One week later One week had passed and Mark had made it a habit to call and send me threatening messages every day. It started pretty tamely until he began to threaten me about killing me. I would be lying if I said I wasn’t scared. Fear rattled my entire being whenever I heard a door slam shut or when Valerie dropped something. It felt like he would come for me at any moment, and even though I knew he wouldn’t be able to find me out here, it still didn’t make the fear go away. Mark had been the love of my life once upon a time when we met three years ago, he was the perfect gentleman until he drastically changed and became abusive. Leaving him was never an option because he would find me every time and hurt me even more than he did before, he would flip out if he saw me talking to any other man, including my coworkers. But now, it was a whole different board game. I was married, and I couldn’t begin to imagine how he would react to that information. So on the fourth night, I sent h
His voice reverberated through the walls of the room, causing the entire space to vibrate.“I… I just…” I stumbled over my words, trying to provide him with an explanation. Before I knew it, his hand clamped down on my shoulder, causing my heart to trip over its own rhythm. The icy bite of his touch mirrored the storm brewing in his eyes and I jumped.“Get out.” His voice was a low growl that caused a tremor to vibrate through my bones. My brain was screaming at me to leave. I had never had someone look at me with such hatred, not even Mark, but I figured he wouldn’t hurt me, and if I wanted answers, I wouldn’t get them by constantly running away from him. One of us needed to speak up, so I stood my ground, glaring back at him.“Why?” I spat. “Tell me why Christian, why won’t you tell me anything?” I asked in frustration.“Get out!” He growled again, his voice slightly higher than before.“No Christian. We’ve been here for a week now and you’ve barely said two words to me. Is this yo
CHRISTIANI glared at the wall long after she was gone, like I could still see the stranger who was my wife in front of me. She looked fragile, like the slightest touch could break her. And oh how I wanted to break her. Pure hatred crawled up my skin as I pictured her face. That innocent looking woman had once destroyed my life and made me lose almost everything, and now she looked me straight in the eye and pretended she had no idea why I was consumed with so much rage.The barely contained violence I felt toward her had been festering for years, and I quite cheerfully could’ve strangled her in her sleep if it wasn’t for the fact that I couldn’t bring myself to do it. It was something in those golden green eyes of hers that made me think back to when everything was perfect. The sound of her laughter in the wind and how thoughtful she had once been. How her perfect frame once fitted into mine like we were made specifically for each other. We were perfect. But no, she had gone and mess
HAZELWhen I walked down to the kitchen the next morning, Christian was already there. He was dressed in a simple black tee and free blue jeans and was dutifully whisking some eggs in a bowl. He had a slight frown on his face and his eyes were focused intently on the bowl in front of him. His attention was momentarily broken as I stepped into full view, he turned to glance at me with the small frown still etched on his eyebrows.“I hope you’re hungry. You might want to grab a bite before we head out.” He said, gesturing to the feast spread out in front of him on the counter. It was the last day of our honeymoon and also our last day at the beach house. I hated to leave, already feeling the imminent sadness lurking just behind my eyes. I had come to love the beach house and the calmness and serenity it provided. But I knew we had to go back to our real life… whatever that meant for me. And I was excited to finally see my mother again.“Thanks, I’m famished.” I answered, quickly runnin
CHRISTIANWe were all strapped in the chopper an hour later. Valerie was snuggled in my arms, sleeping soundly. She had cried some more while getting her wound disinfected and covered, so that must have worn her out, and now she had a bright blue and white ‘Olaf’ band aid wrapped around her big toe. Tina was sat beside me, and Hazel in front of me. She was directly facing me, or she would have been if she even spared me a glance. She didn’t. From the moment we got on board, she’d been staring out at the window with a small frown on her face.The apology at the tip of my tongue weighed me down like lead. I felt awful for even insinuating that she had hurt my daughter. But I wasn’t in the right frame of mind, I was paranoid and wasn’t thinking clearly. I could hear Valerie’s screams the moment I opened the front door, and naturally, I panicked. And it got even worse when she ran into my arms and I saw the pure look of pain and fear in her eyes. My judgement was clouded and all I could s
I broke down in tears when I finally saw my mom again. It had been almost three weeks, and that was by far the longest I had ever gone without seeing her. She was in her own private room; just like Christian said, and she looked a bit better. Sunlight speared through the sterile white blinds , dancing on the floor with specks of dust. Her bald head was covered with a beanie, she had her eyebrows drawn in with a pencil, but her cheeks were fuller, and she wasn’t as pale as the last time I saw her.“How’re you feeling, mom?” I asked, wiping the snot from my nose with a paper towel. “A lot better,” she answered, looking at me worriedly.“You do look good,” I mused, “Christian’s team…they seem to be working harder than your other doctors.” I added in a low voice, more to myself than to her.A faint smile graced my mother’s lips causing the familiar crinkling at the corners of her eyes to appear. I tried not to be sad at the sight of them, it felt good to see her and all the lines and eve
