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CHAPTER SIXTY-ONE
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2024-10-29 19:42:56Related chapters
Afraid to Love Again CHAPTER SIXTY-TWO
His deep, concerned eyes are all I focus on as he tells me to breathe. In and out, one… two… three. By the third, I feel the panic ebb away from my mind and I close my eyes.“Would it make you feel better if we go somewhere tonight, baby? I don’t want you to ever be reminded of that man when you’re with me. Just tell me what you want to do and I’ll make it happen. Your safety and peace of mind is all I care about.”His voice is filled with concern and his own fear. I can’t stand to think that our time together will be haunted with the pain and loss I’ve endured at the hands of that man.Somewhere deep inside, one word comes to my mind. No. For so long I was afraid and unable to move on, to move forward in fear that I couldn’t overcome the abuse I’d suffered. But I am stronger. I am strong. Through dancing and my sister, my friends and the love Gavin has freely given me, I’ve built a life for myself and I won’t allow Bryce to take that away from me.“No. Gavin, take me inside. I know
Afraid to Love Again CHAPTER SIXTY-THREE
Somehow, I wake easily from an untroubled sleep that feels as if I’ve slept a full twelve hours since the last time I woke last night. Out of habit and need, I reach out for Gavin’s warmth, but instead I hear his voice out on the terrace overlooking downtown Chicago. It has been one of my favorite parts of Gavin’s home. I never would have dreamed that I would feel so comforted here, but I do. My pleasant thoughts are interrupted when I hear the aggravation in my man’s voice.“I know the contract is huge, Carly. I know. But this is of priority. Cancel all of my meetings today and that is final.”He pauses, bracing both his hands on the banister in front of him. He flexes his neck side to side and I can tell he’s been on this call for longer than he’d like.“Thank you. I’m sorry to snap at you, I just need this done. OK, I will see you tomorrow.”As he lowers the phone from his ear, I wrap the sheets around my torso and shuffle my feet towards the open door of the terrace. Gavin lets
Afraid to Love Again CHAPTER SIXTY-FOUR
“Farah, you should have seen the girls there! All skinny blondes and no curves- made me even more nervous than I already was.”“You’ve got the talent. You just have to believe in yourself.”Well if that doesn’t sound familiar…“I know. I have to go, I’m meeting Kel in a bit.”She’s quiet for a moment and I’m not sure why.“OK, see you later.”I click off and open the glass doors to a small bakery and pastry shop called Hidden Sweets. There are several wooden tables set in the front when I walk in and I don’t see Kel or Lucas right away. The white marble counter top draws me deeper into the bakery and then I see Kel, her blonde hair wound up in a messy bun and Lucas pressing his nose in her neck as they stand with another girl behind the counter.“Hey.” I walk over and feel a surge of warmth seeing such love and affection between these two.I’m so happy for their happiness.“Hey! This is Jenna, she owns the bakery!” Kel practically bursts in excitement.I laugh and outreach my hand to
Afraid to Love Again CHAPTER SIXTY-FIVE
I lean against the door jam and listen while Gavin talks on the phone with his sister. Not that I’m eavesdropping, but the sweet affection in his voice melts my heart.“You sure about him, Cal? First he stands you up and now he’s moving? Is this boy even worth it?” He pauses to listen and in that moment I see the concern in his eyes that I hadn’t heard in his voice. He’s truly worried about Callie and this boy she’s seeing. I can’t say I blame him, but if he’s worth it to her, that’s what counts.“Yeah, I know he’s had a rough life. I promise, Cal.”His eyes flick up to mine then and the blue grays immediately fill with softness.I can tell his sister says something else and it makes him smile.“You too.”“You look beautiful.” Gavin murmurs when he reaches me, grabbing my waist to pull me into hisbody.“Thank you, I got it,” I whisper into his chest as he holds me. I feel his smile against my hair and before I know what he’s doing, I’m being spun around in a circle.“I knew you woul
Afraid to Love Again CHAPTER SIXTY-SIX
