Chapter One

I didn't even wanna think about yesterday, the only thing I wanted was to get the hell out of this house. 

​​​​​​"What are you doing?" My little sister.... half sister to be specific, asked walking in without even knocking.

She and I share the same father and a different mother. 

See my parents broke up when I was still a kid, around 7, my father got married a year after the break up and a had a baby... What I loved about them is that they still kept their differences aside and stayed in contact for my sake. He never missed any birthdays or school meetings.. let me just say he was still my dad..the difference was that he didn't sleep home.. he slept at his house with his other family.

The baby(Sindy) grew up, we knew her since she was born and she knew me as her big sister, which I actually was.

We were and still are very close. Her mother is okay, she treats me like her own daughter so I honestly thanked God for blessing me with two amazing women in my life when I was growing up. 

After high school I got an opportunity to study in New York Academy for Art.. and I have been there for the past two years. 

 

This year started amazing, That was until I got a call from my father telling me I gotta rush home, my mom was in a car accident.

You know the unexpected.. how death can just hit you when you least expect it. I was on a flight back home to spend time with my mom, she was getting better, I was told, recovering from the accident.. but then suddenly... just suddenly, she died after I landed.

Imagine that... coming home to spend holidays with your mother and then they die when you are not even over an hour away.. they just die.

 

I didn't know whether to still believe in God or not.

The past week has been shit. And yesterday was the funeral. I haven't said anything to anyone since I was told she passed away.. 

"Thandy... wait... what are you doing? Why are you packing your staff..." my little sister asked again, taking me away from my thoughts, I shrugged and for the first time said, "I have to get out of here..."

 

She stood there a bit shocked.. I mean I didn't blame the kid, I wasn't speaking with anyone, I haven't opened my mouth for anyone in a week and then when she asked me the most simplest question I responded..

"But... where are you going? Christmas is in a around the corner." 

"Sindy... I can't stay here, I'll lose my mind. I have to go.. I don't know where to, maybe back to New York..." I said zipping my bag and she kept quiet.

I turned to her and she was crying, I sighed, "Sindy.... please don't do this..."

"Don't leave me please...." She pleaded.

"Sindy you don't understand... She is gone, what's the use of me being here... Why should I still be here if she's not?"

"She was my mother too you know... it hurts too, please don't leave please..." 

Without even thinking I blurted out, "Don't you dare say that. Your mother is in there breathing..she's not dead. So don't you dare act like you know how much it hurts....." 

I regretted those words as soon as I spit them out. Coz when I turned back around she looked like she had seen a ghost... She immediately turned on her heals and ran out before I could even stop her. 

Like I said, my family was pretty close.. so she knew my mom as much as I knew hers and they loved us so much. 

I sighed defeated and thought to myself, 'nice work Thandy... nice work in pushing everyone away...'

....

I got out of my bedroom pulling my bags and immediately my eyes locked with Maa Sophia, Sindy's mom.

​​​​​"Thandy....." 

I shook my head and said nothing.

She held my hand and all the eyes of the people who were finishing up with the dishes were on us. I hated this, I hated how they pitied me. 

 

"Honey we have to talk... please don't do this.." 

 

I shook my head again, trying by all means not to let the tears that were threatening to escape get their wish. If I cry she'll honestly stop me, I needed to be strong. 

She pulled me to a nearby corner, "Thandy at least wait for your father to come back. please..."

I pulled her into a very tight hug and then whispered, "I love you Maa... but I can't be here any longer.. just allow me to go please..."

She pulled away, "but Thandy this isn't how..."

I cut her off by shaking my head and leaving her there.

I walked straight to my car and threw the bags at the back then got in immediately and drove away. 

In honesty, I had no idea where I was heading but I hoped it was better than where I was coming from, because if I had stayed in that house one more day, I was going to lose my mind.

 I drove...sometimes faster and sometimes slower. Tears closing my vision now and then but that didn't stop me from driving, somehow, the idea of me getting in a car accident like my mom and dying didn't scare me. Somehow it made me feel at ease.

So I continued driving as I allowed myself to get lost in my thoughts again. That woman raised me, I am who I am and where I am because of her and her upbringing. She was my best friend, my sister, my mother. She was my mother... She was my everything. 

And for her to just die now, only when I was less than an hour away. To just give up and not even wait for me to say goodbye. It broke me, made me so mad at her and God. They should have waited... just a little longer until I was there... just so I could....