I was hanging out with Sarah and Mia today, and my nerves were at an all time high. I knew I was married to Christian but spending a whole afternoon with his mother and sister without him there seemed like such a big leap. I couldn’t stop worrying about all the possibilities. Like what if I said the wrong thing or did the wrong thing? What if I strayed from whatever perfectly crafted script Christian had already given them? What if they didn’t like me? I wondered if they hated me the way Christian did, and what if this was just one of the many ways he planned to torture me? I spent the drive to the restaurant biting my nails and sighing at interval, and willing the red light to take longer to switch to green, much to the concern of the driver who kept throwing me worried glances from the front mirror. The driver was one more thing I was worried about; what if Sarah and Mia thought I was pretentious? I had insisted I would drive myself or catch a cab but the driver insisted that Christ
“I’m sorry,” Mia apologized as she sniffed again.“It’s okay, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have asked you about it.” I apologized instead. “No, I’m good. It’s fine.” She insisted, “just give me a second.”I nodded sympathetically and waited for her to collect herself, and when she was done, she took a small sip of her pineapple juice and continued. “It took some time for Christian to open up to us, but he eventually did. He said he had fallen in love with her, and that much was obvious to us. He said he was sure she loved him back, she had told him that herself, and he had believed her. He gave her everything, worshipped her even. I’d never heard my brother talk about a woman the way he did about her. I could see the love he felt for whoever this mystery woman was even though he was speaking with so much pain.”“You never met her?” I asked, even though I already knew the answer to that question.Mia shook her head. “We never did. He didn’t think we would accept her, and he might’ve been r
CHRISTIAN & HAZEL I chuckled as the doctor squirted the gel on Hazel’s tummy, making her squirm. Hazel always reacted to the cold. I kissed her and watched as the wand moved back and forth, and the image became clearer. “There’s your baby.” The doctor, Suzanne smiled, clicking and measuring. I held my breath as she turned on the sound, and I heard the heartbeat. The odd noise filled the room, the fast, steady sound like music to my ears. “You’re sure you want to know the sex?” “Yes!” Hazel and I exclaimed. “It’s a girl,” Suzanne announced. I laughed. “I’m surrounded. My own little harem.” Hazel’s eyes were focused on the screen. She tilted her head, looking confused. “It all looks good…” Suzanne’s voice trailed off. I frowned at the subtle change in the noise. It was faster, like an echo of itself, the strumming continuous. “Well, look who’s been hiding,” Suzanne mused and glanced over at us. She grinned and winked at me. “You did good, Christian.” She peered at the screen in
HAZELI crawled into bed with Christian, snuggled into his side, and rested my head on his chest. He groaned as he shifted.“Are you all right?” I asked, worried that I had hurt him.He nodded. “Colin warned me that getting the sensation back in my legs was going to hurt. He’s fucking right.”Between rushing after Valerie, walking for everyone, moving around the house with his walker, and sitting on Valerie’s bed as he read to her for over an hour, I knew he was exhausted. But when I asked if he was ready to sleep, he said he wasn’t. I felt the same way too. Mentally, I was still wide awake. “Do you want some pain killers?”“No. As weird as it sounds, I want to feel it. I never thought I would get to this point, so aches and all, I’m going to go with it.”I laughed softly. “You’re right, Christian. You are weird.”He dragged her up his chest,causing a little gasp of surprise to escape me.“You wanna help me forget about the aches, Hazel?” he murmured in my ear, biting my lobe. “Make m
The room around me buzzed with activity. Voices, people moving, talking to me, trying to get my attention. I held my breath, scared that if I even so much as breathed, I would miss something important.My focus was on one thing. The doctor examining Valerie. I had insisted, and finally Hazel relented, seeing how upset I was about her. My wife glanced up, smiling as she lifted Valerie to her shoulder. She tilted her chin, letting me know everything was okay. A fact that she was certain of, but I needed to be sure. She handed Valerie over to me and escorted the doctor out and I relaxed, pressing a kiss to my daughter’s head. She looked up, wrinkling her nose.“Hi, Daddy.” “Hey, baby girl.” She patted my hand. “Boo-boo better,” she cooed. “Good.” “Yeah, Daddy feels better.” I brushed a curl off her face. “How did you know?” She pushed on my cheek with her tiny finger. “You Daddy again. You smile.” I dropped my head, pressing kisses all over her sweet little fa