“So?” Jenna asks as I just about devour the sampling of red velvet cheesecake she gave me. Kel sits next to me nibbling away at the lemon topped cupcake she had her sights on the very moment we set foot in here. I take another bite and fail at hiding my groan of satisfaction.“This is a definite yes. What about you Kel?” My sister bites her bottom lip and nods between bites of her second cupcake.“Um, I’m not sure…”I throw Jenna a wink and finish off the cheesecake frosting on my favorite treat yet.“Awesome! Two down, three to go.”She pushes a tray of assorted cupcakes in front of us and I see Vanilla- Oreo, Apple- Crust, and Boston Creme topped cakes that are begging for me to devour them. God, give me strength. Any more sweets in my body will not be a good thing. We’ve only been here an hour and my belly is already full.I throw my torso down on the love seat we are sitting on in the closed bakery and hide my face in one hand. Giggling, I shake my head when Kel nudges my hand w
Afraid to Love Again CHAPTER SIXTY-SEVEN
He hangs up and I take a deep breath, not being able to look away from the seemingly new arrangement sitting three feet away from me. They couldn't have left them more than an hour or so ago.While I wait, I try to wrangle all my inner strength by keeping all my thoughts on Gavin. His eyes, which are always so expressive. His mouth, oh, he's made me feel so good with his mouth, his lips, and his tongue. Then his hands, I've never been touched the way Gavin touches me. Whether it's the way he cups my cheeks, holds my hands in his or makes such tender love to me. With just one touch, I'm breathless. He's conveyed his desire, his need and more than anything, his love for me through his touch. I thought I'd loved a man before, but now, as I curl my fingers across my legs and close my eyes, I know that these feelings are completely new and oh so amazing with Gavin.After a few more minutes, I suck in a breath and get up off the banister and lean against it. I gasp in shock when I see a p
Afraid to Love Again CHAPTER SIXTY-EIGHT
He almost broke me before and as I lean against Gavin's shoulder and let him lead me into the penthouse, I pray that I'm strong enough to handle the idea of seeing that man again."Baby, are you hungry? I can make us some lunch and you can go lay down for a while."His hands settle on the sides of my face as he tilts my eyes up to his with one finger under my chin. I lean into his warmth, needing the support in my frazzled state. My legs feel like jelly and the fear is still dully shaking within my body."Will you lay down with me? We can eat in a few hours." My voice is shaky and I know he can hear it. His eyes are soft and loving as he takes my hand, lifts it to his lips and wraps his arm around my waist."Of course”Once Gavin lays me down on the bed, my head is rested on two pillows and the comforter beneath me, he wraps both his arms around me and pulls me into his warm body. His warmth is welcome and calming. I close my eyes and focus on breathing in and out as my body succumb
Afraid to Love Again CHAPTER SIXTY-NINE
I lean forward, seeking and finding his lips with my own and immediately, slip my tongue along his. The minty flavor of his mouth and the scent of him drive me to him. I kiss him deeply then catch his lower lip between my teeth and tug gently. He groans against my mouth, tasting me eagerly. I feel the pads of his thumbs open my center to him just before the exquisite feeling of Gavin pushing full inside me. I moan in relief at the full feeling, my head falling back in complete awe as pleasure rocks through me."Oh, God!”Before I know it, he flips us and hovers over me, pulling out of me and pushing into me deeper than ever. Gavin moves, really moves creating a rhythm as I clutch onto his biceps and meet him in time, rocking into his warmth and strength to center me as my mouth opens to his. When he sucks my bottom lip into his mouth and tugs teasingly, hitting that perfect spot inside me, I scream out his name in need. I'm climbing, waves of such intense pleasure coursing throug
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Afraid to Love Again EPILOGUE - FINAL
