XERAPHINA
In an instant, a searing pain slices through my chest, causing me to hunch over, clutching my heart. The anguish grips me beyond any pain I have ever felt before, as if squeezing the very life out of me. It’s worse than the pain I felt when I was transforming into my wolf for the first time.
It was wrong of me to reject Cassius. He has been a part of my life since I was born. Cassius has seen me through every milestone growing up. Even as I went through my preteen stages and then became a teenager. Cassius was even there for me when I was shifting into my wolf for the first time. He’s been there for me forever until he got married to Charity. Then he cut all ties with me until two weeks ago.
Two years without Cassius by my side and the whole time, he knew I was his fated mate. I don’t understand why Cassius has done this to me. He rejected me before I could even understand what was happening. I became nothing to him when he married Charity. Just like I became nothing to my father, because I was born a girl. The girl, keeping my father from his perfect alpha male lineage. Now I’m the woman keeping Cassius from being a powerful beta wolf.
Oh, hell no! I will not let Cassius bring me down. I refuse to take this beating. Regardless of being a female, I am an alpha female. ‘You’re stronger than this. Don’t let him win. You’ve done the right thing in rejecting him. He doesn’t deserve you,’ I tell myself. A newfound energy welling up inside of me.
With a deep breath, I lift myself up, aligning my posture, and fixing my gaze on Cassius. Intense emotions stretch his features and tears pool inside his eyes, threatening to spill over. His quivering lips betray his vulnerability.
“I am alpha female Xeraphina of the Silver Crescent Moon Pack. Regardless of being a female, I am strong, and this is how I want things to be. I will not accept you as my mate, Cassius. The moon goddess has made one colossal mistake. You betrayed me in the worst ways imaginable. Accept my rejection so we can move on with our lives. Even if it ends with us dying. I can’t take this pain anymore. This whole situation is killing me. It has been since yesterday. You allowed Charity to come in and break my heart further yesterday. Can’t you see that? So hurry and accept my rejection. If we die from this, then so be it.”
“Xeraphina, you are everything to me. You always have been. Please believe me when I tell you I have always longed for this,” he pauses briefly before continuing, “you. However, you were too young.” With a pleading look, he holds his heart and takes a deep breath. “I am determined to regain your trust and prove that I am worthy of being your mate.”
“So you’ve always longed for me, but you slept with countless other women! While you were married, I might add! All in front of my face! You didn’t even bother stopping your escapades, even after I started accompanying you all to rodeos. Cassius, you don’t give a shit about me, or you would have stopped sleeping with those other women.”
“I’m a virgin. I’ve saved myself for you, Xeraphina.”
My eyes fixate on the ceiling as I inhale deeply, attempting to find solace. This intense agony piercing through my chest must cease. Cassius needs to come to terms with my rejection so that we can move on with our lives. However, he is proving to be stubborn as hell. Why can’t he release his grip on this situation? Liberate me from the torment and anguish he has inflicted on me for the past two years. What have I ever done to warrant the pain he has caused me?
“You may not have had actual full-blown sex, Cassius. But your tongue and fingers have been inside other women. Believe it or not, that’s sex. And someone else’s mouth and hands have been all over what is supposed to be mine. You are anything but a virgin, Cassius! Foreplay is just another form of sex, you ignorant asshole!”
“I was going insane, Xeraphina. Charity never allowed us to do anything but kiss. Ever. Not the whole nine years we dated, or even after we got married. Hell, she wouldn’t let me kiss her the night after we got married. We slept in the same bed just once after we got married, but didn’t cuddle or anything. We decided not to mark each other. She went out looking for her mate and I was with other women to get my mind off of you. It was excruciating knowing who my mate was and that I couldn’t have her. I had to keep myself away from you. Being with other women kept me from being a damn pedophile, Xeraphina.”
“It’s too late Cassius. You could have told me the whole truth two weeks ago. There was an opening where you could have told me I was your mate and why you did the things you did. I would have forgiven you, then. But I had to learn that we were mates from that crazy wench you married. I’ve never liked Charity. She’s naturally a horrid woman. I understand now why I hated her and was always so jealous of her. This whole thing is nothing but a heartache. Nothing but a mistake. The moon goddess must hate me. Otherwise, I don’t see why she would have mated me to you.”
