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2024-10-29 19:42:56FALLON
Gray’s words hit me like a ton of bricks, knocking all of the air out of me.
He kicked me out?!
My eyes swim with tears as I turn tail and run from the dining hall back to the barracks, overwhelmed by the enormous sense of loss I feel. The loss of my dream to make the squad, the loss of Gray. It’s too much. As soon as I reach the barracks, I can’t hold it back anymore and I burst into tears. I’m half blinded by them as I make my way to my bunk, stooping down to pull my suitcase out from underneath.
My whole body hurts- it’s like the gut-wrenching pain of Gray’s words is manifesting physically. It feels like there’s an empty hole in my chest where my hope used to reside. My body is wracked with sobs as I unzip my suitcase, flinging it open. I stomp around to the little open closet at the end of the bunk, pull on a t-shirt and shorts, and start yanking my clothes off of the hangers and throwing th
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Alpha Gray 26
GRAY I’ve been pacing in my room at the squad barracks since I left the dining hall. My wolf is still furious, on edge, ready to tear to the surface. I should go run. Jax took Hannah to the infirmary, but her arm was already starting to heal. She’ll be fine soon enough and won’t even have a scar to show for it. Me, on the other hand… I’m not sure if my wolf will ever forgive me for sending Fallon away. I haven’t forgotten the way that Hannah was glaring at Fallon on the practice field this morning. I wouldn’t be surprised if she was the one who instigated the fight. Still, that doesn’t excuse Fallon’s behavior. I can’t let her get away with something like that just because my wolf wants her. What kind of leader would I be if I let my personal relationships get in the way of pack safety? I decide to go for a run. Thoughts of Fallon must be seeping into my subconscious, because I swear I can smell her as I
Alpha Gray 27
GRAY “Well, what’s the word?” Theo asks as I approach him and the other guys in the arena the next morning. I asked them to meet me here a little early so we could discuss what happened last night and make sure they’re okay with reinstating Fallon. I have a feeling Brock’s going to push back, so I’m already bracing myself for the worst. “Good morning to you, too,” I grumble, settling my hands on my hips. My eyes are heavy from lack of sleep- I was tossing and turning all night, regretting how things ended with Fallon and dreading this conversation. “I assume you all know what I want to talk about,” I say, looking around at Jax, Brock, Reid, and Theo. Jax cracks a smile. “Yeah, we figured it was about what your girl did last night.” I sigh, staring at the ground and kicking at the dirt. “Yeah.” I wish the fight between Hannah and Fallon hadn’t happened, and I wish even more that it wasn’t over me. The wh
Alpha Gray 28
FallonWednesday night rolls around and I’m assigned to patrol again. I worry that things will be a little awkward with Vienna since I took her out of the tournament this afternoon, but she doesn’t hold a grudge. She’s a fucking delight, as usual, which somehow makes my victory even more hollow.The tournament has been awesome so far. Everyone got their first match in over the past two afternoons, and the victors are moving on to the next round tomorrow. Davis wound up losing his matchup against Judd, but since there was an odd number of victors advancing, the alphas threw us all a curveball and chose one of the losers to move on, too. Davis got the wildcard vote from them, which he totally deserved- he put up a hell of a fight against Judd.Boyd’s advancing, too- he gave Connor a lot of shit for losing his matchup against Shay yesterday, but now he’s shaking in his boots a little because he&r
Alpha Gray 29
GRAY I almost take Brock’s head off when he fills me in on everything that happened last night. I was alerted that the rogue was back right after he was spotted, but he conveniently left out the part about Fallon being attacked. Probably because he knew I’d rage out, and I guess he thought that was better left to after we set a plan in motion to track down the rogue. We still haven’t found him, which makes matters even worse. That just means the threat’s still out there, lurking, and could reappear at any time. I’ve got my best guys out there trying to track him down, but so far, I haven’t heard anything. I’m on edge, ready to explode at any moment. We need to get this rogue situation handled, and we aren’t going to do that by sitting around and waiting for him to attack again. If we don’t wind up finding him today, we’ll need to regroup, get a new plan in motion. For that, we’ll need Fallon. A knock comes at m
Alpha Gray 30
FALLON It may have gotten off to a rough start, but now I swear I’m having the best goddamn week of my life. Yesterday’s little rendezvous with Gray was by far the hottest sexual experience I’ve ever had, even if it was interrupted before we could seal the deal. Now I know for sure that this thing isn’t over between us, despite what he said before. Yesterday proved that he wants me every bit as badly as I want him, and when I want something, I fucking go for it. No, this definitely isn’t over, and I’m eagerly awaiting the next time we’re alone. Having an alpha punch my v-card will be a pretty epic way to lose it. I was riding the high of my little tryst with Gray when I entered the arena to face off against Brennan yesterday, and my wolf absolutely destroyed his. The alphas didn’t even have to deliberate- I was the clear winner, which means I’ve moved on to the next stage of the tournament. They threw in another wildcard to ac
