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Affair with the Rockstar After that
After that, we were joined by the producer and the sound engineer. Avi was from New York and Bob was local. They all knew each other from doing the last record together, so there were a lot of hugs with the hello’s, not to mention numerous comments about how good Derek looked after rehab. They were both polite to me, though I couldn’t shake the feeling that they knew all about the romantic drama and were walking on eggshells.Then the band went into the recording studio. Like their casual rehearsals on the road, Ryan was a stickler for recording everything, just in case a nugget of brilliance emerged.I stayed in the control room with Avi, Miles, and Bob, and tried to keep out of everyone’s way.“Well, we could do ‘When It Was Through.’ Or ‘Gold and Diamonds,’” Ryan suggested, referencing two of the songs I had heard them practice on the road. His words piped in through the speakers in the booth, making him sound like the voice of God.Avi clicked a button on the console and spoke. “W
Affair with the Rockstar As I made my
As I made my mental lists, I drank half a bottle of wine, then made myself stop. I didn’t want to be a sodden mess when Ryan got back.But he didn’t come back.9, 10, 11PM… no sign of him.I tried calling and texting him, but there was no answer. Which I sort of expected.I thought about phoning somebody else to check up on him, then nixed that idea. Who was I going to call? I didn’t know Killian’s number, so… Riley? Ha. Miles? Noooo.Derek?Don’t make me laugh.I ate some leftovers from the fridge and drank the rest of the bottle of wine.Tired, emotionally weary, and drunk, I stumbled off to bed… just to lie down and rest, fully clothed. Just until Ryan got home.Within minutes I was out like a light.I awoke to the sound of slow, sad music… the tinkling of piano keys. A beautiful, haunting melody. Like Für Elise or the Moonlight Sonata, but more halting, as though the player couldn’t remember the notes.I lifted my head. I was still tipsy, but no hangover, so it couldn’t have b
Affair with the Rockstar Everybody was assembled
Everybody was assembled in the studio when Ryan spoke up.“I have something to say.”I stood in the control room with Miles, Avi, and the sound engineer. Everybody looked up with a kind of bored expression.Everybody but me and Derek.Derek was watchful and wary, like a man expecting a fight, but not about to throw the first punch.I was biting my nails down to the quick.Ryan stood up and looked right at Derek.“I’m in love with Kaitlyn. She’s in love with me. You had your chance; you blew it. Now leave her alone.”Avi glanced over at me. Miles scowled like he was going to murder me. In the booth, Killian looked between his two bandmates in shock, and even stopped playing his guitar.Riley went white as a ghost.My heart was slamming triple-time in my chest.Derek was the only one who seemed utterly calm. He narrowed his eyes, and his mouth curled into a bitter smile. “Tough words coming from the guy who stabbed me in the back.”“I didn’t stab you in the back; you cheated on her. You
Affair with the Rockstar First it was little
First it was little run-ins at the studio. Me getting a drink and him cornering me.“You should be with me.”“Stop.”“You know he can’t make you feel the way I do.”“What, cheated on and miserable?”“Never again, Kaitlyn, I swear it.”“You do a lot of swearing, I’ll give you that.”“I know how to make you say things that’d make your little boy scout blush. Do you talk dirty to him in bed, like you used to do to me?”“Get away from me,” I seethed, trying to push past him – because, unfortunately, it was turning me on to remember the things he used to say to me, the things he used to do to me.“Kiss me,” he whispered in my ear. “You know you want to.”I had to dump water, soda, even coffee on him to get him to leave me alone.But he just came back for more.His presence… his intensity… his sexual mojo, whatever you want to call it… his smell, the pheromones he was putting out, matched with a hint of his cologne – unhh – It was beginning to wear me down.So I stopped going out of the co
Affair with the Rockstar The weekend before
