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CHAPTER THIRTEEN
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Afraid to Love Again CHAPTER FOURTEEN
As I slip my ballet flats on and fasten the ribbons of my leotard, my cell rings. I skip over, almos falling as I’m reaching for it. I see Gavin’s name on the screen and smile. It’s been about a week since the night he held me, comforted me after that horrible dream. We’ve gone out to lunch almost every day, growing closer and I’ve found so many things I like about him. His laugh when I try to impersonate my family members or friends as I’m telling a story. His passion for the work his father has done in the technology world, the fierceness in which he speaks when we talk about his sister, Callie. I’ve learned he’s very protective of the only daughter of James A. Thomas. I’ve learned he will only drink when in the company of people he trusts, for some people will stop at nothing to get close to him and his family. When he told me that, I was intimidated. The lavish life style he has is something that is not new to me and though it is a lot to take in, Gavin is much more than a bil
Afraid to Love Again CHAPTER FIFTEEN
Even after the movie ends, we sit and cuddle and stare at each other, not saying anything. A hand rests at the small of my back when he takes a big breath and I feel him stiffen a little as he holds me. "What happened earlier?" I murmur, trying to read his expression. "I don’t want to scare you off with what I’m about to say." I gaze up at him, a little uneasy about what he could possibly say to scare me away. "Look, if you’re changing your mind after last night, Gavin, I’d completely…" He interrupts with an index finger to my parted lips. His eyes blaze and I can’t take mine away from his. "I want us to be exclusive, baby." My heart stops and then immediately speeds back to a rapid beat, soaring at the sound of those words. He hasn’t changed his mind. He really wants to be with me, and I can see it in his eyes. I gasp, rendered speechless, and his hand comes up to my cheek, his eyes clear of the darkness I saw before. "Are you sure?" I whisper, my palm resting over his heart
Afraid to Love Again CHAPTER SIXTEEN
He kisses me back, his hand anchoring my head to his mouth, gripping my hip with the other. I feel the tightening in my core, wanting to kiss every possible surface of his skin, but knowing I can’t yet.I’m breathless, forcing myself to pull away, my mouth tingling in aftershock from the kiss. "How did you know?" I ask as he leads me up the walkway, his hand in mine. "What?" I lean down and pick up a lilac, cradling it in my palm. "That this is my favorite flower. Did Kel tell you?" He takes a step back, his eyes first filling with confusion and then with sheer excitement. "Really, beautiful?" I nod, my face stretching in happiness. His eyes lock on to mine and he pulls me into him, wrapping an arm around my waist. The sweetest of kisses is pressed to my temple. "Ever since yesterday, I’ve noticed you always smell like lilacs, Sophia. It’s intoxicating and sweet, making it impossible for me to stay away from you." Oh, my. How can a guy like this exist and actually like me? My
Afraid to Love Again CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
I know you say that good things don’t last for you and I can’t promise you that this will. But I want to be with you, baby. I want to kiss you and touch you and cherish you. If this is moving too fast, just tell me and we can slow down. I'll never push you, but I need you to be honest with me." His voice is deep with emotion. I suck in a breath, not wanting to slow this down but needing to be completely honest now. "I’m sorry, Gavin. I do want to be with you and yes, this is fast but...it’s what I want, more than anything. I don’t want to slow this down." I’m opening my heart to him, for better or for worse. I trust him. I see his exhalation of breath before he lifts his hands to my cheeks, holding my gaze to his. He searches my eyes, sees right through every defense I have around myself, and cuts through them to the very heart of me. This is the moment that I give myself to him. I lose the words I’m about to say when he pulls my face to his and lays those lips on mine. I breathe
Afraid to Love Again CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
