30- My 'Dearest' Friend

Meg

Most of my life- I dare say, I have been unhappy. I felt sort of numb and misplaced somewhat until Jax pulled me out of the frigid, cold waters, of the Mount White Stone River. The first thought that came to me was the little one in my tummy. Womb- I'd learnt this word when I joined the maternal clinical afterwards. I’d also learnt that you didn’t check babies by months while you carried them but by weeks.

Forty weeks is each approximate calculation for the due date- which could go either way. But we aren’t talking about my pre-natal time, are we?

The doctors told me that jumping into the water was nothing to fret over because I survived. His joke did not make me laugh as he had intended. Then he went on to adjust his glasses, telling me that a scarily large number of mothers go through a depression stage; either pre- or post-pregnancy when I had made a scene in the emergency ward about checking to see if my baby was still alive.

He hadn’t known what I mean. I’d meant my trans