chapter 6 - Do not look for me

Sharon's heart was pounding so fast, she walked to Isabella's bedroom door.

Since Sharon and Davis had revealed the secret between them, the house atmosphere had been uncomfortable, and she knew she had to try to rebuild her relationship with her sister if she was to move on.

Her voice faltering, she raised her hand and softly knocked at the door. But silence was all she encountered.

She called out. "Isabella, I'm here; please, can we talk?

There was no sound heard from the room. It appeared Sharon was just talking to herself. But she persisted and knew she had to be patient because of the problem she had caused.

So Sharon crushed her forehead to the doorframe, held onto the doorknob tightly, and called out again.

"Isabella, I know you're upset. I know I have hurt you. I cannot let things end this way. Please let the door open."

After a few moments of silence, finally the door opened slightly. Isabella stood in front of the door with her hands crossed on her chest. Her eyes swollen from crying, her face was pale, but her gaze clearly showed wrath.

She asked coldly, "What do you want, Sharon?"

Sharon stopped, the words lodged in her throat. "I want to fix this," she said quietly.

"I want to make things right between us."

With her arms still crossed, Isabella laughed sourly as she walked squarely into the doorway.

"Do you think you can fix this? So you believe you could make all of this right? Sharon, you already ruined everything. My trust in you, my relationship with Davis, my whole life all of it is falling apart because of you." Though she forced herself to remain cool,

Sharon felt her sister's response like a hit in the belly. Her voice cracked.

"It wasn't intentional," she said. "Before I saw Davis, I had no idea who he was. "If I had…."

'Stop!' Isabella cut off with a snap. "Don't even try to make sense of anything or defend yourself. Sharon, you had time to tell me the truth. You had years, so cut off the drama. Rather, you decided to keep it a secret and let me live with a lie."

Sharon started to cry. She answered, "I was scared; I was worried about losing you and about ruining your happiness, though I thought I could protect you from the truth, but I was mistaken. I should have informed you."

"You think saying I should have told you changes anything? Or do you think saying I am sorry could change all the damages you've caused? Isabella's voice grew louder and stronger.

Sharon shook at the rawness of her tone.

"You hurt me, Sharon; you have destroyed me. There isn't anything else to mend. Nothing!"

"I love you, Isabella," Sharon said desperately. "You are my only sister. I never meant to treat you badly.

Isabella laughed loudly, sarcastically repeating what Sharon had just said. "You love me," her voice was full of contempt.

"If you did, you would have left my life as soon as you learnt who Davis was. But you had to keep your secret, so look where we are now."

Sharon replied, her hands shaking. "Please, Isabella; do not let this destroy us. I will do all it takes to make things right. Tell me exactly what you need from me.

Isabella grimaced at her sister, her eyes narrowed.

"You want to know what I need from you?" she questioned angrily. "I need you to walk away. Take your son with you and leave my life, this place. I don't want to see you again, and stay away from Davis.

Startled by Isabella's strong demand, Sharon gasped. She whispered, "You don't mean that."

"I do," Isabella said, with much conviction. "Sharon, you've done enough damage. Simply go; that's all you can do to make things right.

For a few moments, Sharon stood still, hoping her sister might change her mind. Isabella's face stayed frigid and unforgiving.

"Fine," Sharon said finally, not audibly enough. "If that is what you want, Isabella, I will go."

Sharon returned to her room and curled up on her bed later that evening and watched Ethan play with his favourite toy. Her head was spinning with contradictory feelings: rage, hopelessness, guilt, and a great loss.

She couldn't stay somewhere she wasn't wanted, but she couldn't stand the thought of leaving her family. But perhaps everyone would benefit from leaving, she concluded.

Isabella needs time to heal; I have to rebuild my life. Sharon packed a small rucksack including basics for Ethan and herself as the evening progressed.

She moved gently, careful not to wake anyone. She carefully took out a small paper and pen to write the note she intended to leave behind, but it seemed so difficult; it was the toughest challenge.

She had to rewrite it many times before finding something straightforward: "I intend to rebuild my life." The words did not flow easily; she paused and thought to herself.

"Should I leave a note behind?" She finally concluded and wrote the last words, "Do not look for me."

She put the note on the table in the sitting room where our parents would find it first thing in the morning when they wake up.

That night, even though she didn't have anywhere to go, she concluded she would sleep at the airport, and the first thing in the morning, she would book a flight.

After one last look around the house where so many memories had been built, Sharon then grabbed Ethan, who was fast asleep, and carried him out into the night.

Walking down the quiet street under cool, silent air as she walked quietly down the aisle. Though each stride seemed more weighty than the next, she reminded herself that it was the only way she could provide her sister the needed space.

She thought about the childhood memories with Isabella: "Probably she would forgive me one day. Perhaps we will be a family once more some day," she said to herself.

Sharon could only focus on the future for now, which would be uncertain but also full of chances for healing and advancement. She hugged Ethan near as she disappeared into the night, determined to reconstruct her life for his and her child.