"Can we watch a movie?" I ask, hoping he doesn’t notice my uneasiness. He nods and brings me over to the couch. He sits behind me, so his arms wrap around my stomach and I can feel his warmth. Without a word, the remote is placed in my hands. "You don’t want to pick?" My eyes go to his, narrowing in suspicion. "All yours, beautiful." His warm voice encourages me. As I flick through the movie listings On Demand, I see Marley and Me and click on it. "Will you hate me if we watch a chick flick?" I tease, enjoying the feel of his arms. Gavin chuckles softly. "Not at all." I start the movie and rest my chin against his chest, curling into his side. “Hmm, I like this,” I whisper, looking up at Gavin through my eyelashes. A slow, sexy smile spreads across his handsome face and he wraps his arms around my waist and nuzzles his nose against my neck. Soon the movie begins and we both turn, watching the screen. By the middle of the movie, my eyes start to get heavy so I rest my head on
Afraid to Love Again CHAPTER NINETEEN
Gavin’s eyes blaze with concern as a tear falls from my eye. I don’t want his pity. I don’t want him to look at me and see how truly broken I am. "It’s okay. You can tell me." His hands wrap around my shoulders, rubbing circles with his thumbs. His touch is like a balm and I don’t hesitate to lean against the press of his hands. "He came raging into the bedroom. I knew what was coming. I tried, I promise, God, I tried to get away. I tried to calm him down, but he punched me and I fell backward. B-Bryce…he…” I have to stop. The emotion is drowning me as I fall into Gavin’s warm chest. I’m a mess. Tears gather in my eyes and fall down my face. I can’t do this, I can’t… I’m not strong enough for this. “My beautiful, strong girl. I’ve got you. I have you.” Gavin wraps me up into his arms, tightly holding me to his chest as he presses his mouth to my forehead. He waits for me to calm myself, and then I raise my face to his. His blue and gray eyes are all I see, all I need to. I bite m
Afraid to Love Again CHAPTER TWENTY
“What happened?” I hear Gavin’s voice brush against the shell of my ear, soft like velvet but traced with concern as he speaks.I turn to face him and his eyes, darkened with worry but still a brilliant blue gray, lock onto mine. “I woke up in the hospital. The night they found me, I was in bad shape. My dad found me thatway. He attacked Bryce, but he never got in trouble for that, thank God." Gavin nods, his face calmer now, though I see the simmering anger in his eyes. He wants to protect me and it makes me feel safe knowing he feels that way."Is he...""Bryce- he’s out of jail now, but I have a restraining order against him. If he steps within five hundred feet of me, he’ll go back to prison." I look up to see a stark, determined look in those eyes I’ve come to so well. I can see what he is thinking and I hastily shake my head."I need a last name, Sophia." So he can track down the bastard that hurt me and do what?"No." I will not let him do that. It won’t change anything.I
Afraid to Love Again CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
He exhales and slowly an enigmatic beautiful smile spreads over his face. He grabs my hand and I follow him to my dimly lit bedroom. The heavenly smells make me pause on the threshold of my bedroom. My breath catches when I see the bouquet of flowers on my dresser, filled with lilacs and daisies. My eyes flicker over to my queen-size bed, covered in red rose petals. There are lit candles on every possible surface and it takes my breath away. "Gavin?" He wraps his arms around me and sweeps my hair away from the back of my neck. He begins tantalizingly kissing and sucking on my skin. I moan, my skin breaking out in delicious goose bumps. "How did you..." He chuckles and begins massaging my shoulders, making me moan again from the feel of his hands on me. "I wanted tonight to be special for us, beautiful. And I had some help." I giggle, now knowing why Kel mysteriously disappeared to Dad’s place tonight. "Kel?" I murmur as he nestles his face into the back of my neck. "Mm hm." I
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Afraid to Love Again EPILOGUE - FINAL
