Chapter 16: Imagine a future

Elliot

The beach is quiet now, the sun’s last light fading into darkness as stars begin to dot the sky. Beside me, Luca is a steady, comforting presence. I can feel his warmth as he holds my hand, grounding me in a way I’ve never known. And for the first time, I find myself daring to imagine a future where this, where we could be my reality, a life I no longer have to keep in the shadows.

I look over at him, studying his profile as he gazes out at the water, his expression soft, peaceful. There's something so reassuring about Luca’s calm strength, his unspoken promise that he’ll be here no matter what. It makes me want to be braver, to start breaking down the walls I’ve spent so long building.

“Thank you,” I murmur, my voice barely more than a whisper. “For being patient with me.”

He glances over, a gentle smile spreading across his face. “Elliot, you don’t have to thank me. I want to be here. I’m in this with you.”

I swallow, feeling a lump form in my throat. No one has ever said anything like that to me before.. at least, not in a way that feels this real. Growing up, I was always the one who had to carry everyone else’s expectations, never truly allowed to just be. But here, with Luca, I’m starting to feel a freedom I didn’t think was possible.

We sit in silence for a while, listening to the gentle sound of the waves and the occasional distant laugh of a couple walking down the shore. There’s a peace in the quiet moments with him, a feeling that doesn’t need words to be understood. But part of me feels the need to let him know just how much this means to me, even if I don’t quite have the words.

“It scares me,” I admit finally, staring out at the horizon. “The thought of being honest with everyone… with my family, with myself. I’ve spent so long hiding, trying to fit into this mold they created for me. And now… I don’t know how to break free of it.”

He squeezes my hand, his gaze soft but unwavering. “You don’t have to figure it all out right now, Elliot. It’s okay to take it one day at a time. No one has the right to dictate who you are or who you love. You deserve to be happy, to live your truth, when you’re ready.”

The simplicity of his words, the quiet strength in his voice, it feels like a lifeline, something steady to hold onto as I navigate these unfamiliar waters. I turn to him, feeling a surge of gratitude and something deeper, something I can’t quite put into words.

“I don’t know what I did to deserve you,” I say softly, unable to keep the emotion out of my voice.

He smiles, leaning closer until our foreheads touch. “Maybe it’s not about deserving. Maybe…we’re just meant to find each other.”

For a moment, I forget about the fear, the uncertainty. There’s only us, in this quiet, starlit moment, and I let myself believe, just for a little while, that this could be the beginning of something real, something lasting.

Luca

As we leave the beach and start walking back toward my place, I can feel the weight of Elliot’s words lingering in the air between us. There’s a strength in him, even if he doesn’t see it yet—a strength that I can only hope will help him break free of the expectations that have held him down for so long. I know he’s scared, and I know that the journey ahead won’t be easy. But I also know that he’s worth every challenge, every moment of uncertainty.

We reach my apartment, and as I unlock the door, I feel a strange mix of excitement and nervousness. It’s not the first time he’s been here, but there’s something different about tonight, something that feels like it’s carrying us toward a new chapter, a deeper level of trust and vulnerability.

He steps inside, looking around as if seeing the place with new eyes, and I can’t help but smile. I love how easily he fits into my space, how natural it feels to have him here, sharing these quiet, everyday moments with me.

“Make yourself at home,” I say, gesturing for him to take a seat. “I’ll get us some tea.”

He nods, sitting down on the couch, and I head into the kitchen, feeling a sense of contentment settle over me. As I put the kettle on, I think about everything he’s shared with me, about the fears he’s finally starting to voice. I know it’s a big step for him, and it makes me want to do everything I can to support him, to show him that he doesn’t have to face this alone.

When I return to the living room with two mugs of tea, he’s leaning back on the couch, looking lost in thought. I sit down beside him, handing him a mug, and he gives me a grateful smile.

“Thanks,” he murmurs, taking a sip. “I didn’t realize how much I needed this, just…being with you, without all the expectations, without having to pretend.”

I reach out, placing a hand on his shoulder, and he leans into my touch, his gaze softening. “You don’t have to pretend here, Elliot. You can be yourself with me.”

He closes his eyes, taking a deep breath, as if letting my words sink in. And in that moment, I feel a quiet sense of purpose, a determination to be the support he needs, to stand by him as he faces the challenges ahead.