CASSIUSI hoped rescuing Xeraphina during her first wolf transformation would make her consider giving me a chance. However, being there for her did not give me the result I wanted. Despite Luna Sarah’s disapproval, I stayed and waited for her to shift into her wolf form. Luna Sarah was right - it would take time for Xeraphina to feel at ease around me.I knew Xeraphina would be hungry when she returned, so I started making her favorite breakfast. The waffles were easy, but the omelet took a while because I wanted it to be perfect. In a skillet, I cooked diced ham and chicken. I chopped onions and minced garlic. I even minced parsley, oregano, and other spices in a separate skillet. With four eggs from the chickens, I made a huge omelet. I wanted to do everything myself to make sure it was perfect, even though some omega women offered to help. While I was waiting for Xeraphina, time felt like it was lagging. Now she’s here, but things aren’t going as planned.I thought Xeraphina would
XERAPHINAClutching some oven mitts, I open the oven, bend down and retrieve my plate. As I rise, I glance back to see the bewildered look on Cassius’s face. “Do you need something? Or can I eat in peace?” He blinks a few times before turning and leaving the kitchen with his shoulders slumped and his head hung low.Do I feel any remorse for hurting Cassius's feelings and being harsh? Absolutely not. Should I feel guilty? Nope. He deserved the full force of my words. I should have gone even further than what I said before. I don’t believe I expressed myself enough. However, during that conversation, I was in unbearable pain, and the longer it went on, the worse the pain became. What he doesn’t realize is that the bond between us is now weak. His scent doesn’t affect me as strongly anymore, and I barely felt any tingles when he touched me or hugged me after not accepting the rejection. Thankfully, Cassius’ not accepting the rejection took away all the pain, so I’m grateful for that. The
XERAPHINATilly, an omega wolf in her late twenties, joined our pack a few years ago, having come from a neighboring pack. Her story of why she left her old pack remains a mystery to everyone except my father, the Alpha and my mother, the Luna of our pack. Despite being here for ten years, she arrived without a mate and has yet to find one.Returning her hug, I step back to retrieve my plate and put it back in the oven to keep it warm. I then turn to face Tilly. “I’m not sure what has happened to you, but my condolences for whatever it was. Little did I know that him carrying me outside in the middle of my first shift into a wolf was so risky. If I had known, I wouldn’t have let him do it. Now I feel guilty. The whole time he was taking me away, I was mentally hoping I could shift and use my claws to castrate him.”“My older brother, who was only a year older than me, died when he picked me up and carried me outside, when I was going through my first transformation into my wolf. We di
XERAPHINAAfter finishing my meal, I made my way down to the basement where my party would take place. It’s going to be an elegant affair, and my dress is stunning. My parents are pulling out all the stops for me, which doesn’t happen very often. The whole excitement of the event used to revolve around me finding my mate, but that’s no longer the case. As a result, families from different packs will be attending. Honestly, I’m not too bothered about that anymore. A party is a party, and I’ve been anticipating this moment for a few years now.If only I had been born a boy, perhaps my father would have shown more interest in me throughout the years. It feels like I have always been a burden to him. My mother has always been the one who looks out for me, even amidst her responsibilities towards our pack. However, my father keeps her occupied with pack affairs, leaving little time for us to bond as mother and daughter.As I make my way down to the basement, I spot my mother taking charge,
XERAPHINA “Charity was the one who pursued Xachariah first. I discovered them together one night, and that’s when Xachariah admitted they had been dating for a few months. Your brother was splurging money on jewelry, clothes, and whatever she desired, all without our knowledge or permission. Charity moved on and started seeing Cassius after we learned the truth.”“Cassius doesn’t know about Xachariah and Charity. As far as I know, no one does. Beyond them two, your dad, me and his mother Catherine. Cassius’s father, Carleson, doesn’t even know. We should have told him and I guarantee you Cassius never would have been able to stay with Charity so long. He never would have let them get married, either. That woman is rotten to the core,” mom says, crossing her arms and rolling her eyes in anger. “She and her family have caused nothing but problems since merging into our pack thirty years ago.”“It sounds to me like she’s been out for money and ranking from the get go. I’m glad you and d
XERAPHINA“Has your wolf Xariah been present since you shifted back into your human form and rejected Cassius, Xeraphina,” mother asks with concern, stretching her features as she clutches my hand lending support.“No. Xariah is there, though. I can feel her, but she hasn’t connected with me since I shifted back into human form.”“It is normal for a wolf to rest for a while after their first transformation, sweetheart. Since you have rejected her mate, she may be dormant for a few days as she recuperates. With Cassius not accepting the rejection, it may not take her long to connect with you again. Just be patient, Xeraphina.”“I’m exhausted, mama. I didn’t sleep well last night and so much has happened today. It would be nice if I could take a nap myself. I know there isn’t time, though.”“No, my dear. There is still much to do before your party. One of the top priorities is performing the blood ritual to welcome your wolf Xariah into our pack. However, your father and I have prepared
