I don't like him.
Everything about this fucking guy—the way he talks, the way he walks, the way he looks at you when you speak. I don't like it.
Alejandro Quintanilla. He's Salvador Quintanilla's nephew, so I'd be an idiot to try and fuck up this early in the game by giving him a rude welcome.
"I just wanted to say congratulations on behalf of the Quintanilla family," Alejandro says to me. "We're looking forward to a prosperous future ahead for us and the Harrisons."
Bullshit. His stare is full of malicious intent. His grip on my hand tightens, and I let go without giving him a sour look.
"Well let's hope so," I reply. My eyes shift to Leslie briefly; Leslie just watches our encounter without a definitive expression.
Alejandro laughs at my reply; his mouth barely forms a smile. "Don't be so unsure of yourself. You'll soon realize the empire than two men of power can create together, Sebastian."
It's clear that I'm only a puppet to this man and his family. Whatever my father told him before we met has clearly given him the impression that I would be an easy tool as a CEO. My gut also tells me that my spot in Harrison Inc. was already predetermined; who is the Board to defy my father?
Who is anyone to defy my father?
I glance at Leslie again, and my mind tells me that I should have expected this—her gawking at Alejandro like he's some Colombian god. But one thing I didn't expect was for him to cheer her on with his eyes—narrowing in on her and smirking as if he likes her attention. Like her normal self, she scurries away when she can't handle it anymore. Alejandro continues to stare at her distancing figure.
Keep your cool, Sebastian. Don't do anything stupid.
"One thing I love about your country is your women," he tells me, eyes still in her direction.
I nod, clenching my jaw as tightly as I can. "I agree."
"You've had your escapades, I'm certain. Quite a lot of them."
"I have. Though I'm not accustomed to that lifestyle anymore."
This prick is testing me now, waiting for me to break. My father told Alejandro too much; he knows Leslie is a weak point in all of this. Fuck, fuck, fuck...
"Don't be so modest," he says, amused. "If I had women like that around every corner I don't think I'd be able to control myself. You two have known each other for short while, yes?"
"About a month."
"And you two haven't—"
"No," I say before his sentence even finishes. He knows he's hit a nerve and smiles the widest smile I've seen since we first shook hands, and it isn't much of a smile at that.
"I'm surprised," His voice turns into a mumble, though I'm sure he intended on me hearing him. "She's beautiful—"
"Yes, I know that. Is there a point to this?" I ask him, my tone more aggressive than I had initially wished.
Alejandro raises a brow at me; he's got me, and I let it happen. "I didn't mean anything by it. Just trying to start conversation; our first introduction didn't go well, after all."
"What are you talking about?"
And that's when I realize that I've seen this man before—the Hillcrest country club where I confronted my father about blackmailing Leslie. He was sitting at the table with Salvador when I walked up to them. Shit, how could I have forgotten?
Alejandro takes my silence as fact that I know what he's talking about. "I knew something was up with you when you didn't even look our way when my uncle and I tried to be civil. And then disrespecting your father in front of an entire room? I won't lie, it made me think of you in a...how do you say...'bad light?'"
"That was a personal issue between my father and I," I respond, failing at hiding my growing animosity towards this asshole.
"Oh, I know. But your company and my family's company are going to be close, I predict." He inches closer to me—close enough for me to see the scar on his eyebrow and the evil in his eyes. "And there's nothing I hate more than arrogance and pride, Sebastian."
It's been a while since someone has made me angry enough to lose words. Even Leslie hasn't pushed me to that point. Knowing the importance of not severing ties with this man's family, I suppress my newfound hatred and accept his testament with nothing in reply. Fuck, my hands tremble just wanting to wring around his neck.
"Congratulations," he says one last time before stepping away to join his posse or whatever the hell that group he's with is. The amount of anger I feel is indescribable. Who the fuck does he think he is, threatening me like that?
Once he leaves, my father approaches me. As if I couldn't become angrier.
"You're the last person I want to talk to right now," I tell him, trying to walk away before he grabs my arm and pulls me back. His smile is forced, like he doesn't want the press to see the tension between us.
"I see you've met Alejandro," he says quietly.
"Yes, I have."
"It didn't look like it went well."
"It didn't. And I don't understand why you're here talking to me about this when you should be conducting some other way to ruin more people's lives."
My father laughs. Genuinely, at that.
"You're funny, Sebastian. But all jokes aside, I advise you to keep relations with the Quintanilla family strong and prosperous—"
"It shouldn't matter what my relations with them are. You aren't CEO anymore, dad."
"True, but Salvador and I are still friends, and his family is a huge benefactor for Harrison Incorporated. If our partnership doesn't go well, I'm not confident in the outcome."
