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CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
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Afraid to Love Again CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
My eyes flutter open after what seems like days and there is sunlight pouring in through the blinds. I see my gorgeous man lying peacefully next to me, one hand stretched across my stomach, the other arm hugging his pillow. I snuggle closer into Gavin’s chest, enjoying the warmth of his skin. His face is so handsome while he sleeps, and I can’t stop myself from gliding my hands down his happy trail to rest upon his hips. I kiss his jaw softly, rub my lips over the stubble there, and then step out of bed, intent on finding something to make breakfast for us. Once I’m in his spacious kitchen, I pull out a pan from the cabinet and some eggs, milk, grated cheese, and sliced ham from the fridge.I also grab bacon and sausage links to make a grand breakfast for Gavin before he wakes up. I turn on the radio, keeping the volume low and singing to myself along with Carrie Underwood. “Cowboy Casanova” has me dancing around his kitchen in my bare feet. Once the omelets are made, I start on t
Afraid to Love Again CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
His eyes heat and he pulls me in with his hands around my neck. I can feel his hot breath against my parted lips."Oh.” Gavin presses his mouth to mine urgently and parts my lips with his tongue as one of his hands tangles in my hair. He nips softly at my bottom lip and I moan, gripping his shoulders while my tongue licks salaciously into his mouth. God, I’ll never get enough. I pout when he pulls away and leans his forehead against mine as we both struggle to catch our breath. "Dinner tonight?" he asks, that smile crossing his lips in suggestion. I lean back, now remembering that I made plans to have dinner and drinks with Kel. "Actually, I promised Kel I’d have dinner and drinks with her tonight. Do you want to join us? Luke will be there, too."He smiles widely and kisses my temple."Sure, baby.""Gavin?" Callie calls from the living room, interrupting. I laugh softly and pull away from Gavin’s mouth, stepping down from the counter."You want to meet for lunch?" Gavin’s mouth co
Afraid to Love Again CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
"You look gorgeous, by the way." Gavin’s blue-gray eyes are all I see and a shy smile comes to my mouth. He takes my hand and kisses my wrist, pulling back while he looks down at it for a long moment. A pit of fear forms low in my stomach."I wanted to ask you about these, baby. Don’t think I didn’t notice last night." I gasp in response. Hearing his voice so domineering is both exciting and worrying. My eyes drop to the four long cuts along my wrist from when my grief from Jeremy and the rejection and blame of my mother and myself got to be too much. The pain helped at the time, but I’ve never told anyone that. They’re faded now, but they’ll always be there to remind me of my weakness at the worst time in my life. Gavin’s hand gently grasps my chin and lifts my gaze to his clear blue eyes. "Sophia?" I see the concern and maybe anger in his eyes as he gazes down at me, his hand holding my wrist while his other cups my cheek. "Can we talk after? Do you need to get back to work rig
Afraid to Love Again CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
"See you tonight?" Gavin whispers as he leans against my door frame, his left hand laced with mine. I nod, an uneasy feeling settling in my gut."Yeah, sure."His eyes look into mine in a strange, unreadable expression for a long moment before he moves off the frame and gives my forehead a kiss, his mouth gentle along my skin."Call me if you need me, okay?" I nod, knowing I’m far from okay. I watch him walk out the door and get into the backseat of a town car.He must have called a driver to come get him while I was in the bedroom. Hastily, I grab my phone and wallet along with the car keys, needing to get some air before the feelings inside of me smother me. ***"I miss you, sweetie," Farah whispers when she opens the door to her apartment on Eastern Avenue. She hugs me tightly and leans back, her eyebrows going up when she sees my expression. Ever since Gavin left for his meetings, I’ve had this pit in my stomach. I’ve come to rely on him so much in the last few weeks it terrifie
Afraid to Love Again CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN
