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CHAPTER 101
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A vow of hate CHAPTER 102
I woke up, the fluttering of panic fast in my chest when the spot beside me was empty. I sat up, throwing the blanket back and striding out of the bedroom. I relaxed when I spotted Hazel on the beach. She stood, facing the water, holding something to her chest. I glanced over, confirming the fact Sandra’s urn was gone from the mantle.My wife was saying goodbye.Returning to the bedroom, I grabbed my pants, tugging them on. I picked up my T-shirt and yanked it over my head as I hurried outside, crossing the beach. The weather system they had predicted was already making its presence known. The waves were higher, hitting the sand with loud slaps. The wind was picking up, and I knew, soon, the rain would follow, and the storm would make my wife nervous.I reached her side, enveloping her in my arms.“I was waiting for you.” She said.“You should have woken me up.”“I wanted a little time. I knew you wouldn’t be far behind me.”“Are you sure?”She smiled up at me, the glimmer of tears in
A vow of hate CHAPTER 103
HAZEL“Surprise!”I jumped as the party poppers went off and filled the air with confetti and streamers the second I opened the door to our house. “Wha—?” I exclaimed with wide eyes, caught by surprise.“Mummy!” Valerie jumped on me from behind the confetti, giggling sweetly.I went down to my knees and enveloped her in a tight hug, instinctively inhaling her scent. Tears filled my eyes as I hugged her tiny frame even tighter. God! I had missed her.“Can’t bweathe,” Valerie whispered.“Oh, I’m sorry baby,” I loosened my arms around her, still keeping her close. “I just missed you so much!”“I missed you too, mummy.” She said, making me tear up even more. I’d been crazy to even think that I would’ve been able to leave her forever. There’s no way in hell that would’ve been possible.“Oh, so you didn’t miss me then?” Christian said behind me, his voice tinged with fake hurt.Valerie giggled. “I missed you too daddy. Did you miss me?”“Of course I did, princess.” He answered, crouching do
A vow of hate CHAPTER 104
THE PASTCHRISTIAN, 5 YEARS AGOI sat stiffly at the table in the overly fancy restaurant my assistant had booked, wanting to be anywhere but there. A flurry of conversation and laughter continued around the table where the company staff sat with me, enjoying the vibe and their dinner. The sounds of cutlery and the occasional clink of wineglass against wineglass accompanied their satisfied laughter. I normally wouldn’t do something like this. I was perfectly okay with paying for the dinner and having them go enjoy themselves on their own—I figured they would even be more comfortable without me here— but Grandfather thought it was good rep. He thought I needed to bond with the staff outside of the office, and somehow, he managed to convince me to have a group dinner with them. On the bright side, I’d expected them to be all awkward with me being there, but they seemed to be genuinely enjoying themselves. Me on the other hand… my head was clouded with thoughts of her. Hazel…It was one
A vow of hate CHAPTER 105
THE PASTWe left the park and took a stroll around the city, under the night lights. I looked so out of place walking around in my three piece suit, but it didn’t matter. The gravel crunched under my shoes on the small path we were walking. I racked my brain for the right words to say, but I still couldn’t come up with them. It still felt so surreal that Hazel was actually in front of me.“So…” she said, breaking the silence. “Christian Walker. You’re kind of a big deal aren’t you?”I chuckled awkwardly, scratching the back of my neck. “I wouldn’t say that.”“Oh come on,” she nudged the side of my stomach playfully. “You don’t have to be humble or anything. I saw the table when I walked into the restaurant. It was quite obvious that you were the boss.”“That obvious?” I asked.She laughed, making that melodious sound that I loved. “Jarring actually.”I laughed along with her, feeling the nerves slowly depart me. “What gave it away? Was it the suit?”“A three piece,” she mused. “It was
A vow of hate CHAPTER 106
