When Elizabeth takes a new job as a nanny, she assumes she's going to work for a wealthy couple who hired her. But instead of pulling up to their million-dollar estate, she finds herself on the front porch of a humble farmhouse, looking into the eyes of dark and brooding single dad, Jonathan. It's bad enough that Jon doesn't have a fortune to charm out of him, but he's also a police officer. After marrying his college girlfriend only to have her leave months after their baby was born, Jon has sworn off girls for life. All that matters now is taking care of his child. If anyone can break down the tough exterior of the former soldier, it's her. But just when she's close to getting exactly what she wants, she's faced with a whole new challenge. That is to pretend she does not love him.
Lihat lebih banyakFor as long as I can remember, there’s been an emptiness inside of me. The more I try to ignore it, the deeper it sets into my bones, seeping down, deep down, until it becomes part of me. It’s easy to blame the emptiness on my shitty upbringing. Having to give up my dreams of a future to take care of my brother and sister. Growing up with an addict for a mother and being the one who found her cold, stiff body after an overdose.
But I felt it before then, and sometimes I wonder if the emptiness isn’t empty at all. Maybe it’s darkness, and it’s always been a part of me. And when you have darkness inside of you, you have two choices: hate yourself for it or embrace it.
I chose the latter.
The bathroom door closes with a heavy thud, and I step up to the mirror, pulling out cherry red lipstick from my purse. I carefully apply it, fluff my hair, and stare at my reflection avoiding the tiny bit of judgment my moral compass is giving me. That thing’s been broken for years anyway.
I close my eyes and think of homeless puppies, conjuring up images from those heartbreaking commercials I usually fast-forward through. It doesn’t take much to make myself cry fake tears. If my cards had been dealt a different way, I’d be one hell of an actress.
Fake crying? No problem.
Real crying? I haven’t done it in years. Crying means feeling, and feeling isn’t a luxury I can afford.
My life is such a mess that if I stopped and looked at it—really looked at it—I’d be a blubbering fool.
Tears well in my eyes and I let a few falls, smearing my mascara, before heading back out to the bar. It’s a little afternoon on a Tuesday, and the bar just opened up. It’s inside a swanky hotel, and I can afford exactly half a watered-down whiskey here.
Spotting my target, I take a seat at the bar and order a vodka tonic with top-shelf liquor. I’m getting cocky, perhaps, but I didn’t wear this uncomfortable-as-fuck pushup bra for nothing today.
I slowly sip my drink, crossing my legs and leaning back on the bar stool. I squeeze my eyes shut and more tears roll down my cheeks. Setting the glass down, I angrily wipe them away, looking down at my mobile and shaking my head.
I’m now wearing a pair of worn-out Nikes and have twisted my hair into a messy bun on the top of my head. I had to hurry to get to the medical supply store in time to put in the order and have it delivered with tomorrow’s shipment.
I’ve had this wheelchair on hold for weeks now, and after arguing with insurance for days on end, I knew it was either make my father suffer in his current ill-fitting chair that pinches his thighs and causes sores on his lower back, or do whatever I can to get the money to get him this new one before the sores open up and turned into pressure ulcers. Again. We’ve been down this road before and it almost ended his life. The sores get infected and he’s too old and too weak to fight off another infection. It would take me weeks if not months to earn enough from my waitressing job to cover this expensive as fuck wheelchair.
I confirm everything, making double sure the wheelchair will get delivered to the nursing home and then the right patient tomorrow afternoon. The cashier throws out a catty “well you could be there if you’re so worried” that I respond with a glare and a roll of my eyes. I don’t have time for her shit.
The wind picks up, carrying a cool fall breeze with it. It’s the end of September and it’s been unseasonably warm all week. Not that I’m complaining though. The lake-effect snow will be here before we know it, and I’ll be trudging through it to work and back.
But today, though it’s nice enough out to walk, I have enough leftover cash from Blue Suit to take public transportation and buy myself something for lunch. I put on my head mobile and sit at the back of the bus, ignoring the world around me.
A sleeping toddler is tucked under her arm, wearing dirty clothes. They’re both in desperate need of a bath, and suddenly tacos seem irrelevant. I come to a stop, digging the twenty out of my purse.