Alpha Gray 31
GRAY “Hey,” I breathe, leaning against the doorframe of the infirmary. “Hey yourself.” Fallon grins, swinging her long tan legs over the edge of the cot. She sets her feet on the floor, pushing slowly off of the cot with her arms, testing her strength. A couple of hours have passed since her injury, so the bone in her leg should be healed by now. After I delivered Fallon to the infirmary earlier, I returned to the arena for the remainder of the tournament. Even though I knew she’d heal, and she was exactly where she needed to be to recuperate, I was distracted from the moment I left her side. Which is a perfect example of why I tried to cut things off with her in the first place- neither of us need distractions right now. Still, I can’t help myself- I’ve got this magnetic attraction to Fallon that I’m clearly powerless to resist. Maybe it’s time to give up the fight and just let it happen. I immediately
Alpha Gray 32
FALLON Between sessions on Friday, I finally have a chance to fill Brooke in on everything that has been happening lately. Being the perfect angel she is, she’s shocked to hear that I nearly swiped my v-card at Gray’s register, but she doesn’t admonish me for wanting to keep things going with him, which I appreciate. While it’s exciting that Gray and I have this little secret affair going, I’m glad I have someone I can talk things through with. I don’t think he’d care if he knew I told my sister. I trust her more than anyone in the word, and I know she’ll keep our secret, too. I’m actually relieved that Gray and I had the chance to talk and clarify things. I’m so on board with keeping things casual- the last thing I need to worry about during training camp is a relationship. I’ve never been in one, and I don’t think I’d be very good at it anyways. Not to mention the reason I’ve always avoided them- the ever-present fe
Alpha Gray 33
FALLON I’m pretty sure Judd’s trying to flirt with me. When he spotted me at the bar, he basically made a beeline in my direction and has focused his attention on me ever since. Not that I mind, of course- it’s nice to be complimented- but Judd was the last person I expected to hit on me tonight. He’s got alpha energy in that he’s pretty arrogant and full of himself, and from what I’ve seen he’s got a type- he’s only shown interest in the quieter, smaller, more dainty girls at camp. I’m none of those things. I’m slender, but I’m tall and toned, and I’m far from quiet. Judd’s an attractive guy- he’s bulky and muscular like Davis, and he’s got shaggy light brown hair and boyish good looks. His fighting skills make him even more attractive in my book; the dude’s a beast and has consistently stayed near the top of the rankings. He’s probably one of the hottest guys at training camp, but I haven’t paid much attention to that since
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Alpha Gray 55
FALLON It feels a little strange returning to the squad complex on Tuesday morning, like I’ve been away for weeks rather than days. So much has happened since I passed through the gate on Saturday afternoon, staring out the window from the backseat of Boyd’s dad’s SUV, turning over in my mind whether I’d have the courage to come back for the full moon run. I’m so fucking glad I did. I was being a total chicken, which isn’t like me at all. Then again, love makes you do some crazy, foolish things. Thank god my sister was there to make me realize how stupid I was being and talk me into coming back to face the music- I definitely owe her one. I’ll add it to the list of debts I owe Brooke for always coming through when I need her. Gray slides the Jeep into his usual spot outside the gate, throwing it in park and cutting the engine. He turns to me, dark eyes alight w
Alpha Gray 54
GRAY “They’re ready for you, Alpha,” Deke says, peering in the doorway of my bedroom at the packhouse expectantly, a grin spreading across his face. He’s looking forward to this almost as much as I am- the moment I finally get to tell my pack that I’ve found my mate. While Deke and I have done our best to hold our fractured pack together since I was forced to prematurely step up as their alpha, having a luna completes our pack in some sense, makes us more whole. The future of our pack is brighter than ever. I’m so fucking proud to introduce Fallon to the pack as my mate. She’s a perfect luna- so strong and brave, a force to be reckoned with. I couldn’t have designed a better she-wolf to lead the pack with me if I’d tried; she’s so much more than I could’ve ever imagined. I can tell she’s nervous- she’s changed her clothes twice since we returned to the packhouse, and she’s been fiddling with her hair in the mir
Alpha Gray 53
GRAY I wake the next morning from the best night’s sleep of my life. I spent hours alternating between fucking and making love to Fallon, coaxing moans from her pouty lips and watching her pant and writhe in pleasure. I’m still completely in awe of her, still in disbelief that she’s finally mine, forever. We’ve sealed the mate bond; nothing can separate us. I was so wrapped up in Fallon last night that I totally forgot about the full moon run, or the fact that my pack was probably wondering where the hell I went after it ended. My bedroom’s far enough away from the main area of the packhouse that I doubt anyone could’ve heard us- but then again, with the way Fallon was screaming, it’s anyone’s guess. There’s no concealing my contentedness when I enter the kitchen of the packhouse the next day. Deke’s cooking something in a pan on the stove and I stop in the doorway, leaning idly against it and clearing my throat to ann
