Chapter 4 A long distance relationship

   I used not to believe in a long-distance relationship a.k.a Ldr. It is a really challenging situation to the both parties. Several trust issue might come along the way. Why would anyone choose to be with someone who can't be there.

   Suddenly, I understood no one wants to be with a long-distance relationship. But when you already on that situation you will embrace it will all your heart. You will able to accept all the challenges might come, people stay because of one irrevocable reason- Love. A love that worth everything. 

  Our time difference is one of the major problem we encounter. Being separated from someone you love takes emotional, psychological, physical stress. There where times you want to be with him on your dark days but he wasn't able to do that. During night time I make sure to give him a time so we can catch up on what was happening to us. Yes most of the time I'm the one who adjusting to us. I’m focusing on my studies but I had to make sure I will never miss a chance to say hello and check him. Even how tired we are we make sure the distances between us will not be the reason for us to be broke.

  On our third year being apart from each other was though. I miss him every day. There where times we haven’t talk for almost a week, due to many school works, exams activities. There times that I’m being out of focus on my study which my parents are worrying about.

  “Bettina? I got a phone call from the university, they said you’re having failures on your class.” My dad asked me calmly. “Is there a problem? It’s not you sweet heart! I know you?!? You’ve been good in your class since your in primary. If you need anyone to talk we are here" I saw my dad being so worried about me. “I’m sorry Dad I didn’t mean to discourage you, I know how much my study means to you and Mom. I’m just a little exhausted but I will be fine. I promise I will make up to my class" I know my father are not convinced on me, but I had to make him at ease. So I catch up everything my behinds . I pay more of my attention on my school. This is my fathers dream to me to be a future Doctor. I’m already on my third year few more years’ I will be able to graduated and do my Internship. Few more years I will become I Surgeon which I always dreamt of. Until one day!

  "Bettina please I’m tired, I had a lot of things to do. Not this time!" he shouted exceedingly   

  "Justin, I know you are tired as well as me too!!". This is not easy for both us! but I need to know who is this AVA. You think I never saw all your pictures!! You think I never noticed she is so clingy to you?!! You told me she is just a friend? But it’s not how I saw it.

   I'm totally pissed I deserve to know the truth I give him so much love, I understands him. I don't deserve to be treated this way but I stayed calm. I talk him in a very nice way I didn’t mean us to fight but I deserve to know the truth. Out of nowhere, I heard him say.

  "I think we need space for now Bettina. I had a lot of pressure on school. My mom wants me to be a top on the class. It's not that easy babe, I'm really having hard times. I know I will hurt you but I need to focus on my studies now!" 

   I felt cold, I don't know what to say. My lips started to tremble, as well as my hand is shaking.

  "I'm sorry babe, I didn't mean to hurt you. You know how much I love you and I really do. But I need time for myself for now. Just one year!  Just one year!!! I will be back so please wait for me!" thus he giving me a false hope

   I don't have any courage to speak, I did nothing but cry.

  "Bettina?! please talk to me, say anything!! You can shout at me, despise me. Please!! Talk to me!!!" I heard him crying in tears now

  "Why?! One year you think is that just easy Justin??! There's a lot of things might happen in a year. How sure I am you will come back?!? I love you babe but please don't give me hope. I already gave my faith in you but you disappointed me. You told me nothing can make us apart! I just asked you who is Ava, I know I am become compulsive but it's not a valid reason for you to ask for a space! You're emotional and physical stress, your under pressure! I understand that! But did you ever think we are in the same way too? Did you ever think I’m having my hard times too, there are times that I’m breaking up too with too much pressure on school family and us. But never ever comes in my mind to ask for a space to you!!" I didn’t heard any word coming on him he just listened to me and cry.

  "Justin you told me we can surpass any trials as long as we are together!!" But why? It's that easy for you to throw away everything we had?!”  my voice now is started to shake. I lean on my door as I felt numbness on my legs. I kept this relationship for so long. But hearing him asking for a space I'm almost break down I lost all the faith on us.

  My tears keeps falling in my eyes, I never imagine this will going to happen. I hang up the phone I didn't give him a chance to speak. If I do so, maybe I will not take it anymore. He keeps on calling me but I turned off my phone. I need time, a time to be alone. I lay on my bed and continue to cry until I had nothing to cry. I felt alone, betrayed. Am I not that worth it to fight for??.

  Years had past but I still feel the pain. Being heart broken is never easy. You will feel dump and unworthy. You will start questioning yourself did I never give enough. But my world doesn’t need to stop I need to have courage to lift up my self again. I’m already done on the past of crying I need to move on and learn to forgive. It’s not easy but I had to. There’s always a light in the end of the tunnel.

  I need to close the phase of my life with him. Life must move on its not easy but I know I can.

 “Bettina! Good morning! It’s  Saturday today you guess what I’m thinking?! Kyla wakes me up with a very good smile

  My sister Kyla wants to go watch a movie since she was inspired with her new found love. She wants to celebrate it with me. She really deserve it Kyla is always the best, hardworking and compassionate in everything she’s been doing.

  The movie will start at 3:00 in the afternoon. We came early so me and Kyla decided to had lunch first on one of our favorite restaurant Café Quesadillas. They serve the best Quesadillas in town. It is the best Tortilla we ate. We even ordered a Mexican Coleslaw and Tomato Salsa for our side dish and a finest Red wine.

   As soon us we finished the movie. I asked Kyla if she can come with me to walk and maybe had a little drink. The past year’s was tough I’m started to rebuild myself but still anxious.

  “Stop worrying about the future Bet. Life isn’t always meant to be want we want it to be. Things will change as well as the world changing. You just need to be you and accept all your flaws!”. While Kyla tapping on my shoulder she looked at me, comfort me.

  She is right I should not worry about the future. “Every cloud has a silver lining”