I get seated in the visitor area and lean back while I wait. My mind begins to wander, and I quickly reel that fucker in. Don’t think. Don’t feel.
“Scar!”
I look up and see my sister quickly walking over.
“Jesus Christ, Heather.” My eyes widen, and I shake my head. “What the fuck did you do to your hair?”
She flops into the chair with a huff. “I knew you’d hate it.”
Reaching over, I run my fingers through the rough cut. A natural blonde like me, Heather has butchered her long locks into a terrible above-the-shoulders bob with streaks of black and red throughout.
“It looks like a prison haircut.”
“Well, it is a prison haircut. I’m in fucking prison, Scar,” she spits out, nostrils flaring. We glare at each other for a few seconds and then burst out laughing. She reaches over the table and gives me a quick hug, ignoring the C.O. saying us not to touch.
“How are things?” she asks.
“As good as they can be,” I say with a shrug. “I got Father the new chair, and Jason was able to call home a few days ago.”
Heather’s face lights up. “God, I miss that little shit.”
“Me too.” Two years ago, our younger brother shipped off to the Middle East with the Army. I hate that he’s away, but I’m proud of him for making something of himself. He’s the only Smith to do so…so far. We’re a dysfunctional family, but we care about each other something fierce.
“Hey,” she says, lowering her voice and leaning over. “I was talking to one of the girls in here.”
I raise my eyebrows, knowing what comes next. It’s usually a harebrained idea like all of her ideas are, and never ends well for her. Hence why I’m visiting my baby sister in prison.
“And?”
Her lips curve into a smile. “I have a job opportunity for you.”
“I think Salsa is a good name.” I give Edward an encouraging nod.“It is cute,” Maggie agrees.“Do you think Father will let Salsa come home with us?” Edward picks up the kitten and kisses her head. Jon got a little nervous around the time he was supposed to go into work. Instead of having Edward come back here, I went over to Maggie’s. Edward and I are staying the night here, and Jon is coming by in the morning.Even though Rebecca was arrested and released with potential charges, we have no idea if she knows I’m back. And once she finds out her plans to sabotage the race, drive me out of town, and get Jon back didn’t work, she’ll be pissed. She might do something crazy.Though if she’s smart, she’ll be on her best behavior so she can try to convince a judge that she’s worthy of any sort of visitation rights with Edward, which seem unlikely considering she basically tried to ki
I reach over and take Elizabeth’s hand. We’re headed back to Eastwood and though I should probably be a dozen other things, I’m happy. Elizabeth is coming home with me.“Why did you start conning people?” I ask, giving her hand a squeeze.“I realized I could,” she confesses. “It wasn’t like a dream I had when I was a little girl to grow up and be a con artist.”“What did you want to be when you grew up?”She shakes her head. “I don’t know. For a while there I wanted to work at a zoo, but then things changed and I realized I didn’t have options. Especially after I dropped out of high school to take care of Heather and Jason.”“You did go back, right?”“Right. My father showed up again and was able to look after them. Luckily, because our mother died shortly after.” She looks out the window and it hits me how different our ch
I sit up, eyes waking up before my mind. I’m uncomfortable with stiff legs and an aching back, and for a split second, I think I fell asleep sitting up on the couch. Then I blink and realize my eyes are still sore and swollen from crying.Yes, crying.The room is dark, and I sit up, stretching my arms over my head. I didn’t mean to fall asleep in the stiff armchair next to my father’s bed at the nursing home. After leaving Jonathan’s house, I walked into town, took Eastwood’s only taxi to Newport and was able to get an Uber to drive me up to Chicago.I didn’t know where else to go other than the nursing home. Father was having a bad day, and just sat in his chair not really paying attention to anything. So, for the first time in my entire life, I spilled my guts. Said everything I ever wanted to say. Confessed the bad things I’ve done as well as admit just how deep my love for Jonathan goes.And Father just sat th
“What about this one?” I ask Edward, picking up a pink teapot with little purple flowers painted along the base.Edward shakes his head. “Elizabeth isn’t really a girly girl, Father.”“Good point. It’s too pink for her. Too bad I didn’t think of this around Halloween.” I push the cart forward, browsing the shelves of a home decor store. We needed to go grocery shopping, and Elizabeth said she wasn’t feeling well. Saying her to stay home and rest, Edward and I set out.Something is off with her, and I’m sure it has to do with Rebecca showing back up. I don’t want Elizabeth to think that old feelings came back the moment I saw my wife. It did the opposite, and if there was any good that came out of this, it’s knowing that I can look at Rebecca and feel absolutely nothing.Elizabeth is the only one I want.“That one!” Edward leans out of the cart an
