Chapter 2

It was so peaceful here it hurt.

How long had Beth suffered that the first moment without pain, only calm and quiet, could hurt her so badly? 

She doubled over and fell to her side, half-sprawled, half-curled. 

She had no idea where she was or what had happened to her, but this was too much to take in. 

This empty place she could neither describe nor even properly see, hear, taste, nothing - this place where she was no longer in pain, no longer dying, this place where her body had at least found peace and respite from the torment, the agony... 

She didn't know if she could take it. She didn't know who she was without the pain.

"Come."

The gentle voice came from above her, and all at once, someone was standing in front of her. 

Beth's gaze drifted up, following the woman's willowy frame until it rested upon her face.

And oh, she was beautiful. Young and old at the same time, innocent but wise, joy tempered by age-old tragedy. She had the softness of feathers, the brilliance of wildflowers, the face of a mother. 

She was bare from head to toe, and from second to second, her form flickered as if Beth were looking at her from the other side of a shimmering veil. 

"You're the Moon Goddess," Beth breathed. She sat up, staring. "You're real."

The woman only smiled.

"I stopped believing in you. Or maybe I just started believing you hated me." 

If she had known she would have this chance to meet the Moon Goddess face to face, Beth would have prepared a more impressive speech, impassioned and angry. 

She would have shown no weakness, only bitter fury at what the goddess had forced her to endure. 

But all she had now was numb grief, defeat. "You gave me a mate who broke me," she whispered. 

"You did that. You fated me to a mate who wanted me to suffer, and he did things to me worse than death. My daughter..." She no longer even had tears to cry. 

"I prayed to you for the first time in months right before I died. Because I'm supposed to be dead, right? And if you're really the Moon Goddess, then you know that." 

Beth's hands flew to her chest, pressing against the dark, ugly void expanding inside it. 

"I'm giving you another chance. To make things right."

"Whatever body, whatever life you give me this time, I don't want a mate. Ever. That's all I ask. And..." Tears welled in her eyes, hot and burning. 

"Take care of my daughter. She never deserved any of this. She's just a baby...It's my fault. I was so stupid. Now I can't ever..."

"You misunderstand," said the Moon Goddess. "I'm not giving you a new life. I'm giving you a second chance."

"...I don't understand?"

"I've seen all the suffering you've endured. The mate I fated to you - what he did was against nature, against all law. This won't be borne." 

The woman held Beth's face in her hands, warm and soft and strong. 

"But make no mistake. This is also about the suffering of others that you had a hand in. You owe them a great debt, great amends, and with this chance, it'll be up to you to make the right decisions this time. Now you know. Now you see. You'll have all the wisdom you suffered so much for, but this time, you can use it to step wisely...You can use it to change your destiny."

"Goddess, I don't understand."

"You will."

* * *

Beth shot up from the bed, hair plastered to her forehead with damp sweat. A dream, a nightmare, a confusing illusion. She remembered every second of the fantastical impossibility her mind had conjured with the so-called Moon Goddess and second chances, all that terrifying confusion as the world collapsed around her.

But what was even more confusing was how she was sitting up. No, not just sitting up, something she hadn't been able to do for months, but feeling - excellent. Her body was strong, healthy, albeit trembling with adrenaline. And...what? This wasn't the bed Annalise had shoved her into. This was her old bed, from home. This was...

"Beth! Elizabeth! Oh, thank the Moon Goddess you're awake."

Before she could understand what was happening, a pair of arms wrapped around her, and a woman sobbed into her hair. Beth froze, her entire body rigid. "Mom?" she croaked. "Mom - you...you can't be here, you're...you're dead...you've been dead for years..."

"What are you saying? Oh, Moon Goddess, I was so afraid when they said you weren't healing properly. Your father and I are right here, everything's going to be fine. And I've already talked to him, we're not going through with this engagement. Oh, Beth! I didn't know you were so desperate to get out of it that you would hurt yourself like this."

Her mother burst into tears as Beth stared over her shoulder at the somber man standing by the bedside, face drawn and grey. Oh, Moon Goddess. Her father, her mother, both of them right here...How was this possible? And what? This was...Memories tumbled and flowed in her head, filling her consciousness. Old memories, ones she had buried so long ago she could barely remember them.

Oh, Moon Goddess, she thought, cold shock bursting in her awareness like an ice bath. How was this possible? 

This was - the night before she had gone to find Matt, the man meant to marry Annalise, and convinced him to run away with her. This was the night she had sealed her fate, ignorant of all the pain waiting for her at the end of the path she had taken. This was the night when everything had changed.

"Your father disagrees since he says the marriage is too important, but he'll come around. Your happiness is more important than politics, Beth." Her mother stroked her hair, voice breaking. "You're too important. We'll call off the engagement, and you can choose who you want to marry. That's the end of it."

This was the same conversation from years ago. And this was the same conversation that had led to another yelling match, another fight...In the end, Beth had still run away. Was this real? How was this possible? Time...she had gone back in time, years back, to when she had been seventeen.

"Wait," she interrupted. "It's fine. I'll go ahead with the marriage. The way you arranged it, I mean. Let it go on as planned."