"You can’t do that to me, Sophia. I couldn’t call or text you, you weren’t at your place. Do you have any idea what time it is?"I gape up at him, at a loss for words."It’s almost six, Sophia. I was worried." His voice is filled with anguish and it tears at my heart knowing I caused him to worry. As quickly as I can, I go to him, cup his cheeks in my hands and gaze upinto the wide pools of emotion that are his eyes. My breath catches, seeing concern and possibly love in his eyes."I’m sorry I worried you. Why were you so worried, though? It’s not like we’ve been seeing each other for a long time." That last part just slips out. Crap.His eyes harden at my last statement and abruptly he pulls away from me."I’ve been having one of my security guards detail Bryce Williams and he was seen in the Downtown South End. I thought, Christ, Sophia. I was afraid he got to you!"Bryce? Security detail? Oh, God. It feels like the bottom of my world drops away in those long seconds when I hear his
Afraid to Love Again CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT
My lips graze Gavin’s chest as I feel my man stir, his mouth tipping into a smile."Morning, baby."I smile, raising my head and climbing over him, my knees on either side of his body. I feel him hardening under me and I smile, feeling my desire for him between my legs also."I love waking up next to you."He grins, pulling me down to kiss me softly at first, but when I tangle my hands in his silky hair and he moans at the back of his throat, it turns much more passionate. I ravage his mouth with my own, tasting and reveling in the heavenly mint taste and smell of him. His hands glide down my back and squeeze my ass, enticing a loud moan out of me. I vaguely wonder why we decided to dress before bed last night. Gavin wanted me to be warm though I really wish we didn’t have so many boundaries of fabric between us. I want to feel him."God, I want you. Now, here, right here, babe."I slide my hands down his chest and push down his pajama bottoms as I settle my body on top ofhis.He pull
Afraid to Love Again CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE
"I think I’m just in shock, Gavin. I really am excited about it, though."I can tell that he senses something is off with me, but I don’t know what to tell him."Sophia, what’s wrong?" he asks, his voice filled with concern.I exhale, not wanting to do this over the phone."We’ll talk about it tonight, I promise. I have to go, Gavin."I hear a loud screech in the background and then his rough breath across the phone."Okay."***When I hear the three soft knocks coming from the door of my apartment, I glance up from the oven, shutting it with my knee and peeling off the apron I’m wearing. My mind is still spinning, but I realized that Gavin was right. We both have pasts. I just have to trust in what we have. My insecurities got the best of me today and that’s not fair, since Gavin never gave up on me. Even when I told him about my past, my baggage, he still wanted to be with me. So why should Jasmine change anything?“You’re early," I say as I open the door to him. He has on gray slack
Afraid to Love Again CHAPTER THIRTY
Gavin’s lips at my ear stop me and he grabs my hand in his."That doesn’t matter. Sophia, I don’t want her. I want you, beautiful."Emotion stings my eyes at his honest words and when he presses his mouth to mine, I immediately slip my tongue into his mouth. Passion for him jolts my body, my skin, and my blood to life, and when he slants his mouth over mine and grazes his teeth over my lip and bites down gently, I moan softly. I grasp his silky hair in both hands and explore his hot mouth, feeling my desire for him low in my core."I. Want. You..." Gavin’s whisper fuels my need as does his mouth as he begins kissing my jaw between each word. I moan, grabbing the first button of his collared shirt, anticipating what’s to come. Then the oven dings."Food’s ready." I feel his low laugh against the skin of my neck, his stubble grazing my skin, making me want him even more. I groan in frustration, pulling back and giving him a wink as I push off the couch to grab the chicken Parmesan and ga
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Afraid to Love Again EPILOGUE - FINAL
