A Million Ways to Die

I hit the water hard and immediately sank to the bottom. I didn’t even try to swim up. I finally felt relief as my feet hit the bottom of the lake. This was it. I could see everyone I loved on the other side. My mother, my father, and Ewan. 

Of course I felt awful for my pack, but maybe if he wasn’t able to use them as leverage, Alpha Ronan wouldn’t kill them all. I also felt kind of bad that Beta Grant would suffer consequences for what happened, but he was also a jerk and would probably deserve it. 

I closed my eyes and let death take me…

I felt water shooting up my throat and I coughed fiercely and spit it out. Why the hell was I breathing?

I opened my eyes and saw a pair of beautiful blue eyes staring back at me. Maybe I actually was dead. I reached up and touched his face softly. 

“Ewan…” I murmured. “You’re here.”

“Are you okay?” His voice sounded different. It wasn’t as soft or melodic. It was panicked and worried. 

“Yeah, I’m with you,” I laughed. “Of course I’m okay. I’m happy. I love you.”

“Um Bowen-”

“Shh!” I pressed my fingers to his lips. “Use your lips for something else.”

I pulled him to me and kissed him passionately. This felt…different. His lips were over eager as though he had never kissed me before and his tongue massaged mine like it was exploring new territory.

This was not how Ewan kissed. 

I opened my eyes again and pulled away abruptly. It was Beta Grant that I was kissing. 

“What is wrong with you?” I demanded. 

“Me? You’re the one who tried to kill yourself and I had to save you!”

“But why did you do that? I wanted to die! A-and then you shove your tongue down my throat?” 

“You kissed me!” Beta Grant shot back. “I was just-caught off guard.”

“Yeah, okay, you sure weren’t pushing me or away or anything.” I forced myself up. 

My dress was now weighing me down.

“It was a lot going on, alright?” He barked. “This is your fault anyways, what kind of psycho jumps off of a waterfall?”

“The kind who wants to die!” I screamed. 

“Alright, enough games, Princess. I should have already had you back at the pack house, let’s go.”

“No,” I stated stubbornly.

Beta Grant’s blue eyes flashed angrily. “Bowen-”

“That’s Luna Bowen to you!”

“You’re going to come with me Luna Bowen.”

“You can’t make me,” I challenged. 

I got worried when  a smile came across Beta Grant's face. Oh this couldn’t be good. I gasped as he grabbed me and tossed me over his shoulder and started walking. 

“You put me down this instant!” I screeched. 

“Afraid I can’t do that, Luna Bowen,” He chuckled. “Like I said we’re close.”

“You’re going to pay for this, I swear.”

“Yeah, I’m sure I will.”

After five minutes, my throat was sore from yelling at him so I stopped. It wasn’t getting through to him anyways. I hung over Beta Grant’s shoulder limply, my arms swaying with each stride he took. 

“Home sweet home, Princess.” He grunted. 

I lifted my head and looked around squinting through the dark. The packhouse was immaculate! It was a large white brick building, the grass looked cut to perfection and I noticed a beautiful garden. 

What a beautiful place for my soul to die. 

Beta Grant didn’t set me down as he walked through the packhouse. We went all the way to the top floor, to the door all the way at the end of the hall with stunning gold double doors. 

He shoved them open and threw me down on the bed. 

I scrambled up, unsure of what I was going to do, but I definitely wanted to hit him. He was much too quick for me. He quickly exited the room, closing the doors. I heard the lock click as I ran towards the doors, desperately pulling at them. 

“Let me out!” I cried.

I sank to the floor damp, covered in blood and dirt and sobbing. The best day of my life had turned into the most horrific night I had ever experienced and now I wasn’t sure what to do.

I was in a strange place, engaged to a cruel man with an asshole as my future brother-in-law. 

Saige had been completely wrong about the Moon Goddess. She didn’t favor me.

She hated me. 

--

I hadn’t realized I had fallen asleep until the sound of the door creaking open awoke me. I looked up from the floor and saw Alpha Ronan entering the room.

“What the hell happened to you?” He questioned. 

“I jumped off a waterfall,” I answered blankly. 

“Why?”

“I was hoping to drown honestly. Your brother saved my life.”

“Then he did his job the right way.” Alpha Ronan laughed.

He held out his hand to me and I took it. He looked me over and I suddenly felt self conscious. 

I caught my reflection in the mirror. I looked horrible. My make up was smeared and there were twigs and leaves in my dark curly hair. All the  happiness that had been in my eyes earlier had vanished. My light had been snuffed. 

“You look terrible,” Alpha Ronan stated, breaking me out of my thoughts.

“Thank you,” I breathed. 

“You need to be bathed. I’m introducing you to your new pack tomorrow, you must look perfect.” He tucked my hair behind my ear. “I think you and I are going to be very happy together.”

“Well, we have no choice, right? Otherwise my pack dies.”

“You’re hurting right now, and I understand that. However, I need this little attitude of yours to disappear before our wedding, do you understand me Bowen? You will not make a fool out of me in front of my pack.”

“Oh Alpha Ronan, you do that all on your own.” I chuckled bitterly.

His hand wrapped around my neck and slammed me into the wall. “You don’t speak to me like that.” He said through gritted teeth. “You will respect me, Bowen. Because every time you don’t, there will be consequences..for you and your pack. Never forget who has the power, my love.”

He released me and I gasped for air. “Why can’t you just kill me?” 

“Well, because you’re my mate. I love you.”

--

As the warm water surrounded my body in the bath, I pulled my knees to my chest and I thought of all the ways I could kill myself in the next forty-eight hours. I could jump off of the roof? No, there was no guarantee with that. I could hang myself? But what if my neck didn’t break and someone came across me hanging there and saved me? Could I piss Alpha Ronan off enough to kill me? No, my luck was not that good.

“Luna Bowen?” I looked up and saw Saige. “Is everything okay?”

Not even her presence could make me smile. “No, everything is horrendous.”

“It’s really not that bad. You still get to be Luna.”

“Do you think I care about being Luna?! My father is dead. My husband…my Ewan…the only man I ever loved is dead and now I have to marry the person responsible for that! Things are that bad!”

“You get to start over Bowen! You saved the pack. This is what it means to be a Luna!” Saige cried. “So at least try to be happy that you’re alive and you get another chance to be married. The Moon Goddess-”

“I don’t give a damn about The Moon Goddess! She’s forsaken me! Why would she give me Ewan just to snatch him away so cruelly? Why would she give me love just for me to end up miserable? You will never understand this, Saige.”

“Right, I won’t because no one’s ever loved me, Bowen! I’ve never had happiness the way you do, and I probably never will! Thank you for reminding me!” Saige stormed out of the room.

“Saige, wait I didn’t….mean it like that.” I sighed. 

Maybe a nasty tumble down the stairs would break my neck.