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FOUR YEARS AGO
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2023-06-16 16:15:33Related chapters
Affair with the Rockstar I sat across from him
I sat across from him as he cut the foil off the wine bottle with one of those combination knives/corkscrews.“How’d you get all this stuff up here?” I asked.“Ryan. He snuck the picnic basket up here when he disappeared.”“Ahhhh.” I looked around at the plates and silverware and glasses. It was pretty damn nice for a picnic basket. I probably would have gone with plastic plates and cutlery. “Did you buy this?”“No, it’s Ryan’s parents’. He kind of borrowed it for me.”“Kind of?”“Ahh, they never use it.”Derek pulled out the cork, then poured us each a glass. He clinked his against mine.“To you… and to your brilliant future as a world-famous journalist.”“And to your brilliant future as a world-famous rock star.”“I’ll drink to that,” he said, and we both took a sip.I had only tasted wine at a wedding before, and I was expecting not to like it – but I did. It was a lot sweeter and mellower than the sour stuff at my cousin’s reception, and a hundred times better than the crappy beer
Last Updated : 2023-06-16Affair with the Rockstar i stood up gracelessly
I stood up gracelessly, plopped down on the bed, and removed my shoes and socks.He moved the dishes over to Shanna’s side and put up the picnic basket.“…wow… a guy who makes me dinner, and cleans up…” I giggled as I stretched out on top of the covers.“Damn straight.”He started blowing out the tea lights.“…no… leave them… they’re pretty…”“Okay,” he agreed, but moved the ones on the floor over to the window ledge. Then he kicked off his clunky boots, pulled off his socks, and laid down next to me on the bed.The weight of his body next to mine sent another jolt through my lower extremities.“Turn over on your side,” he commanded me gently. “I want to spoon you.”“…oh…” I said, catching my breath. “…okay… but no forking…”He frowned. “Forking?”“…joke… sounds like…” and I silently mouthed ‘fucking.’He burst out laughing. “Okay – no ‘forking.’”“…okay…”I turned over onto my side and he snuggled up against me.Sweet baby Jesus.As soon as I felt him against me, I was wide awake, an
Last Updated : 2023-06-16Affair with the Rockstar he didn't need to be
He didn’t need to be told twice.He rolled off the bed and stood up – “Slowly,” I whispered. “I want to watch.”He stopped and stared down at me in the candlelight, then nodded like he was dazed.You know how hot guys in the movies take off their shirts? They reach up behind their backs and grab the fabric and pull it over their heads, and the whole shirt lifts up from their abs, and it looks really sexy?Derek did that, and it was even hotter.He did it slowly, just like I told him to.He reached behind him and began to pull his shirt over his head.I watched in silent awe as the fabric slid up over his stomach, revealing his abs. They were amazing. Like a real-life Calvin Klein underwear ad, but better. Deep shadows ran between the muscles, outlining him like some sort of Rembrandt or Caravaggio painting. (Thank you, Art History 101.)I couldn’t help myself. I had to reach out and touch them.My fingers glided over his flawless skin, and I could feel the ridges of his muscles benea
Last Updated : 2023-06-16Affair with the Rockstar i grabbed a couple
I grabbed a couple of Kleenexes and wiped off my hand and then his stomach and cock. I loved the weight of it lolling there in my hand, not fully erect, but still thick and long and beautiful.Then he pulled me down next to him on the bed and we kissed again. He pressed his body against mine, muscular and hot and slightly damp from where he had come. We lay there like that for four or five minutes, just kissing and making out and touching each other in the afterglow.But when I felt him growing hard again, pressing against my stomach… when I felt his hand travel down to my thighs and touch me on my lips… I put my hand against his and broke away.I shook my head ‘no.’He stared at me. “What’s wrong?”The buzz from the wine was gone. The flood of hormones had temporarily abated. And I wasn’t turned on enough – not yet, at least – to ignore what I was doing. Not a second time.“I can’t,” I whispered.“What’s wrong?” he repeated, more insistent this time.It was like I hadn’t been think