Her mother froze, and at the same time, the solemn expression vanished from her father's face as it turned to confusion.

"...Honey, I mean it. Your father will come around -"

"I mean what I said too. But wait, tell me what happened. I can't remember anything too clearly after I jumped down from the balcony. I was supposed to be trying on the dress and making sure it still fit properly, right?"

"Oh, honey! They said your memory would be fuzzy but I hoped...yes, honey. Your father was trying to chase after you and so was everyone else, so you jumped from the second floor, but you didn’t finish shifting in time and..."

And landed on her head, she remembered. Stupid! She had been so stupid back then. But yes, now Beth could confirm it for sure. This was the night before her wedding, just hours before she had sneaked away again and tried to run away with Matt. All to spare Annalise from a marriage she didn't want...all for her younger sister who had betrayed her. She clenched her fists under the covers. But it was fine now. Her body was strong again. She had been injured, she remembered, but she had recovered completely - and now, she had something she needed to do.

"I'm marrying into the Heether family, the way you arranged," she announced once more. "Don't cancel the engagement."

"Honey, don't spare our feelings. This is about your future."

"Dad knows I don't speak lightly to spare anyone's feelings. I know this is about my future. I'm doing this for me. Don't worry, I mean what I said. Don't cancel the engagement." Beth caught her father's gaze. "And I won't try to run off again and hurt myself. Trust me. I won't let you down."

Her father stared back. He was confused, she knew. For months up until the wedding, she had fought so hard, given them so much grief...and now, she was giving in with no explanation. Of course he wouldn't understand.

If only he knew the truth. But it was better that he didn't. Better that no one did. 

And if this was really her second chance, she would make sure she did it right this time.

"Well...we'll talk about it some more after you've rested, honey." Her mother patted her back and stroked her face, unwilling to leave. "Sweet dreams, Beth. Honey, let's go."

It was too hard to explain anything to them. They would think she was crazy, and even if they did believe her, it would only break their heart. No, she thought as she watched them inch their way out of her old bedroom, glancing at each other and back at her. It was better they didn't know.

Especially since Beth's plans involved their younger daughter. Her sister. Annalise.

"Beth? Can I come in?"

And here she was, slinking in with that innocent face and big, watery eyes. Moon Goddess, if Beth had known back then that this innocent face had hidden such cruelty all along, she would have just...But that was it. This was her second chance. She had that opportunity now. She watched impassively as Anna slinked up to her bedside, hands fiddling in front of her nightgown and mouth in a trembling pout. All a pretense...all a front.

"I was listening from the other side of the door," Anna whispered. "I'm glad you're okay. But you shouldn't give up. Keep fighting! You're so strong, I know you have what it takes. You know I'm always on your side...If you want to try to escape again tonight, they won't suspect. You'll have another chance, and I'll help you -"

"No, thanks. I'm going to go ahead with what Dad wants. I'm sorry, Anna, I've done all I could. We'll just have to get by."

The facade slipped from Anna's face ever so slightly. Long ago, Beth would never have noticed. "B-but you were going to run away with Matt. You said you never forgot him even after all these years...And you said you had a crush on him even before you ever learned to shift. Don’t you remember? When you told me you met back then and felt pulled to him? That has to mean something, that you’re compatible. And you’ll be so miserable if you marry a stranger instead, it should at least be someone you liked before..."

"Well, feelings fade." Beth shrugged. "It's not that big of a deal. Maybe I’ll end up liking my fiance, too."

"But Beth, don't let Mom and Dad win! You can do this. You have to do this. For your happiness. I'll help you, I mean it. You can find Matt, and you're so beautiful, how could he say no? You can convince him to run away with you, and then you won't have to marry that other guy, and -"

"And you won't have to marry Matt. Yeah, I remember." Beth smiled. "But we all have to grow up sometime. Let's just behave, okay? Anna."

Oh, yes. Moon Goddess, how good it felt to spot the glimmer of frustration, rage, and confusion in Anna's eyes. How good it felt to thwart her schemes this time instead of falling for them...

"Also, I'm really tired. How about you get ready for bed. I'm going to sleep a little more."

"But Beth -"

"Really. My head hurts. Good night."

Oh, this was a fantasy come true. When the door latched shut behind the sulking Anna who couldn't stop staring at her in dumbstruck confusion, Beth sighed and leaned back against the headboard.

Reborn. But not as someone else - as herself, years before. The Moon Goddess had answered her prayer in a way she had never imagined...How could this be possible?

Well, it didn't matter. What did matter was that it was real, and it was already happening. Beth wouldn't waste time wondering at it. Not when she had so much to do, so many mistakes to correct. A second chance...

A knock at the door made her frown. Who was it this time? "What is it?" she called. "I'm resting."

"Ah...Miss Beth, I'm sorry, but there's someone who's come by to see you."

Oh, one of her father's servants. He must have posted him by her door in case she hadn't been sincere about her promise not to run away again. Smart. "Who is it?" she asked.

"It's your sister's fiancé, Miss Beth. It's Matt of the Catii family."