CHAPTER 3

Raquel’s POV

I kept myself busy editing and proofreading my book. I spent the entire week locked up in my apartment. After Sacha was gone in my life I changed. I preferred being alone and just minding my own business. When he and I were together we were always out. He was a DJ and his lifestyle made him have such a busy nightlife. I remembered all the parties that we got to go to and how I get so wasted as hell.

I can still remember how it all changed. How our relationship changed from me being someone who run errands for him to someone he was interested in. Or perhaps he was just having fun with me. Maybe he was just using me at that time but it doesn’t change the fact that I fell in love with him. I loved him more than anything or anyone in the world. My entire universe revolved around him. He was all that mattered.

Sacha is my first love. I love him and I honestly don’t know if I hate him or still love him until now. I wish I can get over these stupid feelings I have for him but I am stuck in this stupid situation. So how did things change between us?

“Hey kid, are you planning to work for the summer at that diner full time?”

“You do realize I have a name and why the hell do you keep calling me kid?” I replied, annoyed at him.

“I love the way you look when you're pissed.” He smiled at me and went back to watching TV.

“You are so stupid. I can’t believe that I have been doing errands for you in the past three months and you still call me kid. If you don’t stop calling me that, I will totally stop helping you out.”

“You love being here. I give you more than you can earn working part time at the diner.” He chuckled. “I am pretty sure you just love hanging around with me.”

“Yeah, right?!” I rolled my eyes at him. “I just needed the extra cash. You know what kind of stuff my mom and I do to make ends meet.”

“I’m thinking of moving on to another place. I like it here but I need a more comfortable space. I don’t think that it’s good for me to be hanging around with you all the time.” He stated seriously.

“Why? What did I do?” I sat next to him.

“Well, you are a kid and you should just be focusing on your studies, hanging around kids your age. I don’t know. I just need someone who is at a legal drinking age to hang out with. You can’t even buy liquor for me. I had to buy my own booze which I shouldn’t be doing.”

“What, you are just being stupid. I can get you booze anytime you want. I can handle that. Everyone in town knows me and they know that it’s for you. You just don’t let me.” I replied. “Are you serious about moving out though?”

“Yeah. Listen kid it’s been nice hanging out with you and your mom. The people at this apartment are also nice but I have to move on and perhaps find a new adventure. I stayed here to lie low but now I have to get back to the real world.”

“How can you be so selfish? You can’t just come in to our lives and leave whenever you want. Why would you do this to me? I am used to having you around and you have been really helpful to us.” I yelled before slapping him.

“Kid, relax. I didn’t realize that you have separation anxiety.” He laughed.

“Stop calling me kid.” I yelled louder. “I am turning 18 in a few weeks. I am not a kid. I am a fucking adult and I like you.”

“I know that you like me but kid there is no way that things would work out between us. I should have not been spending time with you. I can see the way you look at me. I know you have a huge crush on me but seriously kid…” I straddled him and he glared at me. “Get off me.”

“Tell me that I don’t turn you on.” I place my hands on his shoulders and move closer to his face. “Tell me, I am not.”

“Seriously, kid. Get the fuck off me.” He raised his hands in surrender and rested his back on the sofa. “Please, if someone comes in here and see us it might give them the wrong impression.”

“Nobody comes here to your place at this time. It’s the reason this is the time you ask me to clean your place.” I run my hands on his chest.

“Kid, get off me.” He stated seriously. “You are not being funny.”

“I am not trying to be funny. I like you and you are right. I have a crush on you.” I admitted. “I think I am in love with you.”

“You are being ridiculous.” He grabbed my hands and stared at me.

“I mean it. I love you.”

I kissed him and he was caught off guard. He just let me kiss him. I stared into his eyes and it was just blank. I can’t read his expression and it scared the shit out of me. I got off him and started biting my finger nails.

“I should go.” I stated after standing for several minute with complete silence.

“You should.” He replied as he got up.

“Should I?” I smiled at him shyly.

“I think so.” He opened the door for me.

“Do you really want me to go?” I smiled at him sadly.

“It doesn’t matter what I want. I don’t want any problems between us.”

“Me too.” I made my way to the door and looked at him sadly.

“Can you please not tell you mom about this?” He grabbed my arm.

“I would never. How the hell do I tell her that I kissed you and I admitted that I love you? She would totally freak out and apologize to you.”

“Kid, I just don’t want your mom to think that I’m a predator trying to take advantage of you.”

“I have my own mind and I can decide for myself. My mom knows that I am not someone that can be easily manipulated by anyone. Not even by a handsome guy like you.” I blurted out.

“Why are you making this so difficult?” He run his fingers on my cheeks.

“I just want you to see me for who I am.” I close the door and stare him in the eyes. “Are you really not attracted to me? Am I ugly?”

“You are fucking beautiful. I just don’t want things to change between us. It’s better this way. I don’t want any complications.”

“So you are saying that you can’t like me back.” I was really sad that I started crying. “I really like you.”

“Don’t cry. Stop trying to figure out what I mean.”

“I just need you to be honest with me and I promise I’ll stay out of your way. You don’t have to see me again.”