I ran from his office all the way to my room, pulling the door open and slamming it shut behind me. The moment I was inside, I collapsed and all my overwhelming emotions engulfed me. Pain that felt almost physical gripped at my neck, choking me to the point where breathing was only possible laboriously. My chest hurt like a thousand stabs continuously ripped through it, and tears poured endlessly. Why did it hurt so bad? This was always my purpose, this was always going to be the end. I had no right to feel pity or regret, I had no right to hope for things to be different. I was no different from a petty thief, not deserving of anything close to goodness and yet…and yet, my heart bled.My heart bled while I served him poison that would lead to his own demise, while he accepted it with open hands, with emotions, deceptive or not, that looked at me hopefully. I was no different from the wicked people I had come against, no different from Lucas and everyone like them. Why did it hur
CONTAINS SCENCES OF SEXUAL ASSAULT.I run in the direction Kain points me towards the next minute. He’s supposed to be on the training ground for some reason.By the time I get there it’s an empty wide space with Ivan by the center of it all resting on one knee almost as though he’s going to pass out any minute.“Ivan!” I yell his name running towards him.Luckily I get to him just in time before he falls back resting on me instantly.He’s already heavily perspiring, with his shirt soaked and his forehead covered in tiny drop lets. His breath rushed and deep.“Ivan, can you hear me?” I ask but there’s no verbal response, just a sound he makes at the back of his throat to confirm that he is.That’s good enough for me.The dose of drug in his system is high enough to be considered a poison now so I need to administer an antidote before it’s too late and it goes into his brain.“I’m going to lift you up okay? I need you to help me out.” I say to him.I drag him up with all my strength an
I wait patiently… well not patiently but I wait while the doctor assesses Ivan’s physical state.After the whole incident Kain and I brought him to be examined and Kain had left to get his own wounds and cuts treated while I waited behind to get a prognosis.I know I won’t be able to rest easy until I’m sure he’s fine physically. I would never forgive myself if he wasn’t.She does her usual procedure checking his vitals and all before she turns to me.“Well, he seems anemic and feverish. He might be down for a while but he’s going to be just fine after some resting and minor treatments.”I sigh finally letting myself breath again.He’s okay… he’s going to be fine.It’s hard believing that while he just lays there unconscious and in deep sleep and especially after what happened hours earlier.He had seems like a different dangerous person, with a darkness I had never seen in him. If the drug works by bringing out a person’s hidden self then just what was thatNo, that want Ivan, he was
LILITH’S POVThe second Ivan wakes up from his deep sleep state two days later, I’m there standing just outside his door, practicing breathing exercises to muster up the courage to face him.Memories of the incident don’t help the situation at all, plaguing my mind over and over again the second I’m not with Kain or I’m less busy, so in translation, I’ve been tormented with guilt.So now, I’m standing outside his door with a tray of food for him to feast on since he hasn’t eaten anything for a while.I give myself one final confidence boost before I knock on the door and pull it open.Right on his bed, he sits up, staring through the window while resting his back against the pillow behind him.There’s a distant look in his eyes and even more emptiness reflecting off them. For a second, I think just maybe the after effects of blue angel hadn’t worn off yet and fear grips meBut then, he turns to me after I’ve stood by the door for a few seconds and he seems okay.“Hey.” I say first, s
“You don’t know what you’re talking about.” I state firmly standing my ground.We are immediately locked in a full on stare down, unwavering stares directed towards the other.Everything I’ve dread and been desperately fighting avoid shows itself even with all my countless efforts and even though I deny it strongly enough the look in his eyes tells me he’s not going to let this goWhich means I have to find some way to escape the situation.“You’re going to flat out deny it eve with all the evidence I have?”“You have no evidence Ivan, it’s just a hypothesis. You don’t know if one of the guards knows a woman he tells his secret, or if Fred was just ling against me.”“Did the guard’s girlfriend try to poison Kain with some bizarre drug?” his tone rises with me and his words hurt like a dagger stabbing my heartI had done that, to Kain, but then it’s already happened and the crisis has been averted.“Like I said the tea might have been just bad.”“Bullshit Lilith! We both know that’s bu
The determination in his eyes is what scares me most of all.The fact that he could be so sure of something and willing to toss everything aside just for what he believes in.I haven’t even recovered from the drama with Kain and understanding why I want to kill him and kiss him at the same time.I don’t have the energy for any of this.I stand from the floors almost abruptly surprising Ivan himself who stands up almost as fast as I do and watches m until he realizes that I’m leaving.“Where are you going?”“Far away from all this.” I announce coldly.“I get you might have gone through a lot that makes running away easier for you but this isn’t going to go away just because you can’t handle it.”I pause at the door again ticked off.“Like I said before you don’t know anything about me. You can’t just pull off all this bullshit and expect me to just take it, like oh I found out you’re the spy and by the way I have a crush on you so I don’t mind betraying my alpha just for you.”“Sorry I
Kain’s POVLeaving Ivan’s room has me feeling a bit of residual anger mostly from her scent hanging all over the place.My wolf rolls uncomfortable pushing against the restraints of my mind knowing she had been with another man, while I try to think logically.It’s almost as if as the days go by this uncontrollable passiveness and desire to have her mine seem to only growing with much more intensity.The desire to claim her hasn’t fizzled out, I’ve only gotten the hang of suppressing the thoughts when she’s close to me, but I’m not sure about the future.My wolf thoughts and mine begin to blur at this point making it hard to separate my desires from that of my wolves.I place my palm against my nose to block out the intoxicating sweet scent like roses and golden honey with mine.To soften my reaction to it, but then unconsciously my thoughts and mind leading me heading even closer to it until I see her.Feet away she stares through a window blankly with worry etched at her forehead to
From the moment the sun rises today the hustle and bustle going on is almost unavoidable almost as though the whole building is alive.I myself haven’t slept a wink the night before knowing that today is the day of departure. The day Kain makes the first move at conquering Riverstone pack and dragging Arden’s head back as his trophy.Even with the realization of what’s to come I can’t help but feel skeptical.Maybe it’s the pessimistic side of me worried about things that aren’t or shouldn’t be, holding onto the what ifs that implies everything crumbling down.But there’s a fact I remind myself countless times.Arden cannot beat Kain, and that’s why he needs me to steal the blood scroll.Before the sun is fully out and up in the sky, I wash up and change into something more presentable before leaving.The tradition is usually his concubines waiting at the entrance to wish him farewell and good luck before he leaves, and I find myself excited in participating in something so small.Bei