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79. HOPE

HANA

My phone vibrated for the thirteenth time, and for the thirteenth time, I hoped it was Bash even though I knew it was not possible. I shouldn't hope for it. I should not go to him again. I should not meddle in his life again. WE ARE OVER. I know we are over. Then why am I looking at my mobile as though he could burst out of it and hoping for him to call more than ever?

I don't want to get out of my bed. I just lay, staring at the ceiling. His watch will never sit on my bedside table. His shirts won't lie in my closet anymore. I could never smell his scent anywhere. I have been there. I have seen it all. I am afraid of it. I am afraid of going back to the world where Bash and I broke up. We weren't together before. At least, I knew we had a chance. I knew he loved me. I knew he wanted me. Now it's all in the past.

What do I do now? The thought of going through this separation all over again made my heart sink. How much time will I take now? How do I move past this after ho
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