Gavin rests his head beside mine on the hospital bed and I run my fingers through his hair. It shouldn't be long now and I treasure these last moments of quiet before we meet our baby boy for the first time.When I feel another contraction coming on, I grasp his hand in mine and squeeze it through the pain. He wipes my tears away and presses a kiss to my forehead."What can I do, Sophia? I hate seeing you in pain."I lean my forehead against his and shake my head."Just having you here is enough, Gavin. Thank you."He grazes his knuckles down my cheek and lifts one of my hands to his lips to kiss my knuckles."For what baby?""For loving me, having your love is everything I've ever wanted, Gavin."He kisses me then, long and sweet and slow, pouring his love into our connection until I'm breathless."Always, baby. I’ll never stop"It seems like hours until Dr. Hines comes in and sits at the end of my bed. She smiles and another doctor brings in the epidural. Why I couldn’t have it thre
Afraid to Love Again EPILOGUE- 3
I twist my fork over and over near the scrambled eggs, pancakes and grits that Gavin made me for breakfast this morning and even though I know I should be eating, especially after yesterday’s news, I don’t have an appetite.“You’re not eating, Beautiful,” Gavin says as he pushes a curl of my hair behind my ear. I nod, not really meeting his eyes and it’s not the first time this morning I’ve done this.The loud clattering of silverware makes my eyes shoot to Gavin’s angry ones and I don’t get a word out of my mouth before he wraps his arm around my back and one under my knees and picks me up in a nanosecond.“W-what are you doing, Gavin?”He doesn’t say anything as he strides into our bedroom, kicks the door shut and sits down against the headboard where he arranges me so I’m facing him. I cross my legs in front of me and fiddle with my hands as I look down at them. The look in his eyes says enough. He wants to know what’s going on, but what am I supposed to say?Hey, baby guess what?
Afraid to Love Again EPILOGUE- 2
The on call doctor isn’t Dr. Hines when we arrive at the hospital, but I’m still ushered in to a room and after a few tests of my vitals, blood pressure, and a blood test, the nurse leaves me to change. I pull my eyes from Gavin as he sits in the armchair across from the bed, scanning his eyes over me as if I have a physical injury he can see.“What?”He grins slowly and comes to stand in front of me as I lift the blue sundress I’d been wearing over my head and set it beside me. Holding up the flimsy hospital gown, he helps me put it on and secures his strong arms around my waist instead of tying it behind my back.“You feeling okay, now?”I nod and curl my arms around him, pressing my palm to the base of his neck and pulling his head down to meet my waiting lips. My mouth melds to his, his tongue escapes into mine and I try to show him how much I appreciate him in my kiss. A faint knock on the door makes a low groan emit from Gavin and he rests his forehead on mine.“I’ll wait outs
Afraid to Love Again EPILOGUE- 1
One year laterGavinI slide the glass door open and lean my back against the doorway as I watch my beautiful wife work in the garden she insisted on planting herself. Between her dance school for girls and my striving business at Thomas, there really is no reason for her to have to spend countless hours planting and tending to a garden in the harsh sunlight of the morning. But soon after her mother came to see our new house, Sophia had this idea of a large, complex garden that she could tend to as the years went on. It was something to do now that most of her summer classes were done at the school and the weather was getting cool enough to spend time outside. Her determination amazed me and there was no way I was crushing her dream of this beautiful, colorful garden I see now. I watch as her long black hair sways into the wind behind her as she presses soil into the ground beneath her. Her skin is flushed from her time in the sun and she wears a sky blue sundress with a pair of
Afraid to Love Again CHAPTER EIGHTY-SIX
Kel pulls me away from the arms of my man moments before I see Elizabeth wrap her arms around him and speak softly to him. I know they deserve some time and I know I have to thank my sister and truly, everyone for helping make this wonderful day happen.“Are you sure you want to do this, Honey? You can always change your mind. I know how much you guys have been through and we all just wanted to help make this day as special as possible. I hope you’re not mad at me for keeping the secret from you.”My sister’s big brown eyes fill with worry and I shake my head hastily.“No! Please, Kel this is so wonderful for you to do for us. But how? Buying this land, getting an officiant and everyone to be here, today. How did you all do it?”I watch as she worries her lower lip between her teeth before she grins knowingly and shrugs her shoulders.“Honestly, Mom set a lot of it up. I helped schedule everyone’s flights back home and ordered the dresses for us all. I picked one out that I think you’
