and was gold and sequined. I felt ridiculous. 

Alpha Ronan on the other hand smiled when he saw me. “Now you look like my Luna.” Before I could prepare myself he had wrapped his arms around me and kissed me. 

I shut my eyes tightly and pretended it was Ewan. Though Ewan would never kiss me so roughly or grab my ass in front of other people. 

“You taste so sweet,” Alpha Ronan grinned. “Hope you’re just as sweet in other places.”

I wanted to vomit. The thought of doing anything in the bedroom with him disgusted me, but I knew I would have to at some point. I was going to be the wife to an Alpha who were known to have high sex drives. As Luna, I would have to satisfy that sex drive. 

“Beta Grant, keep an eye on her while I attend a quick meeting, will you? Make sure she doesn’t jump out of the window.”

I couldn’t help but laugh. This actually made Alpha Ronan smile. Not in that creepy way when he got what he wanted, but in a genuine way. “I made you laugh.”

“That was actually a funny and clever comment.” I admitted. 

He gently touched my face and kissed me. “I will try to make you laugh more.”

He strutted out of the room looking quite pleased with himself. 

“That wasn’t funny,” Beta Grant commented. 

“Maybe not to you. I imagine you have the humor of a plank of wood.”

“Your little stunt almost got me in serious trouble, I don’t find it funny. And if Ronan found out that you….”

“Oh, you didn’t tell him about the kiss?” I smirked. “What would he do? Kill you?”

“He’d kill us both. Your future husband is a very jealous man. If he thinks there’s anyone else-”

“The only men I care anything about are my father and my husband. Both of them are dead, thanks to your brother. Alpha Ronan doesn’t need to be jealous. I will never fall in love with another man. Him included.”

“Don’t tell him that,” Beta Grant declared. “He’s not used to being rejected, who knows what will happen when he is?”

“Do you think he’d kill me?” I asked almost eagerly. 

“No! Stop with this whole death thing. You’re going to get yourself into trouble.”

“What do you care, you don’t even like me!”

“Yes, but I like being alive and if something happens to you, that might cease to happen so stop trying to ruin my life!” Beta Grant growled. 

“I’m not trying to do anything except die! If you’re caught in the crossfire of that, oh well.” I shrugged. 

“Of all the people The Moon Goddess could have chosen.” He shook his head as he angrily fell down onto the armchair. 

“Of all the people to have as a brother-in-law,” I replied, sitting across from him and crossing my legs.

From where he was sitting he could get a pretty good luck up my dress if I didn’t do so. “That dress is nice.” He offered. “Leaves nothing up to the imagination.”

“You don’t need to be imagining my body. Anyways, this dress is tacky.” I said dismissively. 

“On a less tacky woman it would look quite classy.”

“You know what Beta Grant you can kiss my a-”

“It’s time,” Alpha Ronan entered the room once more. “Are you ready to meet your pack?”

“Sure,” I forced a smile.

No, I really wasn’t. 

--

I was shaking standing in front of everyone. It was easy to tell which people were originally part of The Eclipse Pride and which ones had been made a part of it after Alpha Ronan conquered their pack. Their eyes were dead and haunted. 

It was almost fitting. I was going to be Luna to people who felt just the way that I did. 

“Welcome to the new pack members of The Eclipse Pride!” Alpha Ronan grinned. “I know it is strange to be in a new place, but you will become accustomed to our way of living very soon! To solidify this new alliance, your Luna, Bowen and I will be wed in two days.”

Why was he acting like this was a pact we had made as opposed to him forcing me into this relationship? Why did he expect me and my people to be happy about what just happened?

“I will now let your Luna address you. Please welcome my future wife, Luna Bowen!” Alpha Ronan smiled as I stepped forward. 

I took a breath. “Silver Streak Pack, um…I know we are in a difficult and confusing time. This is my first time addressing you as Luna and after the horrible events of last night-”

Alpha Ronan cleared his throat. He didn’t like me mentioning the massacre that occurred the night before. 

“Um…today is a new day. We are in a new place, which means we have…new opportunities as a pack, right? And um, I-I’m sure The Eclipse Pride will protect us and welcome us with open arms. While we have lost a lot, we have not lost everything. We should continue to be the pack that Alpha Ewan…knew we could be. As he used to say ‘to be a pack is to be a family and to be a family is to take care of one another’. We should live by his wise words and love the way he would…”

I couldn’t help myself, I broke down in tears. I hated this. I hated addressing my pack and saying the things he used to say because he wasn’t here to say them. I hated this dress and this stupid packhouse and that I had to kiss the man who took basically everything from me.