CHRISTIANI jolted awake with a start when I heard a noise. I’d been sleeping, but I was pretty sure whatever that noise was had been going on for about fifteen minutes now. It had started as a quiet rustling noise, and then quickly progressed into scratching and I could hear things being knocked over. I pulled out my hand from underneath Valerie who was sleeping soundly nuzzled between me and Hazel, groaning at the pain that shot through it. Hazel mumbled a few incoherent words and switched over to lay over on her other side, but she didn’t wake up.I sat upright and listened for the noise again. I could hear the distant shuffling of feet, and another item was knocked over. I immediately went into defense mode. I shot one quick look at the bed as I slipped my feet into my slippers and got out of bed. They still slept peacefully. I tiptoed over to the door, being careful enough not to wake them, then I quietly opened the door. I walked over to the gym and grabbed the metal baseball ba
A vow of hate CHAPTER 107
My fists clenched and I let out a roar, which the dogs must have liked because they all started to howl at the same time and bounced around my feet in a whirl of fuzz and tails and paws. "Locking away children? You're insane, you need to be locked up in a crazy home. You lie to me, wreck our house, then compare me to a children's villain, all because you can't be a normal person and take responsibility and apologize?"She stood on tiptoes and got right in my face. "I tried to but you're being unreasonable."I reached out and gripped her upper arms. My fingers closed around something silky and I shook her slightly. "Unreasonable? Unreasonable? It's the middle of the night and I'm standing in a room full of dogs, dogs that I didn’t even know would be here, mind you!”“Christian, why can’t you be more human? They’re just innocent dogs.” She exclaimed.“Innocent? There’s nothing innocent about these creatures. Did you see what they did to my afghan!? Okay, that’s it. I’ve had enough. You’
A vow of hate CHAPTER 108
It was getting closer to December. The temperature had dropped considerably lower and it was officially jacket, coat and gloves season. Snow peppered the roads and buildings in a beautiful white coat. I sat in the driver seat of my car and reflected as I drove. The day at the office had gone by pretty fast, I had a ton of meetings, and the whole time, my mind was clouded with thoughts of my beautiful wife. If someone had told me at the beginning of the year that I would become this obsessed with her, I would have most definitely laughed in their face, yet here I was, completely smitten by her. I couldn’t wait to get into the warmth of our home and linger over a warm, hearty supper with my daughter and wife, watch a movie and crawl into bed with my wife, with full intentions of not sleeping.A small smile stayed on my face the whole way home. I parked in the driveway, not even bothering to go into the garage. I felt the snow crunch under my shoes as I walked into the foyer and shook of
A vow of hate CHAPTER 109
HAZELAfter I walked out of the doctor’s office, I took a cab to Chistian’s office instead of heading back home. I was still feeling a little dizzy, but if I was being honest with myself, I’d started feeling dizzy the moment the doctor had started talking. One time I’d been prescribed antibiotics for my sore throat when I was twenty-years-old, and I’d ended up at the emergency room. As it turned out, I was allergic to penicillin. Giving my blood was a whole other…experience. To say I didn’t like needles, doctors or hospitals of any kind would be an understatement. Because of all that, I could do nothing but feel dizzy, thinking the worst. As to why I was standing in front of the Walker building near Kerry Park, I didn’t have a straight answer for that. I walked through security, got in the elevator with six other people, and got off on Christian’s floor. I walked up to the red-haired, blue-eyed receptionist, the same one I’d seen at The Lark and the one time I’d been there.“Hi. I wan
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A vow of hate EPILOGUE