Afraid to Love Again CHAPTER EIGHTY-FIVE
As I unpack the two small suitcases Gavin brought back here for me, I realize this place has become home to me and I hadn’t realized that until I woke up without the warmth of Gavin’s embrace as we slept. My phone chimes with a text message and I place the last items in the bathroom cabinet before walking back through the bedroom to retrieve it.Come find me when you’re done unpacking. I want to take you somewhere.I’m smiling as I make my way to his office that’s connected to the hallway that connects the bedroom, half bath and a small room Gavin uses for his business away from the business. If he can, I know he’d rather work from home. I peek my head in the door to see him looking down at his cell phone. I knock twice and his eyes sweep to mine.“That was fast,” he says, coming around the desk and wrapping me up in his arms. A contented sigh passes my lips at the feeling.“I didn’t have much to unpack, actually. Most of my stuff was left here.” “Hmm,” Gavin hums under his breath a
Afraid to Love Again CHAPTER EIGHTY-FOUR
SophiaI slide my eyes open the very moment I feel strong arms tighten around my back, warm breath against my cheek and a contented sigh coming from my lips. I am momentarily confused, wondering where the hell I am. But then I catch the scent of mint and musky man that can only be mistaken for one man. The memories, sweet, sweet memories of last night come flooding back and I can’t stop myself from turning into Gavin’s strong embrace and burying my face into my favorite spot, just below his jaw. I feel his heartbeat under my lips as I kiss his neck and that makes this morning feel much less like a dream. God, how many times had I dreamed of waking up in our bed, seeing Gavin lying across the pillows with one arm slung over his head? I’d noticed it was how he would sleep most nights. Damn, even that turned me on about him. I feel his body stiffen a bit next to me and then he wraps one hand around my nape and pulls me fractionally closer.“You’re here.”I smile, though his eyes are s
Afraid to Love Again CHAPTER EIGHTY-THREE
Gavin“Is it too late to ask you to spend forever loving me, Gavin? Will you make breakfast for me every day for the rest of our lives? Will you love me again?”Her goddamn beautiful emerald green eyes are like two stones of the finest riches. They cloud with love and fear and hope and it fills my heart to hear her say those words.I never stopped loving you, Sophia Georgia Jones. I never will.I drop to my knees in front of her and clasp her waist tightly in my hands as I look up in the brightest green eyes I’ve ever seen. This is the moment I’ve waited so long for. Why is she here? Are we truly healed? Christ, is it even possible to heal from this? I don’t know the answer to any of that, but this, right here, her, she is here. That’s all that matters to me. Her and the love shining through her eyes.“You never have to ask me to love you, Beautiful. You are my everything and I don’t want to eat breakfast without you again. I don’t want to wake up before dawn without you. I don’t wa
Afraid to Love Again CHAPTER EIGHTY-TWO
I smile at her note and tuck it under my arm before carefully sitting down in the front seat. The white flow dress I wore for Lena’s last scene is made of a mixture of loose satin material for the skirt and thin lace covering my torso. It’s gorgeous and if I tear it I’m sure the theater will have my neck. It must cost more than my paycheck is worth. Once I’m sure it won’t tear from how I’m sitting, I put the car into drive.I am ready to take back my life. I’m ready to heal. As that thought sticks in my mind, I turn around towards the east end of the city, knowing there is one thing I have to do.I pull up to Marley’s Cove and pull the key from the ignition. I don’t know how I found myself here, but here I am. I remember when Gavin brought me, it was technically our first date because the day we met, I wasn’t sure if I even wanted him to come to the party my sister sneakily invited him to. But he showed up and afterwards he brought me here. I remember this place being the first pla
