“Ok then start.” I declare. She turns to look at dad who is refusing to make eye contact with me. “Now please!”
Cameron's hand runs the length of my forearm, finding my hand and entwining his finger with mine. I shy away, gently untangling our fingers and pulling my hands to my chest. I know he only wants to support me, but right now I’m feeling lost in my mind, and I need to be there alone to process everything.
He doesn’t give up as he takes a step closer to me; he doesn’t reach out to touch me but I can feel his presence and it helps calm me. Looking over my shoulder at him, he offers me a sweet smile of encouragement, and I match him with my own sad smile of thanks.
Mom’s sigh captures my attention, and I look to see her focusing on the tiled floor, her face full of guilt. A sarcastic laugh leaves my throat while I wait for an answer that seems to be stuck between us all. The tension is thick, almost suffocating, and I’m
“I saw it.” Noah rushes out “Witnessed him hurting you. I tried to protect you, threatened him, and told him if he didn’t stop I would hurt him. But I was a kid, Faith. I didn’t know what to do. Who would believe me when you always appeared so perfect and happy all the time?” The only thing I can do is stand and stare. There is no one emotion that can embody my feeling of just complete emotional defeat. All these lies of omission eventually added up. Building until it grew so big it all just explodes at one momentous occasion in my kitchen. “I-I told him he wasn’t a man. That he was a lowlife for hitting a child and that no wonder your mom was sleeping with my dad. Because at least he was a real man.” Noah is talking fast, hands flying about in a frenzied state, trying to drive his explanations home. I close my eyes tight, shaking my head, willing my mind to wrap itself around what the hell is happening. Did my mom really ha
*Cameron POV* The entire house is illuminated when I walk through the front door. I hesitate for a moment, looking around to see if I can find the butler who normally greets me, but he is out of sight. Walking cautiously, I enter the living room and I am surprised to find my dad, my mother, and Angela sitting on the couch, waiting in a deafening silence. In an instant, all happy feelings I had when I walked in vanish and my stomach falls. Something has to be horribly wrong if the three of them are sitting in the same room. My father ignores my presence, sitting emotionless, facing forward while both my mother and Angela smirk at me in an unsettling manner. A door opens and closes behind me and I see Frank, Angela’s rat of a father, walkout from the bathroom. He smiles devilishly and claps his hands together in excitement. “Ah! And the daddy is here finally” My eyes fly open as I turn to everyone else, looking for an explanation. Angela si
*Faith POV* It’s funny how much your life and what you think you know about it can change overnight. One minute you’re laughing and happy, the next your mom is a backstabbing liar and your best friend confesses he is the reason you were almost beaten to death. Just a typical day for your average teenage girl. I mean, what else could go wrong. At Least I still have Cameron. A smile crosses my face at the thought of him and I nibble my bottom lip, trying not to giggle at the memory of last night. ‘Keep on falling for me, Faith. I’ve already fallen and I’m waiting anxiously for you down here.’ Giggling, I stir my hot cocoa and spin around, sporting a goofy grin. “Faith?” “Ah! Hot hot! Shoot. Noah! Why are you sneaking up on me” I look up startled, spilling slightly all over my hand and down my leg. “I’ve been waiting down here since Mia let me in.” he says “How lon
It’s not normal for me to put a lot of effort into my appearance, yet here I am standing in front of the mirror in the locker room making sure my hair looks ok and swiping on some mascara. Cameron fell for me in my natural state but I want to improve upon that, call it love or fear I don’t care, either way, I’m looking pretty good if I do say so myself. I flatten my shirt in a nervous, excited state and nod to my reflection. Here we go. I’m going to be bold. I’m going to walk right up to him and see how he responds. There’s a little extra pep in my step this morning as I walk out of the locker room expecting to see Cameron waiting for me like he always did when we were just friends. The lack of his presence instantly mars my good mood, and for a moment, an inkling of doubt creeps in. Shake it off, Faith. He is probably just running late, it’s fine. I readjust my mindset. I will see him when I see him. It’s fine, everything will be fine. Gosh, why
Angela saunters over to our table, all eyes following her as she cuddles with her oversized stuffed bear. The small square box doesn’t go unnoticed by me as it comes to a stop right in front of me. For a moment Angela stands in silence, waiting for me to start the conversation. I have no words, and I have no idea what she is expecting from me. I could throw a fit, cry, get angry and attack her, but if what she says is true. If by some crazy miracle she is pregnant with Cameron’s baby, I would never do anything to injure it. Even if its mother is the spawn of a demon. “Look at how sweet he is.” She says, referring to Cameron as she opens the little box revealing a thin gold bracelet with a small flat gold piece with an engraving. “It says ‘Have Faith in me.’ it’s his promise to always come through for us.” she focuses her eyes on mine, just waiting for me to break. I can’t break. I won’t, not here and not because of her. “I almost fo