Gavin rests his head beside mine on the hospital bed and I run my fingers through his hair. It shouldn't be long now and I treasure these last moments of quiet before we meet our baby boy for the first time.When I feel another contraction coming on, I grasp his hand in mine and squeeze it through the pain. He wipes my tears away and presses a kiss to my forehead."What can I do, Sophia? I hate seeing you in pain."I lean my forehead against his and shake my head."Just having you here is enough, Gavin. Thank you."He grazes his knuckles down my cheek and lifts one of my hands to his lips to kiss my knuckles."For what baby?""For loving me, having your love is everything I've ever wanted, Gavin."He kisses me then, long and sweet and slow, pouring his love into our connection until I'm breathless."Always, baby. I’ll never stop"It seems like hours until Dr. Hines comes in and sits at the end of my bed. She smiles and another doctor brings in the epidural. Why I couldn’t have it thre
Afraid to Love Again EPILOGUE- 3
I twist my fork over and over near the scrambled eggs, pancakes and grits that Gavin made me for breakfast this morning and even though I know I should be eating, especially after yesterday’s news, I don’t have an appetite.“You’re not eating, Beautiful,” Gavin says as he pushes a curl of my hair behind my ear. I nod, not really meeting his eyes and it’s not the first time this morning I’ve done this.The loud clattering of silverware makes my eyes shoot to Gavin’s angry ones and I don’t get a word out of my mouth before he wraps his arm around my back and one under my knees and picks me up in a nanosecond.“W-what are you doing, Gavin?”He doesn’t say anything as he strides into our bedroom, kicks the door shut and sits down against the headboard where he arranges me so I’m facing him. I cross my legs in front of me and fiddle with my hands as I look down at them. The look in his eyes says enough. He wants to know what’s going on, but what am I supposed to say?Hey, baby guess what?
Afraid to Love Again EPILOGUE- 2
The on call doctor isn’t Dr. Hines when we arrive at the hospital, but I’m still ushered in to a room and after a few tests of my vitals, blood pressure, and a blood test, the nurse leaves me to change. I pull my eyes from Gavin as he sits in the armchair across from the bed, scanning his eyes over me as if I have a physical injury he can see.“What?”He grins slowly and comes to stand in front of me as I lift the blue sundress I’d been wearing over my head and set it beside me. Holding up the flimsy hospital gown, he helps me put it on and secures his strong arms around my waist instead of tying it behind my back.“You feeling okay, now?”I nod and curl my arms around him, pressing my palm to the base of his neck and pulling his head down to meet my waiting lips. My mouth melds to his, his tongue escapes into mine and I try to show him how much I appreciate him in my kiss. A faint knock on the door makes a low groan emit from Gavin and he rests his forehead on mine.“I’ll wait outs
Afraid to Love Again EPILOGUE- 1
One year laterGavinI slide the glass door open and lean my back against the doorway as I watch my beautiful wife work in the garden she insisted on planting herself. Between her dance school for girls and my striving business at Thomas, there really is no reason for her to have to spend countless hours planting and tending to a garden in the harsh sunlight of the morning. But soon after her mother came to see our new house, Sophia had this idea of a large, complex garden that she could tend to as the years went on. It was something to do now that most of her summer classes were done at the school and the weather was getting cool enough to spend time outside. Her determination amazed me and there was no way I was crushing her dream of this beautiful, colorful garden I see now. I watch as her long black hair sways into the wind behind her as she presses soil into the ground beneath her. Her skin is flushed from her time in the sun and she wears a sky blue sundress with a pair of
Afraid to Love Again CHAPTER EIGHTY-SIX
Kel pulls me away from the arms of my man moments before I see Elizabeth wrap her arms around him and speak softly to him. I know they deserve some time and I know I have to thank my sister and truly, everyone for helping make this wonderful day happen.“Are you sure you want to do this, Honey? You can always change your mind. I know how much you guys have been through and we all just wanted to help make this day as special as possible. I hope you’re not mad at me for keeping the secret from you.”My sister’s big brown eyes fill with worry and I shake my head hastily.“No! Please, Kel this is so wonderful for you to do for us. But how? Buying this land, getting an officiant and everyone to be here, today. How did you all do it?”I watch as she worries her lower lip between her teeth before she grins knowingly and shrugs her shoulders.“Honestly, Mom set a lot of it up. I helped schedule everyone’s flights back home and ordered the dresses for us all. I picked one out that I think you’