I see Board members watching my dad and I converse. But the plastic smile on my father's face makes me believe that he knows that already.
"How I handle the Quintanilla family shouldn't be your concern."
"But it is my concern." That plastic smile I talked about? Gone. "See, there's a balance to everything, Sebastian."
He asks his assistant, the petite blonde whose name I think is Lucinda, to come and give him a pen. Once she does, one look is all my father gives her; she quickly walks the other way.
"Let's say this pen is 'balance'," he begins, holding the mahogany-polished pen horizontally between us. "This represents everything that happens to this corporation and how we stand. Now, think of this ring as you, and the other ring as a partner with Harrison Inc."
He pulls off one diamond encrusted ring and another abyss-black ring off his fingers and places each one through either end. They dangle slightly towards the middle before coming to a halt.
"Equilibrium," he explains, holding both ends of the pen steady. "Both forces are at equilibrium because they understand each other. They cooperate with each other and make sure that both of their needs are met. They are at one with balance. But imagine if this ring wanted to force another direction against balance."
He tilts the pen, the diamond encrusted ring sliding away while the black ring moving unwillingly towards it.
"Everything would start to crumble. Relationships, partnerships, financial stability. All of it would succumb to the dying need to move against balance. And eventually—"
He tilts the pen so both rings fall off into his pale palm.
"They both fall. Do you understand why it is important to obey balance and order?"
"Alejandro and his family have nothing to do with how I run Harrison Inc.—"
"I would hate to see ones you care about suffer for any careless actions you wish to ensue against balance," my father suddenly says coldly. "If you were smart, you would nod and agree, right?"
"After all the shit you've done to me, you expect me to bow down and become Alejandro's bitch?"
"Don't be so crass!"
"Why shouldn't I? After everything you've done I should have the right."
"What right?" he laughs. "You have more rights than most people and yet you're so unappreciative of everything I have done for you. If anything, I'm trying to protect you."
"From what!?" I hiss at him. "What could you possibly be protecting me from that you let hurt me before?"
"There's much you don't understand. I'm trying to make it easier for you: respect equilibrium, and you should be fine."
"And if I don't?"
"I already told you." He smiles for a moment, looks at Leslie talking to a reporter, then looks back at me. "I see relations between you two are still rough? It's for the best, I'm sure. Her intentions were clouded and ingenuine, I told you that."
"Stop trying to change the subject," I reply, though it's really me who's trying to change the subject of her; he isn't done with Leslie, I'm sure.
"But it's obvious you still care for her."
"And I can say the same for you."
I've hit a nerve with him. He's still in denial about how I exposed him for being obsessed with Leslie.
His response isn't instant, but it's what I expected. "Like I said, it's for the best."
When his hand grips mine, I feel his rings land into my palm before he lets go. I look down at them, seeing my reflection against the stones and jewels, but quickly look away.
Frankly, I don't know where to look anymore.
**
**By Friday, I attended my interview and was offered an office space at Rodham PR. I should be happy. Having my own office space to put my shit in and being somewhere 'official' is something to hoot and holler about. But lately, my spirits haven't been easily lifted. I watched the interview Sebastian did last week this afternoon. And after that broadcast, the media was ballistic about Garrett apparently giving the journal away. Garrett's representatives have been quiet, and that's what scares me. But to think, if I hadn't quit, I most likely would have been putting out a statement on Garrett's behalf. Funny how life works. Paul and Beth came over an hour after the airing of the interview. They claimed that it was just a surprise visit, but I know that they're worried about me be
**I had to stay behind to give some information to the police about the accident or potential hit and run. It was embarrassing to converse with the officer while I was drunk, but apparently they care less than I thought they would."Do you need an officer to take you home?" he asked me when he had acquired all the information he needed.I shook my head, shifting my weight from one heel to the other to distribute the pain in my feet evenly. "No, I called an uber."The officer nodded before entering his patrol car. The uber I called was waiting by the corner, and Beth was already on her way over there with Patty while Paul waited for me to finish."You alright?" he asked me when I met him on the sidewalk.