CHRISTIAN & HAZEL I chuckled as the doctor squirted the gel on Hazel’s tummy, making her squirm. Hazel always reacted to the cold. I kissed her and watched as the wand moved back and forth, and the image became clearer. “There’s your baby.” The doctor, Suzanne smiled, clicking and measuring. I held my breath as she turned on the sound, and I heard the heartbeat. The odd noise filled the room, the fast, steady sound like music to my ears. “You’re sure you want to know the sex?” “Yes!” Hazel and I exclaimed. “It’s a girl,” Suzanne announced. I laughed. “I’m surrounded. My own little harem.” Hazel’s eyes were focused on the screen. She tilted her head, looking confused. “It all looks good…” Suzanne’s voice trailed off. I frowned at the subtle change in the noise. It was faster, like an echo of itself, the strumming continuous. “Well, look who’s been hiding,” Suzanne mused and glanced over at us. She grinned and winked at me. “You did good, Christian.” She peered at the screen in
A vow of hate CHAPTER 169
HAZELI crawled into bed with Christian, snuggled into his side, and rested my head on his chest. He groaned as he shifted.“Are you all right?” I asked, worried that I had hurt him.He nodded. “Colin warned me that getting the sensation back in my legs was going to hurt. He’s fucking right.”Between rushing after Valerie, walking for everyone, moving around the house with his walker, and sitting on Valerie’s bed as he read to her for over an hour, I knew he was exhausted. But when I asked if he was ready to sleep, he said he wasn’t. I felt the same way too. Mentally, I was still wide awake. “Do you want some pain killers?”“No. As weird as it sounds, I want to feel it. I never thought I would get to this point, so aches and all, I’m going to go with it.”I laughed softly. “You’re right, Christian. You are weird.”He dragged her up his chest,causing a little gasp of surprise to escape me.“You wanna help me forget about the aches, Hazel?” he murmured in my ear, biting my lobe. “Make m
A vow of hate CHAPTER 168
The room around me buzzed with activity. Voices, people moving, talking to me, trying to get my attention. I held my breath, scared that if I even so much as breathed, I would miss something important.My focus was on one thing. The doctor examining Valerie. I had insisted, and finally Hazel relented, seeing how upset I was about her. My wife glanced up, smiling as she lifted Valerie to her shoulder. She tilted her chin, letting me know everything was okay. A fact that she was certain of, but I needed to be sure. She handed Valerie over to me and escorted the doctor out and I relaxed, pressing a kiss to my daughter’s head. She looked up, wrinkling her nose.“Hi, Daddy.” “Hey, baby girl.” She patted my hand. “Boo-boo better,” she cooed. “Good.” “Yeah, Daddy feels better.” I brushed a curl off her face. “How did you know?” She pushed on my cheek with her tiny finger. “You Daddy again. You smile.” I dropped my head, pressing kisses all over her sweet little fa
A vow of hate CHAPTER 167
I had never tried to comfort a person still caught between being a young man and a grown-ass adult. I had never reached out and been the role model.It was another lesson I was learning.Dennis was emotional. Filled with apologies. Begging for forgiveness. Once I broke through his stuttering words and barely held-back sobs, I set him straight.“What happened was not your fault. You didn’t put me in this wheelchair, Dennis. None of it is your doing. You need to stop blaming yourself.”“I can’t.”“You can. Get some help. I’ll ask Randy to take you on. He is an amazing person to help you sort things out and get your head straight.” I barked out a laugh. “If he can handle my shit, he can help you.”“But he’s here.”“Yes,” I agreed. “Which is where you need to be. You have a life waiting here for you, Dennis. A job you’re good at. Friends. Family.” I huffed out a breath. “Don’t let that day define you. Move past it.”“The guilt,” he said quietly. “It holds me hostage. That I’m walking arou
A vow of hate CHAPTER 166
I grabbed her hips, guiding her. Pushing her up and pulling her back down. She sobbed my name, her back arching as her release washed through her. I watched as she lost herself in the moment. I had forgotten how beautiful she was in her release. The way her entire frame shuddered. How she bit her lip and lowered her chin as if sinking into the feeling. The breathiness of my name falling from her lips. And how it felt when her muscles fluttered, tightened around me, taking all I had—giving me so much more.My body strained, the urge to thrust and grind against her eclipsing everything else. An orgasm hit me, obliterating everything in its path. I saw stars, the ecstasy was so great. I opened my mouth in a soundless scream, and somewhere, deep inside, I felt a flex, the pinching of muscles not used for so long now gripping, then vanishing as fast as they had engaged. A long, agonized sound escaped as my entire being surrendered. The pain, the pleasure, the sweet torture of it all.Hazel