My thoughts were suddenly disturbed by a car honk. I immediately tried to hit my breaks but I guess it was too late for that action as I heard a sound of collision and my body moving forward but the seatbelt pulled me back with speed and I hit my head on my seat.

 I closed my eyes, "fuck!"

My head...

My left arm...

They hurt like hell... 

I heard a knock on my window. I opened my eyes slowly and saw a white woman knocking there.

I opened my window and she sighed in relief, "thank God you are okay.. you need to get out of the car, I think there's a leak..." 

I shook my head, I was good here, "no... just  just go..."

"Honey no, I am a doctor, so I am not going to leave you here to die... open the door...."

I tried to move but couldn't, so I shook my head again a bit, "I can't... my hand..."

"Oh God...." She said before trying to open it from outside. She tried a few times and finally managed to.

She undid my seatbelt and pulled me out. She rested my hand on her shoulder and walked me a distance away from the cars. 

Sirens came blaring out loud, giving me the baddest headache ever, two ambulances and a fire department car. 

As I sat there while this woman was busy talking to other paramedics, it downed on me. I almost died. I looked at myself, for bruises but there was nothing. The only thing I was feeling was pain...And fear... of death.. I then thought about my dad, he just lost my mom, he wasn't going to be able to take my death. 

I thought about Sindy and Maa Sophia... God, What the hell was I thinking? Driving under this condition... also... I almost killed an innocent woman because of my stupidity. 

I sooner started crying. These emotions building in. My dad, my little sister, this poor woman I almost killed. 

"Hey... Honey.... it's okay, we are okay.. I am so sorry I wasn't looking..." She said appearing next to me.

I tried to shake my head but pain struck me. 

She held my head softly making me face her, and weirdly I felt electricity struck me from where she was holding me. She furrowed her brows at me probably wondering if I felt that too.. then she spoke, "shhh you have to stop doing that, you hit your head remember...." 

"I'm sorry...." I apologized, "I'm sorry I almost killed you...."

"I'm okay... it's just a little scratch on my eye... it's you I'm worried about...are you okay? Is there anyone I can call...."

​​​​​God.. no.. 

"No I'm fine..." 

She rolled her eyes, "really? So where to from here..."

'I don't know. Anywhere but here..' I said in my head but smiled a bit, "Umhh I... a friend... I'll see a friend..." 

"Are you sure there's nothing I can do? I mean the insurance has everything now, they'll fix your car within a week... And I'll settle everything.. I'm just worried about you.. I can call your friend..." 

"I'm fine really... don't worry..."

She stood there and looked at me. And now I took this time to take her in, she was beautiful ... I mean hot for someone her age, she didn't look that old probably in her late thirties... She had on jeans and a blouse.. 

She cleared her throat.. 

Fuck... She caught me checking her out.. 

"Your eyes...."

Without even thinking I blurted out, "maybe they like what they see....." 

Her eyes shot wide open and her jaw dropped probably in shock.... what the hell was wrong with me? 

"Umhh... flip... my Umhh... concussion... I think I hit my head too hard now I'm blurting staff it doesn't mean...."

She cut me off, "Man! Somehow deep down I was hoping that you meant it..."

We stood there looking at each other a bit weirdly. The atmosphere had changed by now. I was feeling a bit hot.. I mean she was old, but not that old.

She cleared her throat after a few seconds and asked, "Umhh so there's nothing I can do for you... like nothing?" 

I smiled a bit, I swear if I didn't know I'd think she wanted me to want her to do something for me.. or maybe she was just being genuine... I mean we did crash on each other... 

God I seriously needed to tell my hormones to stop getting attracted to strangers and on odd occasions... but then again I was like this, I just couldn't stop.. And I think I needed this to try and forget about everything I've been through....for now.

"I don't know... I'm not sure about what I'm thinking...." I said and she furrowed her brows, "What's that?"

Remembering that we don't even know each other I groaned, "God... I didn't get your name..." 

"Katherine...And you?"

I smiled and then I cleared my throat, "Umhh Katherine.. I'm having a really awful day, which probably resulted into me contributing on this accident..." 

"I'm here. If you need someone to talk to.." 

I shook my head, "Don't test me... I might take you up on that offer..." 

"No I mean it... we all have awful days... but that doesn't matter, the only thing that matters is how we get up from them....taking to someone is the first step.."

I sighed, "you're right..." 

"So can we go for tea... or anything to drink..." 

"Sure... where?

She smiled, "I didn't get your na...."

"Thandy... with a Y.... my name is Thandy...." I said with the biggest smile on my face.

This might not be a bad day after all.