The weekend before the Austin City Limits concert, Ryan threw a small party on Friday night. Derek was conspicuously disinvited.“Do not show up,” Ryan warned him at the recording studio.“I’m not.”“No singing on the front lawn, none of that crap.”“Consider that my solo project.”“I’m serious. I’m hiring security to make sure you don’t gate-crash.”“Well, now, that sounds like a challenge.”“Derek – ”“Fine, I know when I’m not wanted,” Derek said mildly.“That’s the trouble, I don’t think you do.”“The trouble is, you don’t know that I am the one she wants.”Then he looked at me and winked.Ryan gritted his teeth and walked out with me on his arm.That night, lots of local musicians showed up, as well as some famous ones from out of town. It wasn’t the star power that accumulated after one of the arena shows, but that wasn’t what Ryan was going for. It was a casual, laidback evening – friends listening to music and sharing a few drinks.Except everybody kept asking where Derek was
Affair with the Rockstar it was a long night
It was a long night.The paramedics showed up and hauled her off to the hospital in the back of the ambulance. They assured us that she would be okay, but that aspiration into the lungs might have occurred, and she could have some serious complications – like pneumonia.Ryan, Killian, and I rushed to the hospital but weren’t allowed to see her. Somebody had notified Miles, and he was there within minutes – the first time I had ever seen him without a tie, though he still wore a crisp white dress shirt and a suit.“What the fuck happened?” he raged.“Riley threw up while she was asleep and almost died,” Ryan said. “Kaitlyn saved her life. She was the one who found her and gave her CPR.”“Oh.” For the first time in his life, Miles was actually cordial to me. “Thank you.”I just nodded. I was too exhausted to do anything else.Derek walked in next, still wearing his jeans and t-shirt from the recording studio earlier that day. He looked deathly worried.It was interesting – he didn’t go
Affair with the Rockstar Austin City limited
Austin City Limits was only a week away.Bigger almost didn’t go. In fact, they wouldn’t have gone except for Riley.“You fuckin’ pussies can bail, but I’m not, and fuck ALL y’all if you try to say it’s cuz of me,” she said angrily as she sat up in her hospital bed.It was a band meeting with Derek, Killian, and Ryan in her hospital room on Sunday night. Miles was there, too, as was I. Megan had wanted to stay, but Riley forced her to catch a redeye back to New York so she could return to her med school classes Monday morning.“Riley, your health is the most important thing here,” Ryan said.“I’m fine.”“You’re not fine. You almost died.”“Well I’m not dead NOW, am I? So we’re playin’ the fuckin’ concert!”“Riley, you’re in no condition to play,” Derek said.“Fuck you – I’ve done gigs where I was beat up, bleeding, almost dead and I still played.”“Not with Bigger, you didn’t,” Miles growled.“No, not with fuckin’ Bigger, cause you’re all a bunch of pussies!”“As manager – ”“As manag
Affair with the Rockstar i hastily wiped
I hastily wiped my tears off my cheek, then the taste of Derek off my lips.“Just a minute – ”There was the sound of a beep, and the click of the lock.The door opened before I could get it, and there stood Ryan.He looked furious.I cringed, imagining him about to say all the horrible things about myself I knew I deserved to hear – “Did he hurt you?” he asked, striding into the room and enveloping me in his arms.Oh my God…I was feeling so guilty about my desires, and all he could think of was if I was alright.“No,” I sobbed.“Tell me the truth – did he hurt you?” He held me out at arm’s length, his face a mask of fury. “I’ll kill him – so help me God, I’ll fucking – ”Our eyes met, and suddenly he knew.All the anger drained away and was replaced by hurt. But when he spoke, his voice was dead. “…you kissed him.”I exhaled shakily. “He kissed me.”His arms went slack and he let go of me. Just stood there, looking at me. Then he walked past me like he was in a trance, sat on the e
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Affair with the Rockstar we took little breaks
Affair with the Rockstar Derek kissed me
Affair with the Rockstar Ryan was the first to move
Affair with the Rockstar A couple of times
Affair with the Rockstar They stood there
Affair with the Rockstar Jessie's girl finally ended
Affair with the Rockstar After the interaction
Affair with the Rockstar i hastily wiped
Affair with the Rockstar Austin City limited