“Toss it here,” Mia says, opening her mouth in anticipation of the small chocolatey morsel I lob through the air. It bounces off her forehead, promptly landing on the comforter of the bed. Laughing, I grab a handful of popcorn and toss it at her. “You suck!” she chuckles as she searches through the crumpled blanket for the chocolate, and finding it, she gleefully pops it in her mouth, munching. We have spent the last 4 hours laughing nonstop. Reminiscing about our old sleepover day, talking about our celebrity crushes, and arguing over which books are better. My mind still wanders to Cameron now and then, but the second I look like I might turn down a rabbit hole, Mia cracks a joke or throws something at me. “Ok. I’m getting hungry for like, actual food.” Mia announces. Standing up she walks over to my desk and grabs 3 takeout menus. “Pizza?” I ask. “Please! We are
The nightmares came back. Maybe it’s just the stress of everything, heck it could be even the fever I’m running, but either way I’m sweaty, achy, and my brain hurts. I roll to my side, breathing fast. This dream had been worse than normal. No longer are they relived memories. Each night, they morph further from real life and dive deeper into my subconscious fears. Tonight had been about Cameron, and it has been the scariest one yet. Every time I close my eyes, I see his limp, lifeless body staring at me from the dream. My heart is racing at what happens next. I whimper as I quickly sit up from my bed. Pulling my comforter closer to my body. The tears come as they always seem to these days and I sob into my blanket. I know it’s just a dream, and that Cameron broke my heart, but seeing him like that has been far worse than the pain of him not wanting me. My door slowly creeks open and I see a head pop in, my heart pounds as I find my voice.
I just stare at her, blinking in confusion. Why on earth is Cameron’s grandma coming to my house? She looks at me grinning as if she knows me on a more personal level than she does. “Uh, hello” I offer, feeling awkward. Noah nudges me and I snap out of my stare. “Oh sorry, um. Did you want to come in?” “Oh, that sounds lovely dear.” she hobbles through the door, patting my arm as she walks past me, leaving the smell of cinnamon and honey in her wake. She looks and smells how I imagine a loving kind grandma would. I hadn’t been lucky enough to grow up with grandparents. She turns into the living room, humming a cheerful tune along the way. Noah and I follow, stunned. She heads for the chair while Noah and I proceed to the couch, waiting with bated breath for her to explain her random visit in the middle of what would be a school day. “Would you be a dear and get me something cold to drink?” She says with a sweet smile, turn
Warm water trickles down my leg as another contraction squeezes my insides in an invisible vice grip. I groan loudly, clutching the counter and leaning over. I hear a clattering beside me and I look over, seeing Izzy holding his little stuffed puppy, his eyes wide in fear. He looks so much like Cameron right now. I smile through the pain as he tentatively steps closer. “Mommy, you peeped your pants on the floor?” he asks in his sweet 3-year-old voice and I chuckle. “No baby, mommy is going to have a baby. Do you know where mommy’s phone is?” I ask, hoping he might remember where I had it last since I never can recall these days where I put anything. “Um. Yep!” His tiny little legs work hard as he runs out of the bathroom and bangs around in the living room. “Iz. Izzy?” I call to him. “Yeah, mommy?” “Did you find it?” He walks into the bathroom, holding my phone, and I nearly fall over with rel
4 years later, *Cameron POV* I wipe my sweaty palms on my khaki pants. Faith’s name rings through the speaker system and a single graduation cap rises from the sea of green as she makes her way to the stage. Noah and I jump to our feet, screaming and cheering for her. It doesn’t matter to me that every man and woman graduating is wearing the same robes and hat. My Faith looks a thousand times better than all of them. Her auburn hair shimmers in the sunlight as she climbs the stairs, a stunning, excited smile on her perfect face. There is no doubt in my mind that this woman is the one I want to spend the rest of my life with. She shakes the dean’s hand and pauses for a minute while photos are snapped. Noah and I take our seats and he leans over to me anxiously. “Ok, dude. I’m freaking out for you,” he whispers. I shoot him a scowl, and he just chuckles and shrugs. Noah and I quickly became good friends and then, as fate wou
*4 months later* * Faith POV* “Come on, Faith!” Cameron shouts “Run faster!” Mia screeches “Yeah, pretend Mia is coming for you!” Noah adds. I can hear an oof from him, which makes me smile, knowing Mia probably whacked him. I try to tune them out as I run by them on my last lap, hurtling towards the finish line. I need to hone in and focus. Currently, I’m sitting in second place with Mariah right on my heels. My heart is racing with the sheer adrenaline of the race and my legs are exhausted. They feel like jello but I push harder, faster than I have ever gone before. Little by little, I gain on the girl in front of me. Each step vibrates through my leg, pulling me closer to my last victory.