Gavin rests his head beside mine on the hospital bed and I run my fingers through his hair. It shouldn't be long now and I treasure these last moments of quiet before we meet our baby boy for the first time.When I feel another contraction coming on, I grasp his hand in mine and squeeze it through the pain. He wipes my tears away and presses a kiss to my forehead."What can I do, Sophia? I hate seeing you in pain."I lean my forehead against his and shake my head."Just having you here is enough, Gavin. Thank you."He grazes his knuckles down my cheek and lifts one of my hands to his lips to kiss my knuckles."For what baby?""For loving me, having your love is everything I've ever wanted, Gavin."He kisses me then, long and sweet and slow, pouring his love into our connection until I'm breathless."Always, baby. I’ll never stop"It seems like hours until Dr. Hines comes in and sits at the end of my bed. She smiles and another doctor brings in the epidural. Why I couldn’t have it thre
Afraid to Love Again EPILOGUE- 3
I twist my fork over and over near the scrambled eggs, pancakes and grits that Gavin made me for breakfast this morning and even though I know I should be eating, especially after yesterday’s news, I don’t have an appetite.“You’re not eating, Beautiful,” Gavin says as he pushes a curl of my hair behind my ear. I nod, not really meeting his eyes and it’s not the first time this morning I’ve done this.The loud clattering of silverware makes my eyes shoot to Gavin’s angry ones and I don’t get a word out of my mouth before he wraps his arm around my back and one under my knees and picks me up in a nanosecond.“W-what are you doing, Gavin?”He doesn’t say anything as he strides into our bedroom, kicks the door shut and sits down against the headboard where he arranges me so I’m facing him. I cross my legs in front of me and fiddle with my hands as I look down at them. The look in his eyes says enough. He wants to know what’s going on, but what am I supposed to say?Hey, baby guess what?
Afraid to Love Again EPILOGUE- 2
The on call doctor isn’t Dr. Hines when we arrive at the hospital, but I’m still ushered in to a room and after a few tests of my vitals, blood pressure, and a blood test, the nurse leaves me to change. I pull my eyes from Gavin as he sits in the armchair across from the bed, scanning his eyes over me as if I have a physical injury he can see.“What?”He grins slowly and comes to stand in front of me as I lift the blue sundress I’d been wearing over my head and set it beside me. Holding up the flimsy hospital gown, he helps me put it on and secures his strong arms around my waist instead of tying it behind my back.“You feeling okay, now?”I nod and curl my arms around him, pressing my palm to the base of his neck and pulling his head down to meet my waiting lips. My mouth melds to his, his tongue escapes into mine and I try to show him how much I appreciate him in my kiss. A faint knock on the door makes a low groan emit from Gavin and he rests his forehead on mine.“I’ll wait outs
Afraid to Love Again EPILOGUE- 1
One year laterGavinI slide the glass door open and lean my back against the doorway as I watch my beautiful wife work in the garden she insisted on planting herself. Between her dance school for girls and my striving business at Thomas, there really is no reason for her to have to spend countless hours planting and tending to a garden in the harsh sunlight of the morning. But soon after her mother came to see our new house, Sophia had this idea of a large, complex garden that she could tend to as the years went on. It was something to do now that most of her summer classes were done at the school and the weather was getting cool enough to spend time outside. Her determination amazed me and there was no way I was crushing her dream of this beautiful, colorful garden I see now. I watch as her long black hair sways into the wind behind her as she presses soil into the ground beneath her. Her skin is flushed from her time in the sun and she wears a sky blue sundress with a pair of
Afraid to Love Again CHAPTER EIGHTY-SIX
Kel pulls me away from the arms of my man moments before I see Elizabeth wrap her arms around him and speak softly to him. I know they deserve some time and I know I have to thank my sister and truly, everyone for helping make this wonderful day happen.“Are you sure you want to do this, Honey? You can always change your mind. I know how much you guys have been through and we all just wanted to help make this day as special as possible. I hope you’re not mad at me for keeping the secret from you.”My sister’s big brown eyes fill with worry and I shake my head hastily.“No! Please, Kel this is so wonderful for you to do for us. But how? Buying this land, getting an officiant and everyone to be here, today. How did you all do it?”I watch as she worries her lower lip between her teeth before she grins knowingly and shrugs her shoulders.“Honestly, Mom set a lot of it up. I helped schedule everyone’s flights back home and ordered the dresses for us all. I picked one out that I think you’
