The last push

Eliana got on the bus after leaving her parents’ house, and her mind was a complete mess because of what had just happened. She knew things would go wrong, they could never tolerate each other. However, still all that was affecting her a lot.

Only one person was coming to her mind, Leo. She needed him, his warmth and comfort. She took the bus and went to his place without informing him beforehand. She wasn’t thinking of any of the problems that she had with him. At this point, he was just the only person who understood her and stood by her side even after knowing everything about her. That was one reason she was still with him, hoping he would be back that way. 

The journey through the bus was quite long and her mind was a mess the whole time. She was overthinking a lot, getting anxious, and losing her mind again. Her hands trembling and her eyes looking around desperately as if she was trying to find something but she couldn’t; she didn’t even know what she was looking for. She felt as if someone was staring at her but when she looked around, she found no such person.

She got off the bus, now, standing in front of his apartment building. She rushed inside, her hands were trembling and sweat covered her forehead. Leo wasn’t answering her messages. She knew the pin code and opened the door herself. 

It was pretty quiet and she first thought he wasn’t at home but as she walked further she saw that clothes were thrown around the house, trailing up to his room. That wasn’t like him, he could never tolerate such a mess. It made her nervous and she walked up to his room slowly. 

As she reached it, she could hear a girl’s voice from inside the bedroom. She got even more nervous after hearing that. She opened the door a little bit with her hands trembling and peeked inside. Her legs were slowly losing strength and her breathing got unstable but she covered her mouth to not make any noise. She was praying that it would be a misunderstanding; that it was nothing like what she was thinking. She peeked inside the room slowly. 

Her eyes widened on seeing that sight. Leo lying on the bed, holding Nora in his arms. They both were naked, the bedsheets ruffled and some clothes scattered on the floor. 

They both were hugging each other. 

“I’m so glad you still love me…” Nora said and held him closer, their arms wrapped around each other and bodies touching every corner. “I had to leave suddenly and wasn’t able to inform you. I’m sorry…” 

“No… You don’t have to be sorry...I always loved you and always will.” Leo pecked on her forehead. 

Tears trickled down Eliana’s cheeks. She didn’t dare to hold them back anymore, but she had covered her mouth as she didn’t want to cry out loud. She was able to hear his thoughts again, against her wish.

“I’m so glad, Nora’s back. I couldn’t live without her. I did like Eli...but she’s not Nora. She’s too gloomy and quiet. It makes me depressed as well. I’m gonna break up with her after this. I didn’t actually love her anyway, it was all a lie since the beginning. All that drama just because she looked a little like Nora.” 

Eliana scoffed as she was betrayed by the person she trusted the most. She had told him all her secrets thinking he understood her but he was the same as everyone. Even he disliked her. Leo hadn’t actually heard what she said as he started thinking of Nora every time and comparing them both or he completely avoided the topic.

She stepped back, her body leaning against the wall after a few steps. She wiped away the tears from her eyes and took deep breaths. But nothing helped, she was a crying mess again and felt like she couldn’t breathe properly. The huge apartment with big windows felt suffocating to her. She stepped to her right and ran outside. The other two inside didn’t even know that she was there. 

She walked outside the building, stood there, and bent down to catch her breath. She was feeling as if she was strangled, her eyes got teary in no time and tears started falling on the ground. She looked up and ran in some unknown direction. 

The scene was similar to 2 months ago, Eliana running through the crowd, crying uncontrollably. After running for some time she tripped and started crying harder. It felt like everything was going wrong. She felt strangled in ties and there seemed to be no end or the start of these ties. It was painful but still, only good memories came to her mind, she had become a prisoner to them. They stopped her from moving on, holding her back from leaving them and finding her happiness. 

She remembered that green-eyed guy again and the promise they had made to each other. He broke his promise right away but she kept hers. She was still trying her best not to give up. But now it felt like she couldn’t anymore. Leo cheating on her was the last push. She had had enough now. 

She wiped her tears away and started walking aimlessly again. Her feet somehow bare again. It was a sunny day, the sun shining bright at the top of their heads. It made her feel dizzy but she still didn't stop walking. She didn't know her destination but knew she had to do something. The sun, the burning ground didn't affect her; she had already become numb to all the pain after having endured it her whole life. The whole day she felt like someone was staring at her. But even when she looked around there was no one.

It was evening soon and the sun went down. It was getting too cold but she couldn’t care less. She was now out of the city. There was a long bridge connecting it to the other one. 

There were fewer cars at night. She stood there staring at the long river, which never seemed to end. She was reminded of everything bad that had happened to her till now. Everything she'd suffered. Her feet were burning but now the pain was stinging and killing her slowly. Her head dizzy but her body still trying to stand straight. 

She stepped forward, standing on the railing of the bridge, about to jump off. Her expressions were neutral, with no sign of pain or regret at this point.

She couldn’t endure this pain now and felt like it was better to end it forever. There seemed to be no reason to live on for. No person to be happy for. No one wanted her or would be sad if she died.