Alpha Gray 52
FALLON “I always knew it was you,” Gray murmurs in my ear as he carries me through the packhouse, up the stairs and down the hall. Warmth spreads in my chest as I plant a shower of kisses on his cheeks, his nose, his eyelashes, his forehead. I’m so in awe of him, of how it feels to be his, for him to be mine. My parents were right; there’s no way to put the mate bond into words. It’s complete and utter euphoria. Everything I’ve ever felt for Gray is multiplied tenfold; the emotions are so overpowering I don’t know whether I want to laugh or cry or scream or pass out. Scratch that- I know what I want. I want him to take me to his bed and fuck me senseless. Gray kicks the door of his bedroom closed behind us, carrying me over to the bed and tossing me down onto it. My body bounces with the springy softness of the mattress, then his body covers mine, his lips crushing down in another bruising kiss. He pushes himse
Alpha Gray 51
GRAYThey say if you love something, you should let it go. So I did. I set her free, and I don’t think she’s coming back.I still have no regrets.Those weeks I spent with Fallon were the first time I’ve felt alive- really alive- in a long time. For the past five years, I’ve been numb, frozen in my grief, pushing forward blindly and refusing to let anyone or anything in, refusing to really feel anything. Throwing myself into my duties as alpha and to the security squad to avoid any semblance of an actual personal life. Then Fallon came along and started chipping away at the dam, breaking it down and causing a flood.Even if she doesn’t come back, at least I had that glimpse at happiness for a moment. I now know for certain that there can be real joy in life on the other side of the pain I’ve been suffering since my family was ripped away from me. She’s both
Alpha Gray 50
GRAY “Will you shut the fuck up and focus?” Brock snaps, pounding his fist on the table. We’ve been shut in this stuffy conference room for the better part of an hour, combing through the details of every recruit’s last trial, agonizing over our final selections for the squad. The conversation about Bex started to go off the rails when Jax commented on her massive rack, then took a nosedive when Theo started in on what he’d do if he had the opportunity to take her home for a night. Brock, Reid and I are all used to their antics by now, but we’re stressed, we’re exhausted, and more than anything, we’re ready to get the hell out of this room. Now isn’t the time for the Jax and Theo roadshow. “Jeez, man, lighten up,” Theo grumbles, shooting Brock a sideways glance. Brock lets out an exasperated sigh, scrubbing a hand over his face. “I just want to get this over with.” “Me too,” Reid agrees. “Let’s
Alpha Gray 49
FALLON It might seem like overkill for my friends and I to sneak in extra training after the alphas work us so hard all day, but our nighttime sessions have quickly become my favorite ritual. As wolf shifters, we already have a strong drive to stick close with one another, be part of a pack, and the bonding that occurs when you spend an extended amount of time with the same people is no different. It’s like my friends and I have formed our own little pack within the pack, learning each other’s strengths and weaknesses, having one another’s backs. I feel a tinge of sadness when Boyd suggests we call it a night on Friday evening, the realization sinking in that this is our little group’s last after-hours session together. By this time tomorrow, we’ll know whether we’ve made the squad- and I’m so hopeful that we’ll all make it, together. It seems like the others must have similar sentiments, because we take a little longe
Alpha Gray 48
FALLON “Girl, you’re on fire!” Shay laughs, elbowing me. “About time you got that damn flag, for real this time!” We’re sitting at our usual table in the dining hall on Wednesday evening, still pumped about our war games win this afternoon. The alphas let us choose our own teams this time around, so naturally my friends and I fielded ourselves together. I got the flag fair and square and I even made it across the boundary without one of my own teammates taking me down- and the best part? Since we were all teamed together, we all get to share the victory. “What’s this about a flag?” Brooke asks, walking up behind me with a plate in hand. “I keep hearing something around the complex about how my sister’s a total badass.” She waggles her eyebrows, setting her plate on the table and kicking a leg over the bench, sliding in to take a seat beside me. I’ve totally turned it around since Monda
Alpha Gray 47
FALLON I feel like shit. I’ve been bottling everything up since Saturday night- I haven’t even gone to Brooke to talk things over. I don’t know why… maybe I’m embarrassed? I feel like a fool for getting involved with Gray. Hannah’s words still haunt me. As I jog onto the practice field on Monday morning, all of my muscles are achy, like the pain I’ve tried to bury deep in my soul is physically manifesting in my body. Then I see Gray standing out there with the other alphas and the sight of him cuts like a dagger straight to the heart. Even in his workout attire- gym shorts and a cutoff t-shirt- he’s an Adonis. His magnetic eyes immediately find mine. I dart my gaze away quickly, staring at the back of Davis’ neck instead as I follow him to the center of the practice field and take a spot beside him. I’m now close enough that I can smell Gray, my wolf stirring in response, but I can’t bring myself to look at him