Afraid to Love Again CHAPTER EIGHTY-FIVE
As I unpack the two small suitcases Gavin brought back here for me, I realize this place has become home to me and I hadn’t realized that until I woke up without the warmth of Gavin’s embrace as we slept. My phone chimes with a text message and I place the last items in the bathroom cabinet before walking back through the bedroom to retrieve it.Come find me when you’re done unpacking. I want to take you somewhere.I’m smiling as I make my way to his office that’s connected to the hallway that connects the bedroom, half bath and a small room Gavin uses for his business away from the business. If he can, I know he’d rather work from home. I peek my head in the door to see him looking down at his cell phone. I knock twice and his eyes sweep to mine.“That was fast,” he says, coming around the desk and wrapping me up in his arms. A contented sigh passes my lips at the feeling.“I didn’t have much to unpack, actually. Most of my stuff was left here.” “Hmm,” Gavin hums under his breath a
Afraid to Love Again CHAPTER EIGHTY-FOUR
SophiaI slide my eyes open the very moment I feel strong arms tighten around my back, warm breath against my cheek and a contented sigh coming from my lips. I am momentarily confused, wondering where the hell I am. But then I catch the scent of mint and musky man that can only be mistaken for one man. The memories, sweet, sweet memories of last night come flooding back and I can’t stop myself from turning into Gavin’s strong embrace and burying my face into my favorite spot, just below his jaw. I feel his heartbeat under my lips as I kiss his neck and that makes this morning feel much less like a dream. God, how many times had I dreamed of waking up in our bed, seeing Gavin lying across the pillows with one arm slung over his head? I’d noticed it was how he would sleep most nights. Damn, even that turned me on about him. I feel his body stiffen a bit next to me and then he wraps one hand around my nape and pulls me fractionally closer.“You’re here.”I smile, though his eyes are s
Afraid to Love Again CHAPTER EIGHTY-THREE
Gavin“Is it too late to ask you to spend forever loving me, Gavin? Will you make breakfast for me every day for the rest of our lives? Will you love me again?”Her goddamn beautiful emerald green eyes are like two stones of the finest riches. They cloud with love and fear and hope and it fills my heart to hear her say those words.I never stopped loving you, Sophia Georgia Jones. I never will.I drop to my knees in front of her and clasp her waist tightly in my hands as I look up in the brightest green eyes I’ve ever seen. This is the moment I’ve waited so long for. Why is she here? Are we truly healed? Christ, is it even possible to heal from this? I don’t know the answer to any of that, but this, right here, her, she is here. That’s all that matters to me. Her and the love shining through her eyes.“You never have to ask me to love you, Beautiful. You are my everything and I don’t want to eat breakfast without you again. I don’t want to wake up before dawn without you. I don’t wa
Afraid to Love Again CHAPTER EIGHTY-TWO
I smile at her note and tuck it under my arm before carefully sitting down in the front seat. The white flow dress I wore for Lena’s last scene is made of a mixture of loose satin material for the skirt and thin lace covering my torso. It’s gorgeous and if I tear it I’m sure the theater will have my neck. It must cost more than my paycheck is worth. Once I’m sure it won’t tear from how I’m sitting, I put the car into drive.I am ready to take back my life. I’m ready to heal. As that thought sticks in my mind, I turn around towards the east end of the city, knowing there is one thing I have to do.I pull up to Marley’s Cove and pull the key from the ignition. I don’t know how I found myself here, but here I am. I remember when Gavin brought me, it was technically our first date because the day we met, I wasn’t sure if I even wanted him to come to the party my sister sneakily invited him to. But he showed up and afterwards he brought me here. I remember this place being the first pla