Last Updated : 2023-06-16Affair with the Rockstar I lay there for a
I lay there for a long time in Derek’s arms as he spooned me like before. I noticed this time that he quite conspicuously kept his pelvis from touching me.I was glad. Sort of.…no, not really.But I knew I couldn’t feel that thick, hard pressure against my body and hold back.True to his word, he just held me. No touching, no caressing, no kissing, no nothing.And I didn’t make a move on him… even though I knew what incredible delights lay beneath his clothes. Even though I knew I could just make the slightest motion, and then he would take it from there… and I could temporarily forget everything else, swept away by passion and ecstasy.But my misery was enough to keep me in check.Something Shanna had said kept echoing in my mind. I’m sure if she had known the effect it would have on me, she never would have said it… but it was as effective as a chastity belt.At least I don’t tell some guy I love him and then fuck around behind his back.So I never made a move.It was the hardest
Last Updated : 2023-06-16Affair with the Rockstar i know what you're
I know what you’re saying.Why did you leave him? Why didn’t you break up with Kevin?!WHY?!I’ve asked myself that every day for the last four years… but I always come back to the same answer.On one hand was the only boyfriend I’d ever had. I’d lost my virginity to him. He was the only guy I’d ever gone all the way with… and until those last few days in Athens, he was the only one I’d ever kissed. He’d liked me back when I wasn’t pretty. We had three and a half years of history, and an entire future planned. We were going to go to college together, then we were going to go to New York City, and then to exotic countries, and write and get married and see the world.On the other hand was the hottest guy I’d ever met. But I knew he was a womanizer. No matter what he said to me, no matter how much I wanted to believe him, there was this lingering fear that I was just another conquest. He had slept with dozens and dozens of women – used them up and then tossed them aside. Or at least ne
Last Updated : 2023-06-16Affair with the Rockstar it was the summer before
It was the summer before my senior year. I was driving around Savannah doing some errands before heading back to school, listening to the local top 40 radio station, when a Bruno Mars song finished and the cheesy-ass announcer came on.“You’re gonna be hearing big things out of this next band, a rock group out of Athens, Georgia named Bigger. Bigger what, you might ask?” he asked with a suggestive smirk in his voice. “You be the judge… but I think they’ll be bigger stars than anybody out there, if their first single is any indication – it’s Bigger, with ‘Girl, Please Stay’!”The guitar intro was really good – a beautiful melody expertly played.For some reason, even though the songs didn’t sound anything alike, I thought of “Under The Bridge” and a day, long ago, spent in a basement singing along to Katie Perry and Beatles songs.And then, like a ghost appearing in the seat next to me, Derek’s voice – sexy, deep, seductive – filled the car.I met a girl who turned my head She took me
Last Updated : 2023-06-16Affair with the Rockstar i was remembering all these
I was remembering all these things on the flight to LAX.I was replaying them all in my head as I got my bag from the luggage claim and hailed a taxi outside.And I was trembling with fear… and maybe something else… when the cabbie dropped me off outside of the hotel.It was a new place. Fancy shmancy. Called the Dubai.It looked like a fitting place for rock stars. Lamborghinis and Porsches out front… red velvet carpet… valets in white suits… a cavernous lobby of black and white marble trimmed with gold, trying hard to look like a fever dream out of 1001 Arabian Nights.I wheeled my crappy little rolling suitcase over to the front desk. A bellhop tried to take it from me, but I politely declined. Then I talked to the supermodel concierge about the cheapest room they had, which I’d only gotten because Rolling Stone was footing the bill and had to maintain appearances.I looked around the lobby, filled with men in Armani suits and women who had more silicone in them than body fat.Than