XERAPHINA “Thank you so much for this, Xeraphina. I’ve forgotten what it’s like to feel wanted, to have fun of any kind. I’ve been in a rut for ten years now. You have brought back my youth.”“Oh, come on. You’re only twenty-eight. You are not that old Tilly.”“Actually, I’m nearing twenty-seven.”Halting, I glance at her, my face scrunching up in confusion. “What did you just say?”“I’m twenty-six. My birthday is in two months.”“But you’ve been here ten years?”“My brother and I both got our wolves at sixteen instead of eighteen.”“Wolves shifting that early is extremely rare.”“I don’t know what to tell ya. But yes. I had just turned sixteen when I connected with my wolf and shifted for the first time.”“WOW! Well, let’s get down there and find you a mate. You deserve greatness Tilly. Let’s both put the past behind us and have fun tonight.”“I’m really looking forward to it! Let’s go!”Once we’ve gotten halfway down the stairs, I mind link mom to start the song and ‘Uptown Funk’ b
XERAPHINAAs Tilly and I descend the stairs, our hands intertwined, we sing and dance, taking in the awe-inspiring scene before us. While I knew that my mother and father had invited several packs from the surrounding area, I am astounded by the sheer number of people present. The place is bursting at the seams with individuals from wall to wall. Amongst the crowd, I notice some mates have already found each other, but there remains a multitude of proud and towering men who have yet to connect with a mate. They gaze up at Tilly and me, in hopes one of us may be their mate. In this sea of unmated males, we are bound to find our perfect match.Cassius’s eyes meet my own from across the room, penetrating deep into my soul. ‘MINE,’ he says through the mind link. ‘MY MATE.’‘Not yet,’ I replied and wink at him. It’s mean, but I can’t bring myself to give into his charm right now. I need to stay focused on the task at hand.‘You’ve got to admit, our mate looks mighty handsome in that get up
XERAPHINA“Don’t worry, Angel of Mine. We won’t kill each other. We’re just gonna rough each other up some,” Vaegon says, glancing over at Cassius. “Right, asshole?”“You’re still lucky I’m behind bars, fucker,” Cassius warns, ramming himself against the bars and reaching his arms out to grab Vaegon, but he steps out of reach.“Quit y’all’s shit already. You are two grown men. I’m not in the mood for this. Sleep. I need sleep,” I say, strolling away from them and walking towards Xachariah.Getting on tiptoe, I whisper into Xachariah’s ear, so Vaegon and Cassius can’t hear us with their heightened wolves’ senses. “Those two are going to kill us all. We’re all doomed.”Xachariah chuckles and shakes his head. Then does the same, whispering into my ear. “They know if they kill each other, they’ll kill you. If what your wolves are saying is true. Vaegon and Cassius would do nothing to jeopardize your life, Xeraphina,” Zachariah explains, a snarl coming from his lips when Cassius comes into
XERAPHINA Cassius’s gaze met my own, gold swirling in his irises and confusion washes over me. Then I look over at Vaegon to see gold swirling around in his irises as well. What the hell is going on here? Talon left Cassius, but he’s back now, out of nowhere; for what reason? Talon reconnecting with Cassius will make rejecting him so much more difficult now. A fresh wave of tears collect in my eyes and I reach up to swipe them away when they slip down my cheeks.Glancing at Vaegon, my voice hitches as I whisper, “Vaegon, I’m sorry, but I need you to leave, please. Cassius and I need to have a private chat.”“You can’t reject him, Xeraphina,” Vaegon states, as he glares at Cassius, growling and crossing his arms in anger.My brows furrowed, I turn to see Cassius coming closer. “What the hell are you talking about, Vaegon? I thought you of all people would be the happiest about me rejecting Cassius.”“Has Xariah not reached out to you about anything regarding the three of us?” Cassius
XERAPHINAWhen Xariah rushes into the forest, I decide to end our shared consciousness. I don’t care what Xariah does during this time. Thanks to Cassius, I’m a ball of anger, pain, and sadness. Looking back, I see if I had just kept my rejection of Cassius from the start; things would be fine. I gotta spend more quality time with Vaegon. This is something that Cassius promised me I could have, but went against his word, which isn’t fair to Vaegon.Why do I still have such powerful feelings for Cassius, despite all the harm he has caused me, my family, and our pack? Well, I guess it’s because Cassius is family, and I have always loved him. However, I can’t continue this way any longer. The recent events, like him starting a war with Charity and losing his wolf Talon, have pushed me to my breaking point. I need to let go of Cassius and move on, just as he needs to let go of me. Our relationship has become toxic.As of now, I need to focus on Vaegon. It’s not fair to him. I’ve been in a
