Chapter 20 If I were to rate my life right about now, I'd say on a scale of one to ten, it's a five. That's not so bad, right? I mean it could be wayy better, for sure, but then I'd need loads of money to up the scales. I'd always dreamt of traveling to Paris, the city of love. I'm wistful now, thinking about all the things I could do with money. My damn boss didn't want to help, even when I threatened to inform the police about his nefarious activities. The fucker had found it hilarious. He said half of the LA police was under his payroll. I don't doubt it. You don't get to his position without having some form of insurance and assurance as well. That, he's got lots of. That's all well and good for him, but that still brings me back to square one. As I walk down the street leading to the dingy apartment I share with Alicia, I'm filled with a loathing so strong, it's eating me up from the inside. I can't stand this place. Yes, we've never had much, even when daddy was alive, bu
Chapter 21 Whoever said there's no such thing as just fucking a woman and not catching feelings needs to have his head examined. I take a sip of the scotch in my hand and wince as it burns a path down my throat. As I throw back the second refill, I grudgingly realize that person just might be correct. I know hazel eyes no longer works for Harry's cargo and she's starting nursing school the following week. That means whatever shit I have with her should have closed down the moment I heard. Instead, I made a deal with Mr. Harry that as long as I keep sending in goods through him, he should keep paying her, and double of what she was earning. That wasn't all. When I got a text from her asking if I'd sent her flowers, I felt something inch it's way across my chest, tightening it, constricting it. I shouldn't have gone to see her, hell, seeing her that day wasn't even on my mind. But what did I do? I got into the car and drove, like a mad man, to her doorstep, asking the first thing
Chapter 22 Beauty is alluring. Beauty is elegance. Beauty is a woman subjected to all sorts of body manipulations. Who am I kidding? Beauty is pain. My head feels like it's going to spilt into two with the tight chignon Tanya has my long hair in. Let's not get started on my face and the stuff she's put on it. "Stand still, let me put the finishing touches to your makeup. You're sweating like it's going out of fashion." She says to me with a voice full of exasperation. "I'm trying but you know I'm not used to wearing all this heavy stuff." She has put a ton of powder on my face already and it's beginning to feel numb, plus I'm sweating buckets and it's so uncomfortable. "I'm only going for lunch, not a beauty pageant." "That's the point though, you need to look your best." She says, fiddling with my lashes. "Ouch!" That stings. "And now I can't see well. What did you do?" She sighs exasperatingly once more. "That's 'cause you've refused to close your eyes. I'm only using fake
Chapter 23I like to think of myself as an attractive young woman, one who's kind and blushes at the very idea of dirtying her reputation. I've always been a prim and proper lady with a sense of modesty. I've never used 'fuck' when talking.All that stops today as I stare at the man that has continuously plagued my dreams.Swear words dance on the tip of my tongue, ready to be let loose. Blood rushes to my head as Ash walks closer to me. My eyes zone in on his hand which is clasping the hand of the woman beside him. A woman that isn't me. I expect him to speak to me, or to make a snide remark about why I'm just standing and staring at them.What I don't expect is the reaction I get.He walks past me like I'm air.Like I don't exist.Like I'm nothing.The woman gives me a curious look and tightens her hold on Ash's hand. They pass me, and his cologne wafts into my nostrils. That woodsy, minty smell I've gotten acc
Chapter 24The floozy almost shrinks. "But-""Did I stutter?" His eyes are cold and unyielding, making the floozy drop her head. Without another word, she walks out with the man following on her heels.I don't realize he's behind me until his voice is near my ear. "She's gone. Now, what do you want?"I know he's angry but I can take it. I can take whatever he's going to dish out to me. I just need to tell him how I feel first. "I. . . I haven't heard from you all this while and when I saw you this night, it's just. . ." I take a deep breath. "I guess I missed you." I finish, shrugging.He doesn't say anything for awhile. Instead, I feel the roughness of his palm as he takes my hand and leads me to the stairs. When we get into his room, he lets go of me and faces me, offering a slight shrug in the process. "You want to play around for a bit?""Yes!" I answer instantly, not stopping to think what that might mean unt
Chapter 25Happiness is being fucked so rough you can hardly breathe, can hardly speak, can do nothing but squeal like a rat as he nails you over and over, pushing inside of you so hard, so deep, that you can feel the man not only with your body, but also with your soul as well. Happiness is waking up the following morning, barely able to recall your own name because the only one that mattered was his, screamed so loud your throat is painfully raw, like the name had bled from your lips.And love. . .It means seeing the beauty in the ugly, the light in the dark, and accepting that even if the lights are off and I can't see what's in front of me, there will be something to guide my way. Love means turning yourself inside out and handing yourself over to someone else. Trusting them to touch you, handle your and bend you, but never break what you give them.It takes just two days to realize it. Two days of bei
Chapter 26 Many people don’t know this; In order to make money, you actually need to have it, or borrow it. . . or steal it. That’s what I did. I stole it. Well. . . at least I stole something I can sell in order to get money. As I stare at the jewelry nestled in the case in my hand, a twinge of guilt assails me. When Alicia looks for the necklace and finds out its missing, she’s going to know I took it, and then she’ll flip her lid. It’s the only thing worth anything at all. A family heirloom from my great grandmother who handed it over to her first born daughter. It was in turn handed over to mother who then handed it over to Alicia. And now I’ve stolen it in order to pawn it. I have no other option. None whatsoever. I promise to buy something more worthwhile for her when I settle my own side of the deal with Mr. Ash. “How much do you want for this?” The man with the bushy facial hair asks, drawing me back from my reveries. Forgive me, mum, but I’ve got to do this. “T
Chapter 27Thank God for alarm clocks. I jet up immediately, momentarily confused as I look around wonderingly. I search for my phone and stop the shrill noise coming from it, then drag myself to take a shower. Probably the shortest I've ever taken, after which I throw on some clothes, not checking to see what they are.Way to go making a good first impression, Alicia.I flip my rucksack onto my back and throw all my necessities inside.Wallet and Phone CheckLipgloss CheckHouse keys CheckI rush out of the apartment and grab the key from inside my bag before locking it and throwing it back inside.Thirty minutes later and I'm racing to my first class. I practically ask a million people before I'm able to find my way to the lecture theater. If not for a good Samaritan who practically takes me by the hand and leads me there, I would have totally missed it, which by the way is already underway as I slide int