I stay for the promotional tour Sebastian is giving Han Sin. As if Han Sin's representatives have never visited Harrison Inc. before, but it's good publicity to show that Sebastian is somewhat invested in the company."Just got an email from GQ," Sarah whispers to me, eyes on Sebastian in front of the cameras and lights."Do they want Sebastian in an article?"She shakes her head. "No. Front cover.""Have them email me—""Already done."I can tell Sarah's still upset about the Alejandro thing that happened a couple of minutes ago, but in all honesty, there wasn't much I could have done to have prevented that situation. The Qui
**It takes all my willpower to get out of my car. Parked outside of my mother's house, I'm forced to believe that the moment I set foot on the porch, I'll no longer be safe. But still, I know I should do this. The street my mother lives on is quiet and wealthy. Not as wealthy as Sebastian's neighborhood, of course, but wealthier than where we lived when I was younger—the Ciglianos are successful restaurateurs in Italy, but it took a while for that success to make its way to my mom here in the states. I saw it after my parents divorced but wanted nothing to do with it, especially after I left for college. "I wasn't going to pay for your schooling anyway," my mother told me the moment I declined any financial assistance for my education from her. My heels soun
**My mother feels powerful, and it's dangerous.Sebastian and I have a lot in common, believe it or not. Maybe that's why we're at such an impasse—we're more alike than we'd openly admit. But one thing that we have in common that overpowers all is the undoubtable evil in our parents.As I become older, the reason for my mother's animosity towards me makes me curious beyond compare. When I was younger, I just assumed it was something I did; I assumed that I was just unlikeable in her eyes. But now I see that it's more than that. She's willing to blackmail me to keep me away from her schemes, and to make sure I'm miserable. And the only reason I have is because of a woman, and her involvement in my mother's life; my mother went as far as to tango with Garrett Harrison to ruin me.
** I drive over to Harrison Inc. I didn't call ahead to ask if Sebastian was in, but if he isn't, I'm willing to wait for him in his newluxuriouswaiting room until he decides to stroll in, wearing his stupid designer suit with his stupid ensemble that hangs on to his stupid words and demands. As I'm speed walking over to Harrison Inc., I can't help but read over that damn article repeatedly in my mind. Him and I both know the only reason she's in the picture is because of my backstabbing mom and his slut-of-an-ex-girlfriend, Felicity Felix. Felicity-Fucking-Felix! That blonde conniving bitch! I walk into the main lobby, meanuvering my way through the endless bodies walking around. The intercom above the giant glass ceilings talks about the glory and
** I walked back to my office building, but instead of entering my office, I entered my car and drove home. A myriad of thoughts was flooding my mind as I sped down the busy Downtown LA streets, but more importantly, I felt more liberated than I had felt before. Those words I said right in Sebastian's face marked the first time I actively stood up for myself without regretting it after. But not only did I not regret it, I couldn't stop. I was smiling during this drive, like a cage I was stuck in had finally been opened. The threat of my mother and Sebastian's vengeance by pursuing Claire somehow managed to spark an opposite reaction in me. So now that I am home, I have left my phone in the living room on vibrate. The only sound comes from Pedro's collar as he runs around my feet
**It's quite apparent to everyone in the room that I'm thoroughly enjoying this.I shouldn't be enjoying the fact that the mere sight of me is making Sebastian upset. But I am. Usually, I'm the one left speechless at the sight of Sebastian's godly physic and distracting good looks. But it feels quite good to have the roles reversed for a change, now does it?"I'll be right back," I tell the entirety of the office before leaving to see about acquiring a few more chairs. Darcy is at my side when we begin the hunt."Who is that?" she asks me inquisitively, her voice small as if whoever she's asking about is listening behind us.I assume she's talking about the ne
**I thought my victory over Claire Finch would last as long as the buzz around her scandal. Apparently, I was wrong.I'm unsure if it's because the heat has lasted longer in the press, at a constant peak, then expected—two weeks. It's all everyone is talking about. It's all everyonehasbeen talking about since Claire came out with the statement.In my office, I watch an interview that Claire did yesterday with Diane Sawyer about her infidelity scandal. I read the comments more than anything; they're less than sympathetic. I force myself to see the immense positivity in this, but with Sebastian not here to share this victory with me, it's almost useless in a selfish sense. A professional sense? It's an instant boost in my career. A publicist's ace in the
I should tell someone. I should do something. I should say something to someone I trust, but admittedly, I'm too scared. The journal, dark and tattered but still intact, rest on my lap as I sit in my car, too scared to put the keys into the ignition in fear of the car blowing up with me inside it. I've called Isaac and asked him to pick me up from the restaurant due to "car trouble;" I didn't mention the journal to him. He would only tell me that I should have listened to him about moving to Venetia. He would also tell me that this is certainly Garrett's doing—everything I already know being told to me over again. I don't open the journal again. I feel like I'm invading Sebastian's memories if I were to read it again; he's let go of the drama that's surrounded it. Now that it's back, all of its baggage comes with it. I should burn it. Bury it. Hide it somewhere. Part of me wants to