I had never tried to comfort a person still caught between being a young man and a grown-ass adult. I had never reached out and been the role model.It was another lesson I was learning.Dennis was emotional. Filled with apologies. Begging for forgiveness. Once I broke through his stuttering words and barely held-back sobs, I set him straight.“What happened was not your fault. You didn’t put me in this wheelchair, Dennis. None of it is your doing. You need to stop blaming yourself.”“I can’t.”“You can. Get some help. I’ll ask Randy to take you on. He is an amazing person to help you sort things out and get your head straight.” I barked out a laugh. “If he can handle my shit, he can help you.”“But he’s here.”“Yes,” I agreed. “Which is where you need to be. You have a life waiting here for you, Dennis. A job you’re good at. Friends. Family.” I huffed out a breath. “Don’t let that day define you. Move past it.”“The guilt,” he said quietly. “It holds me hostage. That I’m walking arou
I grabbed her hips, guiding her. Pushing her up and pulling her back down. She sobbed my name, her back arching as her release washed through her. I watched as she lost herself in the moment. I had forgotten how beautiful she was in her release. The way her entire frame shuddered. How she bit her lip and lowered her chin as if sinking into the feeling. The breathiness of my name falling from her lips. And how it felt when her muscles fluttered, tightened around me, taking all I had—giving me so much more.My body strained, the urge to thrust and grind against her eclipsing everything else. An orgasm hit me, obliterating everything in its path. I saw stars, the ecstasy was so great. I opened my mouth in a soundless scream, and somewhere, deep inside, I felt a flex, the pinching of muscles not used for so long now gripping, then vanishing as fast as they had engaged. A long, agonized sound escaped as my entire being surrendered. The pain, the pleasure, the sweet torture of it all.Hazel
CHRISTIANThe taste and feel of my wife chased away the last lingering remnants of my dream. Hazel wasn’t walking away. She was right here, with me, in my arms.Right where she should be.I kissed her deeply, seeking out her tongue with mine, stroking hard and deep. Reclaiming her mouth. Reclaiming her. I yanked her tight to my chest, pulling off the towel she had draped around her body. I pushed down the blanket that covered me, needing to feel her. I dragged her over my lap, groaning at the feel of her weight pressing down on me. Still kissing her, I slid my hands over her silken thighs, parting them and settling her so she straddled me.She pulled back, gasping. “Is this okay?”“Fucking yes, it’s okay.” I pressed my mouth to her neck, licking up the damp, elegant column of her throat. “It’s fucking perfect.” I murmured. “You’re so perfect for me, Haze. And I’m such an idiot. Everything that has happened, it only made you stronger, but not me… I got weak.”She grabbed my face, holdi
Valerie’s feet kicked in excitement as we turned down the street. I smiled at her in the rearview mirror.“Daddy waiting!” she crowed.I felt both excitement and trepidation as I pulled into the driveway. I wanted to come home so much, yet I was afraid of what was going to happen when we were alone. Would Christian continue moving forward, or would our presence once again cause him to slide backward? Once he got over the initial pleasure of seeing his child, would he again find her, and me, more of a bother? I wasn’t sure I could take it if that happened. I couldn’t watch the man I love disappear into the shell he used to be. But a small voice in my head kept telling me he wouldn’t. The gifts, the notes, the calls, and texts from him were all sent by the man I loved. He had made sure I knew how sorry he was feeling and how hard he was working to come back to us. He even opened up and expressed his worries, finally letting me know the depth of his fears. Finally letting me understand w
HAZELChristian lifted his face from my neck, his eyes red, his cheeks damp. I had never witnessed him break down that way. The rare occasions when he cried, he still held himself in check, his pride unable to allow even me to fully see his pain. I grabbed the tissues Maddox had dropped beside us and wiped Christian’s face, cupping his cheeks. “Hey,” I whispered, looking up at him from where I crouched between his legs. “I guess I lost the last piece of my man card with that display,” he mumbled.“I doubt it. Maddox was openly weeping before you even finished walking, and Mia had to leave the room.” He frowned in confusion. “Why?” “They’re as proud of you as I am, Christian.” “Where are they?” “Maddox made sure you were back in your chair, and they left. I heard the car driving away, so I assumed they left to give us some privacy.” He looked down, surprised. “I have no recollection of being moved.” I softened my voice. “You were pretty emotional.”
Hazel loved the spa. She sent pictures of them all enjoying the treatments, sipping champagne, even funny ones of Valerie getting a baby massage and having her toes done with the girls, holding up a glass of apple juice. They made me smile, even as my heart ached. I sent flowers to the hotel for Hazel. I added a box of her preferred chocolates. When she went back to mom and Grandpa’s, I sent a chef to make her favorite meal. A basket of bath products to indulge her love of soaking in the tub. I sent it with a stuffed bear, fluffy and cute with a card attached, reading: "Snuggle this until you’re home. I’ll take his place when you’re ready. All my love—Your Christian". One night, lying in our bed alone, I turned on some music. I shut my eyes and listened as the soothing voice of Neil Diamond played in the darkness. A song came on, and for some reason, the lyrics hit me as they never had before. “The Story of My Life” spoke of the depth of his love for the woman in his life