Last Updated : 2023-06-16
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Affair with the Rockstar we took little breaks
We took little breaks, drank water and wine, talked and whispered, touched and caressed… but we most definitely did it again.Three more times, by my count.It was after four AM when we finally dropped off into a deep slumber, our bodies intertwined.I woke up sometime after ten AM. I looked around me in wonder, hardly believing what had happened – or how lucky I was. Two gorgeous men on either side of me, the golden sunlight kissing their naked bodies, their cocks looking delectable as they slumbered.Neither of the boys was awake yet, so I carefully extracted myself, went into the bathroom and freshened up. Then I came back and reinserted myself back into the mix.Both guys opened their eyes sleepily as I slid between them.“Holy shit… did we do what I think we did?” Derek murmured.“Several times,” I giggled.“Wow,” Ryan muttered. Then he looked at me. “Did you… was it everything you hoped it would be?”I kissed him. “Without a doubt, last night was the best night of my entire life
Affair with the Rockstar Derek kissed me
Derek kissed me, his cock pressed hard against my belly – and then he pushed me back onto the bed. He stood above me, his erection jutting hard and stiff into the air, as he placed the condom on the head of his cock and slowly rolled it downwards.Ryan was looking left out and forlorn, so I gestured to him. He sank down on the bed and began to kiss me, his left hand playing with my breast.“Um…” Derek said.“I want to be able to kiss and touch both of you,” I said. “Not just one at a time.”Derek sighed. “Alright, fine. Just remember the rules, dude.”“Don’t worry about me,” Ryan said darkly.Derek lowered himself between my legs and began to lick his way up the inside of my thighs. I sighed and moaned as Ryan kissed me – and then he pulled away and stared into my eyes.At just that moment, Derek reached my pussy and slowly began to lick up my lips to my clit.One man going down on me, another staring into my eyes and caressing my face – it was one of the most erotic things I’d ever e
Affair with the Rockstar Ryan was the first to move
Ryan was the first to move. He cupped my face in his hands and leaned over and kissed me, slowly… sensually.As I closed my eyes and gave myself over to the kiss, another pair of hands slowly touched my waist. Derek.He brushed aside my hair, and I felt his warm lips on the back of my neck.I shivered, and a jumble of emotions surged through me all at once: fear. Excitement. Desire. Shame. Love. Longing. Uncertainty.Were we really going to do this?Was this really going to happen?As Ryan continued to kiss me, one of Derek’s hands tugged at my blouse, pulled it up out of my skirt, and brushed across my bare skin.Holy SHIT, this really WAS going to happen.I parted lips with Ryan, then felt a gentle tug at my hair. I turned my head slowly, as though in a trance – and Derek’s lips were there to meet mine.With Ryan’s taste still in my mouth, now I had Derek’s, as well – the slightly darker, smokier taste of his lips, his tongue.It felt wrong.But it was sooooo hot.Ryan began to nuz
Affair with the Rockstar A couple of times
A couple of times there was some angry shouting from the bedroom, but most of the talk was in hushed whispers. Under ordinary circumstances I might have been interested in eavesdropping, but I was so drained, I really couldn’t work up the enthusiasm. Besides, I knew what they were talking about: me.And they talked for a looooong time.After about ten minutes, I gave in and opened the wine. Like the classy lady I am, I swigged it right out of the bottle.Twenty minutes later I was finished with the wine and had a nice buzz going – probably due to my exhaustion as much as the alcohol – when they finally walked out.The stood in front of me, and this time it was me who waited anxiously.“Well?” I finally asked.“…okay,” Derek said.My eyes almost bugged out of my head.“What?!”“I said okay.”“I know what you said, but – ” I turned to Ryan. “You’re okay with this?”He looked unhappy. “I wouldn’t call it ‘okay,’ but… I can’t lose you. I won’t lose you.”“Same goes for me,” Derek agreed.