I pull the blankets tighter around my shoulders, unable to stop shivering. Jon has been gone for nearly an hour now, and I haven’t heard from him. Every minute that passes makes me more anxious. I’ve shut down, told everyone I was tired and wanted to sit in silence on the couch. Morgan wentupstairs to sleep, and Maggie and Tommy left about half an hour ago. Emma woke up crying, and after nursing her back to sleep, Maggie was able to slip her into her car seat and leave.Mrs. Mount walks out from the kitchen to check on me, and I close my eyes and pretend that I’m asleep. I have no idea what will happen. I’m in the middle of nowhere at their farm. While this place feels safe and I trust the Mounts as if they were my own family—actually I trust them more than my own—I want out of here. Because shit is going to hit the fan at any minute and I don’t think I can stand to see the disappointment in Mrs. Mount’s eyes.My
This is the last fucking thing I want to be doing right now. I used to hope Rebecca would show up like this just so I could serve her with divorce papers, but things are already in the works and can get taken care of. I’ll have to call Mr. Williams tomorrow and see how her showing up like this affects my case.Exhaustion hits me, making the short drive from my parents’ house to my house challenging. All I want to do is take Elizabeth up to the bed, fuck her senseless, and pass out naked next to her.We have a good thing going, and I can’t help the sick feeling that’s forming in the pit of my stomach that all this soon-to-be ex-wife drama is too much for her. I’m terrified of losing her, of having her decide this isn’t what she signed up for, and take off running for someone with less baggage.I know events unfolded in such a way tonight that anyone would be shocked, but there’s something different about Elizabeth. I don&
“I swear to you, it burned my mouth,” Maggie says and we both laugh. “I told Tommy I would never go down on him again if he eats spicy food. I know he likes it, but for the sake of a blow job he’ll give it—what the fuck?”She grabs my arm and comes to a dead stop.“What’s wrong?” I face Maggie. Her green eyes are wide and it’s like she just saw a ghost. Following her line of sight, I turn and do a double-take. The annoying eavesdropping woman from the visitation room at the prison is standing a few feet from us.Is this a strange coincidence or is she—“What the fuck are you doing here?” Maggie demands, and a darkness that I’ve never seen before comes out in here. “Get the hell out of here before I beat your ass.”The annoying lady puts her hand on her hip and shakes her head. “Nice to see you too, Maggie.” Wait a minute. She knows Maggie?
“You’re officially a heartbreaker, Jonathan.” Elizabeth turns away from the stove, setting down a wooden spoon. I just got home from work and the house smells amazing. “How so?” I ask, amused. I take off my shoes. “And what is that?” “Spiced cider. We can add rum to ours if you want.”“That sounds good.” It’s a cold and windy day and I spent the last hour and a half of my shift outside in it, dealing with a car accident. No one was seriously hurt, but both people involved had flaring tempers, which made everything take twice as long. I unzip my coat, longing to feel Elizabeth’s warm body pressed against me. “How am I a heartbreaker?”Elizabeth strides over and wraps her arms around my neck. I slip a cold hand under her shirt, making her shriek and squirm away. I hold her tighter, laughing.“Your hands are like ice!”“It’s cold out.”
I’ve never felt more welcome, more at home, than I do with the Mounts. Everyone was thrilled when Jon told them we were dating. I think I smiled the entire time we ate, the whole way home, and while I straightened up the house when Jon put Edward to bed.“I have to work in the morning,” Jon reminds me when I get into bed next to him.“I know. You’re leaving at seven, right?”“Yeah. And then I have some campaign shit to do.” He turns off the bedside light and takes me in his arms. “I want to stay home with you.”“I’d like that too.” I curl a leg up around him.“Is it presumptuous to open that box of condoms now?” he asks with a cheeky grin. “No. Not at all.”He kisses my neck and moves on top of me. “So, we had sex,” he begins.“We did? When?”“Just now. You didn’t feel it?”&ldqu
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