** I tap my fingers impatiently against the table top, watching restaurant goers enjoy their mimosas and laugh over their egg toasts. Brunch seemed like a reasonable time for Claire to meet me. Not for dinner or lunch or even breakfast, but brunch. That was the only time she'd agree to. She also set the place for our meeting—The Edenboroughin Beverly Hills. Very upscale eatery; money is dripping from every guest in the room. Claire, who had me make the reservation, texted me and told me she would be a little late the moment I walked into the restaurant. At that point, I knew she was messing with me. But I don't mind indulging in her childish antics. The fact that she agreed to meet with me is progress enough. "Can I get you started with something to drink, miss Ki
**JANUARYFor the last thirty days, I've been dealing with the most unbearable anxiety.Not because of everything that happened in December—I have been seeing a therapist for almost an entire month who has helped me tremendously with correctly channeling my feelings about everything that happened to me; Sebastian promised to talk to someone if I did, so we're both making weekly visits to shrinks.It isn't work, either. Work has been "relatively" normal ever since I returned to my apartment and eventually got back into my routine. The ideal reasons aren't the reasons at all. The real reason involves a man that I can't seem to get enough of—a man that seems to always spiral my life out of con
** Sebastian's house has a heavy, eerie feeling to it when no one is here. Its vast walls and weaving hallways have to always be occupied. If not, it's like an abandoned castle from legend. I wonder how Sebastian managed to dwell here on his own when he wasn't hosting parties. I sit outside most of the day on one of the chairs in the courtyard. With my laptop, I get back to work; it takes my mind off of last night. I want to feel somewhat normal again but in truth, I don't know if everything will ever be truly normal like it once was. I suppose this is the life I live now, and I have to learn how to adjust to it instead of running away from it. Hours pass and so do countless emails. I've responded to every media outlet in my i
** I wait for the walls to cave in on themselves. I wait for the lights to go out and for everyone to disappear. Suddenly, I'll be free falling. And right before I hit the ground, I'll jolt myself awake; this is a dream. I want this to be a dream. I want to wake up right next to Leslie with the sunrays and the sheets and shit. I don't want this to be real. But after waiting for the end of the dream, it never comes. This is real life. What I'm seeing is one-hundred percent real. Claude, Isaac and Penny stand beside me, staring in the same direction that I am but wearing different facial expressions; I'm the only one whose expression isn't distinctive. Salvador continues to try and wake Alejandro up. There's a small groan that emanates from him, but he still remai
**SEBASTIANI like watching her sleep.She'll never know this, though. Never on my fucking life; I always preach about how ridiculous it is to watch someone as they're deep in slumber, but fuck, I can't help it this time—she looks so beautiful. Angelic, almost. Peaceful, too. I've done this before, watch her sleep. We were at my mom's house in Tennessee. I went through a rough patch, and she slept on the couch in my room through the night. When I woke up, she was still there, wrapped in a blanket up to her neck, eyes soft and without worry. Now is a little different. Now, she's underneath my sheets with the fabric clinging to the titillating curves of her body. Her bare legs stick out through my bedding, her breasts barely covered. Her hair is a m
** I don't know how to feel about the sight in front of me. Alejandro being carried away. That's what I see, sitting on the ground with Sebastian's arms still wrapped around me. I watch Isaac and Claude lift his body up and haul him out of the room. His eyes are closed, hair hanging back to reveal more of the gash on his nose—the gash I created. I just stare, my body in a state of shock with my limbs frozen stiff. They struggle to haul Alejandro's mass through the door, but they succeed, the sounds of their laborious breathing being heard as they travel down the hall. When they're gone, I look around the room at the mess—the ceiling plaster scattered on the floor, the broken lamp, overturned furniture. None of it seems real when the images burn into my brain. Sebastian begins to remove his hold on me, slowly as if it's a danger to my wellbeing for him to break away. "I'll be right back," he assures me. His voice is certain and adamant
** The only thought that races through my mind is death. Alejandro is going to kill me. That's what's going to happen. He's going to shoot me, and the moment everyone downstairs hears the gunshot, it will be too late; the gun is already pressed into my back. All he needs to do is pull the trigger. "I don't want to hurt you, Leslie," Alejandro whispers in my ear. I'm too scared to speak; he told me not to make a sound. I breathe in the rough leather of his glove and tense against the gun on my back. Eyes closed, I wait for him to shoot. But he never does. Instead, he removes the gun, still keeping his hand over my mouth. I'm pressed even further into his chest, smelling the sweat and tobacco stuck to his clothing. The sound of knocking on the door makes us both jump in alarm. "Leslie, it's me," Sebastian says on the other side. The moment I hear his voice, I scream even louder into Alejandro's glove. "Shut up," he growled into m