“Do you guys think it's stupid of me to keep doing family therapy?” I ask Mia, Noah, and Cameron. They all look around at each other, waiting for someone to talk. “That’s up to you,” Mia says. “If you think you need to do it to get the closure you need, then I think it’s exactly what you need,” “You have to remember that you are un-hashing a lot of heavy stuff. You are reopening old wounds so that you can heal appropriately. It’s going to be tough in the beginning.” Noah adds. “You said Uncle John is back to actually showing up, right?” Mia asks, and I nod. I forgot how long it’s been since we’ve sat and had a serious conversation about it all since she spends most of her time with Noah and I’ve been busy with Cameron. “Did he give a good excuse?” Cameron asks. “He went back to visit his AA mentor and talk about everything. His mentor helped him find a therapist here and Dad claims he is going daily now.” I say, sh
*Faith POV* The car idles as I sit and stare at the garage door. A stray tear slowly weaves its way down my cheek as I swipe at it furiously. I hate feeling like this. My therapist keeps telling me that healing is a process and even when I ‘heal’ I’ll still have moments when I’m not ok. And today I’m not ok. I feel emotionally drained, and all I want to do is sleep for days. I hate these scars that make me feel so ugly and imperfect. I have done so well compartmentalizing all my shit so I could help and be there for Cameron. And it felt amazing to do that. I regret nothing. But now I’m being bowled over by my own insecurities and internal pain and I feel so alone. I have people I can call who would be here in a moment for me. But I feel terrible for bothering them with my sob stories. Mia called me the moment I left Cameron his food to ask if we could reschedule our girls-only night. Of course, I said yes. She is in love and happy
The arcade is bustling and the sounds of the games surrounding me remind me just how alive and vibrant this place is. I sit at one of the tables towards the back with a now cold pepperoni pizza as I watch everyone move around me. A young girl is crying because she lost the game while her older brother chuckles and tries to console her. The boy to the left sits at the table drinking his soda while being engrossed in some random comic strip in his hand. I look to the center of the store and I swear I can see her. Standing there in front of a young boy who looks just like me. I blink back the burn of tears, letting the memory play itself out before me as if it’s a movie of my life. “Oh, my sweet little Izzy. I promise the machines are clean,” she assures me with a sweet smile. & year old me just smiles in excitement. “Shouldn’t I be at school?” ten-year-old me asked her. “Not today. Today we are celebrating yo
“How’s Edith?” Noah asks as he walks up to Faith and me. It’s been a few days since her stroke and there still isn’t much change. Though she woke up, she still looks like she is not completely there and it’s slowly killing me inside. “She’s hanging on.” Faith answers for me, entwining our hands and offering me a supportive smile. “Well, that’s good to hear,” Noah says, trying to make conversation as he sits at our lunch table. I like Noah. He seems to be a genuine guy who thinks the world of his two best friends. Who doesn’t respect a guy who can put up with two polar opposite girls at the same time? Ever since the time we all hung out in Faith and Mia’s living room, he and I have had a new mutual respect for one another. One that I am certain will grow into a wonderful friendship. Which is refreshing since I really only have Faith. Being the popular guy comes with a lot of things, one of them being lots of acquaintances but no
Each blip on the monitor is a reminder that she is still here, still fighting. It’s been a whirlwind since we arrived. Flurries of medical personnel bustle in and out checking vitals, changing liquids, offering water for Faith, dad, and me. She had a stroke, that’s what the doctor said. He said extreme stress brought it on. I rode here with her in the ambulance. I just knew she would wake up if I left her alone for even a minute, and I couldn’t miss that. Yet she still hasn’t opened her eyes or even squeezed my hand. I know she will recover. It doesn’t take a medical genius to know that she is just too amazing to leave me. She would never do that to me. Faith walks up behind me and snakes her hands over my shoulder, hugging my back and giving me a kiss on the cheek. “Hey, how are you doing?” she whispers. The heat of her breath tickles my ears as I turn slightly to see her face. She looks exhausted and stunning. How
“Well then, I will find a job and buy us a double-wide to live in,” Dad smirks. I choke on my laugh when her face falls, and she grows pale. “Fine. I’ll sign them and go to John.” She says. It’s blatantly obvious that she is trying to get a rise out of my father, but the only reaction she gets is a bark of laughter from Faith. “My dad?” Faith is trying to contain her laughter while my mother grows red with anger. “I’m sorry. You think he wants you after you tried to destroy him by getting him addicted to drugs?” “Woah, what!” I look at my mom as she stands looking guilty. Now it’s my Father’s turn to turn red with anger. “You gave him drugs?” My father says, his voice rising as it echoes through the house.”