25- Misery

A.N

*Trigger warning- suicidal thoughts ahead.

Meg

Our alpha is my mate! I know it to be true just as the life growing inside me. I honestly do not think it is wishful thinking on my part as Blue puts it. But why don’t I feel this fierceness that everyone talks about? I just feel- disgust- for him- for me...

Jax had asked me if I felt any type of joy at the sight of the alpha. My answer was no. “Hmm, well Juliet, had he really been your mate you would know because when you do the –er- stuff,” he made a motion of a circle with one hand and stuck his index finger from his other hand inside the centre. The understood sign for s*x.

“You would feel the fulfilment. Like my mother said when the mate-bond was filled, for her and my father, nothing made sense and yet everything did. She would have given her life in a heartbeat for him- above all else. Even me. And my father for her.” His tone had gone quiet. “And when she lost my father, she almost died too. Do you feel that way?”

I had