170

EDEN

I needed help. Badly.

When I gave birth to Belle, I was suicidal but it wasn't like this. I guess the fact that I was navigating child birth alone and for the first time as well, I had some crazy thoughts. I was very scared about what was going to happen.

But luckily, I had Alicia and that was enough. But this time around, I don't know if it was the trauma of the events of the last few months but I knew that I was feeling something different this time around.

Not only was I suicidal but I was feeling very murderous. I didn't want Roman around me and every time he came around me with that baby, I wanted to tell him to take himself and the baby out of my face.

He was saying I said things I didn't remember saying. Like when Belle fell down from the table and he said that it was because of me, I didn't remember saying that.

I'd black out for hours and then wake up with no recollection of what happened and then Roman would come and say that I did something. I didn't even know what to