A vow of hate CHAPTER 165
CHRISTIANThe taste and feel of my wife chased away the last lingering remnants of my dream. Hazel wasn’t walking away. She was right here, with me, in my arms.Right where she should be.I kissed her deeply, seeking out her tongue with mine, stroking hard and deep. Reclaiming her mouth. Reclaiming her. I yanked her tight to my chest, pulling off the towel she had draped around her body. I pushed down the blanket that covered me, needing to feel her. I dragged her over my lap, groaning at the feel of her weight pressing down on me. Still kissing her, I slid my hands over her silken thighs, parting them and settling her so she straddled me.She pulled back, gasping. “Is this okay?”“Fucking yes, it’s okay.” I pressed my mouth to her neck, licking up the damp, elegant column of her throat. “It’s fucking perfect.” I murmured. “You’re so perfect for me, Haze. And I’m such an idiot. Everything that has happened, it only made you stronger, but not me… I got weak.”She grabbed my face, holdi
A vow of hate CHAPTER 164
Valerie’s feet kicked in excitement as we turned down the street. I smiled at her in the rearview mirror.“Daddy waiting!” she crowed.I felt both excitement and trepidation as I pulled into the driveway. I wanted to come home so much, yet I was afraid of what was going to happen when we were alone. Would Christian continue moving forward, or would our presence once again cause him to slide backward? Once he got over the initial pleasure of seeing his child, would he again find her, and me, more of a bother? I wasn’t sure I could take it if that happened. I couldn’t watch the man I love disappear into the shell he used to be. But a small voice in my head kept telling me he wouldn’t. The gifts, the notes, the calls, and texts from him were all sent by the man I loved. He had made sure I knew how sorry he was feeling and how hard he was working to come back to us. He even opened up and expressed his worries, finally letting me know the depth of his fears. Finally letting me understand w
A vow of hate CHAPTER 163
HAZELChristian lifted his face from my neck, his eyes red, his cheeks damp. I had never witnessed him break down that way. The rare occasions when he cried, he still held himself in check, his pride unable to allow even me to fully see his pain. I grabbed the tissues Maddox had dropped beside us and wiped Christian’s face, cupping his cheeks. “Hey,” I whispered, looking up at him from where I crouched between his legs. “I guess I lost the last piece of my man card with that display,” he mumbled.“I doubt it. Maddox was openly weeping before you even finished walking, and Mia had to leave the room.” He frowned in confusion. “Why?” “They’re as proud of you as I am, Christian.” “Where are they?” “Maddox made sure you were back in your chair, and they left. I heard the car driving away, so I assumed they left to give us some privacy.” He looked down, surprised. “I have no recollection of being moved.” I softened my voice. “You were pretty emotional.”
A vow of hate CHAPTER 162
Hazel loved the spa. She sent pictures of them all enjoying the treatments, sipping champagne, even funny ones of Valerie getting a baby massage and having her toes done with the girls, holding up a glass of apple juice. They made me smile, even as my heart ached. I sent flowers to the hotel for Hazel. I added a box of her preferred chocolates. When she went back to mom and Grandpa’s, I sent a chef to make her favorite meal. A basket of bath products to indulge her love of soaking in the tub. I sent it with a stuffed bear, fluffy and cute with a card attached, reading: "Snuggle this until you’re home. I’ll take his place when you’re ready. All my love—Your Christian". One night, lying in our bed alone, I turned on some music. I shut my eyes and listened as the soothing voice of Neil Diamond played in the darkness. A song came on, and for some reason, the lyrics hit me as they never had before. “The Story of My Life” spoke of the depth of his love for the woman in his life