Affair with the Rockstar They stood there
They stood there staring at me mutely for what seemed like ages.Derek spoke first.“…what?”“I want both of you. I need both of you in my life.”“We’ve both been in your life the last few weeks, and I think we’ve seen how that worked out,” Ryan said darkly.“Which means you two are going to have to work it out and learn to live with each other – if you want to stay with me.” I turned to Derek. “I know you can’t be faithful. Not forever, anyway – ”“I can and I will,” he protested. “You just have to give me a chance.”“I already gave you a chance,” I said. “You even said back in Vegas that you would have cheated no matter what.”“That was the old me!”I shook my head. “I can’t – I won’t – be with somebody who would lie to me, who would rip away everything we built together like that,” I said, snapping my fingers.“I wouldn’t do that,” Derek protested.I just looked at him for a moment like, Really? REALLY. He sighed in pain. “You won’t ever trust me again, will you?”I hesitated for
Affair with the Rockstar Jessie's girl finally ended
“Jessie’s Girl” finally ended and they launched into one of the new songs, “Gold And Diamonds.” Derek didn’t alter anything in that one, but the shenanigans weren’t over yet. Not by a long shot.As soon as it was over, he announced to the crowd, “I’m thinkin’ another cover… what about ‘My Best Friend’s Girl’?”The Cars’ 1978 hit.He was sticking to a theme.Again, Killian looked panicked.Again, Ryan nodded his consent… but he looked like he might pop out a switchblade or a Saturday Night Special any second.Derek sang the song.I felt sick.Derek was trying to tear Ryan apart, all on account of me. Just because he was doing it by fucking with his head didn’t make it any less painful or brutal.Next up was a Bigger song – “Girl, Please Stay.” Which kind of stuck to the theme.The crowd sang along.Another spontaneous cover followed: Blink 182’s “Dammit.”Ryan agreed again when Killian looked at him, even though it was evident what Derek was doing. It was hard to miss when he changed t
Affair with the Rockstar After the interaction
After the interaction with Miles – one more strand of loss in my personal Gordian Knot – I lost my taste for any further drinking and went back upstairs.Ryan was already in bed. As soon as I came in, he rolled over. “Hey.”“Hey,” I said as I sat down on the edge.We stayed in uncomfortable silence for awhile.“I still want to be with you,” I said quietly.A long pause.“…but…” he said, waiting for the other shoe to drop.“I don’t know. I’m… I’m…”I started to cry. Not out of any attempt to get out of the discussion, but because I was so tired. And so worn down. And so unhappy about hurting so many people – including myself.Ryan is nothing if not a softie. He lay there for a few seconds listening to me, then stretched out his hand. “Come here.”I sniffled and crawled across the covers until I was nestled against his bare chest.“I want to be with you,” I whispered.“Are you absolutely sure that’s what you want?”I nodded ‘yes,’ because I wasn’t entirely sure I could convince him with
Affair with the Rockstar i hastily wiped
I hastily wiped my tears off my cheek, then the taste of Derek off my lips.“Just a minute – ”There was the sound of a beep, and the click of the lock.The door opened before I could get it, and there stood Ryan.He looked furious.I cringed, imagining him about to say all the horrible things about myself I knew I deserved to hear – “Did he hurt you?” he asked, striding into the room and enveloping me in his arms.Oh my God…I was feeling so guilty about my desires, and all he could think of was if I was alright.“No,” I sobbed.“Tell me the truth – did he hurt you?” He held me out at arm’s length, his face a mask of fury. “I’ll kill him – so help me God, I’ll fucking – ”Our eyes met, and suddenly he knew.All the anger drained away and was replaced by hurt. But when he spoke, his voice was dead. “…you kissed him.”I exhaled shakily. “He kissed me.”His arms went slack and he let go of me. Just stood there, looking at me. Then he walked past me like he was in a trance, sat on the e
Affair with the Rockstar Austin City limited
Austin City Limits was only a week away.Bigger almost didn’t go. In fact, they wouldn’t have gone except for Riley.“You fuckin’ pussies can bail, but I’m not, and fuck ALL y’all if you try to say it’s cuz of me,” she said angrily as she sat up in her hospital bed.It was a band meeting with Derek, Killian, and Ryan in her hospital room on Sunday night. Miles was there, too, as was I. Megan had wanted to stay, but Riley forced her to catch a redeye back to New York so she could return to her med school classes Monday morning.“Riley, your health is the most important thing here,” Ryan said.“I’m fine.”“You’re not fine. You almost died.”“Well I’m not dead NOW, am I? So we’re playin’ the fuckin’ concert!”“Riley, you’re in no condition to play,” Derek said.“Fuck you – I’ve done gigs where I was beat up, bleeding, almost dead and I still played.”“Not with Bigger, you didn’t,” Miles growled.“No, not with fuckin’ Bigger, cause you’re all a bunch of pussies!”“As manager – ”“As manag