CASSIUSMy senses come rushing back to me when Vaegon informs me about Xeraphina’s panic attack. In addition, he reveals Alpha Joseph’s plan for both Xeraphina and me to reject each other, ultimately leading to my expulsion from the pack. These words hit me with a force that I can no longer ignore. This manipulative asshole is on the verge of accomplishing everything he has desired since entering our pack, and it pisses me off.“I bet you’re fucking happy, aren’t you, asshole? You’ll have her all to yourself now.”It’s not until he calls me a fucking spoiled teenage brat that I can’t hold off my anger anymore. In my drunken catatonic state I lunge at the fucker, forgetting about the fucking jails bars between us. My head collides with the steel bars, almost knocking me out, but I shake my head, ridding the stars shooting out in my vision away.“You better be glad I’m behind bars or I would fucking kill you, fucker! She is my fucking fated mate! Mine! I’ve known her my whole fucking li
CASSIUSXachariah drives my truck as we head back to the pack house. He vents his anger, yelling and cursing about what happened with Xeraphina this morning and the incident involving Charity. With each outburst, he slams his fist down on the steering wheel, distorting it to where it seems unusable. When he realizes he can’t hit the steering wheel anymore because of its fragile state, he bangs on the dashboard. I’m relieved Xachariah isn’t directing his anger towards me this time, or else he would kill me. However, I know once we reach the pack house, I will face the consequences.At some point, he stops the truck, and we step out. I receive several blows to the ribs, some causing fractures, and a strike to the head, all while he continues to curse at me. After venting his anger, he forces me to drive the remainder of the journey.As Xachariah settles into the passenger seat, a sense of foreboding washes over me as I see his glazed eyes. I know he is reaching out to Alpha Joseph to di
VAEGON It took us forever going down several twisted tunnels and stairs before we made it to a massive door that leads to the dungeons. We must be several levels underground, at least eight from the amount of stairs we went down.Xachariah unlocks the massive door and pushes it open. Then he ushers me inside and growls when Cassius’s scent wafts towards us.“We don’t use the dungeons that often. Cassius is the only one down here right now. So it shouldn’t be hard for you to find him. He’s towards the end, is all I know,” Xachariah says, pointing in the direction I needed to go.“I’ll lead you to our bunker afterwards, so you’ll know where it is for future reference. Instead of taking a left like we did to get here, you take a right. Good luck, man. I’ll be right here if you need anything.”Glancing around, I see several jail cells akin to that of the human jail cells. Where there are cots and toilets, and that’s about it. The only difference is that they welded the cells into giganti
VAEGONSkinning and chopping, the moose brought Xeraphina and me together, and we could bond a bit. We were just kidding around and having a blast. Xeraphina was good once she stopped thinking about Cassius.During our conversation, we discussed various topics, including my background and alpha training. I shared my passion for vintage cars and my talent for fixing engines with her. In fact, my dad and I have a hobby of buying old cars, fixing them up, and then deciding whether to keep them or sell them. Interestingly, Xeraphina suggested I might get along well with her youngest brother, who is a year older than me. It turns out that he shares the same enthusiasm for classic cars as I do.We discussed various topics like the lodge, her love for horses and cattle roping, and our family backgrounds. Cassius’s name never came up. Xeraphina mentioned a friend who passed away a few months ago. She got lost in thought and Cassius crossed her mind. I changed the subject to learning horse rid
VAEGON“It’s Charity who has caused all this. You shouldn’t be so angry with Cassius. He’s just having a hard time, coming to terms with everything,” Xeraphina says. The fact she's putting the blame onto someone else other than Cassius makes my blood boil. I can't take this anymore.That’s when I pause my actions, clutching a massive chunk of intestines in my hands as I glance over at Xeraphina. “Don’t sit there and tell me I shouldn’t be angry, Xeraphina. He’s a man, holding a high rank within the pack as a beta male. It is not fair to blame his ex-wife for everything he has done. He made the choice to marry her and allowed all this chaos to unfold within the pack, all while knowing you were his true mate. He needs to face the consequences of his actions.”Xeraphina winces, affected by my harsh words. She glances out the window closest to her, squirming in her chair. “I apologize, Vaegon. You are right. I’m overwhelmed by everything that has transpired in the past few days. It’s beco
VAEGONVane sprinted through the forest with lightning speed, him unleashing all the built-up anger and desire to kill Cassius. However, the faster he ran, the more enraged we both became. Our shared consciousness echoed with shouts, urging us to turn back and track down that bastard.Who knows how long we’ve been sprinting through the dense forest, the towering trees casting dancing shadows on the ground? Vane halts at the glistening stream, its gentle babbling filling the air, calming our hatred. He bends down to drink from the stream, the water refreshing and cool against his parched tongue. Feeling a desperate need to cool off the searing heat radiating from his enraged body, he plunges into the crystal clear waters. As the coolness envelops him, he realizes the depths are greater than expected, and the sensation of weightlessness calms our turbulent emotions.After thrashing around in the cool water for a while, he trudges out of the stream, refreshed and wanting to hunt.‘We sho