Afraid to Love Again CHAPTER EIGHTY-FIVE
As I unpack the two small suitcases Gavin brought back here for me, I realize this place has become home to me and I hadn’t realized that until I woke up without the warmth of Gavin’s embrace as we slept. My phone chimes with a text message and I place the last items in the bathroom cabinet before walking back through the bedroom to retrieve it.Come find me when you’re done unpacking. I want to take you somewhere.I’m smiling as I make my way to his office that’s connected to the hallway that connects the bedroom, half bath and a small room Gavin uses for his business away from the business. If he can, I know he’d rather work from home. I peek my head in the door to see him looking down at his cell phone. I knock twice and his eyes sweep to mine.“That was fast,” he says, coming around the desk and wrapping me up in his arms. A contented sigh passes my lips at the feeling.“I didn’t have much to unpack, actually. Most of my stuff was left here.” “Hmm,” Gavin hums under his breath a
Afraid to Love Again CHAPTER EIGHTY-FOUR
SophiaI slide my eyes open the very moment I feel strong arms tighten around my back, warm breath against my cheek and a contented sigh coming from my lips. I am momentarily confused, wondering where the hell I am. But then I catch the scent of mint and musky man that can only be mistaken for one man. The memories, sweet, sweet memories of last night come flooding back and I can’t stop myself from turning into Gavin’s strong embrace and burying my face into my favorite spot, just below his jaw. I feel his heartbeat under my lips as I kiss his neck and that makes this morning feel much less like a dream. God, how many times had I dreamed of waking up in our bed, seeing Gavin lying across the pillows with one arm slung over his head? I’d noticed it was how he would sleep most nights. Damn, even that turned me on about him. I feel his body stiffen a bit next to me and then he wraps one hand around my nape and pulls me fractionally closer.“You’re here.”I smile, though his eyes are s
Afraid to Love Again CHAPTER EIGHTY-THREE
Gavin“Is it too late to ask you to spend forever loving me, Gavin? Will you make breakfast for me every day for the rest of our lives? Will you love me again?”Her goddamn beautiful emerald green eyes are like two stones of the finest riches. They cloud with love and fear and hope and it fills my heart to hear her say those words.I never stopped loving you, Sophia Georgia Jones. I never will.I drop to my knees in front of her and clasp her waist tightly in my hands as I look up in the brightest green eyes I’ve ever seen. This is the moment I’ve waited so long for. Why is she here? Are we truly healed? Christ, is it even possible to heal from this? I don’t know the answer to any of that, but this, right here, her, she is here. That’s all that matters to me. Her and the love shining through her eyes.“You never have to ask me to love you, Beautiful. You are my everything and I don’t want to eat breakfast without you again. I don’t want to wake up before dawn without you. I don’t wa
Afraid to Love Again CHAPTER EIGHTY-TWO
I smile at her note and tuck it under my arm before carefully sitting down in the front seat. The white flow dress I wore for Lena’s last scene is made of a mixture of loose satin material for the skirt and thin lace covering my torso. It’s gorgeous and if I tear it I’m sure the theater will have my neck. It must cost more than my paycheck is worth. Once I’m sure it won’t tear from how I’m sitting, I put the car into drive.I am ready to take back my life. I’m ready to heal. As that thought sticks in my mind, I turn around towards the east end of the city, knowing there is one thing I have to do.I pull up to Marley’s Cove and pull the key from the ignition. I don’t know how I found myself here, but here I am. I remember when Gavin brought me, it was technically our first date because the day we met, I wasn’t sure if I even wanted him to come to the party my sister sneakily invited him to. But he showed up and afterwards he brought me here. I remember this place being the first pla
