CHAPTER 95

ONE WEEK LATER

HAZEL

The gentle sounds of the waves breaking on the shore soothed me. I rested my chin on my knees, trying to lose myself in the beauty of the beach. The gulls flying overhead, the ebb and flow of the moving water, and the utter peace.

Except, I wasn’t peaceful. I felt lost, torn. I was grateful that my mom was no longer trapped in a never-ending nightmare of painful moments, but I missed her terribly. Her voice, her laughter, the tender way she would cup my cheek, kiss my forehead, tweak my nose, the way she always knew the right things to say at every moment.

It felt like there was a gaping hole in my chest that nothing could fix. I’d lost people before, but this feeling… it was nothing I’d ever felt before. If she were here I could talk to her, tell her what I was feeling, and she would explain it to me. She would tell me what to do next.

I was in love with my husband, a man who wasn’t in love with me. A man who felt love made you weak and couldn’t love himself. He