Chapter 17: No president or judgment

Elliot

Being in Luca’s apartment, just the two of us, feels like a sanctuary, a place where I can finally let my guard down. There’s no pressure, no judgment—only the quiet understanding that somehow, he sees me in a way no one else ever has.

As I sit there, sipping my tea, I find myself opening up to him in ways I never thought possible. I tell him about my family, about the weight of their expectations, the pressure to live up to an image that never quite fit. I tell him about the fear that’s kept me silent, the longing to break free, to live a life that feels true.

He listens without interrupting, his gaze steady, his hand warm on my shoulder. And as I talk, I feel a sense of relief, as if a weight is slowly being lifted from my chest.

“I don’t know how to change things,” I admit finally, my voice barely a whisper. “But I want to. I want to find a way to be…me.”

Luca reaches out, taking my hand, and his touch is like an anchor, grounding me in the present moment. “You will, Elliot. One day at a time, you’ll find your way. And I’ll be here, every step of the way.”

His words fill me with a quiet strength, a hope that maybe, just maybe, I can do this—that I don’t have to face this journey alone.

Luca

As the night wears on, we fall into a comfortable silence, our hands still intertwined. There’s a peace in the quiet moments with him, a feeling that doesn’t need words to be understood. I can feel the weight of his fears, his hopes, the quiet strength he’s slowly beginning to discover within himself. And it makes me realize just how much he means to me, how much I want to be the one who stands by him through it all.

Eventually, he leans his head against my shoulder, letting out a soft sigh. “I don’t want this night to end,” he murmurs, his voice laced with a quiet vulnerability.

I wrap an arm around him, holding him close, and in that moment, I feel a sense of certainty, a quiet determination to protect this, to hold onto the connection we’ve found. “It doesn’t have to,” I reply softly, my fingers tracing gentle patterns on his back. “We have all the time in the world, Elliot.”

He smiles, closing his eyes, and as he drifts off to sleep in my arms, I feel a surge of gratitude, a quiet joy that fills every corner of my being. This, I realize, is what I’ve been searching for—the simple, honest connection that makes all the challenges, all the fears, worth facing.

And as I hold him, listening to the steady rhythm of his breathing, I make a silent promise—to stand by him, to be his anchor, to help him find the strength to live a life that feels true. Whatever comes next, I know we’ll face it together, one step at a time.

Elliot

The soft light of dawn filters through the curtains, casting a warm glow over Luca’s apartment. I wake up feeling the gentle rise and fall of his breathing beside me, his arm draped protectively around my shoulders. It’s a rare feeling—waking up with someone like this, feeling like I belong. There’s no pretending here, no layers to peel back. Just me and Luca, together in this quiet, stolen moment.

For a second, I close my eyes, willing time to stop, to freeze us in this little slice of peace where I don’t have to think about the expectations that wait for me outside these walls. Here, I can just be. I can be Elliot, the person I’m still learning how to understand, still figuring out how to share with the world.

But, of course, the peace doesn’t last forever. The weight of what’s outside, what’s waiting to be faced, settles back in. Today, I tell myself, I’ll take a step forward. I’ll do something—anything—to bring Luca and me one step closer to a life where we don’t have to hide.

I turn slightly, careful not to wake him, just watching the soft rise and fall of his chest. In his sleep, he looks so calm, so content. I wonder if he knows just how much strength he gives me, how he’s been my anchor through all the uncertainty.

Just as I’m about to slip out of bed, Luca stirs, his hand tightening around my shoulder. His eyes flutter open, and when he sees me, a lazy smile spreads across his face, that familiar warmth in his gaze that never fails to make my heart skip.

“Morning,” he murmurs, his voice still thick with sleep.

“Good morning,” I reply, my voice barely more than a whisper.

For a moment, we just lie there, tangled in each other’s arms, neither of us wanting to break the silence. But eventually, the weight in my chest reminds me of the day ahead, of the promise I made to myself. It’s time to start opening up, even if it’s just to one person.

“I think…I think I’m ready to talk to someone,” I say, the words tumbling out before I can second-guess them. “Not my parents, not yet. But maybe my sister? She’s always been the one who understands me the best. I think—I think she might be able to handle it.”

Luca’s smile is soft, his hand reaching up to brush a stray lock of hair from my forehead. “That sounds like a good start, Elliot. Baby steps, remember? You don’t have to do this all at once. I’ll be here for every part of it.”

His words settle over me, filling me with a warmth that quiets the nervous flutter in my stomach. I nod, feeling a sense of resolve take root. Today, I’ll take that first step. Today, I’ll let one person in.