“Um…the Luna is very emotional! Probably because of her excitement for our wedding. Tomorrow night is the rehearsal dinner.” Alpha Ronan announced. “We shall see you all then.”

He grabbed my arm and pulled me away with Beta Grant in tow. We went to our room where he threw me down in the chair. 

“What is wrong with you Bowen?!” He demanded. “You just embarrassed me in front of everyone crying about that stupid man.”

“He’s my husband!” I sobbed. 

“No, he’s dead! I’m going to be your husband! You need to get over this!”

“You can’t force me to love you hours after you murdered the love of my life! What don’t you get about that?”

“You’re my mate, Bowen! What don’t you get about that? You’re supposed to love me!” He shouted. “So just fucking do it already!”

I looked him right in the eyes. “No. I won’t.”

His eyes lit up with fury as he grabbed me by my hair and pulled me up. “Yes, you will. You are mine. Y-you’re my mate! The Moon Goddess chose you for me!”

“So why don’t I feel anything but hatred for you?”

He raised his hand, but Beta Grant stopped him before he could slap me. “Let’s calm down shall we? This is no way to start off a marriage right?”

Alpha Ronan took a deep breath. “Beta Grant is right. You should stop making me angry. This is supposed to be a happy time for both of us.”

“Yes, it should be.” I said stiffly. 

“Beta Grant, escort my fiancee down the hall to the dressing room. She needs to pick her wedding dress.”

“Yes, Alpha.” 

“I hope you will like one of the dresses I picked out, Bowen. If not, I can get more.” Alpha Ronan said softly. 

“Thank you,” I whispered. I let him give me a kiss on the cheek before following Beta Grant out. 

“You didn’t have to do that, you know? I can take a hit.” I grunted.

He whipped around to face me. “I didn’t do that for you Luna Bowen! I don’t like seeing girls get hit! My father does it to my mother and…that’s probably where Ronan got it from, but he’s not usually like this. You’re making him this way.”

“I’m not a fucking puppet, Beta Grant. I can’t just act the way he wants me to.”

“Then at least pretend! You’re not going to get anywhere acting like a spoiled brat. Just because you’re used to mommy and daddy giving you your way doesn’t mean it works like that here!” Beta Grant hissed. 

“My mother died when I was three! My dad had to try to give me a better life on his own! I didn’t just get my way, I had to work for everything I’ve ever had! You think I just got Ewan because he was my mate? No, I had to get him to fall in love with me the proper way! So if Alpha Ronan wants me to fall in love with him, which I doubt I will, he’s gonna have to work for it!”

Beta Grant’s perfect jaw clenched. “Sorry about your mother.”

“Sorry about yours.” I whispered. 

We kept walking down the hall. We entered a room that was filled with wedding dresses. I was surprised when Beta Grant sat down. 

“Why are you staying?” I asked. 

“Because it’s my job to babysit you. I also have impeccable taste in dresses, remember?”

--

I tried on dress after dress and still hadn’t picked one. They were all beautiful but none of them felt like the one. I wasn’t sure any of them would feel that way, considering I was marrying a man I didn’t love and I wasn’t excited for the wedding. 

“Just pick one!” Beta Grant groaned. “You don’t even care about this wedding.”

“I still want to feel pretty,” I stated studying my reflection. The dress was pretty, but much too poofy and was too long.

“I’ll go get the second batch,” Saige said dully, slumping out of the room.

“I think that’s a nice one,” Beta Grant offered. 

“I hate the material.” I commented. 

“Do you want one similar to the one you wore last night?”

“Funny enough, I don’t want a dress that reminds me of when I was actually happy and that was so quickly taken away, but thanks.”

“You have a terrible attitude.”

“So we have something in common.”

Beta Grant stood up in frustration and stretched his arms up. I couldn’t help but notice the way his shirt rode up and showed off his V shaped muscles. Wow that’s a deep V. He must work out a lot.

He glanced over at me and I quickly looked away, out of the double window. I smiled slightly seeing that beautiful garden I had seen the night before. I walked towards the window to get a better look. My feet tripped over the insane amount of organza and I flew forward…right out of the window.